Chapter Text
The rest of the school day was a blur of Link blissfully and carelessly moving around school, he didn't see Rhett for the remainder of the day because they apparently didn't share any other classes, and he was also nowhere to be found during Lunch. Leslie was confused by Link's mood change, he was almost dazed and although Link had his quirks and acted pretty oddly or unpredictably sometimes, she didn't know what to think, never had he seen him so...out of it before. She'd tried to start a conversation with him at lunch but every response she received was a shrug or a smirk with an exhale through the nose, Link was completely unreachable, and after some persistence, she eventually gave up trying to communicate with him entirely.
At the end of the day she'd decided to walk him home, authentically scared that her friend would somehow end up dead in a ditch on the way there if he wasn't supervised, but Link had declined the offer, finally using actual words to communicate as he told her that he'd be okay. She hadn't been completely convinced, but decided to leave it anyway, he wouldn't budge.
In truth, Link's blissful and dazed attitude wasn't really a result of happiness, in fact, it was mostly based out of pure fear; as far as Link was concerned, he'd just ruined his life, and the attitude was a result of being utterly clueless on what would happen next. On the outside Link seemed the happiest he'd ever been, but in actuality, he was so terrified he'd forgotten how to function as a normal human being.
~♥~
On Saturday Link woke up to eat breakfast with his mom like every other weekend, and for the day, he almost felt normal, too occupied with helping his mother around the house with chores and watching TV alongside her to remember the events of the previous morning. For a while Link almost felt like nothing had happened at school, and the feeling even carried all the way into Sunday.
Like most other Sunday mornings Link was up getting ready for church, and although Link didn't care for the length of it or how early it was, he'd always believed it were in some way important, and he didn't really mind sacrificing the few hours of sleep if it meant he wouldn't go to Hell or something like that.
It started off as normal as any other time he'd went, seeing the majority of Buies Creek's residents filling the pews wearing their nicest, if not repetitive garments like every other Sunday, settling in and greeting each other as they waited for the pastor to begin. He felt more grounded in that moment than he had in all the past few days combined, and the familiarity of the setting allowed him to relax, listening more attentively to what the pastor was saying than he usually would.
From the back of the room Link hung onto every word the pastor spoke, clapping along with the others in the room, and feeling almost cleansed from the self deprecation that had riddled his brain, why should he feel so bad about himself if God loved him? Link saw his mom giving him a weird look to his left, most likely confused as to why her son who'd never shown a large interest in church was suddenly participating so actively. He simply smiled at her and kept listening.
Toward the end of the morning the pastor took yet another pause, changing the subject, "Now I'd like everyone to flip to book three of the Old Testament, Leviticus, chapter eighteen, verse twenty-two."
Link scrunched his eyebrows in confusion, it sounded familiar, like something they'd reviewed before, but he couldn't quite remember it, nevertheless he searched through the rather large book in his lap to find it. Link dragged his finger down the worn page to find the verse. Before his eyes could settle on the words, he heard the pastor begin to speak again above him. In an instant, Link felt his streak of contentment shatter. Though the words were slightly faded from the age of the book, Link was able to read them clearly in his mind as the pastor did the same aloud. "Leviticus 18:22, Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination."
All of Link's conflicted thoughts returned to him, his mind finally confronting the nature of all his unhappiness in the past weeks. Link had never really thought of "lying" with someone, definitely not a guy for that matter, but as he knew, (and as he heard the pastor explain) the verse was just a general statement for how homosexuality was wrong, how it was an "abomination". Link never thought he was gay, not until recently had he realized that he actually liked someone in that sense, and quite frankly, Link hated it; he hated that Rhett had been the first person he actually liked, he hated that it wasn't Leslie like it should've been, or some other nice girl from the school, he hated that liking Rhett was a sin, he hated it all. He wanted to go back, to take back the moment where he'd met that stupid blonde, to Link, this was Rhett's fault, it was completely Rhett's fault that he was so nice and pretty and made Link into a huge fucking fag in a matter of days, it was Rhett's fault that he was gonna go to fucking hell. Link felt himself starting to panic as he tried to subtly hold his head in his hands, he wanted to get out of the room, wanted to remove himself from the hard wooden pew that was hurting his back almost as much as the pastor's words hurt his brain; he needed to get out. Never had Link left during church for any reason, not even to use the bathroom because he was always too shy to tell his mom he had to go, always too paranoid of judgement from the other goers if he stood abruptly, but he couldn't take it, and leaned over to his mom to tell her he needed to go.
After receiving a nod and yet another confused look from his mom, Link raised to his feet, awkwardly squeezing between the pew and the family next to his seat who gave him dirty looks as he walked directly in front of them. He apologized repeatedly until he finally reached the end, wasting no time as he swiftly moved in the direction of the bathroom.
When Link arrived it wasn't empty, two men occupied the room and Link nearly teared his eyes away from them so as not to stare, he felt gross, he felt perverted. Link inhaled deeply as he dipped into a stall, lowering the seat so he'd have somewhere to rest, as he sat down he heard the sink start, they'd both probably be gone soon, he'd be alone, he needed to be alone.
His head dropped into his hands and his breathing was unsteady, he was going to cry, he was losing it. Link heard the door swing open but no steps followed it, the men were gone. Link rose to his feet again and opened the door of the stall, moving to the sink in front of it. Link washed his hands before he dipped his head into the sink as well, splashing the water onto his face to try to calm down. The memory of how he'd done the exact same thing just moments before he'd kissed Rhett came to his mind, and without hesitation, he stopped, he didn't want ti remember that, didn't want to remember how he ruined himself. Link dried his hands before quietly and quickly moving back into the main room and out the door, he knew no one was looking, all too focused on the pastor to care, but he still felt as though everyone noticed, that everyone knew what he was running from.
Link walked out onto the empty steps of the church's entrance, the humid North Carolina air feeling like it could somehow suffocate him even more than the suddenly tight dress shirt he was wearing. The sun was scolding the same way it had been when he first met Rhett, and Link physically shook his head trying to forget. The dark-haired boy sat down on the concrete steps that were no more comfortable than the hard pews inside, although he'd come out here to escape, it seemed like he never would.
Link stayed outside trying to rid his head of its conflictions, why did this all have to be so complicated? Why couldn't Link just not like Rhett? Why couldn't Rhett just be another boy at Link's school that he didn't care for? Why did Link have to be this way?
In the midst of his crisis Link heard the main door behind him open again and stood up to move away, the morning was over. Link kept his head down, looking off to the side as multiple families filed out of the large building until he heard a familiar voice somewhere ahead of him. "Link?"
Link looked up to see the smiling and yet confused face of his closest friend. "Leslie?"
Link watched as Leslie gave a look to a woman he assumed to be her mom that had exited with her, making her aware that she was gonna move away. Link heard her mom speak back to her, she too didn't have a country accent just like Leslie. "We're leaving in 5 minutes."
Leslie walked over toward Link. "Whatcha doing out here by yourself, stranger?"
Link feigned a quick smile, huffing air out from his nose as he responded. "Nothing."
Leslie paused as she made a weird look at Link. She moved closer to him and took his wrist in her hand, leading him down the steps away from the crowd of people exiting the building. Link was confused but didn't stop her. "Where're we-?"
Leslie cut him off as they arrived to a bench on the sidewalk. "Just here."
Leslie sat down and then gestured for Link to do the same, with an odd look, he complied.
Leslie sighed loudly before she began to speak again, "What's been going on Link?"
Link opened his mouth ready to deny that anything had changed with him, but when he took in the authentic concern on his friend's face he became ashamed that he'd ever made her so worried about him. Link relaxed and tensed at the same time, his shoulders dropping and then stiffing in place. He looked around to see them surrounded by fellow church-goers chatting outside the building just as they were; he would speak to her, but not here.
Link turned back to Leslie who'd been patiently waiting for his response, hesitating before speaking. "Can you come to my house?"
Leslie perked up, hopeful that she'd finally get answers from her closest friend. She rose to her feet before responding with a smile nearly as bright as her blue eyes, "I'll go ask my mom."