Chapter Text
And it wasn't a lie...fifteen minutes later there was a knock on the door and Johnny jumped up and opened it,hugging Alex's legs befor he could have been stopped once again and the man kneeled down to hold him properly.Miles stayed in the doorway of their room,not wanting to ruin the day even more by any wrong move...
-I missed you...-Johnny whispered and despite Alex bit down on his lip as hard as he could he couldn't hold back his tears any longer.He loved this child so much...even though he knew that he wasn't his dad or anything but still...he had never felt something similar.And whenever Johnny said or done something to let him know that he was important for the little boy too Alex got way too weak...especially now...
The toddler didn't mind him tightening his hold and nuzzled into his neck,pushing his small hands into Alex's hair,a habit of his that didn't seem to die until he felt the man's shoulder shake so he pulled back a bit and placed his hands on Alex's face gently before pressing their foreheads together whispering a 'Don't cry' and it made Alex smile through his tears,knowing more than well that he had learnt the gesture from Miles...
He just took his little hand and pressed a kiss on it.
-Why are you crying?-Johnny asked,looking a bit confused and so adorable that Alex had to smile as he shook his head.
-I just missed you too...-he whispered back,pressing a kiss on the toddler's soft cheek before hugging him again.The answer seemed to be enough and soon Johnny nuzzled into his neck and continued to play with his hair,completely calm now,for the first time since he woke up and slowly Alex managed to get himself together too.-What about you going to sleep now?
-Noooo...-Johnny whined quietly and clinged at Alex even more.
Alex just sighed and picked him up,kicking his shoes off before walking away from the door into the stunning stary room that was lit by the small lamp and giggled when Johnny told him that he smelt strange,refering to the cigarettes and the beer he had at the pub and he mumbled back a sorry.
Sitting down next to the spaceship-like bed Alex sighed sadly,thinking about that maybe this is the last time he could do it...Johnny was still holding his hand and it made it even harder...
-You had a good day,puppet?-he asked softly,while the kid started to played with his fingers.
-No...-he mumbled and Alex frowned worriedly.
-Why not?
-You weren't here...and I didn't have me box with breakfast and me toy...and we will have this performing thingy...but I don't want it...
-C'mon,love...you should...you would be the best one for sure!
He just shrugged.
-Everyone will have their mum and dad there...and I don't want daddeh to come alone...he is always too stressed and strange there...I...I wanted to ask ya...
-Me?
Johnny nodded.
-I want ya to come too...
-I'd love to go and see you...-Alex smiled lovingly.
-Really?-Johnny's eyes lit up.-Daddeh would love it wif you there!
Alex wasn't so sure but he kept on smiling at his enthusiasm.
-Will you sleep now,love?-he asked,running a hand through the toddler's soft hair.
-Will you read me?Please...
Alex nodded,grabbing the book he started yesterday and read the next tale,watching as Johnny closed his eyes and fell asleep before he could even finish the first page.He read it until the last word anyway and then just stayed there for a while,not knowing what to do.They have never had a fight with Miles before...and he still didn't know what was wrong...but it had to be done.They had to try to get trough it together and talk about it...as adults do.
Standing up and looking back at Johnny hugging the monkey toy, he only knew that he didn't want it to end.
Miles was in the kitchen,fidgeting while waiting for the tea to be ready and Alex walked closer to the table,waiting.Even though the table was between them he was too anxious to move any further.
Miles felt his hand sweat as he cleared his throat before speaking.
-Um...do you...want to sit down?
Alex nodded and did so.Soon Miles sat down too,pushing the mug closer to Alex cautiously as if he was afraid the other wouldn't accept.He was.But Alex did and mumbled a Thanks.
-I can explain...-Miles said quietly after long minutes of silence.
-Please do...
Alex watched him chewing on his bottom lip,thinking hard about the right words,eyes fixed on the mug...Alex really wanted to know what was bothering him...
-I...I'm really sorry,Alex...I don't even know why I did that,you didn't deserve it,I just...I had a terrible day...It was a mess and I think it's mostly because I didn't have you here and then the thought of it...made me freak out...-he admitted,all honest and more nervous and ashamed than ever.Alex never gave him any reasons not to trust him.-I used to be able to keep it together...but what if I couldn't any longer,if I didn't have you...?And Johnny was all moody too,missing you all day...it's...something I shouldn't have let happen...
Alex blinked rapidly to stop himself from tearing up but those words and what they suggested hurt him more than anything.He tried to cling into the hope that one bad and busy day couldn't possibly make Miles realise that it shouldn't have happened...
The silence was so heavy... he cleared his throat before speaking,not really trusting his voice.
-Um...yeah...I see...maybe...maybe it was too much...me moving in and all...and if...if it's not good for Johnny as well and it bothers you then...-his voice cracked and he rather stopped there,shutting his eyes and lowering his chin.What was he doing?He was planning to fight for everything they had,not to give it up so soon...
The feeling of defeat dragged him down totally and he just waited for Miles to say the final words,it was his decision after all.
-Alex...-came a soft whisper from closer than he expected.-Don't cry,my love...
He just sobbed and soon he felt Miles' arms around his shaking body,holding him close for the first time that day,and it felt so heavenly it just made him cry even more.
-I-I don't want it to end,Miles...-he sobbed helplessly.-I don't want you to r-regret that I've moved on and b-became part of your life...and Johnny's...it...it means the world to me...
-To end?-Miles asked,clearly confused before he got it.-Wait...you think I want you to leave?
He pulled away a bit to be able to look at Alex who just kept his eyes stuck on the ground and shrugged but his sobs killed the credibility of his nonchalant gesture.
-You're silly...-Miles sighed,pulling him close again and pressing a kiss on the top of his head.-I was just pointing out how important you are...and not just for me,even though I wasn't far from becoming a grumpy old man after waking up without your kisses and cuddles but also for Johnny.And you make so much effort to make him have everything and you don't mind wasting your time on little things that eventually make him happy and he loves you so much...And yes,the truth of how much in need of you I am and we are is scaring me a lot after experiencing this day without your peresence but...but I'm not afraid to put all my trust in you.You're a miracle...I can't believe I was such an asshole to you,I'm really sorry,honey...-he said pressing more kisses into Alex's hair.-C'mon this speech's aim was to make you stop crying...
-W-well...you've just made me cry even more you sappy bastard...-Alex sobbed but Miles could hear that he was smiling and his tears were for another reason...
-I love you so much...-Miles whispered into his ear.-I promise I'll never act like thad ever again...
-I love you too...-Alex mumbled into his chest,seemingly calming down after their terribly awful and long day.
-And one last thing...you do have all the rights to tell me how to raise Johnny,he considers you to be his other parent and I couldn't wish for anyone but you to actually be the one who is by his side...
-Miles...you really don't have to,just because-
-No!It's true!I feel like you really are the part of our family too,so there's no turning back now...-he said half-jokingly and then pointed at the drawing Johnny made about them.-You see?Our family...with you right there next to me!Okay there are some questionable stuff too but...
-I couldn't even imagine something more honorific and wonderful...-Alex said quietly,resting his head on Miles' shoulder and looking at the drawing.
-I'm happy you feel like that because we're in this together,Turner...-Miles teased him and Alex giggled,nuzzling closer to the love of his life,only wanting to feel him close.-You know...I couldn't even kiss you today...
Alex rolled his eyes before tilting his head a bit and Miles' lips were on his immediately,kissing him slowly and gently with so much love Alex felt his knees buckle so he put his arms tightly around Miles' neck to pull him even closer and deepen their soft kiss.
They ended up making out in their bed,Miles kissing and touching him everywhere and Alex tried his best not to make much noise but it was the hardest thing on ther world especially when Miles was so in love his lust-filled sighs and moans just like with those whimpers of his name...
-And Mi...-Alex whispered,suddenly remembering something and Miles stilled,looking at him while pressing some more feather light kisses on his bare shoulder.-I did tell you that I'll help Matt today...
-Did you,love?
Alex nodded,running his hads through Miles' short hair as the other climbed on the top of him.
-Yesterday...night...-he whispered and suddenly Miles froze.
-Aleeex...-he whined,burying his head on the crook of Alex's neck.-I can't believe you've told me something so important,just after we've had sex...Did I even respond?
-Um...You said something like 'Sure' and then mumbled something about how mind-blowing I was...-Alex grinned,realising his fault and then they just shared a laugh.
-You little devil...-Miles growled and bit into the soft skin of his neck playfuly,that caused Alex to let out a soft moan.-But you were really mind-blowing though...-he grinned and Alex blushed before they shared another heated kiss.