Chapter Text
Keith
Several days later
The past several days had been hard. It seemed like their excursion to fight Sendak had caused a ripple effect even Lotor couldn’t have predicted.
After the altercation Keith quickly informed Kolivan of the information Lotor had learned about their betrayal, leading to the horrified anger of Ezor, Zethrid, and Acxa. They’d protested, saying Lotor must have gotten it wrong, not willing to believe their friend would sell them all out to Haggar. But when they’d later investigated the safe house they found she’d gone, with no trace as to where she’d left.
In light of the information, Kolivan concluded none of Lotor’s usual safe houses were truly safe; if Narti really had given them all up, then who knows to the extent she told. Here was nowhere they could go hide in any of Lotor’s usual places. Kolivan offered protection detail for Lance, Hunk, and Pidge, letting them return to their homes with clandestined Blade members acting as guards for the time being. And for Keith, Shiro, Lotor, and his three remaining companions, he offered a temporary shelter at the Blade of Marmora underground headquarters there in the wild pine barrens of West Virginia. They’d be safe there while they recovered.
And they were, though it was hard for Keith not to feel like an imposition. Even as he was being taken care of by the Blade of Marmora medics back at the base, he tried to force himself not to downplay his injuries and deny help—mostly only because he knew Shiro and Lotor would rebuke him for it. So he bit down his uncomfortableness and dealt with the attention, knowing it’s what they would have wanted.
Not that either of them expressed it at the time. Shiro was immediately brought into the medbay and carted off into a healing chamber. Keith had insisted on seeing him and making sure he was ok but he was not let in for the entire first 24hrs, being told Shiro needed rest and the magic they were using to heal him needed time. Still new to concept of healing magic, Keith remained skeptical but decided to pick his battles.
The same was with Lotor. He tried to see him too but was also kept away, being told Lotor’s injuries were severe and needed extensive care. He’d spent hours trying to convince them to let him give him blood, that that’s what he’d need to heal. But after a heated argument with one of the medics resulted in Keith being carted off by Zethrid, carrying him away by throwing him over her shoulder, Keith finally calmed down once they agreed to retrieve blood from a local blood bank.
It took two days before Shiro awoke, concussed and exhausted but otherwise fine, his other physical injuries healed by whatever magical means the Blade had used. Keith had been too stressed to learn the intricacies of quintessence but he trusted the Blade to know what they were doing. He didn’t have any other choice.
Keith almost broke down when he went in to see Shiro, apologizing profusely for getting him involved and hurt, taking all the responsibility and wishing he could have spared Shiro all of this. He almost didn’t hear Shiro telling him it was ok and that he wasn’t angry over his own rambling about how he would understand if Shiro wanted nothing to do with him anymore after this. It took Shiro literally shaking him out of his thoughts to get him to stop.
“Keith,” he’d said, looking at him with a mix of fondness and annoyance. His hand was on Keith shoulder as he sat up in the hospital bed he’d been placed in. “If you think I’m abandoning you now after all this time you’re stupider than I thought.”
He’d let out a half laugh that morphed into a sigh of relief. Keith wasn’t sure why he’d expected Shiro to leave him but it was nice to hear it contradicted aloud. Warmth and affection filled his veins and he suddenly felt very grateful for having Shiro in his life.
“You know I love you right?” Shiro had said to him, giving him a small smile that lit up his entire face.
“Yeah,” Keith had croaked out, emotion clogging his throat. “I love you too.”
He’d stayed with Shiro for a long while, just sitting with him and talking. At first they talked about the fight, what had happened, who’d gotten hurt, Narti’s apparent betrayal, Lotor’s condition, what they were going to do now. But after a while they just couldn’t discuss it anymore. It was too raw, too recent and they just let the conversation lapse and fall into easier topics.
They talked about their friends, and Lotor, and relationships in general. Keith listened to Shiro speculate on his relationship with Lotor, too entertained to interrupt for the accuracy of his statements. It was mindless talk, about dates and hookups, and past relationship failures on both their sides, and friendships and hardships, and just how fucking long they’d known each other. And for the first time in a very long time, Keith felt totally and completely himself.
It took four days before he could see Lotor. His injuries had been such that he’d fallen unconscious for a few days, and when he had woken up its been for brief bits of time with not much awareness to where he was. But after missing Lotor wake up twice, even just briefly, Keith insisted on staying by his side until he awoke again.
He’d been sitting for just over 18 hours, in a chair he’d dragged in himself and placed right at the side of the bed. Empty cups of coffee were littered on the floor space around him and he had his legs pulled up under him as he just started to drift off to sleep. Lotor was laid back against a few pillows that propped him up slightly. His silver hair was pulled to the side and lay over his shoulder, covering a few of the remaining bandages that were still on his chest. Most of his more superficial cuts had healed already thanks to his healing capabilities and whatever magic the Blade had access to that Keith still didn’t understand. But the more deeper marks were still closing, most covered in scarred pinkish skin. The marks and bruises around his neck and face where Sendak had held him down and choked him were only now just beginning to fade, still creating deep purple rings on his skin.
The worst of his injuries was his several broken ribs and arm. Those still hadn’t completely healed yet but the one medic who Keith had basically accosted in the medbay told him he was sure Lotor would be healed within the week, and he just needed to be patient. Which was not Keith’s strong suit. But for Lotor, he supposed he’d have to give it a shot.
Luckily he hadn’t needed to wait another day as Lotor’s eyes fluttered open, squinting in the mostly dim light of the closed off section of the medbay they were sequestered in. Realizing he was awake, Keith quickly rubbed sleep from his eyes and sat up from where he’d been slumped in the chair, just about dozing off. Mouth dry from from slight dehydration combined with exhaustion made him hold back on speaking for a moment as he watched Lotor’s eyes search the room before settling on him.
Once Lotor’s gaze found him it was like a soft warmth sunk deep into his bones, filling him with a radiant glow of affection. Though Lotor still looked pallid and injured, just seeing the light in his eyes broke through the layer of worry that held onto Keith’s heart. Instinctively his hand reached out and took Lotor’s hand in his, giving him a light squeeze that he hoped conveyed the depth of his feelings. Feelings that were filling his heart and clogging his throat, preventing him from even attempting to speak.
“You look like shit,” Lotor said, a small smile pulling at his lips.
A laugh fell from Keith’s lips before he could stop himself. It felt good to laugh, so good. “Yeah, you’re one to talk,” he said after a few moments.
Lotor gave a slight one shouldered shrug he half winced through. “I’m sure however bad it looks, I feel ten times worse.”
Keith’s face fell slightly, looking at him with an empathetic expression. “How bad is it?”
“Well I’ve certainly felt better,” Lotor said, pulling his hand from Keith’s grasp so he could use it to leverage himself up into a seated position. Holding his casted arm across his bandaged rib cage, he used his good hand to push himself up, letting out a few low pained groans as he did. “That… that’s quite painful.”
Keith got up in a rush, almost kicking over his most recent cup of coffee he’d left half finished and abandoned on the floor in front of him. “Can I get you something? Or–or help you with something? Or can I—”
“Keith,” Lotor said cutting his rambling off. He stuck out his good hand, now that he’d fixed himself, and held Keith’s wrist keeping him from walking away. “Please sit down. I’m fine. Well, not fine but you don’t need to go get me anything at the moment.”
“Sorry,” Keith said dropping back into the chair.
“You don’t have to keep apologizing.”
“Sor—I mean… ok,” Keith sighed, sitting back into his seat. He twisted his hand in Lotor’s grasp so he could interlock their fingers as their hands rested on the bed space between them. “I just… feel like I should be doing something.”
“You are,” Lotor said, holding their intertwined hands up and indicated to them. “This is incredibly important to my recovery.”
Keith let out a short laugh. “I meant… you know… something more than just this.” He gestured to their hands.
“I’m fine with just this,” Lotor said with a shallow shrug. Keith said nothing as he felt Lotor’s thumb rub his hand softly, as if he was the one who needed comforting. “How’s Shiro?”
“He’s good, he’s awake,” Keith said with a soft sigh. “It took him about two days to heal and wake up, but he’s ok now and out of the medbay.”
“Good,” Lotor said with a nod.
“Kolivan gave us all a few spare rooms here at the Blade headquarters for the time being, so everyone could heal up here. Though luckily I haven’t spent much time in mine because it shares a wall with Ezor and Zethrid and they’re—”
“Loud,” Lotor finished for him.
“Uncomfortably loud,” Keith grimaced. Lotor just let out a huffed laugh. He watched as thoughts developed in Lotor’s expression, his smile dropping slightly. “It’s been about four days,” Keith added quieter.
Lotor lifted his eyes up and met Keith’s gaze. “That long? I must be getting old.” Keith smiled. “A couple hundred years ago all I would have needed was a good night's rest and a bottle of vodka for the pain. Four days though…I suppose we all get old.”
“Well,” Keith began, bringing his other hand up and placing it over their joined hands on the bed. “You still look pretty good for a thousand year old man.”
Lotor gave him an indifferent shrug but nodded in agreement. He swallowed, looking down at their hands for a couple seconds before speaking. “And your friends? Are they alright as well?”
“Yeah they’re ok,” Keith said. “A bit shaken up but, you know, not injured or anything. Kolivan’s got some kind of security detail on them making sure no one's going after them. But it’s been a few days and the coast as been clear so far. Still, we can’t be too careful especially since we don’t know what Haggar knows now that we know Narti—”
He cut himself off, seeing Lotor’s face contort into a painful withered expression. Keith hadn’t meant to spring the topic up in him, it just spilled out. He’d forgotten for a second that, unlike the rest of them who’d had several days to deal with the information, it was very much still fresh to Lotor.
“Sorry,” he whispered after a moment.
“It’s not your fault,” Lotor sighed. “I’m just… I don’t know. I’m not quite sure how I feel about this yet. I think I just need time to sort it out in my head.”
“Of course,” Keith nodded.
Silence fell between them, not awkward but a bit strained. Keith didn’t want to misstep like that again. Lotor has just woken up and he was already reminding him of his friends betrayal. He thought it better to stay quiet for a little while, just letting the steady beeping of the medical equipment monitors fill the silence.
“I know I said this before,” Lotor said breaking the silence after a while. “But I’m glad you’re safe.”
Keith lifted his eyes to met his, seeing the genuine truth in them. It sent a warmth coursing through Keith that wasn’t quite sure how to react to. He remembered how Lotor had said those exact words only a few days prior, his voice strained with both pain and emotion and still breathless from their kiss. How he had leaned their foreheads together and whispered those words to him like it was the thing he most meant in the world. Just remembering it pulled at Keith’s heart.
“I don’t…” Lotor paused, his mouth opening and closing as if he wasn’t sure how to continue. “I don’t know what I would have done if you had gotten seriously hurt.”
“Lotor,” Keith began, trying desperately to squash the instinct to push away any form of attachment and affection from someone. He had no idea what to say. On one hand he wanted to tell Lotor he wasn’t worth that. But on the other hand hearing Lotor say that about him made his whole body feel ablaze in the best possible way.
He had no idea what to say. So Keith leaned up and kissed him.
He could feel Lotor smiling against his lips before kissing back. It was soft and gentle and only lasted a few seconds, but it was enough to get his feelings across. Keith pulled back slowly, letting their lips part and opening his eyes as he sat back down, seeing the image of tenderness expressed on Lotor’s face. It made him feel warm.
There was a knock on the door as it opened, taking both of their attentions off each other. Keith knew he hadn’t really recovered his expression of contentment when he saw Acxa step in hesitantly into the small room.
“Hey Keith I’m here to relieve you for a few hours so you can get some— oh, you’re awake,” Acxa said noticing Lotor sitting upright in his bed.
“I am,” Lotor nodded, a small friendly smile pulling at his lips.
“How are you feeling?” she asked, stepping in further into the room. She had small a container of take out in her hands and a bottle of soda perched on top that she carefully set down on the side table where Keith had his graveyard of half empty coffee cups.
Lotor paused, looking at her for a moment, his smile slipping only for a second. “I’m definitely awake.”
“So that bad huh?” Acxa said putting a hand on her hip. She shared a look with Keith. “He’s not good with pain.”
“Apparently,” Keith said with a slow nod. He could see in his periphery Lotor roll his eyes, but he looked more amused than upset. Keith thought perhaps he was just happy to see his friend.
Acxa turned a bit more forwards Keith. Her eyes quickly flicked between his and Lotor’s hands before looking at his face. “I don’t know if you wanna stay here a bit longer, but I can come back a little later if you want?”
“No it’s fine,” Keith said with a shake of his head. He suddenly felt sort of exposed, realizing how blatantly the two of them were holding hands. It suddenly dawned on him that they’d never really disclosed their…whatever they were. “Stay.”
“Ok,” Acxa said perching on the edge of Lotor’s bed. “Oh but before I forget, Kolivan asked me to tell you he’d like to speak with you.”
A spike of anxiety shot through Keith. He’d been expecting as much but that didn’t mean he was quite ready for it yet. “Did he say when?”
“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “He didn’t say, but whenever you’re ready I guess.”
“Yeah—I just… yeah I should probably go,” Keith sighed. Slowly he stood up stretching his legs and back, pulling his hand out of Lotor’s grasp who let go with a reluctant frown. His eyes found Lotor’s and he held his gaze for a moment. “I’ll be right back,” he said, though not moving away just yet.
“I’ll still be here,” Lotor said, as if sensing his reluctance.
“I’ll sit with him until you come back,” Axca said reassuringly, opening up her container of food. The smell of burgers and fries filled the room and Keith’s stomach instantly reminded him he’d eaten nothing but coffee and stress for a few days.
“Actually if you could bring me some food when you come back, I’m positively starving,” Lotor said, reaching for a fry from Acxa’s container. He popped the whole thing in his mouth, chewing on one side and talking from the other. “If we are where I believe we are, then there should be a diner right above us.”
“Yeah” Keith said with an affectionate smile that grew on his face beyond his control. “Yeah it’s up above ground. I’ll get you something.” He took one last look at Lotor, playfully stealing for fries from Acxa’s container, before he opened the door and stepped through.
Walking through the medbay, Keith headed out down the concrete hallway towards the direction of Kolivan’s office. He’d only been there once before, just two days ago. Overtired and overstressed he’d stomped straight up to Kolivan’s door, blocked from banging on the surface by a few guards that had chased him down. Instead he took to yelling, demanding to be allowed to see Shiro and Lotor who were unconscious at the time.
Now instead he walked unimpeded up to the door and rapped a short knock on the outside. He held his breath a second waiting to hear Kolivan’s deep voice say “come in” before he took the handle in hand and swung the door open.
Slowly, Keith stepped inside the office. Having not been paying too much attention the first time, Keith took a good look around the space. It was made from the same rough hewn concrete that all the walls in the headquarters were made from, with the same dripping crystal like lights that hung like icicles illuminating the space below in a white-purple hue that lit all the other spaces in the headquarters mixed with the fluorescent lights. The walls had the same patterns of waves and crescent moons and the Galra three slashes symbol carved in repeating designs that the main hall had only smaller and in less ornate detail.
The room wasn’t extremely large and ostentatious despite the ornamental looking lights and wall designs. At the center by the wall opposite the door sat a desk covered in stacks of papers that stood in mostly organized piles around a small bit of clear space in the center that held an open MacBook. Behind the desk Kolivan sat, reading from the screen of the laptop with his brow furrowed in concentration that smoothed as Keith stepped in.
“You wanted to speak with me?” Keith said, closing the door behind him. He took a hesitant step forward, watching Kolivan close the laptop and gestured for him to sit at one of the two chairs placed in front of his desk. Taking a few quick strides, Keith crossed the room, dropping down into one of the seats. His leg bounced anxiously as Kolivan took a moment to bring his hands together, elbows leaning on the desk in front of him.
Kolivan eyed him, thumbing at his lower lip for a moment before speaking. “I heard your friend Shiro is awake.” It came out like a question he was waiting for Keith to confirm.
“Yeah,” Keith said, his leg still bouncing. “Lotor too. Just now.”
He nodded, looking down at his desk for a second. “ Good, good.”
Keith swallowed, unsure of what to do next.
“I have just got intel that your friends—” he paused to look down at a sheet of paper on his desk, “Lance, Hunk, and Pidge—have had no further incidents threatening their safety.” He set aside the paper, refolding his hands with his arms resting on his elbows on the desk.
“That’s good,” Keith said nodding. There was a long pause as Keith’s gaze followed the lines of the symbols carved in the concrete wall just behind Kolivan’s head. He had so many questions but he wasn’t sure where or how to begin.
“I’m sure you have many questions,” Kolivan spoke, breaking the silencing and seeming to have read Keith’s mind. “But let me start off by saying I can not, for the safety of her mission, tell you your mother’s current location. It could jeopardize her position and those around her— but what I can say is she is alive.”
There was a small sense of relief that Keith felt ease off his chest. It was still frustrating knowing there was still distance and obstacles between them. But knowing she’s alive, knowing that the thing that separated them wasn’t an endless list of unknowns but the simple problem of time, of waiting to see her, that was priceless to him.
Keith could wait. He had no problem waiting. He’d waited for 24 years he could wait a little bit longer.
“Thank you,” Keith said, surprised at how low and emotional his voice sounded. He met Kolivan’s gaze head on, finding it curiously earnest.
Kolivan watched him for a moment before clearing his throat and looking away. He seemed to busy himself with adjusting some paperwork and collecting a few pens on his desk until he let out a small breath and looked back at Keith again. “Keith I suppose there’s no right way to ask this, being that your coming here was a bit unorthodox to begin with.”
Keith raised his eyebrows in question.
“Usually people don’t show up at our base demanding our attention, no less with the son of the man we are trying to defeat in tow. But,” he rubbed at his chin with the pads of his fingers, scratching at the short trimmed beard along his jaw, “your mother was never one to do things by the book either, so this feels almost right for you.” Kolivan gave him a dry, but slightly amused look Keith had no idea what to do with.
But hearing that he was like his mother sent a spark of happiness through Keith that he couldn’t explain. It was like a conformation of his existence, that he didn’t just come from this vacuous ether. That he had a mom, a real mom, with a personality and quirks and flaws— some of which he shared. He felt real .
“What are you asking?” Keith pressed, leaning forward a bit in his seat.
Kolivan eyed him a second, bringing his hands back together on the desk. “How did you feel Keith? Back in that park, with all those Galra attacking. What did that feel like for you?”
The question threw him. Keith hadn’t been expecting Kolivan to ask him anything like that. He had to think for a minute.
“Afraid,” he settled on. “And frustrated.”
“Why?”
Keith’s face scrunched up as he tried to gather the right words. Images of that night circled his thoughts as he tried to pin down an explanation. “I couldn’t… I couldn’t do anything. No matter how much I tried to fight back, I just… I wasn’t strong enough.”
Kolivan said nothing, bringing his folded hands up and resting his chin atop them, waiting for Keith to continue.
“I thought I could protect myself and my friends if I kept them in the dark about all this,” he gestured up vaguely. “But that backfired. Horribly. And then I told them everything and they were still in danger. I just feel like I’m not doing any of this right.”
The words were just bubbling over now, with no control. He wasn’t sure why here, why now, but he knew that if he stopped talking now it might never come out.
“But the worst part was when I tried, and I ran in after Shiro, I still fucked up,” he frowned, furrowing his brow. “Shiro got hurt. I got hurt. Lotor— he was almost dead. And I couldn’t do anything to stop that. To help them… nothing.” Keith turned his head down towards his lap, looking at his hands. “So yeah, I was frustrated… and afraid.”
“What are you afraid of exactly?” Kolivan asked after a few beats of silence.
Keith fisted his hands in his lap. “That I won’t ever be able to be strong enough.” He swallowed thickly, keeping his gaze down away from Kolivan. “When that Galra snatched me up out of thin air like I was nothing… I’d never felt so powerless. I hated it. And I never want to feel like that again.”
He finally brought his gaze up, catching the understanding expression on Kolivan’s face. There was something about his calm, stoic quietness that put Keith at ease.
“Well Keith,” Kolivan began, unclasping and clasping his hands, “we here at the Blade of Marmora can provide means for you to never have to feel powerless again.”
The words took a minute to sink in. “You… You want me to train here? Join the Blade of Marmora?”
“The choice is yours,” Kolivan said, sitting back in his chair. “I’m by no means forcing you, and it’s your decision to make.” He paused, his eyes searching Keith’s face. “Take some time. Think about it. Come to me when you’re ready.”
Keith started nodding before he spoke. “I will. Thank you.”
He got up out of the chair, feeling a bit light headed and a lot tired. There was a lot to think about and he wasn’t even sure he could process it all yet. As he left the office the only clear thought in his mind was that he wanted to see Lotor again.
Lotor
Lotor stood in the center of his library, running his good hand through his hair and surveying he disaster around him. Though he’d left in a hurried when he cleared out of his apartment over a week ago, he hadn’t left it like this. Shelves and drawers had been overturned, books and papers tossed every which way, whole pieces of furniture moved and displaced.
There was a distinct sense of violation he felt while staring at the mess of his things, touched by unknown assailants. It gathered in the back of his throat and dripped down his spine, pooling in a sickening puddle of vulnerability and discomfort that was annoyingly familiar. Seeing all his books and notes he’d so lovingly preserved treated with such apathy and carelessness made it all the worse.
Not only had someone broken in to his home and ransacked it, but they destroyed his things. That felt cruel. More malicious than just a burglary; this was done to hurt him, personally. And he hated to admit it worked.
“Lotor?” Keith’s voice said coming from the hallway beyond the open library door, drawing closer with each word. “Hey I just checked the living room and nothing seems to be missing but we— oh… ” He paused in the doorway, standing right at the edge of the disaster.
“Sendak’s people must have done this,” Lotor said, swallowing thickly. He rolled his shoulder, both to relieve some of his angry tension and the discomfort from the sling his arm was currently in. It didn’t help.
He could hear the careful crunch of papers as Keith made his way over to his side, trying hard not to step on anything. “Were they looking for something or was this just opportunistic destruction?”
A soft hand touched the small of his back and he felt some of his tension leave him. Lotor cleared his throat before speaking, turning his head towards Keith. “I don’t know. It could be either. I would have to go through all of this to make sure, which… could take weeks…”
“We’ll get through it,” Keith said giving him a small nod, his hand rubbing almost imperceptibly at his back. “I’ll help.”
Keith looked up at him with such a sure expression Lotor almost forgot how angry and upset he was. But the taste of discomfort and vulnerability still was bitter on his tongue and he could only nod back. Still, Keith gave him a half smile.
“I’ll tell the blade guards outside to pack all this up too,” Keith said taking back his hand and dropping it to his side. Lotor immediately missed the touch. “We’ll take it back to headquarters and go through everything there. It’s just not safe for us to be here for too long. They’ll be expecting us to come back.”
“I know,” Lotor sighed, tucking a lock of hair behind his ear.
Despite being mostly healed, save for his still broken arm, he felt exhausted and despondent. The healing process had been slow and arduous, taking extreme amounts of energy and strain from him, more than he’d expected. Even with the blood the Blade eventually provided for him, he wasn’t healed back up to full strength, spending most of his power on mending his broken ribs and punctured lung and leaving his arm broken and in pain.
Though the one bit of light in this valley of darkness was Keith. Seeing him safe and alive was enough to remind him why he’d done what he’d done, and that he would have made the same choices again. In the past few days as he’d healed in the medbay of the Blade’s headquarters, Keith had not left his side for a moment, sitting at his bedside for days on end.
He wished he could express how much he appreciated it, how much it meant to him that Keith cared enough about him to worry about him and want to be there with him. But he found in all his extensive vocabulary, the words never came. He only hoped Keith could understand by his actions.
“Come,” Keith said, interrupting his thoughts. “Let’s go pack all your clothes and stuff.”
He nodded but didn’t move, still staring out at all the debris and mess. Everything. Years of collecting and note taking and care organization, discarded and tossed like garbage. He was angry.
“Lotor, I know this sucks and I’m sorr—… I wish it hadn’t happened… but this isn’t over ok? We’re gonna regroup, come up with a new plan, fight back… And with The Blade… who knows, maybe this could all end soon.”
“Yeah,” Lotor said thickly, his voice like syrup in his mouth. “Maybe.”
There was a long pause as Lotor stared blankly at the empty shelves devoid of their contents. It wasn’t until he heard the telltale wet drop of a tear hitting a piece of paper on the ground that he realized he was crying. He wasn’t even sure what for. It could have been from pain, or trauma, or frustration, or just the idea of the sheer massive undertaking of their goals. But either way, he didn’t want Keith to see, and so he quickly wiped his eyes with the palm of his good hand, making sure he was free of tears before turning around to face him.
Keith was looking up at him with such an expression of worry and affection that Lotor almost couldn’t meet it head on. Instead he reached out his hand, taking a step forward in the mess on the floor and grasping Keith’s outstretched hand. Threading their fingers together, Lotor brought their hands to his side as he bent down and pressed a hard, quick kiss to Keith’s forehead.
Tilting his face up to see him, Keith gave him a soft smile that Lotor tried his best to return. He could feel his want to be affectionate with him starting to overtake the melancholy sitting heavy in his chest. Though, not completely yet.
They moved to his bedroom, crossing Acxa in the hallway who was helping a Blade member put up warding runes up on the apartment entrance. They couldn’t risk some opportunistic thief or especially another Galra coming back here again. Though seeing Acxa do her best to transcribe guarding symbols and standy by as the druidic Blade member put up the magic, Lotor felt a pang in his chest when he thought of Narti. He still hadn’t really dealt with that, and he wasn’t sure he was planning on starting soon. It was just another thing to put aside.
Once in his room, the two of them slowly packed some of Lotor’s clothes into suitcases, Keith doing most of the packing as Lotor stood by accommodating his things with his one good hand. It was quiet work, the two of them folding and walking back and forth to the drawer and closet in relative silence. Occasionally Keith would hold up an item of clothing as if to ask if it should be packed and Lotor would give his opinion.
If he wanted to be honest part of him didn’t even want to be there doing this. He would have just bought a whole new wardrobe just to leave the apartment at that very moment. He was feeling claustrophobic and uncomfortable, a feeling he kept squashing down though it kept rising up to the surface like a slow rolling boil. Lotor didn’t want Keith to see him like this, cold and unlike himself. But he couldn’t shake himself out of it.
“I’m gonna take this stuff down to the car,” Keith said once everything was packed.
Lotor stood, looking at the now empty drawers feeling slightly removed from the situation. As if it was happening to someone else and he was just watching. Memories of throwing all he owned into a bag and fleeing filled his mind. The same terrified actions again and again, different times and places but all the same in the end. Just another place he was leaving because things became unsafe.
The actions were so familiar in the worst way. Countless times his father’s chokehold on him had forced him to upend his life and run. It was different when it had been years of lonesome traveling, not taking in any strays or making any real connections with anyone. But now… he had his friends, he had Acxa, he had Keith.
Keith. His mind pulled out that one word and laid before him like a banner. A one point list of everything he had to gain, and lose. It was reason enough for him to leave.
“Lotor?” Keith said again after Lotor had not responded. “Is everything… are you alright?”
No. “Yes I’m fine,” Lotor sighed, turning around. He picked up one of the bags in his non-broken hand and gestured with his chin towards the door. “Let’s go.”
Keith gave him a sort of half smile, half sympathetic look as they walked out towards the elevator doors. Lotor could feel his eyes searching his face, but he tried his best to control his emotions so Keith wouldn’t see how poorly he was handling this.
In front of doors Acxa sood with the Blade guard that had accompanied them. Glowing somewhat unconfident lines, gleamed streaks of violet runes that they’d finished casting to ward the apartment. They stood brightly against the sleek shine of the metal doors, a visage of old magic in their modern life.
“Is that everything?” Acxa asked, taking the bag from Lotor’s hand.
“Yes,” he nodded, still looking at the runes.
“We should head out now,” Keith said. “Sun’s gonna come back up soon and we still gotta head back up to The Bronx to get back the portal before sunrise. We’ll send some Blades up to pack all your books and notes and things.”
“You all start down,” Lotor said taking a slight step back as the rest of them turned for the elevator. “I'll meet you there in a minute.” The thought that they were all going to be locked in a car for an hour and then sent into the concrete underground West Virginian headquarters of the Blade of Marmora with no other break in between suddenly felt a bit stifling. He just needed a moment alone.
They all looked at him curiously. “Do you want me to wait here for you?” Keith offered.
“No it’s ok,” Lotor said, touching his arm lightly as the bell rung for the arrival of the elevator. “I’m just gonna double check some things, maybe grab a book from that mess.”
Keith looked understanding though unsure, yet he didn’t press any further. Lotor waited until the three of them loaded up into the elevator before walking back to the library.
With his hand pressed flat on the wood of the door, Lotor carefully pushed it open a bit more. Leaning across himself to flick on the light on the wall, the damage of the room came into full view under the soft warm yellow lamp lights. He stood there a moment, taking in the disarray, eyes drifting from broken book to ripped pages to scattered notes.
Frustration and that feeling of having his personal space impeded on crawled up his throat, choking him from the inside. It was a sort of sticky feeling, knowing someone had been in his home, touching his things, destroy his books and notes. One that clung tighter the more he struggled against it.
Lotor took a few steps forward, clearing some floor space with the point of his shoe so as to not step on anything too important. He bent down, picking up a couple of books with his good hand, closing the covers and lightly tossing them towards the sofa. At first it was just a handful until he found he’d gone and picked up several dozen books, falling into his habit of cleaning as a way to deal.
He almost laughed at himself for being so odd when he heard the sound of a paper slip out between the pages of the book he’d just picked up and fall back onto the floor in front of him. Lotor blinked, looking from the half sized envelope sitting blankly on the floor to the book in his hands. It wasn’t a book he’d picked up recently, or even used in his investigating in the past month. The cover was a sort of dull brown that held no visual interest save for the almost decorative font of an equally boring title that read “Ancient Maps and Routes: An Atlas of the Columbian Era Cartography Work of the Western Hemisphere” in embossed faded gold lettering.
Lotor’s attention turned from the book to the envelope on the ground. Tossing the book over to the sofa, Lotor bent back down and picked the envelope up, surprised to see his name appear in scratchy, quick handwriting as soon as his fingers touched the paper. Turning it over in hand, he took a moment's hesitation before carefully peeling back the flap and pulling out a small torn note that had been hastily stuffed inside.
His eyes read the half dozen words almost too quickly to comprehend, and then again and again until their shapes began to take meaning before his eyes. More curious that the words was the fact that he recognized the handwriting as Narti’s, causing his stomach to drop as the meaning began to sunk in. Stuffing the note into his pocket, Lotor left the room, heading back to the elevator, those words running through his mind.
Throk’s dead.
she knows.
watch out.