Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

I love you. I love you. I love you.

The words circled in Jasper’s head over and over and she gritted her teeth. Why hadn’t she just said it? Pearl was gone and she was left at the top of her tower alone, the words suck on her tongue like peanut butter. She growled in frustration when her throat tightened and threw a wad of blankets against the wall.

That had been happening a lot since she’d started talking to Pearl. Somehow she always managed to draw things out of Jasper, to dig up her feelings, loosen her lips, make her say things she would hardly admit to herself. So why this once, this one time she wanted to tell her something more than anything, she couldn’t?

Jasper sulked where she sat, arms crossed, angry at herself and still groggy with sleep. As time passed, her sleepiness and frustration ebbed and her mind wandered to her night spent with Pearl instead. Heat rose to her cheeks as she remembered all the things Pearl did, everything she saw and heard and touched.

Jasper hardly touched herself in general, but she hadn’t been touched there in at least five thousand years. Vague memories lingered of exploring herself when she was new and the aftermath of getting caught, but none of that had been anything like what Pearl did. She’d never even seen herself, not fully out. After a while she had almost wondered if she could evert at all, not that it mattered at the time.

The special muscles beneath her abdominals were a little sore since they’d never been used before. She touched her stomach where they ached and the image of Pearl’s hands over hers, resting on top of the bulge in Pearl’s stomach came to the front of her mind.

Being inside Pearl was an experience unlike anything Jasper had ever felt before. Physically it was dizzying, like being squeezed and pulled in multiple directions at once. Latent instincts reared up in her to grab, hold, bite, rut, thrust, harder, deeper.

But more than that Jasper remembered emotions even stronger than the physical instinct that had pulsed through her veins. Raw noises torn from her throat tried to say everything at once without any way to form coherent words. Feelings blended together and were completely distinct at the same time—possessiveness, surrender, power, vulnerability, love.

Why hadn’t she said it?

She wondered if Pearl had felt the same way. She wondered if Pearl would feel that way if she was inside Jasper. The thought sent an excited pang between Jasper’s legs and the back of her neck got hot. Could Pearl even evert? Well of course she could, every gem could, but would she want to? Would it feel good for her to be with Jasper like that?

Possibilities spun in Jasper’s head and her hand trailed lower. Would it feel good for Pearl? She looked past her chest and stomach and imagined Pearl’s hips there instead of empty space. Hesitant fingers slid forward and tucked into the crux of her thighs.

Pearl was so small and Jasper was so big, would it be enough? She spread herself open with two fingers and pressed one to her entrance, a little slick gathered there already. Squeezing something big into a smaller space was very different from something smaller fitting into a bigger space. What if Jasper was too big? The tip of her finger just barely pressed in, mindful not to scratch herself with claws. She braced herself and slid in slow, as far as her finger could reach.

She wasn’t sure what she’d expected, but it wasn’t particularly exciting. Nothing like when Pearl’s fingers were in her. No sparks, no contracting muscles, no fire in her belly. She was hot inside though, even compared to her own warm fingers. Smooth and silky like Pearl was, too. That was nice. She curled her finger up and a surprised noise tumbled out at the little spike of pleasure. Oh. Her inner walls contracted around her finger when she rubbed that spot again. There it was.

There was no doubt Jasper could take much more, but she noted with great satisfaction that she did involuntarily squeeze around what was inside. She felt silly for ever doubting her body would react the same as any gem’s, but knowing the answer for certain made her feel better anyway.

Jasper rubbed her finger over the little rough spot once more, then again, the feeling a bit addictive. She leaned forward and rested her head on her other arm. A part of her remembered the shame from when she got in trouble for doing something similar so many years ago. Her lips parted in a shaky huff as she found a steady pace.

It wasn’t back then, she wasn’t under Homeworld’s rule anymore. Jasper withdrew her finger and moved to her clitoris instead, a line of slick dragged up with it. She was on Earth and free, she was allowed to try new things. She rubbed in hasty circles and rocked her hips back and forth, imagining Pearl’s hands at her waist guiding her to meet gentle thrusts. Her fingers stuttered to a halt and she bit her arm to muffle a quiet moan as her orgasm washed over her.

When it was over, Jasper laid down and stretched out as her body settled, her mind pleasantly empty. Of course it had been much better with Pearl the night before, but there were no angry agates bursting in to scream at her either. She decided she liked it and would continue to indulge as she pleased.

Jasper sat back up and wiped her finger on the corner of a blanket with a sigh. Fantasies were one thing, but she didn’t know if Pearl would actually want to evert with her. If she’d wanted to touch Jasper like she had last night, surely she would, right? Of course she would, Jasper thought. She couldn’t help but doubt herself a little.

She shook her head, stood up, and reformed her uniform with a burst of light energy. It was the same uniform she’d always worn, but with no diamond at her chest. The blank space sometimes made her feel isolated, farther away from belonging than ever before, but it felt much worse to wear yellow or pink. She couldn’t wear a symbol of loyalty to authorities that shaped her life with lies stacked higher than Homeworld itself.

Jasper tromped down the spiral stairs to the main house and almost kneed Peridot square in the face when she made a final leap off the bottom stair. Peridot screeched and smacked Jasper’s leg, and Jasper hopped out of the way just in time for Peridot to fall in a heap on the floor.

“Hey, watch it!”

“Uh- gotta go. Garnet wants me to do a thing with her and she gets weird when I show up late.” Jasper hurried to the door in a couple of strides. “Garden stuff later?”

“You better,” Peridot warned, pointing an accusatory finger. “The soil’s pH and salinity is unbalanced because someone keeps-”

“-okay, will do, bye-”

“-hey! This is your fault, you-”

Jasper dashed out the door, ran to the edge of the cliff, and jumped over the fence to the beach below. She knew exactly why the dirt was wrong and she did not want to have to explain why sand and sea salt kept getting tracked into the garden. Another time.

A cloud of sand surged into the air upon impact and Jasper gave her head a good shake to make sure none was stuck in her hair. She walked a path along the farthest edge from the water and spared a reluctant glance towards the ocean. An uneasy chill settled in the pit of her stomach.

It had been long enough. It shouldn’t bother her anymore. She clenched her jaw, forced her eyes forward, and turned her back to the sea to head up the stairs.

“–even realized what happened since it wasn’t anything like, well...” Pearl’s voice came through the screen door, hushed.

“She might not have.” It was Garnet’s voice this time. “When I first did it wasn’t on purpose. You remember, we just crashed into each other and–” her voice faded again and Jasper couldn’t hear anything more than quiet mumbles.

She decided to make her presence known and let her steps fall heavy as she approached and opened the screen door.

“Okay, I’m here,” Jasper said as she ducked under the door frame and squeezed inside.

There was a tense moment of silence as Garnet and Pearl stared and Jasper stared back. Garnet was impossible to read as ever, but Pearl looked at her with shining eyes and a brilliant turquoise blush. A pink pastry box sat on the counter, still sealed with a sticker, and no one else was in sight.

“I- I have to go, you two have fun!” Pearl blurted out before she made a break for the temple door.

When she turned to flee, Jasper noticed massive bruises that covered the side of Pearl’s neck and traveled down her shirt collar. She felt her own face flush upon the realization that those were from her teeth. There was no way Garnet hadn’t seen them.

Pearl was gone and then it was just the two of them. Garnet kept her arms crossed and stared at Jasper, wordless.

“Uh,” Jasper said.

Because what else could she say? Garnet had a way of just knowing things as it was, but the evidence was right there in front of her, dark blue and green where ivory should be. It wasn’t as if Jasper was ashamed to be with Pearl, but she felt like she was constantly on thin ice with all of them already. Would they think she was manipulating Pearl? Pushing her into things? Being aggressive and rough with her? Even if she would never be pushy about those types of things, they don’t know that. She knew what her reputation was like and those bruises did not help her case.

Garnet approached. Jasper took a step back. Garnet paused, put a hand on her hip, and tilted her head. There was another stretch of silence that dragged on far too long. The hairs on the back of Jasper’s neck prickled as Garnet watched her through shades that revealed nothing but her own reflection. She hated that visor.

“I thought we could do some meditation at the Sky Arena today,” Garnet finally said.

“Yeah, that, uh- sure. Sounds good.”

Garnet’s lips quirked up and Jasper couldn’t tell if it was a friendly smile or a condescending smirk. That damn visor.

Their warp to the arena was quiet, but light and air wooshing past filled the silence and helped cool Jasper’s overheated face. She’d visited the arena once before, but it had been at night with Amethyst when she’d challenged her to a fight seemingly out of nowhere. Jasper had of course refused, and it had ended up in a pretty good talk between the two of them. She hoped whatever happened with Garnet this afternoon would turn out as well as that night had, but she wasn’t sure they could just scream at each other until things settled down like she could with Amethyst.

When they arrived, Jasper looked up and her stomach twisted. Right in front of her was the old Diamond Authority symbol: White, Blue, Yellow, and of course, Pink. She hadn’t noticed it the first time she’d arrived in the dark and Amethyst had rushed her to the battle floor. She might have been happy to see it before she knew the truth, but now she just felt uncomfortable.

They moved past the old insignia and down the steps of the arena. Jasper clenched her fists and dug her nails into her palms to try and force her nerves down. Fighting was the only thing she’d known before her new life on Earth began. It was straightforward and something she knew she was great at, but it was not something the Crystal Gems often did to bond. All the new things they wanted her to try were foreign and confusing and she never felt like she did any of it quite right. There was a lot of pressure with Garnet especially, who she knew was watching her every move, analyzing, deciding things about her after everything she did, right or wrong.

Garnet sat cross-legged in the middle of the arena floor and arranged her hands into a loose circle shape. Jasper had tried meditation with Garnet once before, but she’d gotten antsy and had left feeling irritated and unaccomplished. Still, she sat several feet in front of Garnet and mirrored her pose as best she could.

Jasper couldn’t tell if Garnet had her eyes closed, was staring at her, or looking somewhere else entirely. Once again, she was only met with her own reflection, looking awkward and out of place. She shifted her gaze to the floor and stared at the broken bits of stone and dirt stuck in the tiles’ grout.

“You’re uncomfortable,” Garnet stated.

A flash of anger overpowered Jasper’s anxiety. She was trying, couldn’t Garnet see that?

“Yes,” she growled through her teeth. “How am I supposed to feel comfortable when I can’t even tell where you’re looking?”

“Oh.” There was a small flicker of light on the floor in front of Jasper. “You could have told me. Usually three eyes makes people more uncomfortable than glasses.”

Jasper looked up to see Garnet looking back at her, no reflective shield over her eyes. Blue, red, purple. There was no malice in her eyes. She actually looked a bit apologetic.

“Uh. Didn’t know. I just figured they weren’t an option,” Jasper said.

Garnet nodded and her gaze wandered around the arena. Jasper let her eyes follow Garnet’s and she surveyed the space herself. Tall pillars with statues of old warriors stationed in front of them were at each of the corners not yet destroyed. Rows of benches stretched into the sky and surrounded what was left of the floor, worn from where gems once sat to watch other gems like Jasper fight.

Fluffy, pale clouds leisurely floated by, unaffected by the fearsome battles of the past once fought there. It was odd, the stadium being so quiet and calm when she could picture exactly what it would’ve been like had she been one of the gladiators of this arena during its glory days.

“Earth is funny like that,” Garnet said.

Jasper started and looked back at Garnet. She still had her head turned towards the clouds.

“What?”

“Things made for war and fighting can become something beautiful and peaceful.”

Jasper narrowed her eyes. “But it still exists for the same reason. Just because it is how it is now doesn't change its real purpose.”

“Not necessarily,” she replied. “It's purpose can be whatever it’s being used for in the moment. Right now, this arena’s purpose is for meditation and relaxation. It's past doesn't define what it can be in the future.”

Jasper frowned. She felt like she was supposed to be understanding something she wasn't. Why did Garnet always have to be so cryptic?

“So are we gonna start with the thing or what?” Jasper asked, holding up her loosely folded hands.

Garnet turned back to her and smiled. “Yes, we can start ‘the thing’. First, close your eyes.”

Jasper normally would have been hesitant to, but with the visor gone she saw Garnet close her own eyes first. Jasper nodded and followed suit.

“Now breathe in, slow. Fill your lungs with air completely, hold it for a moment, then breathe out steady from your stomach until it's all gone.”

Jasper did not. She kept her lips sealed and heard Garnet follow her own instructions. She wouldn't know the difference anyway, what did it matter?

She waited quietly for the next instruction, but it didn't come.

“Jasper,” Garnet said sternly.

“What? I'm focusing.”

“You're also not breathing like I asked you to.”

“How would you know?”

“Because you don't have a nose and I can hear you're not breathing through your mouth.”

Jasper cracked an eye open to peek at her. Garnet still had her eyes closed. Jasper scowled and closed her own eyes again.

“Fine, okay,” she grumbled.

She let her jaw go slack, lips parted, and tried breathing in. An unexpected flutter of fear gripped her and her breath hitched. She huffed out quickly to try again, this time slower, steadier. Still, halfway through her breath, panic took hold and her lungs shuddered, her throat grew tight. She clamped her mouth shut and held the air in.

Jasper was horrified. She couldn't even breathe right. Garnet probably thought she was pathetic, embarrassing, laughable—

“You're doing good, Jasper, just relax,” Garnet said, voice low and soothing.

Jasper bit the inside of her cheek and frowned harder. Doing good? What a joke.

“Tell me what's going through your mind right now.”

“I can't even breathe right,” she spat.

“That's not true,” Garnet replied gently.

Jasper laughed, high and strained. “Oh, really? So that sounded normal just now.”

“No, not just now. But you breathe fine around Pearl.” Jasper's eyes flew open and Garnet calmly continued. “Sometimes difficult things are easier to manage when we’re around someone we feel safe with.”

Jasper didn't know what Garnet was trying to get at, but she’d had a feeling Pearl was going to come up no matter how much she wanted to avoid it.

“Hey, I know it looked really bad, but I-”

Garnet held up a hand to stop her and finally all three eyes opened again. “Pearl is her own gem and can handle herself just fine, I'm not worried about that. We can talk as much or little as you want about those things. Today I just want to help you in the ways I know how.”

Jasper paused. Help? Since when did Garnet want to help her? And with what?

“I don’t understand. Aren’t you just taking your turn to keep an eye on me? Make sure I don’t go ballistic and re-corrupt or something?”

Garnet’s eyes widened and her composed posture fell. “W- of course not, that’s never been the case. I haven’t been keeping track of you, I’ve just been trying to get to know you and help you readjust. I already know you’re not going to hurt anyone.”

Jasper’s face felt warm again. She still didn’t always know how to respond to others expressing concern or affection for her. “Right, the future vision, of course you knew that,” she muttered.

“No, not because of future vision. Because I know that you’re a very different gem than you were seven months ago,” Garnet said, folding her arms. “I know how different Earth is from Homeworld and how challenging it is to learn new things. I can see you’re making an effort, but sometimes the way you see yourself gets in the way of you seeing how others really feel about you.”

Jasper picked at the leg of her uniform and swallowed. She felt caught, exposed.

“Yeah, and a visor that’s basically a mirror,” she retorted. As soon as the words left her mouth she realized the parallel between hating the visor and what Garnet just said.

Garnet gave her a knowing smile and Jasper rolled her eyes.

“Ugh, fine, I get it. But how is dragging me here to point out what's wrong with me ‘helping’?” Jasper crossed her own arms defensively.

“Acknowledging that something is a struggle is the first part of learning how to handle it.” Garnet shifted back into her meditation pose. “We don't have to get into anything complicated right now, but breathing exercises are a good way to handle stress and upset feelings in general. I noticed you only breathe sometimes, so I wanted to show you how it can help when things are difficult.”

Jasper thought for a moment. She felt like she was in good control of her emotions, but then she remembered her deep discomfort looking at the sea and an old diamond insignia. Maybe she should take Garnet’s advice. And she was still trying to learn when to accept help. This was an obvious enough start, even if it might bruise her pride a bit.

She moved back into their meditation position and took the initiative to close her eyes first. “Okay.”

“Okay,” Garnet confirmed. Jasper could hear a little smile in her voice. “Whenever you're ready, try to join my breathing. I’ll inhale four counts, hold four counts, and exhale eight. You don't have to match me exactly, just do what's comfortable.”

Quiet settled again. Jasper listened to Garnet’s breathing and counted in her head. 4, 4, 8... 4, 4, 8... She let her jaw relax and her lips part. 4, 4, 8... This time.

1, 2, 3—

Her lungs froze up and her insides felt like ice. She exhaled in one quick gust and closed her mouth again, biting her lip hard. Why was this so hard for her?

“That was good, you got one more count than before,” Garnet said. “Tell me what you felt on three.”

“Cold. They just stop, I can't get anymore in,” she mumbled.

“Cold,” Garnet repeated. She was quiet for another moment, then, “I’d like to try something if you're okay with me touching you.”

“Uh,” Jasper frowned but kept her eyes closed. She definitely felt weird about it since they never touched except during spars, but more than that she was determined not to give up. “Okay.”

She heard Garnet shuffle closer and her heart started to pound. What did Garnet want to do? What if it was awkward or made her feel worse? What if she liked it in a way she didn't want to? Jasper could sense she was close now, but still didn't feel anything yet.

Then her hands were gently taken out of their circle shape and guided to her knees, facing up. Garnet placed each of her own hands over Jasper’s, distinct square and triangle facets pressing into her palms. They were surprisingly warm, much warmer than Jasper’s hands.

“I’m going to start my breathing again. This time when you try to join in, if you start to feel cold, focus on the warmth I'm giving your hands from mine,” Garnet said.

And so she started her breathing once more. Jasper counted in her head like last time too, but now there was an almost tingly heat seeping into her hands, down her fingers and up her wrists. It wasn't awkward like she’d feared and she did like it, but not in a scary way. She felt more relaxed as she listened and stayed still. 4, 4, 8... 4, 4, 8...

By the fifth breath she felt ready to try again. 1, 2- a spike of fear, ice in her belly, her breath hitched. She remembered what Garnet said and tried to think about her hands. She let the warmth settle into her, drape over her like a blanket, come to the front of her senses and- stuttering 3, steady 4, hold four, exhale eight.

Jasper felt giddy; she’d finally done it, she didn't know why it was so different but for some reason it worked. She wanted to get up and shout her victory to the empty arena, but Garnet’s hands pressed firm against hers kept her in place.

“Very good, Jasper. Keep it going. Find your own pace,” she encouraged.

So Jasper did. After a few cycles, she found her own rhythm that felt more like 7, 5, 10. Then Garnet eventually matched her breathing. Jasper felt herself start to float into an almost dream-like state. It was comfortable but strange; time and the physical world faded around her.

A smooth and familiar voice called to her, but it wasn't Garnet.

“Jasper… try to open your eyes,” it said.

Jasper hesitated. She wasn't quite ready to go back yet—she’d just managed to get the breathing down. Another familiar voice came with the second, this one choppier.

“Don't worry, we’re not stopping yet,” that one said.

Jasper cracked her eyes open and looked straight ahead. The arena was dark like it looked at night, except the colors weren’t quite right for Earth’s night sky. Garnet wasn’t there anymore, but she still felt warm pressure on her hands. She looked down and saw Ruby and Sapphire sitting in front of her instead, but they also did not have their hands on Jasper’s. They seemed to be in a bizzare version of the arena where hazy pinks and greens swirled in the sky and wispy orange and yellow clouds floated past.

“Are we fused?” Jasper asked. She felt like she should be afraid, like she should be trying to get away, but for some reason she was completely calm.

“No,” Sapphire said. “This is something Garnet is able to do through meditation practices with others. It’s a mental connection similar to what gems share during fusion, but without the physical aspect.”

Sapphire had her hands folded in her lap and there were fluttering shapes of light resting on her dress. They almost looked like moths or butterflies. Ruby sat with her legs stuck out, leaned back on her arms, and one of the lights was in her hair. Jasper looked down at herself and noticed they were on her, too, mostly resting on her wrists and chest. Many more flitted around her face, in her hair, near her feet, never quite landing.

She furrowed her brow and tried to shake them off. Some flapped away for a moment, then settled right back where they started. They made her uneasy.

“What are these?” she asked. “Why are there so many stuck on me?”

“Well, its kinda like stuff that bugs you,” Ruby said.

“Stress, anxiety, fears,” Sapphire supplied. “Things that can feel overwhelming and impossible to deal with.”

Jasper shook her head and shifted nervously. “Does that mean you can see what they are?”

“No, not unless you decide to show us,” Sapphire said.

“Yeah, we wouldn’t spy on your thoughts,” Ruby chuckled. “That would be so rude!”

Jasper looked at the ones on her wrists and chest. Under their shells of light, they churned in sickening shades of green. She knew what they were. She knew and she was afraid of what she might find if she looked further into them.

A different one landed in the center of all three of them. When Jasper looked into it, she saw purple and a streak of orange.

“Sorry,” she said suddenly. Ruby and Sapphire both tilted their heads in confusion. “Sorry for separating Garnet, I mean. When I first made it to Earth.”

The more Jasper learned on Earth, the more she understood Garnet better—especially after getting wrapped up in such intense feelings for another gem herself. She would be devastated to be separated from Pearl now and they hadn’t even fused. She couldn’t imagine how hard it must have been for Ruby and Sapphire.

They looked at each other, smiled, then looked back at Jasper.

“Thank you. That means a lot,” Sapphire said.

The little butterfly between them lifted off and disappeared into the sky. Jasper was relieved to see it go. Unfortunately, she could not say the same about the ones that still laid heavy on her wrists.

“I don’t know if I want to talk about these ones,” she said.

“That’s okay,” Ruby said, resting her chin on a hand. “You don’t have to say everything about it, but do you think that’s what was making it hard to breathe?”

Jasper grimaced at the ones on her chest, the same ugly green as the ones on her wrists. “Yes.”

“But being with Pearl kinda makes you forget about them?”

“... Yeah.” Jasper swallowed.

Sapphire hummed thoughtfully. “Breathing can help ease stress and anxiety, but it is a source of stress for you at the same time.”

“Once I got it it did help, though,” Jasper said. It was frustrating having something helpful feel out of reach for her. “I should be able to just do it, I know I’m not gonna drown if I-” she stopped cold. She’d said too much. She stuttered a few times and butterflies began to swarm around her head in a frenzy. It was getting harder to see, everything was turning green and her head spun. “I- it’s not a big-” she was starting to panic, her breath coming shallow and quick, ice creeping up inside.

“Jasper- Jasper, hey-”

“You’re okay, we’re-”

Their voices were overwhelmed by frantic wingbeats and a single drop of pitch-dark liquid fell on the top of her head amidst the blinding light that spiraled around her. It slid down her scalp, over her forehead, along the edge her gem, and fell.

Her throat tightened and she made a choked noise before clenching her teeth together. She squeezed her eyes shut and went to lift her arms to cover her head, but something stopped her.

She was not stuck or restrained, but a firm, gentle pressure urged her to keep her hands there. A smooth triangle in her left hand, a square in her right. They warmed her palms and Jasper tried to focus on them again. The rushing in her ears quieted.

“Easy...” It was Garnet’s voice again.

Jasper unclenched her jaw and shakily released what air was left in her lungs, then closed her mouth again.

“You’re in the arena with me, Garnet.”

She didn’t want to open her eyes, even though Garnet said she was back. Her heart still raced and her hands felt clammy and gross. Panic subsided and was replaced with a prickling discomfort. She didn’t want to be touching anymore, but she didn’t want to move either.

“You know, don’t you?” Jasper asked, voice hoarse. She was glad when Garnet removed her hands and scooted back.

“I suspected, even before that,” Garnet said. “I am a permanent fusion by my own choice, for my own reasons. For love. I can’t imagine… I didn’t even know it was possible to hold someone against their will. It’s a terrifying thought and I have no doubt it was much more terrifying to experience. That kind of trauma doesn't just go away.”

Jasper balled her hands into fists and finally cracked her eyes open to look at Garnet. She was, indeed, back in the arena: sun shining, bright blue sky, fluffy white clouds. The sympathy in Garnet’s eyes made her feel sick.

“I am not weak,” she gritted out. “I don't want your pity.”

“I know you’re not weak and I don’t pity you,” Garnet said. “I admire your strength. I’m impressed by your efforts to trust again. I know it’s not easy. Only a truly strong gem can accept help from others and put herself forward in spite of her fears. I just want to support you with my companionship and the knowledge I have to offer.”

Jasper eyed Garnet cautiously, stewing on what she said. Only a truly strong gem can accept help. It sounded like a load of garbage, but at the same time so had a lot of things she first learned on Earth.

“Doesn’t accepting help just prove that you’re weak? How can someone be strong if they’re revealing all their weaknesses?” she asked.

“Because they have the bravery to admit when something isn’t working and needs to change. Accepting help means you’re learning something new and growing from it, which makes you even stronger than you were before.”

“But what if-” Jasper paused. She felt like she was admitting weakness already, and she hated it. “... What if when you ask for help someone uses it against you? Then you’re the fool for putting yourself in that place.”

“Trust is never foolish, it’s courageous. What someone else does with your trust doesn’t say anything about you, it only reflects on the gem who respects or betrays it.”

It almost made sense the way Garnet put it, but Jasper still couldn’t truly believe it. Steven knew more about what happened to her than any of the other gems and he mostly understood, but she figured everyone else would consider it well deserved. A punishment for her mistakes, retribution for her wrongdoings, and completely justified for her being stupid enough to hold out her hand in the first place. She never even thought Pearl would have thought different if it weren't for the passionate words that had rattled Jasper the previous night. You deserved so much better.

Everything was confusing and frustrating and Jasper felt like once again, what she was being told now was the opposite of everything she’d been taught her whole life. She wanted it to be true, but at the same time every fiber of her being fought it. Acknowledging weakness on Homeworld meant showing the limit of your use. Admitting failure meant an agate’s whip splitting open your skin. On Homeworld, you do not learn and grow; you do it right the first time or you accept the punishment for your shortcomings. There’s no questions, the treatment you got was a direct consequence of your actions. The possibility that everything that had hurt might not have been justified had Jasper reeling. She didn’t like to think about what that meant.

“Why is everything so complicated with you Crystal Gems?” she grumbled.

Garnet chuckled and rested her head in a hand. “We’ve had a lot of time to figure things out. Listen, we don’t have to continue from before, but there are two more things.”

Jasper was irritated again. She’d had enough for one day. “What?”

“First, keep practicing the breathing exercises, even if it’s once in a while by yourself or with Pearl. Second,” she paused and her expression went serious. “I never spent time with you because I didn’t trust you. I know we haven’t had the smoothest relationship, so I’m sorry I didn’t make my intentions clear. I want to help and I want to be on good terms with you.”

Jasper raised her eyebrows. She hadn't expected an apology from anyone for anything ever, she didn't even think there was something for Garnet to apologize for in the first place.

“It’s, uh. S’fine.”

“Thank you. And I'm glad about Pearl, too.”

“You are?” Jasper asked, surprised. “Why?”

“She was stuck on Rose for a long time. It's good to see her excited about someone again, but not as an unhealthy obsession. She seems happy.”

“Even though I- the-” Jasper touched her fingers to the side of her neck.

Garnet laughed and braced a hand on her knee. “Oh, Jasper. That's just Pearl. You think after thousands of years I wouldn't know a thing or two about what she likes, too?”

Jasper’s face flushed. “You-? She also-?”

“Not for a long, long time. It was never a relationship either, I'm not interested in romance. I just appreciate the gems I care for in multiple ways,” she said with a shrug.

“Oh.” Jasper somehow felt immensely relieved.

It's not that Pearl couldn't have relationships with other gems but… Jasper felt a strange selfishness she’d never felt before, and she relished in it. Sex was one thing, but Jasper didn't want to be in a relationship with anyone but Pearl, and deep, deep in her gut, she wanted Pearl to feel the same about her.

“Do you think Pearl feels...” Jasper hesitated.

“I think if you have any fears, you should talk to her about them. I'm sure she would want to know if you were worried,” Garnet said with a small smile.

Then she pushed herself off the ground and swiped a hand over her face, reforming her visor. She walked a few paces closer and stretched her hand out in offering.

Jasper stared at it for a moment, then accepted, and let Garnet pull her up. There was a brief moment where they stayed that way, hands still clutched together. She couldn't see Garnet’s eyes anymore, but she felt like she could tell what her smile meant now. Something bubbled up in her chest, perhaps accomplishment or camaraderie. It felt good. Jasper smiled back.

Pearl was nowhere to be found after Jasper and Garnet returned, so after they exchanged a casual wave, Jasper made her way back up to the lighthouse. A neatly written note was left on the house door in Gem with a drawing of a triangle with an angry face.

Out with Amethyst. You got lucky this time, Jasper. Garden work tomorrow, no excuses!

Jasper smirked at the note and went inside to Peridot’s desk to write a reply of her own. It was covered with papers full of graphs, charts, and other incomprehensible data only Peridot herself could decipher. She ripped a corner off the least complicated looking one and wrote, “not the one making excuses” and scribbled a crude version of her own face sticking its tongue out.

Once in her room, exhaustion hit Jasper like a wall and she slumped heavily, as if a bunch of strings holding her up were finally cut. Normally she would get everything ready for Pearl as soon as she was in her room, but talking with Garnet left her feeling sluggish and drained. She flicked the fairy lights on and collapsed back into her heap of blankets with a grunt. She’d just close her eyes for a moment, then get everything ready. She never napped for long...

-----------------

Everything was cold and dark. Jasper almost never felt cold, but this was a specific chill she remembered well. One from a place where the sun could never reach, where no matter how much heat she generated it was stolen from her skin instantly. It prickled at her fingertips and toes, pressed in from all sides, forced her head to bow low. She wanted to breathe, to get precious energy from the oxygen to try and warm herself with, but she knew better.

The moment she was about to shiver, thin, burning hot lines traced down her spine. They seared into her and branched across her back, but it didn’t hurt. It followed the vulnerable seams of her form and she couldn’t help it, her mouth opened in a gasp. Her lungs filled with a familiar, arid heat and she breathed easy, as easy as the first day she emerged into a windy, sun-baked desert. The scorching lines wrapped around her chest and followed the bend of her waist, and all the cold that had surrounded her was chased away.

“Pearl,” she said.

As soon as the word left her mouth, she realized it was Pearl. White hot rays of sun became tender fingers and arms, wrapping her up in a gentle, warming embrace. The burning light moved inside Jasper and she felt it pulse in her heart, her gem, deep in her belly.

Hands moved over the curve her hips, then down the crease of her thighs, and oh, how Jasper wanted them to keep going, but they stopped and rested there. She could almost cry, she wanted to be held and touched and taken care of so badly. No one had ever treated her the way Pearl did and she couldn’t bear to live without it now that she knew what she’d been missing.

“Pearl,” she whispered again.

“Jasper?”

Suddenly everything rushed forward and Pearl’s voice was more real than everything but the fire that burned hot in her. Jasper’s eyes snapped open and she found herself face-to-face with the exact gem she’d dreamt was already there. Pale blue eyes and tumbling peach hair hovered just above her, shadowed by dusk.

“I love you.”

Jasper’s voice was gravelly and she would’ve normally felt flustered getting caught sleeping, but it didn’t really matter, not with Pearl there. She closed her arms around Pearl and drew her into a tight squeeze. Breathing came just as easy as it had in her dream, and Jasper buried her face into fluffy hair that smelled of flowers and the beach. There was no fear that froze her up, just one smooth motion in and out, as if she’d never known any different.

Slender hands pushed against Jasper’s shoulders and she eased her grip to let Pearl up. Pearl swung a leg over Jasper’s waist, sat on her stomach, and cupped her face.

“Oh, Jasper…” Pearl’s eyes sparkled and without another word she pressed her lips to Jasper’s.

Her kiss was slow and soft, and her delicate hands barely moved at all, but Jasper found their pull was stronger than any amount of brute force. Pearl moved away only to tilt her head a new direction for another languid kiss. Slender fingers combed through the hair above Jasper’s ears and circled her head to pull her in deeper.

Jasper felt a twinge of shame at her body’s intense visceral reaction to such little intimate touch. There was already an ache between her thighs and a tightness in her belly that made her heart pound and her lungs desperate for air. Pearl moved to her neck and it was so gentle it almost hurt. Jasper tried to take a slow and steady breath, but it still came shaky.

In the back of her mind, she realized how different it was from the stuttering difficult breaths earlier in the day. The wavering in her chest felt good and natural. She felt excited and hot, even if a little embarrassed for breaking down so quickly at the attention.

“You like me- how I am? Even- even like this?” she asked between heavy breaths. “Even weak?”

“No,” Pearl said, pressing a firm kiss to Jasper’s overheated cheek. “I love you how you are.”

She leaned up and stroked a thumb over Jasper’s eyebrow, her lips curved in a coy smile. “What are you thinking about in that pretty gem of yours?”

Without Pearl’s mouth at her throat, Jasper could calm her breathing a bit. She frowned and looked away with a huff. “I dunno, I mean when you kiss me like that…”

“When I kiss you like that, hm?”

Jasper frowned harder, this time at Pearl, who looked absolutely tickled. She sat up and pressed her palms to the center of Jasper’s chest, right on top the V of her uniform.

“Well, you don’t know this yet,” Pearl said as she ran her hands up and down the straps. “But after living so many years as a good, obedient little pearl, there’s something very thrilling about having a big strong gem weak in my hands.”

Jasper tried to keep herself steady, but her mind ran wild with the possibilities of what else Pearl could mean by that. The circles Pearl was rubbing into her breasts did not help her focus.

Pearl paused and Jasper barely bit back a pitiful whine at the lack of stimulation. “Of course, as long as she wants to be.”

Pearl’s hands stayed still and she tilted her head to one side. Jasper was so wrapped up in it all she didn’t even realize it was meant to be a question at first. Once it finally registered she nodded her head vigorously and slid her hands over Pearl’s legs.

Weak in her hands. Jasper had been so distressed when she felt weak with Garnet earlier, but with Pearl? Some depraved, hidden part of her brain clicked into place. The same thing had happened the night before, too. Deep, suppressed desires forced their way up and made her want to bare her throat and lie back defenseless, to open herself up and show Pearl every humiliating part of her. She wanted Pearl to have absolute control over her, to claim Jasper as her own.

The Homeworld soldier in her screamed that it wasn’t right, that it was sick for a commanding quartz like herself to want to roll over and submit to a pearl. Yet the new part of her, the part that was learning about everything Homeworld had gotten so wrong, spurred her on. She knew Pearl was a trusted equal, an exceptional soldier, and an even better strategist. It felt rebellious and dangerous to take such pleasure in the power a pearl, a superior warrior, and the gem she loved had over her. It felt good.

“I wanna,” she growled.

Pearl smirked and snapped the strap of her uniform.

“That’s good to hear,” she said. “But there are some things that might be… well, a little intense to start. We can always go slow and work our way up to more complicated things.”

Jasper was slightly offended that Pearl thought she couldn’t handle everything right away, but Pearl knew how strong she was. She knew Jasper would take on any challenge and do the absolute most she could until the very end. That only made her wonder what could possibly be that intense?

“Why don’t we try something simple to start? I’ll tell you where I want your hands, and you have to keep them there the whole time. How about that?” Pearl offered.

It sounded easy, way too easy. Jasper chuckled and raised an eyebrow.

“Sure,” she said. “Where do you want them?”

“Alright, here and here.” Pearl stood over Jasper’s waist and placed each of her hands face down on the floor a few inches away from her hips. “And remember, if you ever want me to stop or slow down just say so and I will.”

“Uh-huh.”

All of Jasper’s previous fantasies flew out the window in favor of her innate competitiveness. She was going to beat this little game no problem. Pearl might think she’d be too tempted to do something and mess up, but Jasper was going to show her.

Pearl smiled sweetly and pressed a foot on the top of Jasper’s hand. “Good girl…”

A little nervous jolt tugged at Jasper’s stomach. Good girl? What was that? She didn’t know why, but she liked something about the way Pearl said it.

Pearl’s demeanor shifted, but she still wore the same smile. She pressed her foot down harder and her voice grew husky. “Don’t you move these until I say.”

Jasper nodded, her arrogant front starting to falter. Barely looking at Jasper at all, Pearl slowly started to undress. First she untied her sash and set it just above Jasper’s arm, then socks came off each foot and were tossed aside. Jasper bit her lip when Pearl stood to one side of her waist and peeled her shorts down, then tossed those aside. She stood over Jasper again, her shirt still on and bare the rest of the way down.

Jasper waited for her to take that off as well, but Pearl just set her hands on her hips and smirked. Without the sash it was just long enough to cover her like a tiny dress. Jasper was frustrated she couldn’t get a better view and her instinct was to reach up and move it herself, but she knew better. She kept her hands planted and tried to look unaffected.

“So far so good.” Pearl dragged her fingers up her shirt to lift it just an inch before letting it fall back down. “It’d be better if you weren’t clothed, though. And we both know try as I might, I just can’t pull it off you myself.”

Jasper took her cue and shifted her uniform off. Her face heated a bit, she still wasn’t used to any kind of nudity, but she was determined to find out where this game would go. She tried to focus on Pearl to push her own self-consciousness to the back of her head.

Pearl blushed in kind and put a hand to her cheek. “Oh, that’s much better. You’re very pretty, do you know that?”

“Pretty?” Jasper asked. Even the deep, rough voice she spoke in said anything but pretty.

“Yes, pretty. I can almost feel the warm and dusty sandstone you were born from when I look at you. You’re like a perfectly carved piece of the Earth taken right from the canyonside, always bringing some of that beauty with you wherever you go…” Pearl seemed dazed for a moment, then shook her head with a laugh. “Oh, I’m getting carried away! You’re doing very well.”

Jasper’s face felt much hotter than before. She couldn’t understand how Pearl saw her that way, but she also couldn’t say she didn’t like to hear it.

“You, uh, still have your shirt on,” Jasper pointed out.

“I know.” Pearl brushed her hands over the hem of her shirt as if to straighten it, then lowered herself back onto Jasper’s waist.

As soon as she sat down, Jasper felt tempting warmth on her belly from between Pearl’s thighs. Keeping her hands in place was getting harder. Pearl worked her hands under the space beneath Jasper’s breasts and squeezed upward in a smooth motion.

Jasper’s breath caught as she watched Pearl from over her own chest. She still couldn’t see any other part of Pearl that she really wanted, but oh, could she feel it.

Pearl wiggled her hips ever so slightly, and it started to get slippery where she moved. She continued her massaging and tweaked Jasper’s nipples at the end of each stroke in gentle pinches and twirls. With a satisfied hum, Pearl pushed Jasper’s breasts together and took both in her mouth at the same time.

A tiny gasp escaped and Jasper almost clamped a hand over her mouth, but Pearl gave her a half-lidded look and quirked an eyebrow. Jasper pressed her hands harder into the blankets and huffed. She already felt a sappy heat building between her own legs. This was harder than she thought. For a moment, she wished their positions were flipped when Pearl slid herself against Jasper again and more slick smeared between them.

She quickly changed her mind with an expert flick of Pearl’s tongue. Pearl wove it back and forth and around in circles, then closed her mouth and sucked. Jasper arched her back and groaned, another pang going to her cunt when Pearl grazed her teeth over them. She eventually let Jasper go, a line of saliva stuck to her chin.

“Look at you,” Pearl murmured. “Still being so good. Ready for the next part?”

“Are you guh- gonna fuck me?” The words spilled out and gave Jasper away before she could act it wasn’t what she’d had on her mind all day.

Pearl’s eyes widened a fraction and she wiped the back of her hand over her chin. “Oh, you- you mean like… like how you did yesterday…?”

Jasper had come this far, she didn’t see the point in pretending anymore. She nodded, now a little nervous.

Pearl wiggled her hips against Jasper’s abdomen with a sigh. “Oh, I’d love to, I really would, but I, well-“ she paused, looking sheepish. “It’s, um. It’s actually quite difficult to get me to evert, and I’d really like to focus on you right now. Is that alright?”

Jasper almost wanted to complain, but the fact that Pearl did want to fuck her that way and also wanted to give her so much attention now made her content to wait on it a bit longer.

“Okay,” Jasper said and grinned. “But I’ll get you to come out next time no matter how long it takes. Just wait.”

“I look forward to it.” Pearl’s smile was sultry and she rutted her hips pointedly. “For now though, let’s continue, shall we?”

And with that, Pearl stood. Finally her shirt was rumpled around her hips enough that Jasper was able to see what had only been a tantalizing wetness on her stomach until then. Pearl was flushed and plump and glistening, and Jasper wanted nothing more than to touch and taste it all. She licked her lips and flicked her eyes back up to Pearl’s, waiting.

A wicked grin spread across Pearl’s face and she took two careful steps forward to stand above Jasper’s head.

“You want this?” she whispered.

A shiver went down Jasper’s spine. She’d never seen Pearl like this—powerful, intimidating even.

“I want it.”

Pearl knelt down and she was so close Jasper could feel the warmth of her thighs at her cheeks. She tried to lift her head to meet Pearl the rest of the way, but her hair was caught under Pearl’s knees. A growl rumbled low in her throat and she bared her fangs in a show of impatience. Jasper could easily rip her hair out from under Pearl, but she could tell this was part of the game.

“You catch on quick, don’t you?” Pearl said softly. “Don’t worry, you’ll get yours soon, I promise.”

She combed her fingers into Jasper’s hair at the top of her head and held her in place while she lowered herself. Jasper eagerly opened her mouth to Pearl and dragged her tongue between the sopping folds of her cunt as soon as it was within reach. It was just as good as she remembered—dripping wet, hot, swollen with arousal. She tilted her head as much as Pearl would allow for a better angle, the taste and smell overwhelming with every breath, every new shape she drew into Pearl’s clit. She was fragrant and sweet like wild roses, but also a little bit salty like the ocean breeze.

Her shirt covered Jasper’s eyes so she couldn’t see Pearl’s face, but she could feel every shiver of her thighs and every minute jerk of her hips when she did something right. She heard all the gasps and shaky little moans and wanted even more. Cool fingers raked at Jasper’s scalp when she slid her tongue inside and gave Pearl’s entrance a gentle stretch. Jasper wished she could wrap her hands around Pearl, hold her by the waist and rub her thumbs over Pearl’s chest, pull slight hips down hard and grind them against her face. She dug her claws into the blankets instead.

Pearl’s grip on Jasper’s hair loosened and she gave her a few soft pets. “Remember, hands flat…” she said between breaths as she untangled herself from Jasper’s hair.

There was a shimmering noise Jasper recognized as Pearl materializing something from her gem and two distinct thumps beside her hip. Then suddenly the fabric covering Jasper’s eyes was gone. Pearl tossed her shirt aside and Jasper had the perfect view she’d wanted all along.

She smiled around Pearl’s cunt and dipped her head forward, sending a deep hum of approval into her hips. “Ohh,” Pearl crooned and braced her hands behind her against Jasper’s breasts. Her eyes were dreamy and a sea-green blush dusted across her cheeks and nose. Stars she’s cute, Jasper thought. She kept her eyes locked on Pearl as she kept up a steady pace and alternated between dipping inside and circling her clit.

Pearl’s voice got higher, more urgent and breathy. She moved her hips back and forth with Jasper’s rhythm and her nails dug into Jasper’s skin. A tremor shook through her core and Jasper could tell she was close, so she pushed in quick, curled up, and rubbed hard against the rough patch inside.

All at once Pearl barreled over the edge full force. Her thighs squeezed around Jasper’s head, her back snapped into a deep arch, her voice shook in an unrestrained moan. Fluid rushed onto Jasper’s jaw and mouth, and she didn’t ease up until she felt Pearl pat her head and lift herself up.

“Oh- oh…” Pearl sighed. “You are so good with that beautiful mouth of yours, so- so good.” She crawled off Jasper with wobbly legs and kneeled to one side of her, pressing dozens of kisses onto her cheeks, forehead, lips, and even a few to her gem.

Jasper couldn’t keep the grin off her face. Pleasing Pearl made her feel so much more accomplished and satisfied than any other kind of victory. Plus, she’d kept her hands in place the whole time, just like Pearl said to. She knew she could do it.

“‘M glad,” she murmured.

As soon as Jasper lifted her hands just a fraction to try and hold her, Pearl smacked the one closest to her right back down. Jasper made a little bark at the sting and looked at Pearl in shock.

“I didn’t tell you that you could move those, did I? Hands. Flat.” Her voice was commanding and powerful like before. “Don’t forget that these are my rules. Be good.”

Jasper hadn’t forgotten the rules, but she had forgotten that Pearl wasn’t done after she came. She forgot Pearl said she’d wanted to focus on Jasper, that she wanted to touch her. The authority in Pearl’s voice, the glint in her eyes, the smart of the slap on her hand all made the arousal that had settled into a smolder flare in Jasper’s belly again.

Pearl picked up her sash and used the corner to clean off Jasper’s face. Her expression softened as she swept the fabric across Jasper’s chin, up her jaw, and over her lips.

“I’m going to make such a mess of you,” she said with a smile.

The heat between Jasper’s thighs ached and a nervous laugh bubbled up from the anticipation. “Ha, you didn’t enough already?”

Pearl just kissed Jasper’s freshly cleaned face and rose to her feet. She picked up whatever she’d dropped by Jasper’s hip earlier and walked to the space between her legs, her hands hidden behind her back.

“What do you have?” Jasper asked suspiciously.

“You’ll see. Now I’d be very happy if you would spread your legs wide for me. I know you can stretch them quite far, I’ve seen you do it.”

Heat crept up the back of Jasper’s neck as she complied. She bent her knees and opened them as much as she suspected Pearl wanted. The humiliation of being so exposed blended into her lust and made a strange but exciting mix. It fed into her newfound desire to be powerless—she wanted to be pinned like a butterfly for Pearl, to give her full access and be used however Pearl pleased. It almost troubled Jasper how deep these cravings seemed to go and she couldn’t understand where they had possibly come from. All she knew was that she needed it bad and Pearl was going to give it to her.

Pearl raised an eyebrow and pressed a foot to Jasper’s thigh, forcing it down further. “I know you can do better than that. Show me how flexible you are.”

Jasper shuddered and leaned up on her elbows, braced her feet on the floor, and stretched her thighs as far as she could. An obscene wet noise came with the wide split of her legs as she opened herself to Pearl’s scrutiny, her lower back bending slightly from the angle.

“How-how would you know?” she asked.

The foot left her thigh and Pearl leaned over Jasper to inspect her. She bent low to trace a finger along the strained muscle of Jasper’s thigh and seemed satisfied.

“Well it’s not like I don’t pay attention when you stretch after you’ve been running around,” Pearl said as she knelt down and set her mystery objects just out of view behind Jasper’s leg. “You don’t have to, but you always take such good care to stretch after you exert yourself. I like it very much.”

Jasper didn’t think her face could burn any worse. Part of her desperately wanted to cover her face with her hands, but the other part loved that Pearl could see how affected she was by it all. Just how long had Pearl been watching her? Jasper tried to recall the times she’d exercised and stretched around Pearl without any second thought to how she’d looked. She never suspected anyone was actually paying attention, she honestly just enjoyed the feeling of exercise…

“I always like looking at you. When you stretch or laugh or fight,” Pearl continued.

Her hands ran up the backs of Jasper’s thighs and pushed them further, testing their limits, then slid back down tense muscle to the crease of her legs and plush outer lips. Jasper let out a shaky groan and tried to push her hips forward into Pearl’s hands. Three fingers dipped into the split of her sex and were gone just as fast as they’d come. She growled this time deep in her chest, impatient, frustrated.

“But I especially like looking at you like this.” Pearl finished, bringing her hand close to her face. She rubbed her fingers together and separated them slowly, heavy strands of slick presented for Jasper to see.

“Fuck, Pearl I-” whatever Jasper had planned to say skidded to a halt when Pearl slid wet fingers into her own mouth. She dragged them in and out, then licked and sucked at them in a more lewd display than Jasper would have ever dared to imagine. When Pearl was apparently done, she removed her fingers and pressed them to her lips with a thoughtful hum.

“Wouldn’t it be nice if I did that to your clit instead?”

Jasper made a choked sound and stared at her, stunned. Since when had Pearl been like this? Jasper felt like she was meeting a whole new Pearl, and she loved her just as much as the caring, gentle one she already knew. Once Jasper got her wits back, she nodded in agreement.

“Let’s straighten your legs a bit, then.” Pearl tugged Jasper’s ankles to either side of her and positioned her feet just so. “Perfect. Now remember, hands flat.”

And with that, Pearl bowed between Jasper’s legs. Jasper had done the same thing to plenty of gems in the past, but never in her life had it been done for her. She had an odd moment of dissonance seeing Pearl’s face there, as if it couldn’t be real and she must be in a dream, like their positions should be swapped. An awkward noise escaped her and she had the urge to cover her mouth again, but she knew the rules. Her hands scrabbled at the blankets under her and her breath hitched.

Pearl’s eyes flicked up to her and she looked concerned. Her arm snuck under Jasper’s leg and reached up to tangle their fingers together.

“This okay?” she asked.

“G-guh-” Jasper stuttered at first, her voice failing her. Pearl’s face was sweet and reassuring and swept Jasper up all over again. “Good- good, stars Pearl, please- please don’t stop-”

Pearl smiled and squeezed her fingers between Jasper’s. “Good,” she said and kissed Jasper’s mound. “You are doing so, so good, Jasper. All warm and wet for me, and so pretty, too.” Pearl peppered kisses lower and Jasper took a sharp breath when she placed a light peck on the hood of her clit. She let go of Jasper’s hand and circled both of her arms under Jasper’s legs, like she was about to scoop her up. Pearl probably couldn’t lift her if she tried, but Jasper felt like she was being held.

“Oh,” she breathed. Jasper liked being on this side very much.

Then Pearl nudged her tongue between Jasper’s folds, dipped inside, and slid up velvety labia to her clit. Jasper let herself fall back to the floor and gasped, dug her claws into the blankets, and strained her legs open as slippery heat pressed against her in all the right ways again and again. Pearl’s head bobbed as she rubbed with the flat of her tongue, up, down, inside again for a moment, then up again with more pressure. Everything was wet and messy and hot, and it felt like Pearl was somehow everywhere at once.

Then there was suction, and oh, Jasper had no idea that’s what it felt like. Her eyes rolled back and she distantly realized the loud noises she heard were coming from her, but it didn’t even matter because she was already tipping over the edge. She didn’t want it to end so soon, but her body pulled taut and her cunt spasmed as she came, hard and intense and—and then it was over.

The heat of Pearl’s mouth left and Jasper whimpered and puffed out shallow breaths like she might cry. She didn’t want it to be over, she wanted to keep going and she wanted Pearl to keep touching her, she just wasn’t done.

Pearl rubbed Jasper’s lower stomach and inner thighs as Jasper tried to calm down. She didn’t know if it was supposed to be soothing, but it only served to rile her up more. Clever hands pressed and squeezed and pawed at her all over, except where Jasper really wanted them.

“Did you like that? Was it good?” Pearl asked. Her voice was low and hungry and made Jasper’s stomach leap. Maybe she wasn’t done after all.

Jasper couldn’t quite manage words yet, so she settled for a rough, “Uh-huh.” She sighed and squirmed under Pearl’s touch, jut her hips forward and gazed at Pearl with pleading eyes to make it clear she wanted more.

“What if I told you I could make you feel even better than that?” Pearl moved her hands away from Jasper’s legs to the floor.

Before Jasper could even ask, a small cylindrical object was revealed from between her legs. Pearl held it with two fingers and turned it so she could see—it was a pale yellow-green color and smooth all the way around with one sloped end. She tilted her head in confusion, unsure how such a tiny thing could help. It seemed too small to put inside her, it was much smaller than Pearl’s hands for sure.

Pearl swirled the object between wet folds and slid the tip in and out a few times, coating it with slick. It wasn’t enough to satisfy Jasper at all, it just teased and made her realize how badly she ached for something to press inside, deep and hard. Pearl moved it up to her clitoris and started with slow circles. It felt nice, but the material was slippery and didn’t offer friction like fingers or pressure like Pearl’s mouth.

“Pearl,” she groaned. “I don’t think it’s working, maybe you should-”

One subtle click and Jasper was cut off with a yelp. Everything between her thighs was buzzing and she couldn’t catch her breath. Her body jerked and twitched and writhed and all she could manage were little strangled squeaks. Pearl said something but she couldn’t make sense of it, she couldn’t think at all. The deep vibrations moved in the same slow circles and sent her higher and higher, her belly coiled so tight it almost hurt. In the back of her mind Jasper knew she was supposed to keep her hands flat, but she couldn’t control it anymore.

“Puh-Pearl- I can’t-” she choked out. She clawed at her face, pulled at her hair, raked welts over her thighs and hips.

“Oh, Jasper, you’re doing perfect.” This time she could hear Pearl’s voice over it all, smooth and low. “Good girl.”

Jasper barely even processed it was happening when she hit her climax full force. Her back arched deep and tears welled in her eyes as tremors wracked her body. Every time she thought she might slow down the feeling just kept going, ripping one orgasm after the next out of her. Liquid gushed from her in powerful waves and she was slick and hot and swollen everywhere. Her cunt clenched tight again and all she could do was scream, “In!”

Something blunt and smooth pressed against her slit and sank in with almost no resistance. It got thicker the deeper it went and gave her an unbearably good stretch. By the time it finally went as far as Jasper could take, something changed again and it pumped in and out with quick, firm strokes.

Her breaths became whiny desperate huffs as she bounced and ground her hips to meet each one. She realized at some point the overwhelming buzz had been replaced with cool, gliding fingers. They rubbed at either side of her clit, delicate and careful to not overstimulate. Jasper’s brain slowly started to work again with the buzz gone and she lifted her head.

Pearl was panting lightly and had an attractive sheen of sweat on her skin. One arm thrust forward and back with determined force while her other hand worked up above in even circles. She was focused on her hands at first, but then she looked up and met Jasper’s eyes and everything crashed over Jasper again.

Soft blue eyes, full of lust and passion. All of Jasper’s feelings surged forth and sent her over the edge one last time with a hoarse, shaky cry. She squeezed so tight inside that the thick length buried in her couldn’t move anymore, but it felt so good to finally have something there that it didn’t need to move. There was a few more rushes of liquid and weaker contractions, and her body finally, graciously started to wind down. Aftershocks from it all made her legs and lower back seize a few times before they calmed to smaller trembles as well.

Pearl rubbed her belly again from one hip to the other, this time genuinely soothing. All of Jasper’s muscles felt weak and heavy, and reality started to come back into focus. She was sweaty and dried streaks of tears went to her hairline, but the worst of it was the stickiness and weight between her legs.

“I’m going to ease this out now, okay?” Pearl said softly.

Jasper flinched when Pearl started to move it. It tugged at her rim as it left and didn’t slide as easily as it had before, but a few sparks of pleasure lingered as it dragged out. It seemed like it took forever for Pearl to pull all the way out, but once she did Jasper melted in relief.

She wanted to tell Pearl she felt gross, to get up and somehow clean herself off, but her limbs felt boneless and her voice only came out in little whimpers. The noise of Pearl taking something else from her gem caught her attention, but she couldn’t make herself open her eyes to look.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you my little pumpkin pie.” A deep, gravelly laugh rumbled in Jasper’s chest. She didn’t know what a “pie” was but she knew what a pumpkin was and she definitely wasn’t little.

Something soft and wet ran over her inner thighs, then across her stomach, and then where slick had dripped onto her ass. “You did so good, I’m so impressed,” Pearl continued. The soft cloth was lifted, and then a new one carefully ran over her outer lips. Jasper winced when fingers spread her open and Pearl moved it up her tender inner labia. “I know, I know,” she whispered.

Jasper belatedly realized that her skin felt infinitely less tacky and disgusting, and that it was Pearl who was cleaning her up. Despite everything, she felt a bit self-conscious about it. “‘M gross,” she grumbled.

Pearl chuckled and just kept running these cloths over Jasper. She wondered how Pearl managed to keep them warm and wet all this time.

“I told you I was going to make a mess of you, didn’t I? It’s only fair I help pull you back together.”

Pearl took her time and made sure every last bit of slick and release was wiped off before she moved away. There was a pause, some shuffling, and then slender arms wrapped around Jasper’s calves one at a time and moved them forward to be flat on the floor.

“That was-” Jasper started, words failing her again. “I dunno if I can- to you? I dunno how you-?” Pearl tucked into the crook of her arm just the way Jasper loved and soft hair tickled her breast where Pearl laid her head.

“I don’t want anything in return for that.” Pearl drew little loops on Jasper’s skin with her finger and sighed happily. “I just really enjoy doing that to a gem. It makes me feel good.”

“But my hands,” Jasper said. Pearl laughed again in the particular, abrupt, honest way that made Jasper’s heart skip a beat.

“Oh, I didn’t expect you to be able to do it the whole time right away. It’s your first time with something like that and I had some very sneaky tricks. You actually did much better than I thought, I shouldn’t have underestimated you.”

Pride swelled in Jasper’s chest at Pearl’s words. She had been saying so many nice things to her tonight. Jasper didn’t know how to respond, but it made her feel bubbly and giddy inside.

“What were those things anyway?” she asked.

“Well, they’re actually- it’s something I sort of got from humans,” Pearl said. Jasper raised an eyebrow and glanced down at her, but she was suddenly very focused on one of Jasper’s stripes. “Humans are actually very creative with inventing toys to amplify sex and pleasure themselves with, and you see, really it was Amethyst who introduced me to it all, but I, well I got carried away and started making my own.”

“You made those?” Jasper asked incredulously.

“Yes- well mostly. I tinkered with an existing motor from a human vibrator and made the frequency more specific to us gems, but I cast the silicone shape.”

“Silicone?” Jasper was learning so many interesting new things today.

“It’s a sort of- oh, here let me just-“ Pearl got up off Jasper’s chest and leaned backward to pick up one of the items. When she returned, she was holding a long object with rounded sides that curved on one end. “This is what I used for penetration, it’s made entirely of silicone. There are other materials humans use as well, even though some are toxic for their organic bodies which I really can’t understand, but I prefer the feel of this.”

Jasper reached up and slid a finger along the material. It was very soft. She could see why Pearl liked it. The shape and size was what really intrigued her, though. It was astonishingly big, thicker and longer than Pearl’s forearm, and had a more narrow, slightly curved tip and a very thick base. The color of it was, to Jasper’s surprise, a pastel orange.

“Did you make this for yourself?”

Pearl spluttered and a color rushed to her cheeks. “I- well, I- only recently, it just- I wasn’t going to pressure you of course, I would never, so it was just to calm my, um, well you know-“ she hurriedly put it behind them and flopped back on top of Jasper.

Jasper laughed and curled an arm around Pearl, hugging her close. “I like it. You can have the real thing whenever you want, but I wouldn’t mind seeing you use it on yourself some time either.”

Pearl snorted and lightly smacked Jasper’s stomach. “You’re silly. I would have used something different for you, but that’s the biggest one I’ve made so far and I really wanted to you to have a satisfying first experience with toys. But now that I know you’re interested in sex I can make new ones for you, too.”

“And you just keep them in your gem?”

Pearl leaned back in Jasper’s arms with a coy smile. “I am always prepared for anything,” she and tilted her head up to catch Jasper’s lips in a kiss.

Jasper grinned and squeezed her tight, earning a little squeak from Pearl.

Everything was so easy, so comfortable and right with Pearl. In moments like these, Jasper was glad everything happened the way it did if it led her here. She breathed in, the air filled with the scent of Pearl and freshly washed blankets, and then out, calm and steady.