Chapter Text
When Javi arrived late in the afternoon at the hotel, he checked in and laid down to get some sleep. He needed to clear his head, as the next day was expected to be difficult; he had tried several times to call Yuzu, but either he hadn’t picked up or the call had gotten straight to voicemail.
The next morning he got to the address by taxi. He walked down the street, trying to find the right house. After two minutes, a car drove by and parked at the house a few meters away. When he saw Yuzu getting out Javi quickly ducked behind a bush at the side of the street. He had known that the supposed absence had been a lie, but what was the reason for it?
Yuzuru bowed down and pulled a bag out of the car, while Akuhei had walked around it. An apple fell out of the bag and Javi could see Yuzuru freezing, his eyes going wide with shock. Or was it fear? His husband caught the apple.
“Be more careful! How can you be so stupid?”
Javi blinked confused. Did he hear right? Akuhei grabbed Yuzuru’s arm, way too tight for Javier’s liking and shoved him towards the door. Yuzuru, on the other side, just ducked his head and didn’t say anything. In the past, if someone had told him this scenario, he would have laughed and dismissed it as simply ridiculous and impossible. But now, he had seen it with his own eyes. This wasn’t the Yuzu he knew. Determined, he marched up towards the door and rang the bell. He had to restrain himself from not knocking at the door impatiently.
Then he heard footsteps and Yuzu opened the door.
Yuzu stared at him speechless, obviously in pure shock. Every response seemed to have left him.
“Javi?”, came finally the quiet reaction. A hint of disbelief was in the younger’s voice and expression.
„Hey, Yuzu”, Javi said with a warm smile and, without hesitation, pulled the him in a warm hug. But instead of hugging him back, Yuzuru stood still like a stone in his embrace.
„Sorry but who are you?, a voice, belonging to Yuzuru’s husband, asked from behind him. Yuzu pushed Javi away quickly, as if the embrace were painful for him. Javi gave him a weird, hurt look. Nonetheless, he forced a smile on his lips and looked at Yuzu‘s husband.
„Hey I am Javier”, Javi said and offered his hand for a shake.
Akuhei answered it with a firm grip.
“A pleasure. I am sorry, but we’re in a hurry. I am afraid we can’t welcome any guests right now.”
Javi did his best to not glare at him. He tried to find Yuzuru’s gaze, but he looked at the floor.
Akuhei stepped beside Yuzuru and put an arm around him. It was only then that Yuzu looked up at Javi with a blank expression.
„Sorry Javi for making all this way down here, but I already told you about our plans. I promise I will text you when I get back.”
The slight twitch in Akuhei’s hand and how the grip around Yuzuru got a bit tighter didn’t go unnoticed by Javier. Javier was torn between asking him to leave the both of them alone or to drop the matter; he urgently needed to talk to Yuzuru, as his gut feeling was screaming that something was wrong. However, Akuhei had proven already that he was short tempered and that he was already irritated. He was unpredictable right now. On the other hand, looking at Yuzuru, it was obvious that his friend didn’t want a confrontation in that moment
„Yeah, sorry”, Javi decided against his better judgement. He scratched his head. “ It has just…been a while? I thought that it was a good opportunity, since I’m in Japan now”.
Yuzu nodded and smiled sadly, but didn’t reply.
„Have a nice trip then”, Javi continued. “I will wait for a message.“
He would have offered the younger a hug, but it didn’t seem that it would be welcomed. He bowed his head lightly.
„I am sorry that I have disturbed you.“
With that he turned around and walked away. He heard the door shut. A sigh escaped him as he walked up the street to get a cab back to his hotel.
Yuzuru watched Javi turn and leave. Everything in him screamed to not let the Spaniard go. He still felt the warmth of Javier’s hug. Oh, how he missed those hugs and Javi. He took a deep breath to fight away the tears that had flooded his eyes and now threatened to fall.
Akuhei had let go of him and had walked back in the kitchen, where they had placed their groceries. Rubbing over his arm, he followed him. From Akuhei‘s body language he could tell that he was angry and an angry Akuhei wasn’t good, when he couldn’t get away.
They worked in silence, getting the groceries in their right place. All the while, Yuzuru thought about Javi. Why did he suddenly appear and reach out to him? No, he wasn’t offended, he did appreciate it. He would have done it himself sometime in the future. Yuzuru stopped in his actions at this thought, before he shook his head in sad denial; No. He would have never. He imagined what would have happened, if he would have just gone with Javi . It would probably be a bad idea. Akuhei’s family was way to powerful with many connections. He looked at the man he once loved. After all this years, he still didn’t quite understand why it all went down the hill. But, based on the circumstances of their meeting and marriage, the marriage probably had been doomed from the beginning.
This had been the sole moment in his life where being a two-time Olympic champion had been the reason of a downfall. He remembered the tight and sad expression of his father and mother as they introduced him to Akuhei and his father. Akuhei’s father was one of the most powerful businessmen in the country, with strong political ties and many companies under his control. His father and his sister worked in one of his companies.
It was a common secret that his son, Akuhei, was homosexual and that his father was ambitious, so, when the man came and asked Yuzuru as husband for his son, it came as no surprise. However when the old man made it clear that he would not accept any other answer than the desirable one, Yuzuru and his family had been shocked. The man argued that this marriage would benefit both families but, upon Yuzuru hesitating, he out right warned them that the Hanyu family would be financially and socially destroyed; he would make sure they wouldn’t get an employment anywhere in the country and he would use his connections to the media to destroy Yuzuru’s image. Yuzuru was disgusted to be regarded as a tool. As he later found out, although Akuhei liked him, he had fought with his father, pleading with him to not drag Yuzuru into this. Yuzuru, then a promising future three-time Olympic champion, was a trophy for the old man, a rare jewellery for show off and means for social power. His son, on the other hand, was a feeble marionette, a weak young man totally controlled by his father. Yuzuru’s family had been strongly against it, but he knew that this was a lost fight. They all knew it deep down.
Yuzuru had finally agreed. He and Akuhei had met regularly, the latter being shy and uncomfortable, apologizing for his father behaviour. Strangely, they clicked; Akuhei was likeable, gentle and made sure that Yuzuru was happy. He respected Yuzuru in every aspect and made him feel treasured. They soon fell in sincere love. Celebrating his third consecutive victory at the Olympics having Akuhei at his side had been pure joy. Akuhei had cried, proud of his beloved skater. After that night, Yuzu hadn’t been afraid of the marriage anymore. Akuhei made sure that each day has a happy one for him. He never, not even today doubted that Akuhei loved him. Or at least, that he had loved him. Yuzuru had been happy in the beginning of their marriage. Akuhei loved to see him skate and let him live freely his life the way he wanted it.
That lasted until he had a meeting with his father in law. Yuzuru had sensed immediately that something had been wrong. The old man had flat out warned them that he wouldn’t allow their lifestyle; Yuzuru had to conform to his whims. Yuzu had been angry and had questioned this man and his desire to dictate their lives, but he had been reminded about the situation and what would befall his family should he disobeyed.
Akuhei’s father had the ability to be persuasive, repeating often words and opinions which twisted the reality yet they were commanding respect. Akuhei had tried to keep Yuzu as happy as possible. But Yuzu had been a strong and independent mind, just like a cat, and he had tried many times to find ways to skate or do what he wanted. As an after effect Akuhei had gotten angry and they had a lot of fights. Yuzuru knew that his husband had just been worried about him. He didn’t know however that his father in law had been poisoning Akuheis mind, making him believe he would lose Yuzu if he let him go out of his control.
As a result, Akuhei actually lost his temper one day and hit Yuzuru in the face. Both were shocked. Akuhei apologised with sincere guilt in his eyes and Yuzu forgave him.
Unfortunately, this was just the beginning. Akuhei grew gradually short tempered and took control over Yuzuru’s life. Sometime later Yuzuru figured that the old man had something to do with it; Akuhei wasn‘t as strong minded as Yuzu and he had been under the influence of that man for his whole life.
He stoped his attempts to sneak out and did as they wanted for the sake of maintaining at least his loving relationship with his husband. But the beating never stoped. Every time Akuhei seemed to have the feeling of Yuzu being rebellious or when he was angry about something, he resorted to violence. It wasn’t so often anymore. Yuzuru endured it for his family’s sake and he hoped that Akuhei would get control over himself again. He could often see the guilt and desperation about the beatings in his eyes and hear his sobbing, when Akuhei thought him sleeping. This was proof enough for Yuzu that Akuhei wasn’t the culprit here, he was just the victim of his old greedy father who liked to have control over everyone.
But the fact was that Yuzu was tired and that he couldn’t do that anymore. Was sacrificing his life like that for his family the right way? Javi came back in his mind. If he had just admitted the truth at the Spaniard over the phone, he might had helped him. But now Javi would probably fly back to Spain and wait for a word from him that would never come.
„What are you thinking about?, Akuhei’s voice dragged him from his thoughts
„Nothing”, Yuzuru looked up, dreading his husband’s reaction.
He saw the anger seeping in Akuhei’s eyes.
„You think about him, don’t you?“
Yuzuru shook his head and backed away, as Akuhei stepped towards him.
„No, I didn’t… I…. Ah!”, he cried, as Akuhei brought his hand forcefully down on his shoulder
He hit the wall with his back and Akuhei trapped him between himself and the wall.
“You should have seen, it Yuzu. The way you looked at him! I am not blind! Neither was the world as you were still competing with him!”, Akuhei screamed.
„No….“ , Yuzuru replied with a broken voice and the sobs finally escaped his lips. He looked up and pushed Akuhei away, earning him a surprised look. „I loved you and you know it! But this... I can’t…..I can’t do that anymore!“, he yelled in frustration.
„You DID love me. So now it’s over huh? Do I have to remind you on what base our
relationship stands?”
“Of course not”, Yuzuru whispered. “I just….please….“
All air was knocked out of him as he felt the blow in his stomach and tumbled to the floor.
„You’re so ungrateful, Yuzu. What about me? You think I like it? I love you, god damn it! But you always have to argue. And why did he even come here?!“
Akuhei was mumbling aggressively and every word was a blow to Yuzuru’s body. Yuzuru sobbed and curled his hand in a fist.
„I don’t know…“, he replied.
He saw the next blow coming and tried this time to stop him. Blind from fury, Akuhei grabbed both his wrists in one hand and slammed them down on the floor, restraining him. He mounted Yuzuru’s hips and his other hand connected with Yuzuru’s face.
„Shut up!, he screamed at the top of his lungs.
“Stop it…”,Yuzuru trembled.
Akuhei had never been this angry. He closed his eyes and tried to curl his body to protect himself. His head was hurting and he could see a thin red stream on the floor next to it. This sight brought Akuhei to a stop. He released his iron grip on Yuzuru with a heavy sigh and moved over. He got gradually a grip on himself and, as he was regaining control over his emotions, the guilt seized his heart.
He rubbed soothingly over Yuzuru’s bruised wrists and pressed soft kisses to them.
„I am sorry…“, he whispered as he picked Yuzu up and carried him to the bathroom.
He took a look at Yuzuru’s head and did his best to patch him up. Yuzuru didn’t say anything, just sitting there and staring blankly at the wall. He pressed a kiss against Yuzuru’s temple, a silent apology. Then he left him alone and went to the kitchen again.
Yuzuru’s blood greeted him, frightening and accusing. He slammed his fist down on the counter. Damn it. Why had he become so angered? He never intended to hurt Yuzu like that. Well he never really did. It just happened. Every time. He was jealous sometimes and, having his father continuously pressing him that he should keep control over the younger, didn’t help. His father didn’t like to see Yuzu socializing with others, in fear that the young man would break free from their family.
Akuhei had yelled at his father, arguing that Yuzu wasn’t his tool or a trophy he could display. He couldn’t keep him away from his family and friends. His father threatened him that he would lose everything, if he would step out of the line. Truly, Akuhei really had nothing yet in terms of financial means. Since his birth, his father had destined him to be the heir to his corporal imperia but he never really allowed his son to take full control of the business. Akuhei sighed. Sometimes he thought his life was a waste. His father obviously didn’t trust him. Well he hadn’t been loyal all the time. He had the kind heart of his mother and for sure that was what kept him a bit sane. His father was just greedy and a full control freak. He smiled as he remembered a conversation with Yuzu.
He stared at his hand and Yuzu, who laid on the floor, holding his stomach. His hands were shaking as he realised he had lost control again.
„No….“ he breathed out and quickly crouched down beside his husband. „Yuzu…I…I am sorry.“ he than cried out almost choking at the upcoming tears.
With a cough Yuzuru sat up and looked him in the eye. He then reached for his face. „No. I am sorry. I made you angry.“
Akuhei pulled Yuzuru in for a hug and shook his head in denial. „I don’t deserve you.“ he whispered.
Yuzuru’s body vibrated in his embrace from the laugh. „Nonsense. Stop blaming yourself. You are a victim to your father.“
Akuhei released Yuzu and sighed deeply. „I wish I had your strong mind.“
Yuzuru smiled sadly. Minutes passed without them saying anything. „Akuhei. Your father won’t live forever. So one day you will have the chance to make it better and heal the wounds your father inflicted.“
Yuzu was right but his father was in good health and Akuhei feared what could happen until he finally died. Guilt stabbed him like a dagger. No child should wish for his fathers death. Akuhei was at a loss and he needed to find a way to control himself. Hurting Yuzuru wasn’t an option. And with what happened today it clearly got out of hand. If he just could somehow end the control of his father over him but there was no way out. He wished his mother would still be at his side. Akuhei was sure she wouldn’t have let that happen. She had been such a warm and kind person, that it was a riddle to him how she could have loved such a cold and manipulating man.
As a matter of fact, Akuhei had been ready to defy his father and live happily with the man he loved in the way they wanted. He knew he was lucky to have him as his loving husband. But then the old man dropped the bomb on him; if Akuhei chose to walk away, the old man would take Yuzuru away. After all, there were also other members of their family wanting to have him as a husband, members who were obediently followed his commands. The old man had made his intentions clear to Yuzuru also, making sure to stress out the fact that he would never allow Yuzuru to escape them.
Akuhei had hoped Yuzuru would fight back, but Yuzu wouldn’t let his family down. He had decided to do this for his family’s sake and when Yuzuru Hanyu decided on something, he would do it. And so he had broken contact with his friends, keeping their bonds formal. He limited his appearance on television shows and didn’t go to the ice shows. He even hid his situation and feelings from his own family, in order not to burden them.
Akuhei hated it. He knew how Yuzuru loved his sport, his friends and his family. Yes, he was definitely jealous of Yuzu and his family, to have a family that supports you no matter what. They didn’t even know what Yuzu went through. Yuzuru spared them the truth. They still thought they were happy and that Yuzu just had changed his focus.
He cleaned the floor from Yuzuru’s blood. What should he do? This time he had hurt Yuzuru more. The bruises were one thing but making him bleed…..
It horrified him and a part of him wished that Javi would just take Yuzu with him. But that wouldn’t help. His father would always find Yuzu and he really feared what might happen if his father lost his temper.
He went to the bedroom and found Yuzuru sleeping. A sad smile crossed his face. He had broken the Olympic champion, a fierce and honest man. He had assisted his father in cutting Yuzuru’s wings and caging him here. It was too late to change that. Nothing he could do would change what he had done. And he couldn’t promise Yuzuru to change. He didn’t want to break a promise, but maybe that was something Yuzu already knew. With a sigh he went to shower and change for bed.
He lay next to Yuzuru and carefully put his arm around him. He hid his face in Yuzuru’s soft hair and breathed in the calming scent of him. Should he give up? But, this man, his man, wasn’t worth of an effort? Maybe a nap would clear his mind and then he could decide what to do.