Chapter Text
On days without missions, Kylo spent his time training. An underground bunker at the back of the base was perfect for his needs.
It was large, dark and silent. Much like himself.
There he was finally free to immerse himself in the dark side. Allowing raw power to course through his veins. Pain, destruction, anger. He was one with it all.
His red lightsaber dangerously hummed before him as he battled an invisable foe. He imagined that it was Snoke. The crackling blade slicing the moldy bastard into two with a powerful stroke.
His naive family still refused to understand. Just because he wore exclusively black, accidently made a red lightsaber, and occasionally used the dark side, didn't mean that he was becoming a Sith lord. Kylo was certain that there had been plenty of Jedi who used the darkside without any problems. No one had ever heard of them because they hadn't committed mass genocide.
His mother seemed to think that he was becoming a psychopath, but what she failed to realise was that most of the Sith had already been psychopaths to begin with. The darkside had just been a convenient excuse for their behaviour.
Unlike the lightside which took hours of meditation and training, the darkside was faster, easier to access, and way more convenient.
Anger, sadness, passion. All regular human emotions, but if he didn't fully give into them, then they wouldn't be able to control him.
Sure the darkside made Kylo more angry and temperamental, but that just made him better at slicing down Snoke's warriors. His mother and her band of rejects were all fools for failing to realise its power.
Unfortunately there was one downside to using the darkside that even Kylo hated.
Solo…. Rasped Snoke's creepy voice in his mind like a familiar tune. Causing Kylo to lose precious concentration. So much power…. Wasted amongst a bunch of fools…
"Shit," Kylo muttered under his breath.
The things that I could teach you boy….. power to rival Vader…..
"Just get out of my head," Kylo moaned as he banged his forehead against the steel wall.
Join me Solo….. bring about a new dawn…...
The prune went on about power, glory, and becoming just like Darth Vader, before Kylo finally got his act together enough to block the old man out.
The psychopath had been force communicating with Kylo ever since he was a child. It wasn't until he was an adult that he found out that his childhood imaginary friend had been grooming him like a creepy pedofile.
If that wasn't sick enough, Snoke then sent him his grandfather's melted mask in the mail.
Kylo had wanted to keep it as a momento. Maybe put it in a glass case and meditate with it every once in a while, but his mother (who still hadn't gotten over her daddy issues) claimed it was haunted and forced him to throw it out the nearest airlock.
Kylo was especially crabby during lunch. He always was after dealing with Snoke. Thankfully no one had attempted to speak to him since he threw the last guy who tried to sit beside him into the wall.
Kylo didn't think things could get any worse, until he heard Dameron shouting "Ben! Ben! Hey Ben!" from across the mess. As though they were actually friends.
Kylo groaned and attempted to blend into the furniture, but unfortunately thanks to his size, that was impossible.
There was the familiar rattle of Dameron taking the seat opposite him to invade his personal space. He was about to go tell Poe to go shove a stick up his arse, when he looked up to see that there were suddenly two of them.
Poe was accompanied by a dark skinned man dressed in Dameron's jacket. Staring at Kylo nervously like he didn't know whether to stay or run for his life.
"Long time no see, man," Poe said with a bright smile and a pat on Kylo's back.
"You were gone?" Kylo bluntly replied.
"For two weeks. Didn't you notice?" Poe huffed when Kylo just stared back at him blankly. "The mission… to retrieve the lost map to Skywalker…turn the tide on the war….. Leia's been talking about it for ages?"
Kylo usually did his best to forget anything about his AWOL uncle. He still hadn't forgiven the old man for running off and leaving them to fix all his problems. "Oh, that," Kylo huffed and returned to his food. "Who's this guy?"
"This is my new buddy Finn," Poe said and clamped one hand on the other man's shoulder. Kylo definitely didn't feel jealous that Poe had made other friends. "Finn, this is-"
"Ben Solo," the ex-stormtrooper finished before Kylo could correct him. "Boy, does the First Order have their eyes on you."
"Really?" Kylo sarcastically muttered. "I never noticed."
"You've got no idea," said Finn. "They've been getting ready for you for months. They picked out a room, and a uniform…...which kind of just looks like what you're wearing now. Kira Ren even collected souvenirs from all your battles and started building this shrine-"
"So you got the map to Skywalker?" Kylo interrupted.
"Well… about that," Poe said awkwardly and scratched the back of his head.
Dameron then launched into a long story of suffering and hardship about how he was captured and tortured by the First Order, only to escape with the help of the man beside him.
"Wait-" Ben interrupted and looked towards Finn. Eyeing him suspiciously. "You're a stormtrooper?"
"Ex-stormtrooper," Finn corrected.
"And how do you know that he's not just another spy for the First Order," Kylo growled while angrily pointing his fork in Finn's direction.
"Easy, Ben," said Poe and he forced Kylo's hand down. "He's with us now. He just wants out."
"I don't plan on staying here long," said Finn. "Once I get my sister back, the two of us are running as far as we can."
"Your sister?"
"Yeah, she's still trapped within the First Order."
"And that's where we need your help Ben," said Poe. "They got BB8 too! If they extract the information then it will leave them straight to Luke Skywalker."
Dameron had a sense of urgency which made it easy to see that Poe genuinely cared about his uncle.
Kylo on the other hand, did not.
Skywalker, Skywalker. Skywalker.
His stupid flaky uncle was all the Resistance seemed to care about.
"Fine, let them find Skywalker," Kylo said coldly. "Then the old fossil can fight their whole army one handed, just like everyone wants."
"Ben," said Poe with shock. Still oblivious to Skywalker's shitty personality and crappy attitude. "You can't honestly mean that."
"Skywalker is a liar and a fraud," Kylo hissed. "You're all fools for thinking that he can solve everything. Just learn to let the past die."
"Ben, come on. The guy's a hero."
"Was a hero."
"We need him."
"Did I tell you about what happened at the temple?"
Poe sighed like he'd already heard the story a thousand times. "A bunch of students went nuts, murdered everyone, then Luke Skywalker disappeared. But that wasn't his fault Ben."
"He left us!" Kylo shouted back. "Right when we needed him!"
"That was years ago, Ben!" Poe cried back. "Just get over it already!"
"If he walked through that door I'd end him myself!"
"He could turn the tide of this war. We need a Jedi to lead us!"
"So, what? Are you saying that I'm not good enough!"
Poe suddenly went silent, and Kylo could see the answer written across his face.
He wasn't good enough.
Just like with his parents, no matter how hard Kylo tried it was never enough, and no one wanted him.
He was alone.
Kylo sharply inhaled and stood to his feet, sending the table straight into the wall with the force.
"I'm not going," Kylo growled as he stormed out of the room.
"Then I guess you leave me with no choice!" Poe cried after him.
"You're going," said his mother from across her desk.
"Traitor!" Kylo cried at Poe who just shrugged his shoulders.