Chapter Text
If Lexi was being completely honest, she had no idea what to do or say to Rue. This situation closely, if not exactly, resembled their encounter in the school bathroom months ago, resulting in an aggressive Rue and a… heartbroken Lexi. It was the day Rue claimed that they weren’t best friends, a day forever burned into Lexi’s mind. Who’s to say Rue wouldn’t become hostile again? If Lexi was going to have an adult conversation without aggression, she’d have to play it nice and gentle. This wasn’t the time for panicky-worried Lexi (although that was exactly what she was feeling). This was the time for calm and understanding Lexi.
She just had to get Rue to open her eyes first.
“Rue,” Lexi said softly, placing her hand on Rue’s arm and gently leading her out of the stall and into the middle of the restroom, “it’s just me.”
Lexi didn’t know how long she waited, staring at Rue’s face angled towards the ceiling, and because of her height, she had quite the advantage at keeping her face far away from Lexi as possible. The longer she stared at Rue’s attempt at shielding her face, the more her heart hurt. They might not be as close as they were before, but if there’s one thing Lexi will forever be good at is reading Rue. And right now, she could tell Rue was trying to hide underneath her hard shell and not cry, because vulnerable-Rue meant panic-attack-Rue. And panic-attack-Rue was not the type to mess around with. She just wished Rue would see her as someone trying to help her, is all.
“Rue, please look at me,” she whispered, cautiously reaching her hand up and placing it behind Rue’s neck, softly caressing her thumb on the stray curls residing back there.
Finally, Rue angled her head down, opening her eyes. She stared back at Lexi, blinking her eyes in hopes of drying them. “Lexi,” she started, her voice high-pitched and cracked, a tell-tale sign she was on her way to tears, but instead she stepped back, pulling away from Lexi’s grip and walking forward towards the row of sinks. Lexi stood in place, watching Rue turn on the faucet and begin to slowly wash her hands. She looked up through her lashes, locking eyes with Lexi through the mirror.
“I never did compliment your look today,” she said, a smile hanging on the corner of her lips, “you look fucking amazing.”
Now was not the time for her face to heat up. She looked down at her shoes and rubbed the side of her arm, taking a deep breath before folding her arms across her chest and locking eyes in the mirror with Rue. This was not a time for games. If this wasn’t a serious matter, things would be different, but as of right now, Lexi had to focus. She had to help Rue.
“Rue, what are you doing?” Lexi said, taking a few steps closer to the sink. “Yesterday, at the dance, Jules said you were clean for three months.”
Rue stared at her through the mirror, wet hands tightly gripping the sink’s edge.
“And now I see you doing God knows what in the bathroom stall at the movies,” Lexi affirmed, her voice shaking.
“Lexi, I don’t want a speech on why I’m a fuck up, okay? J… Just leave me the fuck alone.” Rue warned, her voice rising yet still trembling.
“No, Rue. Turn around and look at me,” Lexi said, no longer staring at her through the mirror, but at her back.
“Lexi, I swear to fucking God—”
“No, turn around and look at me.”
“If you don’t leave me the fuck alo—”
“For God's sake Rue! Look at me!” Lexi shouted, grabbing Rue and forcing her to turn around.
Rue shook away from her grip, slamming her fist on the edge of the sink. “I’m warning you, Lexi. Leave me the fuck alone ‘cuz you don’t know shit about me! I don’t need some heartfelt advice, alright? I’ve had it too many times, and I certainly don’t want it coming from you, too.”
Lexi felt her eyes water, her hands involuntarily shaking beside her. “Rue, I’m here for you. Let me be here for you! Talk to me, please!”
She just wanted to know when she relapsed. How did she relapse? What caused it? Was it today, with her catching Rue in the act and all? Or was it yesterday when she didn’t leave with Jules? What even happened with her and Jules?
“Lexi, I… I really d… I really d-don’t want to—"
She pulled Rue in close, hugging her tightly. Rue was stiff at first, but melted into it, leaning down to hug her tighter. Lexi sighed, breathing in that classic Rue smell that she craved dearly, never wanting to let go. Her heart dropped when she felt Rue’s body shaking, the hot breath on her neck becoming more shallow.
“Lexi…” she croaked, but Lexi held her tighter, cooing her softly.
“Let’s just stand here for a bit, okay?”
Truth is, she could stand there all day if she could. If Rue wanted to, of course. Rue’s body was soft… Why would she ever want to let go?
Rue sniffled. “Okay.”
The door to the restroom abruptly opened causing them to jump away from each other, eyes widening at the movie theater employee walking towards them.
“Excuse me, girls,” she said, chewing her gum and pointing to the door, “I’m gonna have to escort you guys off the premises. We got complaints that y’all were shoutin’ and cussin’ and some customers were afraid to come and take their shits, sooo.”
“Okay, we’re… uh… very sorry. We’ll leave right away. We didn’t mean to like—” Lexi started, but stopped once Rue took her hand.
“Let’s go, Lex.” Rue said, nodding towards the employee and leading Lexi out of the bathroom and out of the theater.
The breeze of the outside air was way more refreshing compared to the stuffy movie theater bathroom. Lexi took a deep breath, trying her best to calm her racing heart. She looked down at Rue, who was sitting on the curb, face in her hands.
She remembered that they both had quite the liking for Shrek. If she wanted to be there for Rue, Lexi had to understand that Rue was like an onion. She had many layers, some harder than others. She also had to know that that bathroom scene that just happened not too long ago, was only Rue’s tantrums at level two (level one being the scene during the actual movie) out of God knows how many.
Just breathe, Lexi. If she calmed Rue down before, she could do it again… right?
Lexi walked over to Rue, sitting down on the curb beside her. She put her hand on Rue’s knee, softly caressing it.
“We didn’t even finish the movie,” Rue said, voice muffled by her hands.
Ignoring Rue, she continued to caress Rue’s knee, watching Rue remove her hands from her face and scooch closer, looking into Lexi’s eyes.
Oh, God. Rue was really close to her. Like really close to her.
“Are you blushing, Howard?”
Lexi’s eyes widened, looking at the curb underneath them, and back to Rue’s piercing eyes. “Yes. No! No, I’m just… it’s hot out here… Anyga… Anyways, Rue. We still have to talk about—”
“I know, I know.”
Lexi raised her eyebrow at her. “This isn’t a joke, Rue. We have to for real talk about this now or later tonight. This conversation is happening before this day ends, okay?”
Rue nodded. “Yeah. I understand.”
Did she, though? Lexi still had a ton of questions at the tip of her tongue, and she was gonna get them the easy way or the hard way. Whichever Rue wanted first.
Lexi chewed her lip, deciding what to say next. They could go and hang at her house, if Rue wanted to, of course. Cassie wouldn’t be a problem, and her mom would be either be at work or asleep. Plus, she had to watch over Rue as much as possible. She had to do whatever she could to help her with her drug problem. Speaking of drugs, did she still have any on her? She knew she heard the toilet flushing, but Rue was smart. She, unfortunately, had years of experience under her belt. She was unpredictable.
Lexi stood up, holding out her hand for Rue to take. Some would say she was becoming addicted to the whole “hand-holding” thing, but could anyone really blame her? Rue Bennett had soft ass hands, and she was gonna hold them as often as she could. Who wouldn’t?
Rue sighed, standing up and taking Lexi’s hand. “What are we gonna do now?”
“Do you… wanna hang at my place? Cassie is gone with her friends probably, and my mom… she should be knocked out on the couch cuddling with her empty glass of wine,” she said, softly chuckling.
Rue nodded, beginning to walk forward, but Lexi stopped her.
“What’s up, Howard?” She asked, head tilted.
Lexi stepped closer to her, eyes narrowed. “Empty yo’ pockets.”
Rue scoffed, eyes narrowing back at the shorter girl. “Wow. Wow. Wow.”
Lexi stepped even closer, finger touching Rue’s forehead. “I said what I said, and I meant what I said. Empty ‘em.”
Rue squinted her eyes one more time before surrendering, stepping back and emptying the *many* contents out of her pockets.
Out came some loose popcorn, some dice, a 20 pc receipt of nuggets from McDonald’s, a house key, her headsets, her phone, and no little baggies.
“Is that all, Rue?” Lexi said, still unsatisfied.
Rue rolled her eyes, taking off her hoodie and passing it to Lexi. “Check the pockets for yourself, Howard.”
Lexi’s eyes widened, admiring Rue in her tank top. Why was she so perfect? Like how--
“Are you checking me out or the hoodie—”
“Rue, just shush. Please.” Lexi said impatiently, searching through her hoodie and coming to the conclusion that Rue was right. She had nothing.
“Ma’am, I’m sorry but I’m gonna have to pat you down. You know, it’s protocol.” Lexi added, looking at Rue’s pockets on her sweatpants.
Rue rolled her eyes and put her arms out, spreading her legs. “Just get on with it, Bennett. I flushed my stash in the toilet, but go ahead.”
Lexi stepped in front of Rue, eyeing her down as she patted her bare arms (much to Rue’s confusion), and finally her legs, putting her hands into Rue’s pockets. Surprisingly they were empty, except for the stray balls of cotton or crumbs.
“Having fun there?” Rue said, sighing.
Lexi rolled her eyes, taking her hands out of her pockets and climbing onto her bike. “Just hurry your ass up.”
“Wow, the disrespect.” Rue chuckled, smirking as she climbed behind her.
Lexi kicked off, pedaling off of the curb and down the street. “Do you wanna hit McDonald’s real quick? I’m kinda craving some nuggets.”
“God, you’re the best, Lex.” Rue giggled, resting her head on her back.
It was dark when they arrived at Lexi’s house, unashamedly spending too much time at McDonald’s, then aimlessly walking around Target for a bit, and finally hitting the closest convenience store for a pair of slushies.
And Rue still hasn’t told Lexi about the details on her relapse. Every time she reminded Rue that they still have so much to talk about, Rue laughed and took Lexi’s hand in hers, quickly changing the subject.
Sure, Rue was charming, but definitely not to the point where Lexi would let something as important as this go without discussion. She was going to talk seriously with Rue whether she had to lock the two of them in her room or even strap her down. It was Rue’s choice on how she wanted it to go.
“Do you think your mom’s asleep?” Rue asked, sipping her slushie.
God. Lexi hoped she was. She loved her mom, but her mom loved to ask questions. And if Rue was the one being interviewed, Lexi just knew it would all go to hell.
“She might be,” Lexi answered, peeping through the windows. She couldn’t see her mom, so there was a possibility she was up in her bed, asleep. However, there also was a possibility she was in the kitchen doing whatever it was moms do. There was no way to tell. “Let’s just go in super quietly, alright?”
Rue nodded, watching Lexi slowly put the key in the door knob and begin to slowly turn it. She pushed open the door and motioned for Rue to step in first as she carefully closed the door behind them. Unfortunately for her, she wasn’t careful enough.
“Cassie? Is that you?” Her mother’s voice asked from upstairs.
“Mom. It’s me, Lexi.” Lexi said aloud, trying to be quick with her words. “Is it okay if Rue sleeps over?”
There was a short pause before her mother answered. “Yeah, Rue is welcome anytime.”
Lexi glanced at Rue and nodded her head, the both of them walking upstairs to her room.
“Thanks, Ms. Howard.” Rue said aloud before being pulled into Lexi’s room.
Lexi sat on the edge of her bed, watching Rue fidget with her hands in her pockets and look around the room, as if she did not know what to do next.
“Hey,” Lexi started, playing with the rips on her jeans, “We should probably change.”
Rue looked at Lexi, nodding her head. “Yeah.”
Lexi walked towards her dresser, pulling out an over-sized t-shirt and a pair of pj bottoms. Rue always used to come and borrow her pjs, so Lexi had no worries on if they’d fit her or not. She knew they would.
“Here,” Lexi said, holding out the clothes for Rue.
Rue stepped close, taking the clothes from her. “Thanks.”
Lexi went to her dresser and pulled out some pjs for herself, her heart pounding. Sure, she’s seen Rue in her underwear before. It’s just that it’s been so long, and… she didn’t know if she’d be able to handle it. No, she definitely knew she wouldn’t be able to handle it.
The two of them stared at each other, both of them rolling the bundles of clothes in their hands.
Rue started first. “So, um… should I… uh…”
Lexi bowed her head down, her face heating up. “Yeah… So, I’m just gonna… haha… slip my head out of my shirt.” She murmured, turning her back to Rue and beginning to take off her shirt.
She tried slipping her top off but struggled to take her head out, pulling at it clumsily. Jesus, could anything ever go as planned?
She heard Rue laughing and turned around, fully knowing that her top was suffocating her face and her bra was on display.
“You need some help with that, Lex?” She laughed, stepping closer to her.
Lexi was relieved that Rue couldn’t see the state her face was in now, because she could feel her face legit melting off. But if there was one thing Rue could see, was her boobs. Lexi’s heart was gonna fall out of her chest any second, she just knew it.
“Uh… yeah! Yeah. Thanks,” she said, her voice muffled. She held her breath when she felt Rue’s close proximity, breathing right behind her. She gently put her hands on either side of Lexi’s shirt, and slowly pulled up, detangling her head and efficiently removing the shirt from Lexi’s big head.
Lexi slowly turned around, face to face with her taller counterpart, swallowing thickly.
Lexi looked up into her brown eyes, their faces just a tiny space away. It was maddening how silent the room was, the only exception being their shallow breaths. She couldn’t tell if she was breathing heavily or Rue, but she came to the conclusion that it was mostly her once Rue leaned in even closer. If that was even possible.
Lexi continued to stare right into Rue’s eyes, the gentle feel of their breasts touching making her suck in a desperate breath. She felt Rue’s hands slowly come to her bare waist, her eyes barely opened yet still focusing straight into Lexi’s soul. Their foreheads were touching now, their lips so close that Lexi could almost feel their lips touch. Lexi closed her eyes, leaning in slowly. Their lips just barely brushed when the door abruptly opened, Cassie on the other side.
“Lex, you will not believe what Kat di—” she said stopping, eyes widened at a guilty Rue standing next to an equally guilty topless Lexi.
“What… what is going on here?” Cassie asked, still standing in the doorway.
Did Cassie see? She couldn’t have, they didn’t even do anything to begin with… right? Right!?
Lexi opened her mouth, but no words came out. Rue looked at Lexi and back to Cassie. “Lexi’s uh… shirt? Top! Her top got stuck on her head. You know, she has a big head and all, haha.” Rue said, her voice unusually high.
Cassie looked at Rue and then towards Lexi.
“Ohhhkay…” Cassie said, stripping off her outfit and changing into her pjs, nonchalantly. “I’m gonna go downstairs and… get some water,” looking at them once more before closing the door behind her.
Lexi glanced at Rue, grabbing her pjs and walking to the door, opening it. Remembering that she was still topless, she held her pjs up to her chest.
“Um… I'm gonna go pee… like before bed.” Lexi said quickly. Rue nodded, still standing in the center of the room. Lexi closed the door behind her, running towards the bathroom. She shut herself in, locking it.
“What the fuck.” She whispered to herself, slipping on her pj top and quickly stripping off her jeans and putting on her shorts. “What the actual fuck.”
They almost kissed. KISSED . What the fuck, Lexi? She remembered Cassie’s words: “ You go and do whoever the fuck you want.” And here she was, doing that… but not going all the way! But she had to cut herself some slack, she had no idea Rue would get so close to her. She was right there, about to kiss her, time stopped, and then Cassie bursts through the door like the Kool-Aid man? Hell no.
She brushed her teeth and did her face routine at an unusually slow pace, afraid to go back and return to her room. After a good ten minutes passed by, she took a deep breath and exited the bathroom, hand hovering over the door knob.
Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and entered her room. Rue was sitting on the edge of her bed, changed into her pjs, nodding her head to whatever nonsense Cassie was saying right next to her.
Wait. When the hell did Cassie get back in the room? And how in the hell was she supposed to talk seriously with Rue when Cassie was right there?
“Why are you standing there staring into space, Lex?” Cassie chuckled, getting up from Lexi’s bed and climbing onto hers across the room. She turned her head in Rue’s direction, “I had no idea that Kat was that flexible. Like even more so than me! Like what!”
Rue laughed, “Me neither, man.”
Lexi sat on the edge of her bed, joining Rue. Lexi could feel the taller girl tense up, almost immediately.
“Oh my God! The new season of Glow is on Netflix! Yolanda here I come,” Cassie said, slipping in her airpods and lying down on her stomach, the lamp near her turned off.
Lexi glanced to Rue, it was time. And almost as if Rue knew, she nodded her head. “Can we talk about the thing now?” Lexi asked.
Rue cleared her throat. “I… I’m sorry if you were uncomfortable when I… we… almost kissed and—”
Lexi’s eyes popped out, frantically placing her hand on Rue’s pajama pants. “NO! No. I-I’m talking about your relapse. Not… haha… not that .”
Shit. The kiss. Just one more thing to add to their list to talk about. Could Lexi ever get it easy?
Rue nodded, looking down at Lexi’s hand on her thigh. Lexi looked down too, chuckling awkwardly before returning her hands to her own lap. “Okay, I wanna know all the details about your relapse, so we can prevent it from happening again.”
“Lexi,” Rue said, cutting her off, “I told Jules that we should run away together, but before we actually did… I chickened out. She ended up leaving, and I went home feeling empty and lost. Then, I got my secret stash and snorted a line. I feel shitty for doing it… okay? I just… Jules has this hold on me… I don’t know why.”
Lexi nodded her head, her chest tightening. “Jules, huh.”
Rue nodded. “She’s so different… like she’s so real, not like anyone I’ve ever met before… she’s just… wow.” Rue bowed her head, resting it in her hands. “I’m a mess, I know. I texted her like a few minutes ago, to just check up on her, ‘cuz I’m obsessive and clingy and a burden and I just can’t let her have fun in peace. I always slow her down. Ali told me she’d leave me… I just didn’t think she would leave so soon.”
Lexi took Rue’s hand in hers, causing Rue to sit up and look into her eyes. “Rue, you are not a mess. You can be obsessive and clingy… but who isn’t nowadays? Hell, I am,” Lexi squeezed Rue’s hands tighter, “But most important of all, you are not a burden. Just like I said at the Halloween party, and I’m saying it once more now, you are not a burden. Not to anyone.”
Lexi raised her hands, cupping Rue’s face. “And never to me,” she whispered, pulling Rue in close, their lips colliding. Rue sighed into her mouth, her hands tangling in her hair. Lexi’s whole body ignited, the feel of Rue’s soft lips on hers, her warmth spreading her from head to toe. Rue pushed forward, tentatively asking permission with her tongue, causing to Lexi to moan softly in acceptance. Her mind was spinning, her hands were burning, everything in her was burning. She wanted Rue, like, really badly, but her sister was just a few steps away. She couldn’t have a hardcore makeout sesh (even though she oh so wanted to) with her sister right there, especially with Rue, someone Cassie knows as their mutual friend. So, she pulled away, her eyes popping open, peeking at Cassie, who was softly snoring to the sound of her show playing, and then back at Rue. It took a second for Rue to open her eyes, and when she did, Lexi could’ve swore her eyes were darker. Rue had to feel something for her, she just had to. That kiss was way too passionate to be platonic… and my God, Rue was a good kisser.
They didn’t say anything for a few seconds, before Lexi dipped her head down, pushing a stray curl behind her right ear. “We should go to bed, Rue.”
Rue nodded, swallowing thickly. “Y-yeah… bedtime, Howard.”
Lexi put her hair into a bun and crawled up on the bed, pulling open the comforter and snuggling under it. Rue still sat on the edge of the bed, silently watching her. Lexi patted her hand on the open space to the right of her, and Rue’s eyes widened for a second, before she put on her cool facade (Lexi knew Rue like the back of her hand), crawling up the bed and climbing under the blankets next to Lexi.
Before Rue could say anything, Lexi scooted closer to Rue, hugging her from behind. Lexi’s body tingled hearing the immediate sigh emitted from the taller girl, causing her to hug her tighter.
“Y’know I’m taller, right?”
Lexi smiled, her face breathing in Rue’s beautiful curls. “... And?”
God, she hated how deep she was falling for Bennett.
“Annnnnnd,” Rue abruptly turned around, face to face with Lexi causing her to gasp, “that means I’m the big spoon.” Lexi smiled, staring dazedly at Rue’s lips but quickly towards Rue’s eyes.
She was falling deeper and deeper. Faster and faster.
“Turn over, Howard. Come on,” Rue giggled, holding Lexi’s hips and pushing her to face the other way. Rue scooted closer, hugging her from behind. Lexi was in heaven.
“Night, Howard.” Rue murmured, burying her face into the back of Lexi’s neck.
Lexi sighed, begging her heart to calm down. “Night, Bennett.” She closed her eyes, holding Rue’s hands which were wrapped around her torso. Everything was perfect, the feel of Rue’s soft body, the sound of Rue’s soft breathing, Rue’s soft scent… Lexi had never been happier. However, the second they fell into a deep slumber, Rue’s phone vibrated on Lexi’s bedside table, lighting up the room for a few seconds before the room was back to black.
From Jules: i miss you so much too, rue. God you don’t even know how much. <3