Chapter Text
When he closes his eyes and pull up his memory banks, he feels this bittersweet loss come over him as he sees Charles's face again, recounting their brief yet blissful times together. That beautiful gold and blue light, glittering forever inside of his head, Charles's smile; his emotions glimmering from his blue eyes; his touch and kisses, then the tears would suddenly come unbidden as he held onto his pain and longing for him. He could have disabled his emotion chip, removed the programming Charles had installed inside of him. He could have wiped Charles from his memory banks and the pain would go away. He realized at the onset that the pain is as much a part of the joy he felt when he had been with him. It was unthinkable to even consider forgetting Charles. He loved Charles so deeply that he would endure the hurt twice over if it would allow him the opportunity to go back in time and stop Charles from being murdered or perhaps, stop him from being used by Genosha.
Maybe that was the reason why he fought to possess Charles's consciousness drive and keep it in his residence. He had been told by his superiors that Charles's consciousness drive will be used as evidence and turned over to the government for research purposes but he refused; informing them that Charles's human soul, part of it in fact, was in that consciousness drive and they had no right to use him as some object. Hank had been able to revive the Charles android but when it gained 'consciousness', it was to their dismay that it did not appear cognizant of itself. Erik looked into his eyes and saw the emptiness there. He almost broke down after their gazes met and he saw no real life in them. No sign of the human Charles. The android would move when ordered to but it appears to have no capability of speech or emotion. It was stripped of any human mannerisms or function. It could sit there for hours on end just staring into nothingness, doing nothing. It was like a catatonic or a blank canvas of a human. Hank had informed him that he had scanned the android and saw only a vestigial portion of Charles's consciousness in there. In short, this android was the equivalent of someone brain dead. There was nothing of its former occupant in it but Erik refused to just abandon him or cast him away. Even if it was just small part of Charles, the heart of the matter is that he is in there. The shell has Charles's soul.
He was the subject of much scrutiny for his defiance and he was brought up before a government panel for a formal inquiry. He had spoken eloquently, defending himself and had advised them why they should not use Charles like he was a 'thing'.
"-this man has endured so much hardship, used for depraved acts that can be deemed inhuman. He had been experimented on, raped and kept against his will. Ladies and gentlemen, it would be an act of inhumanity on your part if you pursue this action of keeping him as an object for your own means. When he had been fully conscious, all he ever wanted was freedom and happiness. Of the state he is in now, it is quite unfortunate that he will never know happiness but give him his freedom at least. Don't act as his new jailers. Let him live what little life he could live-"
He turned his gaze to Charles, who sat very still and stared blankly ahead, unmoved by his words. He was seated next to Jean Grey and Emma Frost, both of them holding Charles's hands. It had been many months since their rescue and Emma's attractiveness had finally returned; her health was improving and the scars she had on her chest and neck are slowly fading away thanks to modern surgery techniques that helped remove them. It was a different matter with her emotional scars. Those will probably haunt her for the rest of her life. Raven also sat next to her and Sean sat next to Logan. They attended the inquiry to support Erik in his cause. Hank and Chief Shaw could not come because of duties they had to attend to and Rogue had gone back to Scotland, only able to send an e-message wishing him luck and viewing the proceedings remotely in her e-brain.
One of the men from the panel regarded Erik with narrowed eyes."As much as we appreciate your heart-felt plea, Mr Lehnsherr, this consciousness drive cannot be considered a human being. For lack of a better word to describe what the drive has stored in its data banks, I shall address it as a mental imprint. Given the extraordinary circumstance that had allowed Mr Xavier's consciousness to be transferred into it, there is hardly any humanity within this entity now; I was informed it has the mental capacity of a low-form android. If we disassemble it, this drive could provide a breakthrough in-"
Erik cut him off, shaking his head vehemently."Listen to yourself! You're a human being! If you were in his position, would you have wanted to be shunted off and used like how he had been used? Did you not read the files I have sent you on how he was treated? Did you not see the atrocious things that had been done to him from the video logs I included in my report? How dare you to think that even if it was just a small grain of a soul, it would not have mattered!"
"Mr Lehnsherr!"The man spluttered angrily, taking his glasses off and glaring at him. His face had flushed with shame when he looked about him and saw that the other panel members were siding with Mr Lehnsherr, the android. Several people in the audience were also crying after they had listened to Erik's words. The reason why his words had so much impact on them is because they are all aware that Erik Lehnsherr and Charles Xavier were in a relationship and that it appears that Mr Lehnsherr had developed human qualities that had made his situation unique. Their hearts went to him because he still loved Charles no matter how awful his end had been. This unwavering devotion and fidelity made them question their own humanity in a sense. Erik leaned forward on the podium staring hard at all the panel members.
"Ask yourselves, what is the measure of a human soul? If a person falls into a coma or becomes brain dead, do you leave that person to die? No, your humanity gives you the cause to tend to these patients, even though they are considered hopeless cases, because they are human like you. Your integrity as humans compels you to care for your kind. The way Charles is now, I know he will not respond to me the same way he used to. I will never see him smile, I will never see him laugh or cry again but I refuse to abandon him. Like a doctor whose sole purpose is to attend to the sick, I shall do the same for Charles. I will tend to his needs; I will take care of him and provide for him. I will keep on loving him. No matter what you say, he is a human being, even if you think so little of his soul-"
Murmurs from the panel as they looked at each other but the bespectacled man who had addressed him appeared unmoved. Erik then waved his hand before him and pulled up a bluish hologram of his data banks.
"I would like to show you something-"He said softly and then he grabbed a file from the databanks and then he lifted his hand up so that they could all view the hologram of his mental image...of Charles's soul. The room was surrounded by a blue and gold light that was mesmerizing to look at. Everyone who viewed it was in awe of it's beauty.
"This is Charles's soul. It's quite beautiful isn't it? His consciousness drive only has a part of it. Still, it is a soul. Would you kill his soul just so you can experiment on him and use his shell for your own research? I know what will happen if you disassemble his AI. His consciousness drive will go into factory reset and it will wipe his soul away. Ladies and Gentlemen of the board, I ask of you, would you act so heedlessly and destroy someone's spirit like this?"
The result thereafter was unanimous. Because there was proof that they had a relationship and that Charles was incapable of supporting himself, the government had handed him over into the care of Erik Lehnsherr. Their story was splashed all over the news and there had been so much support for their relationship even though it was quite sad. Erik was hounded by the media but he avoided them at all cost and continued his work with the citadel's police force. Emma Frost had offered to care for Charles when he was not around. Erik had given Emma her first job as a caregiver for Charles, so she stayed at his house. Charles's friends frequently visit him even though he could not respond to them or remember them. Like Erik, they consider Charles as being alive through the consciousness drive. They spoke to him and treated him as a normal human being, but Erik could see the sad expressions on their faces as they spoke to Charles, knowing that he will never converse with them as he used to. Erik returned one day from work and saw that Emma had invited Sean and Raven into his house and they were sitting in the living room with Charles, speaking to him.
"Erik, I hope you don't mind I invited them over for dinner-"Emma said sheepishly as she greeted him with a dazzling smile.
Erik shook his head and gave her a faint smile in return."Not at all. Although I wish you could have sent me an e-message about it. I would have prepared something you will all enjoy-"
Emma waved a hand at him, rolling her eyes."Sugar, I don't do e-messaging! I like being spontaneous! It's the human in me, now that I'm living a life I've missed for so many years-"
"Hopefully it does not translate to you becoming a sybarite!"Erik said blandly.
Emma laughed ruefully at that."Hardly! I just take pleasure in the smallest of things. Just baby steps. It's the same for everyone-"She gestured to Sean and Raven. Raven was just as beautiful as Emma but appeared to be more earthy; voluptuous. Her blond hair and blue eyes are full of life...and some mischief. Sean's appearance had also improved and he looked handsome with his red hair cut short and his fair skin free of the scars that were once there.
"Hi Erik! How was work?"Sean asked brightly as he kept on putting his arm around Charles, who sat still like a statue and stared at all of them with a blank look on his face. It was unnerving to see him act like this at first but they were all getting used to it.
"It was fine, Sean. Thank you for asking. Will you please take your arm off my boyfriend?"Erik said quietly.
Sean did as he was told and he was laughing uneasily, seeing the dark look on Erik's face."Geez, so possessive!"
Erik went to Charles, looking closely into his eyes, hoping sometimes that there might be a flicker of recognition in there, a sign that Charles would somehow miraculously come 'alive' but there was only that empty and faraway look in Charles's eyes. Erik leaned forward and kissed his cheek softly.
"I'm home-"He murmured against his cheek. No response. Charles's friends eyed each other in a silent understanding of how hopeless the situation was for Erik and Charles. Charles will never be the same. What Erik was doing was indeed noble, caring for his lover and making sure that he was not used by anyone else ever again but would Erik be willing to go on like this with him? They would have longer lives than humans and they had wondered, what with Erik being 'humanized', would he come to find a life with Charles tiresome as the years pass them by? Perhaps, only time itself can tell that. Erik reached for Charles's hand and made him stand up.
"Come with me into the kitchen, Charles. Let's prepare something for your friends-"Erik said gently. Charles did not respond but allowed himself to be led off. He stood, inanimate in the kitchen next to Erik as the other chopped vegetables. Charles's hands were at his sides and he was standing straight, his eyes devoid of any life or emotion, making the blank expression on his face somehow disconcerting. But Erik had come to accept Charles as he is. He spoke to him as he worked.
"Logan says he actually misses you. Would you believe that, Charles? He used to hate the way you talked but he said he wanted to hear you 'mouthing off' him again-"
Erik turned to look at him and saw that Charles just stared ahead, with no glimmer of response in his eyes. He appeared to be staring at a pattern on the tiled kitchen wall. Erik sighed softly and stopped what he was doing. He turned to Charles and hugged him tightly. Lately, he can't seem to stop himself from doing so. A tear slid from his eye as he pressed his face to Charles's shoulder.
"Please Charles. I know you're in there. Give me a sign. Give me something to let me know you understand what I'm saying to you-"
He looked up and saw the vacuous stare from Charles, still directed to the tiled wall. Erik pulled back and caressed Charles's cheek sadly, a pained smile forming on his lips.
"Everyone else thinks I should give up on you and just hand you over to the government. But I'll never do that, Charles. I'm not giving up on us-"
Erik's eyes widened because he saw some movement from Charles's eyes, like he tried to blink but then stopped. The movement was too minute for Erik to tell if it was not just some trick but he used his own viewer and re-winded the moment Charles made the action. There. A tiny trembling from his eyelids. Erik was excited and he went out to tell everyone outside what had happened. Emma and Sean exchanged looks and Raven looked away, her chin quivering.
"Erik, it was just an involuntary twitch. I saw it before and I told Hank about it. He told me not to get too excited over it because it is just some sort of fluctuation in the system, a delay when it's refreshing-"
Erik refused to accept the answer. He was frowning at all of them. He could not understand why they would think that there was no possibility that Charles would come back to them the way he is. He grew quiet as he continued to prepare them something to eat and even as they ate their meal, he remained taciturn. Raven bent close and whispered in Emma's ear but Erik heard it anyway.
"Talk to him-"
"Later-"Emma said softly. She kept on smiling at everyone and trying to engage them all in a conversation.
"Raven and I bought new clothes for Charles earlier, Erik. We had him with us when we went to the mall and we took a walk in the park after. Charles fed the fishes in the pond. Didn't he now, Raven?"
"Yeah, he almost threw the entire bag of breadcrumbs in. We had to stop him!"Raven said ruefully as she recalled what Charles had done. Erik knew this already but kept silent. Charles sat at the table with them, immobile as always. Erik plugged energy and liquid shots directly into his interface ports at night since he does not eat anymore. They just had him sit at the table with them and included him into their conversation, even though he will not respond. Raven turned to Charles and smiled at him.
"Next time Charles, we'll go to the park and feed the pigeons, since you enjoy feeding animals-"
"We should take Charles to the zoo next! I hear they had used DNA manipulation to bring back some extinct species of mammals. I'm sure he will like that-"Sean added as he kept shoving curry rice into his mouth, speaking and chewing at the same time.
"I think that's a brilliant idea! You should join us, Erik!"Emma enthused as she regarded Erik kindly.
"Of course. I shall file a leave. Just tell me when-"Erik said politely but his eyes were still focused on Charles. A feeling was building inside of himself. He did not want to think that the small movement from Charles's eye was just the system refreshing. He felt hope for the first time in a long time. It had been eight months since the real Charles was murdered. Eight months since Emma and the others were rescued. It was unfortunate that they were the only survivors. The others in the Genosha floating factory were already too far gone to be saved. Some of the abducted people were suspended in vats, their bodies disassembled and beyond repair by modern technology. Some of them had gone mad and had died the moment they were disconnected from their machines. It was a sad business even though the case was finally solved. The other three technicians were all found dead, murdered by Cain Marko. The police gathered data and evidence and then Erik, being in control of the system, brought the facility down to the ocean, allowing it to float on the watery surface. Erik had refused to let anyone touch Charles's real body and carried it himself when they began to leave that horrid place, while Hank carried Charles's consciousness drive. Erik had made sure that Charles’s human body was treated with dignity. He had paid for his funeral arrangements since Charles's own parents had died a few years ago and he had no more living relatives to lay claim to him. Erik gave Charles's body a lavish spot in a cemetery. He sometimes visited Charles's grave, speaking to him. He told him of his regrets, that he should have stopped Cain Marko had he not been out of sorts due to being plugged to the Genosha system. Most of the time, he wept quietly as he stared at the gravestone where Charles's name was engraved. Even though he was an android, he could feel this intense pain inside of his chest; that familiar weight of being crushed down. This was Charles's awful gift to him. This heart; these emotions; But he didn't care if it hurt. The hurt was worth everything because it allowed him to have the ability to love Charles.
A few days after that, Hank had informed him that he was working on the consciousness drive and was able to activate it, although Hank had warned him that 'Charles' was not the same and that he should brace himself when they meet. Erik had rushed to get to the lab and when he saw Charles sitting straight on the analysis table, wearing a blue and white hospital gown, Erik felt his artificial heart clip faster in his chest. He had been forewarned on what he would encounter. It was a terrible blow to him to see Charles in this state, a catatonic robot. But he did not care. This consciousness drive has a part of Charles and that was all that mattered to him. He stealthily took Charles out of HQ and took him straight to his residence, refusing to relinquish Charles even though he was to be sanctioned for his actions. He explained himself to Chief Shaw, who had understood his predicament but he knew that it was out of Shaw's hands. The government took the initiative and investigated the matter, which allowed Erik to finally rescue Charles from another terrible fate after the formal inquiry. Erik had ensured his residence was secure and that he had an internal GPS monitor which allowed him to know where Charles is at all times, thanks to Hank's help. He had recalled what Charles had said to him up in Genosha. Charles had downloaded part of his consciousness into him. What if...he collected all of Charles's consciousness, the ones that are still in the other Charlie X's that are kept at the lab and downloaded them back into Charles? He did not voice out his idea yet but when he was alone with Charles in their bedroom later that night, after Raven and Sean left, Erik scanned his own AI and found the file of Charles's consciousness. He extracted it and moved it to a data transmitter, which he attached to Charles's interface port after he gave him his energy shots. He kissed Charles's cheek gently.
"Let's see if this works, Charles-"Erik whispered and then he began the transfer. He watched Charles's face intently and then the other's chest heaved, as if a shock went through him. His eyes shone with some yellow light, which momentarily blinked out and then a soft sigh escaped his lips. Erik drew closer, hoping to see some more response from Charles but that was all he did. His eyes still gave that vacuous stare; his face expressionless. Erik was disappointed but it was worth a shot. He thought he may need more. He decided to take Charles to Hank's lab tomorrow. He dressed Charles in his blue pajamas and guided him so he would lie back in bed.
"Go to sleep, Charles. We have a big day ahead of us, tomorrow-"Erik said softly and then Charles closed his eyes and did as he was told. There was a knock at the door.
"Come in-"Erik said in a low voice and in came Emma, wearing a white nightgown which was covered over with a cream-colored terry robe.
"Erik? Can we talk?"
"Of course, Emma. Please take a seat-"
Emma sat demurely at the edge of the bed and she affectionately gazed at Charles as he slept.
"I'm glad you were able to save him from the hands of those government leeches-"
"I would never abandon him like that, Emma. You know how much he means to me-"
"Yes, yes I do. I can't even thank him enough for what he has done for us. He saved all of us up there. He pushed himself so hard. He's just the kindest and most wonderful man I will ever meet-"Emma said with feeling. Her eyes were moist as she regarded Erik.
"We've been through so much together, me and Charles; along with Raven and Sean. If only Angel had made it, you'll understand why he means so much to us. He kept our spirits up; he prevented us from going crazy. He had talked about plans of escape back there with us, giving us hope. We had argued with him and told him it was ok, that he could save himself because at that time, we thought we can no longer be saved. He refused. He wanted all of us to live as normal humans. When you were all rescuing us, I thought, finally we are all free...but Charles-"Emma finally broke down and wept. Her shoulders shook as she pressed her hands to her face.
"It was just so unfair that after everything he has done, he had to end up like this! Every day that I see him it just hurts and I know, you feel the same-"Emma lifted her head up and Erik could see her eyes are swimming in tears, her face crumpled over with anguish.
"It's ok if you give up on him, Erik. We won't take it against you. Please don't think so little of us but we've decided that it would be best if you let Charles rest-"
Erik was silent for a moment, just staring at her with narrowed eyes. Finally, "No."
Emma's blue eyes widened, her cheeks still wet from her crying."But Erik, you are just making him suffer and you are making yourself suffer!"
"No I'm not! I understand where you are coming from, Emma but I will never give up on Charles, no matter what you say-"Erik said firmly, his expression more determined than ever. He leaned close to her and stared at her face intently.
"I have a plan. It might help revive Charles. I have to gather all of his consciousness that are downloaded into the Charlie Xs; every single one of them are still at the lab and remove the programming Genosha had put in it. I will enlist Hank's help and we will return it all into Charles-"
Emma looked stunned. She opened her mouth to say something then stopped, her brow furrowed. She stared at him for a long time and then her eyes lit up with hope."Oh my God, Erik! I hope it works then-"
"Thank you-"Erik said in a quiet voice. He was relieved that she did not object to his plan. They talked some more over what lay ahead and then Emma left them both, kissing Charles's forehead. She closed the door behind her. Erik lay next to Charles and gazed at his face. He looked to be slumbering, like a human being but the only difference is that his chest did not rise and fall, like how Charles used to do it. Erik had not even considered having sex with the consciousness drive. He thought it would be a sacrilege if he did that since Charles was not whole. Besides, what use was it to make love to the consciousness drive when he knew he would not see or feel Charles reacting from within it? They only lay in bed together at night and Erik never dared to touch him intimately. He would just gently hold the other in his arms or sidle next to him comfortably but that was all. The next day, Emma prepared the outfit Charles would wear while Erik bathed and groomed him as if he was a human being. Both he and Emma helped Charles into his clothes and then afterwards, Emma gently brushed Charles's hair; at the last minute, she smoothed down his collar.
"There. You look great, Charles-"Emma said tenderly and then she suddenly started crying, throwing her arms around Charles and hugging him. More than anything, she wanted Charles back the way he was. She wished to God that Erik would be successful in his endeavor. Emma moved away, touching Charles's face one more time, even though the other stared at her blankly. Erik took Charles's hand, led him outside and helped him into the passenger seat of his car while Emma watched them from within the house as she stood by the window, silently wishing them luck. He had already sent an e-message to Hank McCoy and the other had prepared everything they will need, with the help of David 1 and David 7.
"Good to see you again Erik. Charles!"Hank greeted them both when they entered the lab. David 1 and David 7 are already positioned at the consoles and they had prepared the device needed for the data transfer. Hank had already extracted Charles's embedded consciousness from the AI of the Charlie Xs.
"Hello, Hank it's good to see you too!"Erik said calmly and went to the console closest to David 1, reading the codes and patterns of the Charlie X data. Hank had already removed the programming Genosha had added in.
"Hello Erik!"David 1 greeted him as well and Erik could tell a slight, yet imperceptible electronic lilt in David 1's voice. He had been decapitated back when they were in Genosha and had extensive repairs done to his model although his voice was never the same. It somehow distinguished him from the other Davids in that respect. David 7 had become silent and brooding lately, due to the termination of David 6. They had both been close, Erik recalled.
"Hello David. How have you been?"
"I'm fine. Thank you for asking. I've been frequently sent out for field work with Mr Logan-"
"How has he been treating you?"
"Quite well, actually-"
Ever since Genosha, Logan had been kinder to all of the androids, especially to David 1 and had been giving him special nanobot 'treats'. Perhaps it was Charles's influence. Charles stood in the middle of the room, staring off into space as usual. Hank kept looking at him uneasily. He still wasn't used to seeing Charles like this. The real Charles was flamboyant and talkative, never without his naughty smile.
"Shall we begin, Erik?"Hank said.
"Of course. Come along Charles. Lie down on the analysis table. That's it. Now I need you to just close your eyes-"Erik said softly as he guided Charles to lie on the table.
Charles did as he was told and closed his eyes. Erik reached at the side of the table for the Optical fiber connector and attached it to the back of Charles's interface port from an opening directly at Charles's neck. There was an audible click as it snapped into place and then Erik nodded to David 7, who began to activate the programming that will transfer all the other Charlie X consciousness back into Charles. Hank and David 1 monitored the activity on the blue hologram viewer to make sure there will be no disruption. Erik stood close by the table, looking down at Charles; hoping against all hope that the process would work. A soft humming emanated from the console as David 7 increased the data transfer's speed. Charles suddenly started from the table as if shocked and his eyes glowed a golden yellow, his mouth opened slightly as a low moan escaped him. His shoulders hitched upward, as if he wanted to get up but he did not do so. His hands were balled into fists as more of his consciousness poured into him. It took only a matter of minutes and when it was done, Charles slumped back into the table and his eyes closed again.
"Charles? Open your eyes. Please-"Erik said softly, bending over him. Everyone in the room rose up from their seats to see what was happening, anticipating something miraculous but when Charles opened his eyes and met Erik's own, Erik's shoulders slumped in defeat. There was still nothing of Charles in the android. He was as vacant as ever. Erik helped Charles to sit up and removed the cable from the back of his neck. He sat on the edge of the table and hugged the other to himself, even though the other sat there, silent and unyielding. Tears flowed from his eyes again as he held him gently.
"It's ok. We did our best-"Erik whispered into his ear. When he pulled back, he gave Charles an uneasy smile, and then he looked over at Hank and the Davids. They all looked sympathetic and sad that the transfer did not help in any way. The Davids had activated their emotion programming to 'empathize' with Erik.
"Maybe it's because we haven't retrieved all the Charlie Xs. There could still be some of them out there-"
"You should know better, Hank. We have logged every serial number of the Charlie Xs and all of them are accounted for-"Erik said in a deadened voice. He felt that strangely drained emotion only attributable to humans. This feeling of defeat and hopelessness seemed to drag at his insides but he realized he should not take it out on Hank McCoy. He was only trying to help. He released Charles and squeezed Hank's shoulders in reassurance.
"Thank you for your help, Hank. We'll figure something out-"
"Of course! There are other ways out there that Charles's soul could be transferred. I'm sure of it-"
Erik nodded and thanked the Davids for their help then he left with Charles, holding the other's wrist as he led him back to their vehicle. When they got home, Emma looked up hopefully from the book she was reading and when she saw the wax-like blankness in Charles's expression, she knew that they had failed. She sagged back into her seat, her eyes brimming with tears. She looked up and tried to smile at Charles forcefully.
"How was your trip, Charles? I hope you enjoyed your day with Erik-"Emma tried to say brightly.
"Oh, he did enjoy it. I showed him around the office. I wasn't able to bring him to see Logan and Jean though. They were on an assignment-"
"Well that's ok. We can...we can invite them over for dinner or something-"Emma said in a weak voice as she struggled not to cry, wiping at her eyes.
"Emma-"Erik said gently. Emma looked up at him and her lower jaw trembled. Her eyes looked wounded at the thought that Charles will always be like this forever.
"It's alright. We should never give up on Charles. There's bound to be a way to get him back-"
The tears finally spilled from Emma's frosty blue eyes."I'm so sorry Erik! Seeing him like this now...it just hurts so bad and I'm ashamed that I'm not as strong as you. I thought I was tougher than this but-"
Emma suddenly stood up and went to Charles, hugging him tightly and crying onto his shoulder. Charles just sat there, unmoving as ever. Erik just let her continue and when she was done, she exclaimed that she made a mess of Charles's new blue shirt.
"I'll take care of it. Come with me, Charles. We'll go get changed for supper-"Erik said as he reached for Charles's wrist and led him into the bed room. Erik was unbuttoning Charles's shirt but to his surprise, Charles shrugged off the shirt without being told after Erik had undone the buttons. Erik was astounded because this was the first action Charles did by himself. Was the transfer a success after all? Was it just taking its time? Erik tried to control the sudden beating of his heart as he stared at Charles's face intently. His face was still like that of an ancient automaton, vacant and unmoving. After some time, Erik reached for Charles's pants and continued to undress him. He did it again. Charles shimmied out of the trousers without being directed by Erik to sit to complete the action. If not for that blankness on his face, he would have rushed off to call for Emma to see this small miracle. He decided to keep this to himself for now. He helped Charles into a fresh set of clothing and then he reached for Charles's wrist and led him outside so they could eat the meal Emma prepared. When they were alone in bed together, Erik could not stop staring at Charles's face. Charles must be trying to tell him something. The other stared at him with empty eyes but Erik hoped that somehow, Charles was coming to life.
He slowly reached out and caressed Charles's neck."Are you there, Charles?"Still no response from the other.
"Please tell me, do you want something from me?"There was a slight shimmering from Charles's eyes, making hope rise up inside of Erik again. Charles was trying to communicate with him, he was sure of it.
"You need something. Is it an object? No? Do you need me to do something for you?"Another slight movement from his eyes.
Erik tried to guess what Charles seemed to be silently saying to him. Another idea sparked inside of him. Charles reacted by himself when he was undressing him. Could it mean that Charles needed them to touch again? But this would probably be the wrong place to do it. Emma was here and she might not understand. He decided that he will take Charles back to Logan's safe house so that he could explore and find out what Charles needed from him. It was the only secluded place he knew of that could give him this opportunity. Erik sighed and reached for him, hugging him to himself. "Go to sleep for now. Close your eyes-"
Charles did as he was told and Erik kept on embracing him as they lay in bed together. The next day, Logan and Jean came over for a visit. Emma had contacted them via her e-messaging and they said they would wait for Erik to prepare them something to eat. They sat with Charles in the living room and as usual, they talked with Charles, regardless if he will not utter a response. Later on, Raven and Sean also arrived. Emma informed Erik from the kitchen.
"Well who else did you invite?"Erik asked dryly. Emma's spontaneous mood really threw him off sometimes.
"Um-"Emma said, rolling her eyes slyly and then there was a chime from the hologram viewer at the door.
It was Hank and he had David 7 with him. Hank went to greet him in the kitchen and went off to join the others in the living room. Emma gave Erik her most winning smile.
"I didn't know we were going to have a veritable party in my own house-"Erik said dourly, wanting to have a quiet moment with Charles in their bedroom but there was no chance of that now. Emma helped him prepare some snacks for their guests while Erik did his best to put together a decent dinner for them all. Raven and Sean had offered to help but he sent them all off, wanting to put the meal together by himself. When they were all at the table eating and having a conversation and enjoying the company of friends, Logan looked up at Erik with narrowed eyes.
"So you want to go back to the safe house alone with Charles?"
Everyone had stopped talking and eating. All eyes turned to Erik. "Yes-"
"Could you elaborate as to why, Erik? This is news to me-"Jean said, eying Logan who sat beside her. Logan wiped at his mouth using the table napkin, seeing that everyone wanted him to explain.
"He sent me an e-message just now but Erik wanted everyone to be aware of what he intended to do, since you are all here anyway. He had filed a leave at the office with Chief Shaw so that he could spend a month with Charles back in the safe house. He said he wanted some time alone with him-"
"Why this sudden need to go?"Raven suddenly piped up, wondering what Erik was up to.
"I think I deserve a vacation after all these months that I have been working non-stop at the department. It is only fitting that I take my partner with me-"
"Why the safe house then?"Jean asked, equally curious like the others.
"That was where it all started for us both. I suppose I wanted to visit those moments again-"Erik said quietly and then he reached for Charles's hand, grasping it in his. Charles just sat and stared ahead with blank eyes but he made that small movement of his lids again. Erik then looked up around at the table and smiled at them all.
"Please don't take offense if I take Charles away with me for a while-"
"Oh not at all, Erik! Take as much time as you want in his company-"Emma said quickly, smiling around at everyone at the table. They all murmured their assent and agreement on this.
"It almost seems like a honeymoon!"Raven commented as she exchanged glances with Hank. Hank was obviously smitten with her as they had been in deep conversation earlier. It seems a romance might start between them, like how a relationship between Logan and Jean had formed already. Jean now lived in Logan's apartment.
"You could call it that-"Erik said enigmatically and smiled at Charles even as the other kept staring straight ahead, unmoved.
"When will you be leaving?"Sean asked, having had his third helping; he was going for a fourth. He was slightly disappointed because he had been enjoying Erik's cooking. Hence, the real reason for his frequent visits.
"Tomorrow. We'll be packing our things tonight. I was able to acquire permission to use the police vehicle provided by HQ-"
Logan suddenly sent Erik an e-message, his expression anxious. [For the love of God, don't use my bedsheets again!]
Erik quietly chuckled at that and showed everyone the e-message Logan sent him, by using his hologram viewer. The letters stood in a stark blue color before their eyes.
"Logan is still such a prude-"Erik announced with faint insolence in his voice and it had everyone laughing uproariously, much to Logan's immense shame. The night ended well, with everyone in good spirits when they left.
Driving down to the country side was quiet but Erik played some classical music for their entertainment. Then he drew the windows down, letting the wind ripple through their hair and gust over their faces as he drove smoothly down the long-winding road. When they arrived, Logan's house was in order as usual; the pantry and kitchen stocked with food. Logan made arrangements and had sent service bots to clean and prepare the place for them. The hologram aquarium blinked to life and the cool blue swirled to life with the 3D imaging of tropical fishes. Erik led Charles to the bathroom and undressed him, helping him into the tub, which he filled with warm water, foregoing a shower bath. He preferred to laze in the water with Charles since they have enough time. Erik had maintained his silence all the while, his eyes only on Charles. The other sat in the tub with him staring straight at him this time but, his eyes are still unseeing and empty. Both of them are naked, facing each other. Erik edged closer and began to wash Charles's body and when he was done, he began to get up to help Charles out of the tub but Charles did something so unexpected and shocking. He reached for Erik's wrist and held it tightly. Erik tried to compose himself as he looked down at Charles's hand holding onto him. He made the action by himself.
"What is it, Charles? Do you want us to stay in here some more?"Erik asked in a near whisper as he gazed at Charles's face. It was devoid of expression but something strange and amazing was happening. Charles turned his head slowly and faced him, even if blankness was the only thing that greeted him, there was a feeling of intent in his actions. Charles's hand kept on holding him and Erik finally understood what he wanted.
"I see-"Erik said in a low and husky voice. He released his wrist from Charles's grip and helped him out of the tub, rubbing him with a fresh towel and then he led the other into the bedroom. Erik guided him to sit on the edge of the bed and then he sat beside him. They sat quietly for some time, like before. He turned to face Charles and then he bent close and kissed Charles's unyielding lips. He lifted his arms and embraced Charles to himself, kissing him tenderly, pouring all his feeling and affection for Charles into his kiss. Erik could feel his artificial heart beat faster, his body becoming familiarly warm with Charles's nearness.
Was it a sudden glitch again that Charles suddenly closed and opened his eyes of his own volition? Or that his lips were slowly parting and softening against Erik's own burning lips? Erik did not want to break the spell of tenderness between them and kept on kissing Charles, tears starting from his eyes with the intensity of his growing feelings. He could feel the stiffness slowly melting from Charles's shoulders and then to his immense joy, Charles's own arms reached up and hugged him back. Erik finally had to pull back to look into Charles's eyes and he almost burst out weeping to see Charles looking at him gently...and with love.
Charles was himself again; the life was back in his eyes and the essential being that was Charles shone from his expression. He spoke for the first time."Erik."
Erik could not help himself when he suddenly sobbed and grabbed Charles, holding him tightly in his embrace."Charles! Charles I knew you would come back to me!"His voice trembled with feeling as he cried like a human, holding Charles and wanting to never let him go. Charles gently reached up and touched his face with gentle fingers, pulling away from him.
'Darling, wait. I'm still downloading."
"What?"Erik said, baffled. Charles did not speak again but his blue eyes glimmered tenderly up at him, a single tear trailing down slowly from his right eye. Erik held his hands and waited patiently. He was filled with so much happiness he could barely contain it! Charles's eyes closed and beneath his closed lids, his eyes were rapidly moving. A few moments passed and then Charles let out a slow breath. He opened his eyes and then he reached for Erik's cheek and drew him close in a passionate kiss. They rolled onto the bed, embracing and kissing frantically like there was no tomorrow and then Charles finally had to pull back, smiling and laughing but at the same time, tears were still in his eyes as he looked down at Erik.
"Everyone said that I should give you up Charles, but I knew you would return to me!"Erik said in a choked voice full of emotions, still holding on to him. He couldn't seem to stop crying. He felt real happiness again for the first time and it has been a while. Charles kept running his fingers affectionately over his face, understanding why he was behaving like this. He lifted a hand up and put a finger over Erik's lips.
"Shhh, I'm here now. I'm here-"
"But how Charles? How did you do it?"
"The secret of the universe-"Charles said simply, giving him a naughty and enigmatic smile.
Erik smiled down at him, rolling his eyes at Charles's teasing."Will you share it with me now, Charles?"
Charles grinned and he pointed a forefinger up at the sky."Everything happened so fast. I didn't have time. Someone shot me-"
"Cain Marko-"Erik said, his expression darkening at the thought of the man.
"Yes. And when he shot me, I only have nanoseconds to send a command to my satellite-"
"Satellite?"
Charles giggled impishly and caressed Erik's chest."I was a smart kid back then. I invented things. One of my first inventions was my own satellite. It's pretty unique because it helped me expand my consciousness. The real purpose of why I built it is so that I could hack with greater speed than the others and increase my brain capacity-"
Erik's face brightened at this revelation and he was coming to understand what Charles meant by 'downloading'.
"To save my own thoughts and my soul, I directed it to my backup drive up in the satellite before I died. Unfortunately, the coordinates were set to download everything to my consciousness drive here at Logan's house. It was the quickest instruction I could send to the satellite since I wasn't sure if my consciousness drive will still be left in Genosha-"
"You were up in that satellite, all this time-"
"Yes. But Erik...I saw everything and I heard everything you said-"Charles said, his voice trembling. Now it was his turn to cry as he hugged Erik to himself again, crying into his shoulder, his face crumpled up with his weeping.
"I thought you wouldn't understand what I wanted to happen. I thought I will be stuck like this forever, with no way to respond to you; no way to kiss you or touch you-"
"Charles-"Erik whispered softly in his ear and they started to kiss once more. Charles pulled back to softly trace his fingers over Erik's face.
"I've missed you so much, dear! I've been aching to touch you like this again-"Charles said huskily and then he rained kisses around Erik's face, his warm fingers running all over the skin of Erik's neck and chest. Charles's nerve endings were coming alive and he could feel the heat building between them as they kissed and touched, their naked bodies sliding against each other hotly. Erik was now on top of Charles as they rolled about the bed. Erik looked down at Charles for a while, just admiring the sight of Charles moving about, alive.
"What is it?"Charles said quietly, still smiling up at him.
"I just feel bad we weren't able to save your body, Charles. I...I wanted to touch the real you-"
Charles understood what he meant."But you have touched me, through my remote senses. You've also touched my soul. Even though we never truly touched intimately, I felt every kiss and every lovemaking we have done. You've made me feel so loved and wanted. For that, I will cherish everything you have done for me, Erik. Everything. We couldn't get any more intimate than that-"
"I mean your human body-"
"Erik, I don't think any of that matters now. You've taught me something amazing, you know? You taught me that anyone can love, as long as that being's mind is open enough to the idea of emotions and thoughts. Even if one only has a hypothetical heart-"At this, Charles reached up and touched the area where Erik's artificial heart is, smiling up at him tenderly.
"Feel that, my Tin man? I can definitely feel it beating for me-"
In response, Erik swooped down and kissed him hungrily on the lips again. He couldn't seem to get enough of touching or kissing him, now that Charles's true presence was in his consciousness drive. Charles's nerve endings tingled with sensations; hands restlessly running through Erik's hair and fingers tracing down on his feverish skin. The chemicals within their bodies responding in much the same way, coursing through their artificial veins and giving them both a pleasant, heady rush. Charles's legs wrapped around the sides of Erik's thighs possessively, arms going to his shoulders to draw him close.
"Love me-"Charles whispered softly against Erik's skin. Charles trembled slightly in his arms, filled with this aching need for them to unite. He had been hungering for Erik to make love to him again. He looked up at the other so that their heated gazes would meet. Letting the other see his lust; his hunger. Erik kissed his shoulder and then he positioned himself on top of him. Erik entered him slowly, savoring that wrenchingly delicious sensation of heat and tightness. He groaned softly, eyes shutting tight as he delved for it. His hips began to thrust deep into Charles, just slow strokes that quickened as they grew restless against each other, fighting for purchase to reach that orgasmic high. Charles held onto Erik's arms tight, his face turned slightly to the side. Erik could see he was aroused beyond control, biting down on his lower lip, head lolling about the pillow like he couldn't stand it any longer; blue eyes heavy-lidded with his desire. It was just beautiful, to see Charles reacting to his touch like this. Charles moaned as he rocked his hips forward for more, meeting Erik's thrusting into him.
"I love you, Erik! I love you so much!"Charles cried out recklessly then he lifted his head up to kiss Erik's lips sloppily. Their bodies drew closer to the brink of an unbearable orgasm, frantically undulating against each other and then after the promise of ecstasy, came the proof. Charles stiffened for a moment and then he let out a breathy sigh as he came, his grip on Erik's shoulder tightening for a moment and then his head collapsed back onto the pillow. They both came at the same time and Charles could see Erik's brow furrowed in concentration, still letting his own orgasm rush through him. Their bodies began to cool down and Charles breathed out in relief, holding Erik in his arms. Erik finally opened his eyes and smiled down at him tenderly, his gaze lingering as he took in the sight of Charles beneath him.
"Everyone will be happy to see you back, Charles. But I apologize if it will be some time before you see them. I've taken a month's leave just to be with you-"
Charles chuckled up at him."You did that on purpose!"
"Well I can't get any damned privacy with you when they are always around!"
Charles cackled with laughter at that and then Erik started laughing with him. After which, he kissed him deeply on the lips. When he pulled back, his eyes are glimmering with his feelings. Charles can't get over the fact that Erik was more human now than how he was before.
"Charles, can we-"Erik began solemnly and Charles knew what Erik wanted and nodded. He reached at the back of his neck and drew out his Optical fiber connector and then he began to plug it to the back of Erik's neck. Erik did the same and plugged his own cable into Charles's interface port.
"Shall we have a go then? There's more I haven't shown you yet, Erik-"Charles said in a soft voice and then he slowly lifted his head and kissed Erik again. Their consciousness met within; the colors are vibrant and rich and full of the glittering gold and blue, mingling with the the dark blue of Erik's AI. The colors shifted and they are now both flying through a vast and rosy hued light. Erik himself was not without surprises and he showed Charles the depth of his lust and his love from within his mind. Hours later, after they had made love, Charles lay against Erik's chest, a sheet covering their lower bodies and they are quiet and at peace in each other's arms.
"It was the most beautiful thing I had ever felt. Thank you Erik-"Charles whispered, his gaze languid and contented. Erik gently ran his hands through Charles's wavy brown hair, finally free of the suffering and pain he had felt when he and Charles had been apart. The net is indeed vast and infinite but the human mind, the human consciousness has more miracles that the net could not possibly compare with. It cannot encompass the depth of love and desire...tenderness and warmth. He had these now and he felt whole, understanding what Charles had meant when he said that it does not matter if they are human or not, or if they are a man or an android. The thoughts that unite them both is what matters. This is the true connection.
"Yes Charles...and we have all of eternity to see more-"
Lisa's Art (Link to Lisa's Art)
