Chapter Text
Nyota wakes up to Pavel screaming.
They’re sharing a room (along with Scotty, who is just as startled at the noise as she is) because they’re the people who aren’t fucking anyone.
Pavel wakes up before either Nyota or Scotty can do anything, and he stares at the two of them. “Did I wake you?” he asks. “I’m sorry.” He hangs his head.
“Hey,” Nyota says. She looks at Scotty and tries to express non-verbally that neither of them should touch the terrified Russian child in that moment.
Blessedly, Scotty seems to get it.
“You’re safe,” he says. “Is there anything you need?”
Pavel shakes his head.
“I don’t feel safe,” he finally says, and Nyota’s heart crushes itself in her chest.
“I’m sorry,” she says. “I really, really am.”
He shakes his head again. “Not your fault,” he says.
They all settle themselves back to sleep, eventually, and Nyota wonders if Jim’s not the only one who wants to flee the Earth. Is it that wrong to take such an opportunity, if it’s given?
“Vulcans are really xenophobic, aren’t they?” Nyota asks. She’s already tired at the thought of having to deal with that, but on another planet, but the same shining hope that has propelled her throughout this crazy journey keeps burning within her.
“We do our best to deal with prejudice at its root, but unfortunately, yes, there is a tendency to look down on what are considered less developed civilizations.”
Spock’s dad turns out to be way chiller than his son, which is something Nyota had suspected but finds really funny to confirm.
“How would they react to Spock coming back with a gaggle of humans?”
Sarek sighs. “I do not know,” he said. He shakes his head. “The primary issue, of course, is that he revealed his existence to all of you. Vulcans do not, as a rule, interfere with other planets.”
“Because you can’t or because you won’t?” Nyota asks.
He has the grace to look uncomfortable for a moment. “If you are asking whether we were watching as the people of earth descended into bloody conflict, then yes, I must confess we were. But what were we to do? Conquer the planet? Assassinate government officials, throwing the world into further chaos?” He looks very old all of a sudden. “Having interstellar flight does not make us omnipotent. You have yet to draw the attention of any of the more malevolent kinds of person out there, and so we have tried to keep out of it best we could.”
“You told Amanda.”
“I had a child by her, one with green blood. It was the least I could do. She understands.”
“It feels…” Nyota is generally much better at her emotions than Jim—something something female socialization—but putting the right words to her thoughts is harder than it has any right to be. “Earth has so many problems that this would feel like abandoning it.” She sighs. She is so young, relatively speaking, and yet already so tired. What are they going to do about Pavel? If they don’t do something he’s going to get kicked out of the country, or worse. They can’t hide him in their van forever.
“You are one woman, Nyota,” he says. “It is, of course, your and Spock’s decision.” He shakes his head sadly. “I gave up the right to choose for my son a very long time ago.”
“I have to talk to everyone,” Nyota finally says.
He nods. “I understand.”
“I don’t have anything here,” Bones says flatly. Nyota’s first impression of the man as an open wound on two legs has been repeatedly proved correct over the course of this road trip, and this is just another instance of that. “I don’t trust any spaceship, but it can’t be worse than what we have.”
Instead of just talking to Spock, or to Pavel, or to Jim, Nyota’s called a group meeting.
“My father says he can help us repair my ship,” Spock says.
“Go back to Iowa?” Jim sounds resigned. “Okay.”
“It’s not that bad,” Nyota says. “No place is entirely worthless.”
Jim looks dubious, but it’s that conversation where they all decide that yeah, they’re going to space.
They can come back, probably, pass themselves off as a bunch of weirdos or forge documents using computers lightspeed ahead of anyone on Earth. Maybe they’ll even convince the Vulcans to make themselves known.
They go back to Iowa, first. Jim’s mother is glad to see him, in her sad, distant way, and surprised to see the van full of strangers. Pavel is quiet, Bones polite, the Sulus anxious and Scotty talkative in a way that feels like it’s covering for nervousness.
Keenser joins the barn cat. The barn cat, despite its name and role being the same thing, was neutered a while ago and so this isn’t much of a probably, especially since Keenser is in the same state.
“I can’t say I’m surprised,” Jim’s mom says when they tell her the truth about Spock. “You seemed doomed to turn into your father,” she adds.
“What is that supposed to mean?” Jim asks. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
She just shakes her head and doesn’t say anything else.
“It feels weird to leave the car,” he says later. He’s not drunk.
“We will be bringing the computer,” Nyota points out. “It’s not quite the same, but it’s something.”
“What do you think mom will do with it?”
“Keep it, honestly,” Nyota says.
“You think so?”
“Parents. Sentimental creatures.” She should say goodbye to her parents, but she just can’t. She smiles at Jim. “My thoughts are turning into ‘I want’ songs.”
And that’s it. Spock repairs his ship. They leave.
Nyota’s still not sure that was the right choice, but she can’t quite bring herself to regret it.