Chapter Text
Klaus had a type. No, he really had a type. And that type was, to put it simply, blonde.
Sue him.
And he had had a day, same as he had every day for a good long while. Lay low, Elijah told him. And Klaus had listened. At first, he had listened.
But no one could keep him cooped up forever, so he snuck out with the intent to blow off steam in the most destructive way possible: get drunk and get fucked.
Elijah said sell the grief. What said grief quite like destructive? And what said destructive quite like anonymous, inebriated, unprotected sex? (Like he needed protection. He was fucking dead and had been so for a thousand years).
At least if someone recognized him during the process of getting plastered and then screwed senseless, it would be believable. And he would do anything, anything to take his mind off his lost second child (and by proxy his first), even for a minute.
So he snuck out to an anonymous and crowded dive bar across the river and compelled the bartender to keep his glass full. Good whiskey, cheap whiskey, that shit that tasted like gasoline, whatever she had.
He thinks he went through about four bottles of the stuff, because by the time he laid eyes on the man, he was drunk. And the man was exactly his type. A little bit taller than him, well muscled, decent looking. Blonde.
Sue him.
It had been about midnight when they’d started dancing and Klaus, normally not one to give up any semblance of control or dominance, let the man put his hands on his hips, his abdomen, let him pull them to touch, the man’s front to Klaus’s back. Drunk as he was, Klaus did not want to draw this out. He had a goal in mind (and also a limited amount of time before Elijah inevitably noticed his absence and came to ruin his catharsis), so he took the opportunity to grind his ass back against the man’s increasingly obvious erection.
He leaned his head back on the man’s shoulder and brought up a hand to run suggestively over his jaw before crashing their mouths together.
Hand fisted tightly in the blonde’s hair, Klaus let him touch wherever he wanted (Elijah would think it quite scandalous, the way the man had a hand down the front of Klaus’s jeans right there in the middle of the dance floor in a crowd of people).
The release of it was divine. It really had been too long and the past year(s) really had been too much.
Which is how he ended up out in the filthy alley behind the bar, back against the brick, one leg around the man’s waist as they ground against each other and the man attempted to suck hickies into Klaus’s throat.
He only just remembered to pull back and compel the guy.
“You’re not gonna remember any of this,” he slurred. “Now fuck my brains out.”
Far too drunk on both alcohol and lust, he didn’t process the man’s confused look and subsequent eye roll before he was being turned around and his pants were shoved to his ankles.
Oh yes, he breathed as the man shoved in with little more than a quick two fingers and some spit.
Nothing like a good bit of (very) rough sex to blow off steam, he mused as the man seemingly did as he was told, indeed fucking his brains out as Klaus leaned against the brick. And if he let himself be louder than he normally would, then he blamed the alcohol and the fact that he’d compelled the man to forget everything anyway, so what did it matter if he was moaning like a two-bit whore? He didn’t know why, but it always seemed to make everything feel better.
He came with a shout far too quickly for his liking, his release splattering the filthy brick and the man’s teeth on his neck.
He had absolutely no idea how he made it home that night, and even less of an idea how he did it at four in the morning without waking Elijah or Hayley. He slept clean through to the next day.
And now, things seemed to have gone a bit pear shaped, hadn’t they, he mused a few months later as he was up at five the third morning in a row vomiting up the contents of his stomach.
He had ignored the first day, it having been right after a full moon. The second day was weird, but again, ignored. The third...had him thinking back on the last man he slept with. The fourth had him wracking his brain for something his must have missed.
And he was, by the sixth morning, increasingly concerned about that eye roll he had ignored.
He washed his face in the sink and shook himself.
It’s nothing, he tried to reassure himself. Just...stress. Of not having Hope here. That’s all.
So he did what he always did when he was stressed (aside from engage in what for anyone else would be risky sex), which was paint. A lot.
That day, he was working on an Impressionist-inspired image of the street outside the window. He always found Impressionism to be the perfect distraction. You cannot be preoccupied with your thoughts when you are trying to capture a moment in time, now can you?
But that day, he found himself very distracted, moment in time be damned. The man must have been on vervain. Yes, that was why he hadn’t been compelled, because he had resisted the compulsion, hadn’t he? That was what the eye roll was that he had stupidly ignored.
And Klaus had slept with plenty of human men in his day since becoming a vampire. And nothing.
…The man had been human, right?
Klaus brushed off the thought. Of course the man was human. He would have smelled anything else. And because the man had been human, Klaus was not pregnant. No way.
He unwillingly thought back on his own situation with Hayley. A werewolf and a hybrid. So no, he could not get a human pregnant or get pregnant by a human, but…
“Impossible.”
The man being a wolf would explain the resistance to compulsion. But he would have smelled a wolf. Certainly, he would have.
That drunk AND in that filth?
No, shut up, he was NOT pregnant, he was NOT!
His head hurt.
He had been part way through the background on his painting when he caught himself rubbing at his chest with his free hand. It was getting quite sore, wasn’t it?
He threw the brush in the water cup and went to go take a nap.
*******
This canvas was making him want to scream.
A month. A month of every morning, 5am sharp, all powerful hybrid heaving up his guts. Spending his days with the curtains drawn because of his damn head. And he was starting to hate painting on large canvasses because all the movement aggravated his sore chest. Hated wearing his rougher shirts because of how the fabric rubbed against his nipples, which were now always bothering him—
He really was pregnant, wasn’t he?
When the canvas ripped, he really did scream and threw it clear across the room.
No, he couldn’t be pregnant. Not now, not now of all the times in these past 1000 years, hell, in the past two since he’d broken the curse, why did he have to get pregnant now? With his living child in mortal danger from the covens and the wolves, his bloody father having been resurrected…
Fuck.
“I suppose we shall have to call this your white period.”
Ah. Just the person who could read him like a book (and therefore the last person he wanted to see).
“I’m missing a crucial color in my palette. That of my enemy’s blood,” he growled, hoping his foul mood would chase his brother off.
“I recommend a Venetian red with a dash of rust.”
Klaus was not in the mood for this. “It’s been months!” he shouted, all of his anger and frustration at the past and present welling to the surface. “I’ve adhered to our plan, sit and do nothing, sell our grief! And now my child is safely away and another full moon is upon us. Another night of pathetic weakness as the moonlight rings steal my strength.”
Which, if his suspicions were true, could be an issue. God, he didn’t want to be pregnant, now of all times, he didn’t want to be. But if he already was…
I can’t lose another child. I can’t do that again. If I miscarry because of these stupid rings, I…
A mix of exhaustion and anxiety was evident in his voice. Indeed, Hope wasn’t the only child he was worried for now, was she?
Elijah eyed him, but remained silent.
Klaus supposed he had to tell his brother of his suspicions eventually. But not right then.
“The inertia is killing me,” is what he said instead. “I need to act, I…I…” he stuttered out the rest. “I need to spill blood.”
I need to do something this time. I will be successful in doing something.
Elijah was unimpressed. He’d located the rest of the rings, he said and a wash of relief warmed Klaus’s chest. None too soon indeed. He allowed himself to be ever so slightly happy. That is until Elijah launched into a conversation about his concern for Hayley. And how Klaus looked no better than she did (go figure). And of course, with Elijah being who he was, he had to offer up his opinions on Klaus’s relationship with her. Which Klaus did not want or need.
“She has you to help her.” And indeed, Elijah was always the better choice to help anyone.
Elijah looked away. “Sadly… like the father of her child, she prefers to fight her demons alone.”
Smart girl. They got along (—ish…big ish) for a reason, didn’t they?
Klaus went back to his paintings and tried to think of anything but the nausea brewing in the back of his throat.
*******
One thing was for sure, it felt nice to fight as part of a team again. As they tore up the intruders and snatched the last of the moonlight rings, Klaus couldn’t help but grin as he felt his newly restored strength surging through his bones, the sweet taste of revenge for the pain this particular brand of wolves had caused his family giving him a heady rush.
Truly, one better than any orgasm he’d ever had, and he reveled in it.
He celebrated by adding that missing color into some of his recent works, fresh off a dead body. Nothing better.
But none of it really fixed anything, did it? None of it brought Hope safely back into their lives. None of it cured their never-ending problems. None of it fixed his own personal situation.
He banished the thoughts and focused on the blood on his brush and the pleasurable rush of returning power flooding through his core.
*******
Klaus eyed the stones on the table with disgust.
“Why not just take a sledgehammer to them?”
“These were forged by a witch with your blood, brother,” Elijah responded with his normal degree of patience. “As such only the elements of fire and water can destroy them. I thought it would bring you greater pleasure.”
“As did I.”
Indeed, perhaps it would have, had he not spent the entire night and most of the morning sick as a damn dog and ruminating on every bad decision he’d ever made and everything he’d been unable to prevent. Namely his utter failure to protect his firstborn daughter, which he clearly learned nothing from given his subsequent utter failure to ensure a safe world for Hayley and Hope, all of which combined to form a miserable track record that left him scared out of his mind for what might happen now that he was pregnant again.
How can I do this when I have proven myself so utterly incapable?
Panic welled up in his chest and he barely resisted the urge to cover his belly with his hands in some vague gesture of protection.
“This is my fault,” he whispered, shame and thinly veiled terror clouding his voice. “All of it. If I had just accepted Hayley’s pregnancy instead of…” He grimaced. “Playing king…” His voice cracked on the last word, God, he was so stupid, how could he have been so stupid, truly had his firstborn daughter’s death taught him nothing?
How could he have taken Hope for granted, how?!
“I should have listened to you,” he whispered finally, his hand involuntarily coming up to rest on his abdomen, a gesture Elijah undoubtedly noticed, but did not acknowledge. “Instead my greed, my envy has robbed me of my daughter. My actions have led to the release of a weapon that can kill not just me, but you.”
“A thousand years I have survived your attempts to destroy me, brother,” Elijah replied softly, a hint of affection in his voice. He swept up the stones and continued on with their destruction. “I imagine I can survive this.”
Truly, Klaus did not deserve his brother. “You chase my redemption like a stone rolling up an endless mountain!”
Elijah regarded him with a neutral expression on his face. “Well no mountain is endless. Some are just steeper than others.”
Klaus watched the stones disintegrate as his brother poured water over them, once again saving him from his own stupidity.
“As much as I would like to be the one to comfort to comfort Hayley,” Elijah continued, “I believe only you can understand her grief.”
That he could. All too well.
Klaus kept his eyes fixed on the stones.
“We lost our child…I mean what could I possibly say to ease her pain?!” he looked up at Elijah as tears ran down his face.
Elijah took a deep breath and laid a hand on Klaus’s shoulder. “What did you need to hear?”
Klaus hissed in a breath at the memory of holding his dead daughter in his arms, her grave open and waiting before him.
“That’s what I’m saying,” he whispered. “There was nothing you could’ve said to comfort me, nothing! Because what can you possibly say to someone who has lost their child?!”
Elijah sighed and ran his thumb soothingly over the tendons in Klaus’s neck. “Then say nothing if nothing need be said. Just be there for her. And if something need be said, then tell her what she needs to hear.”
Often, Klaus wished he was as wise as his brother. He nodded, eyes fixed somewhere in the middle of Elijah’s chest.
“Something else is on your mind, brother.”
Klaus hummed noncommittally.
Elijah tilted his brother’s head up with two fingers under his chin so Klaus would have to look at him. “Tell me.”
“It’s nothing.”
“I can hear your heart rate and it is elevated to say the least.” Elijah gave him a moment to respond, and when he didn’t, he pressed on, resting his hand on the nape of Klaus’s neck. “If you really didn’t want to tell me, you would have brushed me off and left already.”
Klaus huffed a laugh. He was right, wasn’t he?
Elijah regarded him patiently, thumb brushing back and forth over Klaus’s collarbone. “Out with it, whatever it is. You know you’ll feel better. I even promise not to yell.”
“I think I might be pregnant.”
He hadn't actually meant to say that. The words just kind of slipped out, but Elijah was right. He did feel quite relieved having finally said it. His brother stared at him, gaze completely neutral. Klaus wondered if he planned on actually keeping his word on the ‘no yelling’ part. Elijah removed his hand from Klaus’s shoulder and took a step back, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“What makes you think that?”
“I feel exactly like I did last time. Sick every morning, my head feels like it’s being crushed...” He was unconsciously rubbing at his chest again. Shit.
Elijah rubbed his eyes.
“May I inquire as to who you suspect to be the other father? And also how you encountered this person seeing as we previously agreed you would not leave this compound until further notice?”
Klaus’s mouth twitched. “A very attractive blonde I encountered at a bar two or three months ago.” At Elijah’s vaguely judgmental look, he continued, words taking on a bit of a bite. “I needed a slight break from house arrest. And besides, what says grief like destructively getting drunk and fucking the first person you see?”
“Does this blonde have a name?”
“I’m sure, but I don’t know it.”
Elijah rolled his eyes. “You do love your one night stands, don’t you?”
Klaus was getting annoyed at his brother’s obvious judgement. “You should try it sometime, Elijah, great way to blow off steam.”
“Seeing as how a possible three children have been begotten by your one night stands, I think I’ll pass.”
“Begotten,” Klaus mocked his choice of words.
“Have you thought to test your assumption?”
“You know I did, but seeing as how I can’t leave this house—“ Elijah silenced him briefly with a sharp look, which Klaus returned before continuing. “I can hardly pick up a pregnancy test. There’s also the pesky problem that vampires don’t urinate, so it wouldn’t be of much use to me anyway.”
Elijah nodded. “A fair appraisal.” He continued buttoning up his sleeves. “I’ll take some of your blood to a clinic tomorrow and compel someone to test it. Until then, go and comfort Hayley. And maybe don’t mention this to her.”
“I’m not a complete idiot.”
“I’ll agree to disagree with you there, brother.”
Klaus was beginning to regret confiding in Elijah.
*******
“It will get better.” The words were bitter on his tongue. While not wholly a lie, it was hardly the truth.
“When?” Hayley sat curled up on the couch, head resting on her palm as she stared at nothing. “I’m immortal now. If I can’t get through today, how am I supposed to get through forever?”
Klaus could remember thinking something similar as he watched the white oak tree burn a thousand years ago, his infant daughter buried beneath it.
“You know over the years,” he said after a while, “I’ve had my share of friends, enemies, lovers…horses, and triumphs. With time they all begin to blur together.“
Hayley bridled in annoyance at the platitudes. “And your daughter? Does she blur together with something else?”
Klaus flinched hard and looked away, hands clasped tightly in front of him.
Hayley sighed. “That came out harsher than I meant it to…”
“It’s okay.” It wasn’t, but he’d caused her enough pain that he owed it to her to just swallow it.
Hayley spoke again after a long moment. “Do you still think about her?”
“Of course I do…Every day.”
Hayley sniffed and wiped a tear off her face. “God, I shouldn’t even be upset. At least my baby is still alive, safe with her aunt…”
Klaus pondered that for a good couple of minutes before responding. “I’d actually say this is harder.”
That got Hayley’s attention.
“Sure it was…horrible when it happened, but then…even though I had to live with the aftermath, it was still just…over. It was nothing like this. Nothing like actively living a lie everyday, wondering if today will be the day the charade fails and someone finds her. The paranoia, the anxiety…” he trailed off. “No, you…have every reason, every right, to be upset.”
Hayley didn’t respond, only stared at the couch cushion in front of her.
“As for making it through forever…you will find the real moments are vibrant, and the rest just fades away…”
“Does the pain?” Hayley: asking the real questions. It was truly a waste of time to try and placate her with meaningless words, wasn’t it?
Klaus couldn’t find it within himself to lie to her face. “It…gets easier to bear. The more time you put between yourself and a moment…it’s still there. It’s always there. But it stops consuming every aspect of your life.”
Hayley snorted. “Maybe I’ll believe that when I hold my baby in my arms again.”
“And that you shall!” He took her hand and squeezed it. She squeezed back. Just a little. “It’s going to be okay, Hayley,” he whispered, eyes fixed somewhere in middle distance.
“I wish I believed you, Klaus.”
Klaus wished he believed it, too.
*******
The smell of food nearly made him sick. He stopped on his way out into the courtyard and pressed his nose to his sleeve, letting the clean smell of the leather settle his near-constantly roiling stomach.
“Which high-end restaurant is missing a compelled chef?” Hayley asked as she heard him enter, focused on the food. She turned to look at him as she popped a grape into her mouth.
Klaus walked the rest of the way out into the courtyard, taking in the expansive display on the table. “Well that’s certainly a card I’ve played in the past, but this…” he gestured vaguely with his hands. “Was not my doing.”
Hayley shrugged. “Then I guess we have Elijah to thank.”
“This was not my doing.”
Klaus watched as his brother descended the stairs with a pensive expression.
Hayley frowned. “Then who…”
Something rattled ominously on the table. It turned out to be three starlings and an invitation to dinner under a platter, which could only be from their mother.
It would be reasonable to say that dread settled in all of their stomachs then.
Elijah took a deep breath.
“Niklaus, may I speak with you alone?”
“Hey, I’m part of this family, too,” Hayley objected, face darkening. “Whatever you’re going to say to him, you can say in front of me.”
Elijah’s eyes locked on Klaus’s. “Not this.”
Hayley snorted. “And why not?”
Elijah maintained the direction of his stare. Klaus didn’t appreciate it. “This is an extremely personal matter dating back centuries. It would take longer to explain than for me to simply discuss it with my brother alone.” He turned to leave. “Now, Niklaus.”
Klaus grudgingly followed him.
In the relative privacy of a hallway, Elijah pulled a small glass vial from his pocket.
“Blood, please.”
Klaus glared at him. “There’s no way I’m not pregnant.”
“I’d still like to confirm it.”
“Then confirm and deal with it when I start showing. Until then I’m the same as I always have been! Why risk someone finding out for a simple test to prove what we already know?”
Elijah stopped him from walking off with a hand on his chest. “Niklaus, if our mother is involved I need to know if you are pregnant so I also know how involved you can be.”
Klaus started to seethe, but Elijah cut him off before he could utter a word. “I failed you once already. I will not sit idly by while you lose another child. Not Hope, and not this one. Especially not to your own stupidity.” He cocked his head. “I also suspect you might just be, ah, bat-shit crazy.”
Klaus glowered at him.
Elijah held out the vial once more. “Blood.”
Klaus bit into his palm with significantly more force than necessary and overfilled the vial before shoving it at Elijah and storming off, their mother’s letter burning a hole in his pocket.
*******
Elijah was going to kill his brother, he thought as he stood in the city’s only Planned Parenthood, having compelled a technician to test Klaus’s blood.
“Are you certain?” he asked the woman.
She nodded. “Yes, this person is definitely pregnant.”
“Without a doubt?”
“Yes.”
He thanked her, compelled her to forget, and left, taking the blood with him.
Yes, he was going to murder his brother.
*******
Things he didn’t want to remember kept sneaking up on him. Like his first memory of the starlings and how they related to his mother. He crumpled up the note and stalked back in from where he had been standing on the balcony.
“It’s times like this where I’m really glad I never knew my mother,” Hayley said from where she was lying on her bed.
“We have enough enemies here,” Klaus replied, flighting to keep the panic from his voice. “And now the war for our home is to be fought against my own family?”
“Your wretched mother and her disciples tried to put a carving knife through our baby’s heart. I will happily add to the body count.”
Fair enough.
“You will do no such thing. Esther is a master in the art of possession. We know whose body she currently inhabits. We must decipher her intentions before she finds a new host.”
Throughout Elijah’s mini monologue, Klaus had been attempting to catch his brother’s eye. At the end of it, Elijah finally met his eyes and nodded slowly.
It was true. Klaus was pregnant. And honestly, he had no idea how to feel.
He should be happy he was pregnant. Or he should be furious at the dreadful timing. Instead, he just felt numb. And scared.
He pushed the feeling away. “Well, her last invitation was an assassination attempt on all her children. I think we can assume her intentions are decidedly foul.”
Elijah held his gaze. The meaning was clear enough.
No one can know you’re pregnant. No one. Or it will be used against you in the most painful way possible.
“Well then we have…this afternoon to prepare for the worst.”
The worst being someone finding out. Now, the game of hiding it from a town full of witches and vampires. Lovely.
With one last reproachful look at his brother, Elijah stalked out. Hayley rolled her eyes.
Klaus made to leave, but she stopped him before he could.
“Klaus.”
He glanced over his shoulder. “Hmm?”
“I can hear it you know.”
Klaus’s blood ran cold. “Hear what.”
Hayley stood up. “That second heartbeat next to yours.” She quickly backtracked. “Well, I guess at this stage it’s not really a heartbeat cuz the fetus has no heart, but…you get what I mean.”
He had no idea what to say, he was frozen. He only unfroze (with an undignified jump) at the feeling of someone taking his hand.
“Should I be congratulating you or driving you to the nearest abortion clinic?” Hayley asked him gently. Were he less panicked, he might have appreciated her difference to his options, but in that moment it only made him seethe.
He ripped his hand out of hers. “You think I should get rid of it, then?”
“No, Klaus, I didn’t say that,” Hayley replied patiently. “I only wanted to know your thoughts on it before I reacted.”
God, she made it hard to be angry at her, didn’t she?
He ran a hand through his hair. “I’m…I’m not getting rid of it, I…I can’t…”
“Okay, then we figure it. We find a witch we can trust, we cloak it so no one else finds out, and go from there.”
He nodded slowly. “How long have you known?”
Hayley smiled. “I had a guess at all the throwing up at ass o’clock in the morning. And I’ve been able to hear it for a couple weeks now.”
He huffed a laugh. So much for keeping it from her. “You must be angry with me for not saying anything.”
Hayley shrugged. “I thought you either didn’t know or hadn’t made up your mind about it yet.”
“And what clued you in that I knew?”
“Elijah’s nod just now.” Oh. “That’s why you gave him blood this morning, right? So he could test it.”
He nodded.
She took his hand again. “It’s gonna be okay, Klaus.”
“I wished I believed you, Hayley.”
As he left, he could guess that she wished she believed it, too.