Chapter Text
Hoseok walks into the bar that may as well be their home away from home, steps light and eager. He’s finally going to meet the elusive couple. It’s been almost four months since his return to Seoul and he has yet to be introduced to them.
He’s just glad that they finally seem to have worked out their differences with each other. He understands the pressure of putting on a façade when your private life is falling apart. He’s completely empathetic to their reluctance to hang out with them as a group.
Hoseok’s smile stretches across his cheeks, eager to make a great impression and hopefully add a little bit of the positive energy Yoongi often tells him he emanates to their lives.
His happiness turns to confusion when he sees not one, but both of his boyfriends already seated at the table.
Next to each other no less.
Their expression sours at the sight of him, shock effectively halting the words on their lips. The tainting of his happiness feels inevitable as he continues to regard his boyfriends.
“Namjoon—Seokjin-hyung---” Hoseok doesn’t understand the sight before his eyes and he doesn’t know how he wants to frame the questions swirling through his mind. The image of his two boyfriends sitting next to each other jolts his brain only marginally more than the image of them sitting so comfortably amidst his friends.
The atmosphere doesn’t feel quite right and something ugly and ominous is forming in the pit of Hoseok’s stomach and crawling its way into his heart.
“Hoseokie,” Namjoon’s voice comes out as a pained whisper that Hoseok has to strain his cochlea to hear. Namjoon looks as if he’s seen a ghost and his hand immediately seeks purchase within Jin’s own to calm his erratic pulse.
Hoseok’s voice is completely guarded and for the first time since meeting him and Jin feels a terrible sense of foreboding shroud him. He’s often been struck speechless in Hoseok’s presence, but for the first time, it leaves him feeling cold and afraid, rather than light and elated.
He feels his heart slowly unravel as his chest continues to constrict at the sight of the man he loves looking at him with such a bewildered and wary expression.
Jin feels his heart plunge as Hoseok regards him with weary distrust. The dancer’s appearance is far from the open and loving expression that Jin is used to seeing on his face and he knows that they’ve fucked up before Hoseok even opens his mouth to question them.
“What are you guys doing here? Why are you together? Do you know each other? Do you know my friends?” Hoseok doesn’t know which question he wants answered first, questions spewing out endlessly, but he hopes that someone starts making sense of this conversation soon. Ignoring the knot slowly forming in his throat, he keeps his voice light despite the shock against his system because he doesn’t want to jump to conclusions. There could be a multitude of reasons for why his boyfriends are meeting up with his friends.
Together no less… on the day he’s supposed to meet the missing couple.
Hoseok shakes his head and returns his attention to the duo, unwilling to let himself make any hasty decisions he may come to regret.
The tension does not seem to have extended to the other occupants of their little corner booth because Jimin sets down his drink and pulls Hoseok into a bone crushing hug. He would normally melt into his friends hold, but his disbelief keeps him rooted and unable to return the embrace. Something sinks and continues to plummet in his heart, and he can’t shake the feeling that he’s about to become the butt of a sick and twisted joke.
Jimin, completely unconscious to the situation slowly unfolding around him, surges on with his introductions, eager for his best friend to finally meet some of his favourite people.
“Hobi hyung,” he directs Hoseok’s gaze towards his boyfriends. They are completely still, barely meeting Hoseok’s eyes as Jimin points to them respectively. “Meet the troublesome couple. This is Seokjin-hyung. He owns the restaurant where Tae-Tae works and Namjoon-hyung works with Yoongi hyung at the company. He’s one of the –” Jimin stops abruptly, as if suddenly realising the absurdity of Hoseok and Namjoon never running into each other.
“Oh, is that how you know Joon-hyung’s name? Even though their building is a block away from the dancing studios, he’s over often enough” He says it all with a smile, a little teasing smirk as he nods towards Namjoon and Yoongi. “Even though nine out of ten times the producers grace us with their presence, it’s to complain that they can’t produce a song to whatever crazy choreo that we’ve come up with.”
He carries on, oblivious. “The nerve of these hyungs. They don’t even appreciate all of our talents and effort.”
“But Joon-hyung is super talented, so we overlook his attitude. Jin-hyung is also literally the best cook I know but please don’t tell my mum that I said that.” Jimin continues to brag about his friends, hoping to hone Hoseok’s mind on the positives of their beings, rather than all the hurtful stories he’s been hearing about their crumbling relationship.
Hoseok pinches himself a couple of times to make sure that he isn’t asleep and living through some awful nightmare. Truthfully, the auburn-haired male had not been able to focus on anything after the word couple. He’s still standing shell-shocked when Jimin nudges him out of his reverie.
“Hobi-hyung, are you okay?” Jimin’s voice sounds odd. His weird sixth sense radar finally activating and picking up on Hoseok’s sudden discomfort and rapidly declining mood. “When did you meet Namjoon and Seokjin hyung? I didn’t realise that you already knew them. I would’ve forced them out much sooner, so we could all hang out together.”
Hoseok feels himself making connections that suddenly seem not only likely, but highly plausible. Maybe they had had other reasons for not wanting to meet him with their friends. Maybe they had wanted to keep him a dirty little secret, a plaything to be used as they worked through their own emotional turmoil.
Something icy and unforgiving grips at Hoseok’s heart and squeezes. Despite desperately clinging to a sense of rationality that these are two people he loves that wouldn’t hurt him, his eyes are cold when he levels his gaze with Namjoon.
It still proves difficult to hide the mayhem playing out in his mind. He sounds a little frantic when he finally forces the words from the confines of his throat.
“Of course, I know my boyfriends, Jiminie.” To Namjoon and Seokjin he directs, “What the hell are you guys doing here? What does he mean by couple?”
Hoseok feels close to seething, something sinister setting his being alight. Their complete and utter silence does nothing to alleviate the anxiety he feels taking root in his chest, climbing up his throat to strangle him.
The tension feels palpable, thick enough for a blade to slice through. Hoseok grips his chest because his heart feels like it’s been pierced by shards of glass, stinging and woefully wrecked.
The silence suddenly feels suffocating, though it only lasts a few seconds as the others carefully start putting the jagged puzzle pieces together. Jimin’s eyes lock on Namjoon’s and Taehyung flinches from the level of animosity he finds in them. He’s quick to grab his boyfriend’s arm because the blond looks one second away from lunging across the table to demand an explanation from the couple (with his fists).
Jungkook feels lost and confused at the scene quickly unfurling before him. His eyes find Yoongi’s, pleading for an explanation, but the elder looks just as cold and angry as Jimin does. Jungkook pulls gently on his sleeve to get his boyfriend’s attention.
“Hyung…” He sounds quiet, worried about setting off anything that they can’t come back from as a group. “Hyung, what’s happening?”
Yoongi’s voice doesn’t sound like anything that Jungkook has ever heard from his boyfriend when he snarls out a, “that’s what I would like to know because there is no way in hell that what I think is happening is actually happening.”
Five sets of eyes fall to Namjoon and Seokjin, who looks like they’d rather die than face whatever is currently unfolding before them. They’re completely stricken and silent. Despite the noise emanating from the rest of the bar, an ominous stillness has enclosed them.
Jungkook holds his breath. He feels like if he concentrated enough, he could hear the tiny buzz from the fluorescent bulb above him. It feels like they’ve transcended space and their little corner booth has been teleported and cloaked in a silent void of isolation and pain.
While everyone continues to wait for Namjoon and Seokjin to defend themselves, it’s Hoseok’s voice that cuts through the stifling silence and the pure unadulterated agony in his voice has tears springing to Jungkook’s eyes.
“How could you?” He says, breaking before their very eyes. “You knew how guilty I felt about dating the both of you. You watched me cry over it and you didn’t think to mention anything about already having partners that you’re devoted to?” There are tears threatening to slide down his cheeks and seeing the pain on his face spurs Namjoon and Jin into action.
The first tear slips free as Namjoon’s hands gently cup his cheeks.
The galaxies in his eyes that have always captivated those close to him flicker and gleam as more tears continue to fall. They’re shining for all the wrong reasons and Namjoon’s world feels like it’s crumbling around him, pieces of his heart falling apart to shatter in the wake of Hoseok’s torment.
“Seokie…” Jin’s hands are slowly stroking his arm and Hoseok startles away from both of their touches.
“Was this just some sick joke to you? What even was I to you if you could just hide your life from me like that? I was opening up to you – both of you and I thought you were doing the same with me.” His voice rises in pitch as the reality of the situation continues to jar his senses. “Oh my God. How can I keep being this stupid and careless with who I give my heart to?” He takes another step away from them, a sickening thought crossing his mind. “Was I just some sacrificial lamb to fix your relationship? You’d use me and throw me away once you got what you were looking for?”
“Seok-ah, wait. You’ve got it all wrong,” Namjoon rushes to say, each word Hoseok utters stabbing him like a dagger through the heart. “We’re so sorry. We didn’t know – “
“What didn’t you know?” Hoseok is quick to interrupt him, lashing out in anger to protect himself from all the hurt crushing his lungs. “You both didn’t know that you were already in a relationship or you didn’t know that it was information that you should’ve told me? Did you tell Jin about me, so you could laugh about it at night while I was missing you both?”
His voice continues to rise, and their group is slowly drawing the attention of other patrons at the bar, but Hoseok isn’t done yet, letting his insecurities bleed into his words.
“Fuck my feelings then, right?” His voice takes on a mocking tone, “Hoseok is happy dating multiple people, so I don’t have to tell him that he’s just someone on the side I’m using for fun until my relationship works out? You know what, fuck you both. I hope that you’re happy together.”
Despite the harshness of his words, there are tears leaking a steady stream down his face as he storms out of the bar, and the utter betrayal on his face cuts deeper than his words ever could.
“Hoseokie, please wait-“ Namjoon yells after him.
Yoongi’s abruptly stands to follow Hoseok. His eyes dart to the two men with a similar idea to him, ready to spring after the auburn-haired male.
“Stay.” The gaze he levels them with is steely, sharp enough to cut glass and twice as cold.
Jin feels something deep within him shiver and he’s quick to wrap his hands around Namjoon’s wrist. The younger looks ready to chase down Hoseok, but Jin feels at a loss on how to proceed. The situation unravelling before him is everything that he’s wanted to avoid.
They should’ve known that ignoring the many opportunities to reveal the truth to Hoseok would come back to bite them.
Fear grips his heart and stills him more effectively than Yoongi’s sharp tone had. The fear of losing Hoseok is becoming a reality he didn’t think him and Namjoon could survive through.
“Hyung, what the fuck were you both thinking?”
The malice in Jimin’s voice feels entirely warranted and Jin and Namjoon both hang their heads in shame.
“We really wanted to make him happy. We were going to tell him.”
Jimin’s eyes are ablaze and Jin is grateful that Jungkook and Taehyung are holding him back, though their youngest looks just as ready to rip them a new one.
Jimin has seen first-hand what heartbreak had done to his sunshine hyung, dimming his spirit and inner light, and he’ll be damned if he lets anything like that happen again.
“If Hobi-hyung doesn’t come back from this, you’re both dead to me.” Jimin spits out, wrenching his hands out of Taehyung’s grip. The venom in his words is tinged with sadness but no one questions the veracity of his words. “I love you, but I mean it. Fix this.” He immediately follows the path Hoseok and Yoongi went down, hoping to catch them before they get a cab.
»◦◊◦«
It’s a stormy Seoul night and Yoongi gazes at his best friend lying on his couch. Despite his red-rimmed eyes, he’s coping significantly better than both Yoongi and Jimin had dared to hope.
The problem lies with his two idiot friends that caused this mess in the first place. Yoongi is so close to cracking and throwing Hoseok to the contrite and pining couple. Whenever he’s at work, his life has become a chorus of Hyung, please help us. We fucked up but we really want to make things right. We’ll do anything.
We love him so much.
Even now, in the safety of his own home, Yoongi can taste Jin’s desperation through the phone call and he feels his chest tighten with sympathy.
It’s been several months since everything went to hell at the bar but Yoongi feels like he’s aged numerous years.
“Yoongi, please, we’re so sorry.” Jin’s voice comes out as a whimper, “We just want to talk to him; just one chance to explain ourselves and if he still doesn’t want us in his life after that, we won’t disturb him anymore.”
Silence stretches between them as Yoongi’s eyes meet Hoseok’s from across the room. The dancer is wearing Yoongi’s oversized hoodie while cuddling Jungkook on their couch. Hoseok’s eyes are pleading for him to say, “no” and Yoongi genuinely doesn’t know what to do anymore.
Yoongi still feels the occasional spike of anger when he thinks of the way two of his closest friends treated his best friend. However, Yoongi also remembers listening to weeks and weeks of Jin singing Hoseok’s praises. He had sounded so in love that Yoongi had worried about his relationship with Namjoon. Even if Namjoon had been a lot more secretive about his second relationship, Yoongi knew it meant a lot to him to have someone that supported him and was understanding of his approach to work and life. He hadn’t seen Namjoon write lyrics so moving and profound since his university days.
But as he takes in Hoseok’s blood shot eyes and dulled disposition, he makes a prompt decision to reschedule this conversation for another day. He’s desperate to comfort his best friend.
Jungkook is doing a good job, but Yoongi knows, sadly from experience, how to soothe the younger until he feels his troubles melt away. If only temporarily.
He pinches the bridge of his nose and opens his mouth to give some lame excuse to end the call, but Namjoon must have grasped the phone from Jin’s grip because it’s his voice that interrupts Yoongi before he can get the words out.
“Hyung, please? He won’t answer our calls or text. Just one chance. That’s all we would dare ask for.”
Yoongi looks at his boyfriend cuddling his best friend, fingers running through his newly dyed black locks. Something tugs at his heart when he notes the down-turned tilt on heart shaped lips. It’s been a while since he has seen Hoseok so defeated and pessimistic.
He was so much happier when he was still spending time with his two idiot friends.
Despite not knowing the specifics of his relationships until the very end, he knew that Hoseok had been happier than he’d been in a long time. Before he knew that the man had gotten himself some boyfriends, he had assumed that his newfound happiness came from a sense of fulfilment from his new job and being at home where he was loved and doted on by all his friends. It wasn’t until Hoseok spoke about Namjoon and Seokjin without calling them by name that he realised that he was so happy because he was in love.
It was probably why he was still hurting so much.
Seeing how Seokjin and Namjoon had also been falling apart at the seams, Yoongi was positive that Hoseok brought out the best in his friends.
After several conversations with the couple, his anger reseeded and now all he feels is a deep sadness because three of his favourite people are hurting and he’s unsure of how to help.
All he knows is that they are truly good for each other.
He starts speaking into his phone before he can reason himself out of interfering in their relationship. It’s not his style to tell any of his companions what to do, but he’s so distraught watching his friend group fall apart, he doesn’t believe that he has the luxury of sitting this one out.
“I don’t think that he’s forgiven you yet,” He whispers into the receiver. “Either of you. Truthfully, I don’t even know that you deserve it after what you put him through.” He can almost picture the twin shamed nods that they’re both sporting.
“You really hurt him.” He has to make sure that they understand the damage that they’ve caused, though he thinks that they already know it very well. “But I think that avoiding you is hurting him much more.”
There is an audible gasp from the other side of the phone and Yoongi powers through the words before he can be swayed into being too sympathetic to them.
“You’ll both have to do a lot of grovelling and I can’t guarantee that it’ll even work. Hob-ah has been through a lot already and his wellbeing is my priority right now.”
The response is immediate.
“We understand, Yoongi-ya.”
“We’ll do anything, hyung.”
The contrition in their tone is difficult to overlook and Yoongi, despite himself, feels his heart soften.
“Good luck, fools. I’ll root for you. Don’t hurt him again.”
»◦◊◦«
Now that it’s finally happening, Hoseok’s doesn’t know how this conversation is supposed to begin. After Yoongi convinced him to meet with Namjoon and Seokjin and listen to their explanations, Hoseok had agonised about where the conversation should take place. He knew that he wanted to meet with them on neutral ground, but he didn’t want it to be somewhere public for fear of causing a scene and embarrassing himself.
Jimin had suggested Hoseok talk to them at his own apartment because it was Hoseok’s safe space and he was the only priority. They created this mess, so Hoseok shouldn’t give too much credence to their comfort. It also had the added benefit of him being able to kick them out if the conversation spiralled into painful territory that he didn’t want to deal with.
At the time, Hoseok had hugged his best friend and called him a genius, but now he thinks that they may both be idiots.
Despite being hurt and remaining cautious of their every move, Hoseok can’t prevent his mind from recalling the last time they had been in this apartment and the thoughts that had vividly accompanied his actions. The memories had plagued him long after they had gone, and he was left stewing in his own desire.
He had wanted them so badly then, both separately and together.
But that was before their lies and deceit had been revealed. He shakes his head to bring himself back to the present. His eyes fall on them sitting together across from him. They look completely sullen and Hoseok feels his chest give a soft twinge of discomfort.
Despite everything, his heart still yearns for them, but he strengthens his resolve. His days of being lied to and mistreated are over and if they turn out to not be the kind and amazing individuals he believed them to be, then so be it.
He lifts his eyes to finally meet theirs, gaze unflinching.
“You wanted to talk, so start talking.”
»◦◊◦«
Despite his extensive vocabulary, Namjoon can’t describe the sense of utter relief he feels when he sees Hoseok’s name light across his screen. He had blocked their numbers as soon as he left the bar and Namjoon was starting to think that the other would never reach out to them.
He quickly unlocks his phone to read the message.
Hoseok: Yoongi-hyung says that I should message you so you can both leave him alone.
Namjoon sends a silent thank you to Min Yoongi. This is by no means a promise of reconciliation, let alone forgiveness, but Namjoon will take this blessing for what it is. A possible olive branch for him and Jin to cling to on their path to redemption.
“Hyung!”
Jin basically skids into the room, bits of flour clinging to his face. He’s been stress baking since everything fell apart. Namjoon is grateful for the tiny sliver of good this situation brought them. They say that there is solace in shared melancholy and him and Jin have been able to further work through their differences in order to comfort each other.
They were the only two people who could understand what the other was going through and it helped them find common ground and understanding where there had previously not been any.
“Hyung, check your phone. Hoseokie is texting me.”
There is surprise in his widened eyes as he quickly scrambles to wipe his hands on his apron and pull his phone from his pocket.
“Oh my God. Namjoon-ah, me too. He text me, too.”
“What does yours say?” Namjoon doesn’t know why he’s so curious. He’s just desperately seeking any sign that Hoseok may still want them the way they undoubtably want him.
“He says that even though Yoongi is compelling him, he’s willing to listen to what we have to say when we’re ready to talk.” Jin begins, eyes scanning across the words. “Even though it’s his doing, he doesn’t like how things ended. He wants closure.” As Jin continues to read, he feels his heart getting more and more distressed. “What could he mean by that, Namjoon-ah? Do you think that he’s going to ask us to never bother him again? Joon-ah, I really don’t want that. What’re we going to do?”
“Breathe, hyung. Let’s begin by asking him where and when he wants to meet, and we’ll take it from there. We’ve been too selfish. We made decisions without including him in the process, as if he wasn’t important. It’s only fair that we respect whatever conclusion he reaches after we talk.
Jin’s voice is a wrecked mumble, “Even if that conclusion is that he never wants to cross paths with us again?”
Namjoon feels something cold close around his heart when Jin utters those words, but he knows that it is the least they owe Hoseok after everything they put him through.
“Yes, hyung, even if it comes to that.”
But Namjoon wants to cling to hope and let himself dream. After all is said and done, maybe they can slowly work their way to a semblance of friendship. Namjoon doesn’t want to even imagine a world without Hoseok in their lives. He’s positive that Jin feels the same way.
They can both only hope that Hoseok does too.
Namjoon: I’m really sorry that you felt pressured to talk to us when you didn’t want to.
But I’m infinitely grateful for your message.
Hoseokie, we’re both so sorry. You can’t imagine how much regret we both feel.
Please tell us what we can do. How we can make it better.
We’ll do anything.
At this point, Namjoon has moved over to their couch, hands trembling as he types and deletes and retypes his messages to Hoseok. Jin dusts off his apron and joins him, hand wrapping around his shoulder in a show of comfort. Together, they watch with bathed breaths as the three dots underneath Hoseok’s name appear, disappear, and reappear again.
Namjoon can almost picture the look of concentration on Hoseok face as he worries about what to send them. Regardless of the situation that they’re currently in, the thought of Hoseok carefully thinking about what to say brings a small smile to his lips.
Hoseok: Thank you for being understanding.
Let’s meet up when we’re all available. I’ll listen to whatever you both have to say to me…
Hoseok is still typing but Namjoon immediately types back a response and watches the three dots disappear.
Namjoon: Seokie, we’ll meet you whenever it’s convenient for you.
Just say when and where and we’ll be there.
Hoseok: I’m upset, but I’m not going to make some unilateral decision without consulting both of you. You have work and hyung has a restaurant to run.
Despite Hoseok not intending the words to cause any harm, the irony of them is not lost on Namjoon and Seokjin. If only they had talked to each other and were honest from the beginning, they may be living a happier life now.
Namjoon can’t believe how Hoseok is real. Losing him would be the greatest loss him and Jin will have ever experienced. Despite the pain they brought him, he’s still so conscientious of their time.
Namjoon: We’re truly so grateful that you’re you, Hoseokie. You’ve always been so thoughtful and we’re so sorry that we didn’t show you the same consideration.
Seriously speaking, though, Seokie, we’ll do anything for the chance to see you, so please just say the time and place and we’ll come running.
Hoseok: Uh, thank you for saying that…
In that case, we could meet on Friday after I leave the studio. You both know where I live, so let’s meet at my apartment at 7?
Namjoon: Friday evening is perfect, Hoseokie…
But do you really want us back at your place?
Hoseok: Is it a problem? I didn’t really want to meet somewhere public…
We could always meet at the company if you would prefer?
Namjoon: Of course not.
It’s not a problem at all. It sounds perfect.
We’ll see you on Friday.
Hyung also says, “Thank you for giving us the chance to explain ourselves.”
Hoseok: Sure. I’ll see you guys. Have a nice day.
»◦◊◦«
Now that they’re here, Namjoon doesn’t even know how to convince Hoseok of the depth of his and Jin’s regret and their determination to make things right.
He has had more than enough time to gather his thoughts and discuss a plan of action with Jin, but looking at Hoseok’s rueful face, the sorrow that shines through despite how desperately he is trying to mask it, Namjoon is struck utterly speechless. He’s gripped with an overwhelming urge to just cry and beg for forgiveness until he can pull the slighter man into his arms and keep him with them forever.
“Seokie,” Jin breathes from besides him, voice more air than actual sound, but it’s enough to snap Namjoon out of whatever hole his mind had decided to crawl into.
“Hoseokie, I know that we’ve said this about a thousand times, but we’re so sorry.”
Hoseok’s starry eyes land on Namjoon and his voice trembles when he asks, “why didn’t you just tell me? Was I not worth it?” His voice grows steadily weaker as his heartache bleeds into his words. “You both said that you could love me, but how can I believe that when you were both hiding such a significant part of your lives from me? How would I even begin to trust you again?”
Shame clings to the couple like a second skin, heads bowed as they take in Hoseok’s words. He’s still shaking silently in front of them, struggling to keep the tears gathered at the corners of his eyes at bay.
Without thinking it through, they move as one to Hoseok’s side, drawing each of his slender hands into their own.
“Seokie, baby… Please, listen to us. You’ve got it all wrong.”
“And we know it’s all our fault.” Namjoon adds quickly. “You have no idea how much we love you, Hoseokie. I’ve loved you since you first smiled at me. I was covered in iced Americano, but I hadn’t been able to see anything past your radiant smile and the galaxies in your eyes.”
Hoseok’s eyes continue to water and Namjoon doesn’t know how to convey to him the depth of their love.
They continue to stare at each other. Hoseok wants so badly to believe them and cling to every reassurance coming out of their mouths, but his mind is shrouded in doubt and mistrust.
“Why wouldn’t you just trust me and tell me? You let me suffer with the knowledge that I was forcing you guys to share me. The guilt ate at me and I was always so certain that one of you would get fed up and break up with me. You knew I was struggling with it and you said nothing. How can you say that you love me when you were able to look me in the eye and lie?”
There is a tense silence shrouding the trio, but their hands remain stubbornly attached to Hoseok’s. They’ve been away from him for so long and neither man can bare the distance between them when Hoseok is right there. They are grateful that he hasn’t shrugged them off yet. If they thought they were making him uncomfortable, they would immediately let him go, but he appeared to be drawing as much reassurance from their contact as they were.
“Hoseokie, how can we convince you of how much we love you?”
Their question goes unanswered when Hoseok asks one of his own.
“Is this the reason why you both got so awkward when we got physical? Did you suddenly realise that I wasn’t the person you truly wanted to be with? Did you realise that you didn’t want me?”
Jin makes a startled and aborted sound in the back of his throat as Namjoon viciously shakes his head no.
“Hoseokie, pulling away from you, when we were both so wanting, was one of the most difficult things that I’ve ever done. I know this isn’t the moment for any of this, but Hoseokie, you’re breath-taking. I want you so much, it terrifies me a little.”
Hoseok’s gaze falls back on Namjoon, brain finally catching up with the vulnerable position he’s been placed in with them basically cradling him in their arms.
He jerks suddenly, watching with a bittersweet sense of relief as their hold gets shaken off.
“If it was so difficult, why did you do it?”
“Guilt,” Jin breathes out. He’s been mostly silent, but there is a determination in his eyes now, begging Hoseok to understand. “I felt so guilty. Things still weren’t working out with Namjoon-ah and here I was, falling in love with this angel of a man that I didn’t deserve.”
“That’s how I felt, too.” Namjoon reinforces the point. “It didn’t feel right to allow myself to be so happy with you when I was convinced that I was making hyung miserable. I didn’t want to betray him like that.
Tears that he’d been struggling to hold back, finally break free from the confines of his starry eyes.
“But neither of you cared enough to think about my feelings. You both continuously betrayed me without hesitation.”
The truth in his words shun them into another moment of remorseful silence.
Namjoon dares to place his hand back atop Hoseok’s. “We did. We literally have no excuses, but Hoseokie, please. We’ll do anything to prove how much we love you.”
Hoseok takes a shuddery inhale, a breathless sigh escaping his lips on the exhalation.
“Can I ask something else?”
“Yeah, Seokie. Of course. Anything at all.”
He takes a deep breath.
“When did you both find out about me?”
“The morning before you did.”
Hoseok accepts the answer, some relief washing over him. “So, it wasn’t some elaborate scheme to make the other person jealous by getting a clueless moron to fall for you?”
“Oh my God, no. Baby, you know us. We’d never do anything like that,” Jin says quickly. “I know we don’t have any credibility sitting here, but Seokie, we never wanted to hurt you. Never.” Jin takes a deep breath and turns his head to meet Namjoon’s eyes for the briefest of moments. “I will admit that I was jealous when Namjoonie started coming home looking half smitten.”
“And you thought that you should also find yourself someone?”
“It was just a thought that I entertained when I was talking to Yoongi. I wasn’t really planning on acting on It until I met you. I was worried that Namjoonie would leave me because he looked so happy talking about you. I thought it was just a matter of time, really.” Even though him and Namjoon have since cleared the air, Jin still rubs his back soothingly with his free hand.
“I thought that I should also put myself out there. I haven’t dated anyone besides Namjoon, I didn’t really know how to do it. I thought I’d just talk to some cute guy that caught my eye to test the waters. I didn’t realise that I was going to meet you.”
“I was just testing the waters?”
“Of course, not. Seokie, I thought I was just going to sit around aimlessly and play maple story and meet some stranger online, but then you were suddenly there.” Jin pauses, takes a soft breath as his eyes fall on Hoseok’s soft features, “Seokie, you’re an absolute vision. it’s difficult not to immediately fall for you. I couldn’t get you out of my mind after I met you. I disturbed Yoongi-yah a lot talking about you. If only I’d revealed your name, but I was so worried and new to all this. After you text me, I thought, I could really be happy with this one.”
“You both realise that you only fell for me,” and he says it with scepticism in his voice, still disbelieving of the fact that they could both love him, “because you were unhappy with each other. That’s clearly not the case anymore. I don’t want to be some pity boyfriend you keep around because you feel guilty. I don’t think I could handle that.”
They both shake their heads in denial, desperate to prove how wrong he is.
“Seokie, there is another reason why I stopped that evening. I wanted you so badly, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Namjoon, but it was the same at home. As Joon and I worked things out, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I kept wanting to find a way to introduce you, but I was worried how Joon-ah would react because he seemed to have already found a new special someone. It was a bittersweet moment when we found that that we’d fallen in love with the same person. The relief was palpable, but it was drastically overshadowed by the horror I felt knowing how betrayed you would feel.”
Namjoon nods his head, agreeing with Jin’s words as he continues to stroke Hoseok’s hand with his thumb.
Despite the honesty pouring out of their very cores, Hoseok still appears apprehensive.
“Do you actually want me? Think about it. Now that you’re both happy together, is this something that you really want? Polyamory isn’t for everyone. People think it’s exciting at first, but it’s difficult to maintain. We have to communicate a lot and that doesn’t seem to be a likely situation with either of you.”
Namjoon and Jin had indeed talked about it. While they were undoubtably on track to re-establishing their love for one another, it would remain incomplete knowing that Hoseok was out there existing, knowing that he could be a part of them and that they could love him more than anyone else in the world.
“Hoseokie, you make us better. We want to be good for you. Please just give us one more chance.”
Hoseok’s eyes haven’t stopped watering. He’s given up on all pretence of appearing strong and nonchalant. He’s very much still in love, but it’s tainted by mistrust and ugliness.
He doesn’t want to start any kind of relationship on lies and past deceits.
But he loves them so much.
“Hoseokie, please let us prove it to you.”
And they’re suddenly much closer than he remembers, and his eyes flutter closed of their own accord. He feels twin lips against both sides of his cheeks and his heart gives a brief stutter.
“Seokie, baby, please just be ours.”
But there is still the doubt in his mind, spoiling this for him, preventing him from being careless with his heart.
“I can’t. I want to, I want to so badly, but I can’t. I don’t want to jump into this because I’ll always feel insecure and doubtful. I don’t want to put any of us through that. I believe that you never meant to hurt me, but you did, and it scares me how quickly I gave myself to you before I truly knew you.”
Namjoon’s heart beats an anxious staccato in his chest and he feels the shred of hope that they tried to maintain die with a silent whimper.
“Hoseokie, please don’t cut us out of your life,” Jin begs, willing to take any compromise that doesn’t see this angel walk out of their lives.
“Can we try to just be there for you then, Hoseokie? We’ll do anything. We can try to be friends before anything else.”
Hoseok looks up, eyes bloodshot from all the crying he’s been doing, and he’s still easily the most gorgeous being that Namjoon and Seokjin have lain their eyes on.
“Won’t that be painful?” He asks, “I don’t want to hurt you by being there and not giving myself to you?”
“The most painful thing would be not having any part of you, Seokie. Of course, we’ll always want you, but we’re happy to work through our own feelings as long as we get to keep you in our lives. We’d gladly take your friendship over nothing at all.”
There is a moment of hesitation as Hoseok wars with two sides of himself. He wants to let himself fall into this, but he’s so desperate to hide his vulnerabilities and insecurities from these men that hold so much power over him.
A moment passes as he reaches a conclusion that he can be satisfied with.
“I’m scared.” Hoseok admits, softly, but there is a burning desire to give this one more try. It’s the first time that they are appearing as raw and exposed around him as he always feels around them.
Friendship, it could be a safe middle ground while they learn to be around each other without seeking more from the other.
“Please, don’t be scared, Seokie,” Jin soothes, bittersweet tears gleaming in his eyes as he tenderly wipes Hoseok’s cheeks.
“We’ll show you that you can trust us again.” Namjoon’s voice is the gentlest Hoseok has ever heard it, but there is determination lighting a fire behind his eyes and Hoseok knows that he’s never going to stop loving these men, regardless of what form that love comes in.
And Hoseok throws caution to the wind and lets himself be enveloped in their strong arms. He could do this – making friends was never something he had struggled with.
»◦◊◦«
They were supposed to be friends, learning how to be around each other without wanting more. Hoseok was learning how to trust them again and they were learning how to toe the line between friendship and romance.
But Hoseok is finding it difficult to preserve his platonic relationship with the way Namjoon and Jin have been acting. It’s been several months of maintaining a tightrope friendship and the couple is clearly done playing that game.
According to Taehyung, they’re pulling out the big guns to win back their man and he’s totally here to witness it.
Namjoon must have been feeling ridiculously inspired lately because he’s made Hoseok a grand total of twenty-six tracks; exciting beats for him to dance to and soft ones for him to listen to at night that break his heart only to stitch it back together again.
It’s difficult to not think about the potential of them being something more when Namjoon produces songs about Hoseok being a metaphorical sunshine that stopped the rain in his stormy life. Even though the clouds have disappeared, Namjoon still misses the lingering warmth of the sunshine that disappeared once it thought it was no longer needed.
Namjoon just wants his sunshine back.
Jin has also decided to pull all the stops. Nearly every day, there is a new meal at his office table. Something delicious and healthy that he can eat even with his strict diet.
He throws a look at Jimin and Jungkook sitting on his office couch as they immediately start digging into the food.
“How does he keep delivering it at exactly the right time of day? I don’t understand how it’s always here whenever I get to the office. No one really knows my schedule outside of the other choreographers.”
Jungkook promptly chokes on the piece of chicken he was inhaling and Jimin throws him a suspicious glance.
“You alright, there, Kook-ah?”
“U-uh, y-yeah. I’m g-great.” He coughs some more, a flush spreading across his cheeks. “Just swallowed wrongly.”
Hoseok plops himself between them, not noticing the way Jimin continues to throw suspicious looks towards their youngest friend.
“What am I doing with my life?” He ponders as he snuggles into Jimin’s warmth.
He gives an appreciative hum as Jimin pulls him closer into his chest, petting his hair and scratching lightly at his scalp.
“Hobi-hyung, I know they hurt you, and I’m still a little upset with them, but they’re so sad. Clearly this friendship thing isn’t working for them, despite what they say. Please just do something. I’m getting depressed watching them try so hard.”
“I’m not upset with them anymore. I forgave them a while ago. Truthfully, I’d forgiven them before we even had the talk in my apartment.”
“Then what’s holding you back,” Jungkook murmurs as he finally stops eating Hoseok’s food, putting the leftovers away and snuggling into Hoseok’s chest.
“I’m scared.”
“That they’ll hurt you again?”
It’s still early in the morning and their hushed voices calm Hoseok’s heart. He’s once again grateful for all his friends that have continued to love and support him.
“I don’t think that I could handle it if they betrayed me like that again.”
“And you’re scared that they will?”
Hoseok thinks about it before shaking his head in the negative. They had seemed sincere in their apologies and have done nothing but support and encourage him since they started this tenuous platonic friendship, despite them obviously wanting more. They were trying so desperately to be considerate of Hoseok’s feelings that he didn’t (couldn’t) believe that they had it in them to hurt him again.
“Then what’s got you so worried, Hobi-hyung?”
“I guess I’m just anxious about jumping into a relationship with them because I know how insecure that I can get. They have this long history together before they ever knew that I existed. What if I give my heart to them only for them to realise that they actually don’t need it and they were complete just by themselves? How do I even compete with the love they’ve sheltered for each other? It’s difficult not to feel like an intrusive home-wrecker-“
Jungkook immediately cuts in. “Hyung, you’re not a home-wrecker. They love you so much and they wouldn’t make you feel left out.” He says determinedly, and Hoseok smiles at Jungkook’s attempt at subtlety. He knows that he’s been rooting for them since the very beginning and he’s so grateful that none of his friends have pushed him to make any decisions before he was ready. “If anything, they’d smother you in their love. You wouldn’t be able to breathe, let alone have time to feel anxious and insecure.”
Jungkook snuggles deeper against his side, wrapping his arms around Hoseok and Jimin both. “Hyung, you deserve to be happy, and for what it’s worth, you seem really happy being around them.”
Hoseok feels the truth of the words kickstart his beating heart. Namjoon and Seokjin were certainly worth the initial anxiety and fear that would come with any new relationship.
“When did my baby get so mature?” He teases as he presses a kiss to Jungkook’s temple and lets himself further relax into their hold.
They still have an hour before they have to go to their respective lessons and Hoseok lets himself dream about the endless possibilities.
Snuggled between two of his closest friends, he finds it easier to let hope take root in his chest.
He dreams of that hope blossoming into a beautiful love that he’ll be able to nurture with Jin and Namjoon.
As his eyes slip shut, there is an imperceptible smile on his face that makes Jimin and Jungkook feel like everything is going to be okay.
They continue to cuddle their precious friend, sending all their goodwill into the universe to allow Hoseok to make the best decision for his life and for him to be as joyful as he can because no one was more deserving of happiness than he was.
»◦◊◦«
Another Saturday night finds the group of friends back at their favourite bar. The mood is festive and enjoyable; everyone celebrating the opening of a second branch of Jin’s restaurant and this one is to be managed by Taehyung.
The drinks have just started flowing when Hoseok comes strutting in, collar bones exposed in the white button-down shirt that he’s chosen to wear for the occasion.
He’s here on a mission, determination fuelling his every step. He has let himself be cautious and afraid, but it’s finally time for him to let hope shine and be a guiding light as he finally lets himself have the love he craves and reveres.
He glances at the couple sitting and chatting amicably at the edge of the booth and feels his smile broaden.
Neither Namjoon nor Jin notice him until Jimin calls his name over the noise, whistling as he notices Hoseok’s outfit.
“Hyung, button your shirt properly and put those weapons away!”
Hoseok’s confused expression is ridiculously endearing when he stutters out a startled, “Eh?”
“Cover up, I’m not defending you from idiots trying to hit on you if you’re going to walk around looking like a whole meal.” Jimin chastises him playfully. “Yoongi-hyung, look at this baby trying to break hearts tonight. Do something about him.”
Yoongi just checks him out, offering a low whistle as Hoseok greets him with a side hug.
Hoseok blushes at the unexpected compliment from his best friends while Namjoon – recovering from a minor stroke when his eyes caught sight of Hoseok – nudges Jin with his elbow. “I think Jiminie just called us idiots, hyung.”
Hoseok smiles in his direction, lip gloss sparkling and eyes gleaming and Namjoon promptly chokes on the drink he was sipping to cool down.
Jin pats him gently on the back to calm him down until he realises that Hoseok is walking directly towards them, him specifically, and he startles and hits Namjoon harder than necessary, prompting another chocking fit from the blond man.
“Are you okay, Namjoon-ah?” His voice is a soothing balm against Namjoon’s bruised ego.
Namjoon suddenly finds speech impossible, nodding distractedly as Hoseok slides past him to sit beside Jin, handing the older man a small gift wrapped in gold wrapping paper.
“Congratulations on the new restaurant, hyung.” He gives the man a beatific smile before sliding past the both of them to give a similarly wrapped present to Taehyung.
“You’re going to be a boss now, Taehyungie. Hyung is looking forward to all the delicious food that you’re going to cook for him.”
Namjoon and Jin remain awestruck when Hoseok returns to sit besides them, smile lighter and more stunning than they’ve seen it in a very long time.
Yoongi snorts from across the table, shaking his head in mocking satisfaction as Jungkook hides his laugh in his boyfriend’s neck.
“They’re so transparent, hyung.”
Namjoon makes an undignified sound in the back of his throat, excuses falling from his lips as his friends continue to tease them about their blatant and unrelenting attraction to Hoseok.
“Can you blame us for staring?” He says, completely serious, sweeping his hands over Hoseok’s entire body. “Look at him.”
Hoseok startles out a laugh, “Thank you, Namjoonie.”
“I think you look incredible too, Seokie.” Jin is quick to contribute, eager to shower Hoseok in praises and compliments now that he seems more accepting of their subtle blatant flirting.
His grin morphs into a playful chuckle, eyebrow quirked at the blatant longing in both of their eyes.
“Thank you, Seokjinie. You both look lovely yourselves.” He’s unashamedly checking them out and Yoongi fake wretches as Jungkook continues to giggle at the twin looks of stunned silence painting Namjoon’s and Seokjin’s faces.
From besides him, Hoseok hears Jimin whisper into Taehyung’s ear. “Oh my God, I think it’s finally happening!”
Namjoon’s eyes are wide saucers as Hoseok moves over, carefully placing himself between Namjoon and Seokjin. Something in his expression softens as he regards them each, taking one of their hands into each of his smaller ones.
“So, I was thinking that we should talk again…”
“About?” Jin breathes out, voice barely above a whisper.
“How much I still love you guys and want to be with you…” Hoseok begins, losing some of his bravado as they continue to stare at him in awed silence. “You know, if you were still into that sort of thing.”
The twin gasps from the couple’s lips is something that Hoseok thinks that he’s going to remember for the rest of his life.
He’s immediately enveloped by their solid bodies, warmth seeping into his entire being, even as he feels wetness soak into the collar of his shirt.
He lifts his head to see tear tracks painting both Namjoon’s and Seokjin’s cheeks and something warm settles in his heart, filling him with emotions that make him float and give him the confidence to press his lips to theirs in a soft kiss.
Namjoon makes a soft whimper behind his throat as Hoseok pulls away to press an identical kiss to Seokjin, tender and full of the love he carries for the both of them. He holds them close, letting his heart soar as happiness consumes his entire being.
“I love you so much,” Seokjin breathes out, relief intertwined through his every breath. “Love you so much, Seokie.”
Namjoon presses another kiss to his forehead, heart light with happiness as Hoseok continues to smile at them, eyes gleaming with unshed tears and this time, for all the correct reasons. “Never stopped loving you, Hoseokie. Thank you.”
»◦◊◦«
It’s Saturday night and Namjoon and Seokjin are the happiest that they’ve ever been in their lives.
Hoseok is sitting on Namjoon’s lap as Jin peppers his face with tiny kisses. Across the table, Yoongi makes a gagging sound, “Is this how you repay me for trusting you with my best friend? I don’t want to see this.”
He’s whining and Jungkook kisses his boyfriend on his cheek to placate him. “I think they’re cute, hyung. Be cute with me, too.” He makes bambi eyes at him until Yoongi gives in and kisses the pout off his lips.
Jimin rolls his eyes so far back that Taehyung briefly worries if they’re going to stay stuck there.
“I can’t believe we’re the boring normal couple now, Tae. Omg, what happened?”
Taehyung just laughs at his boyfriend, deep and breathy, and pulls him into a kiss. “Speak for yourself. I’m still full of spice!”
Hoseok looks on at this ragtag bunch of people that he loves. Despite the hurdles that had almost broken them, he’s so grateful to love and be loved by these two incredible men.
He sinks further into Namjoon’s hold, his hand finding Jin’s and intertwining their fingers.
Namjoon and Seokjin stare at Hoseok, completely awestruck and eternally grateful that they are now able to claim this man and call him theirs. They weren’t always picture perfect, but their relationship was worth the picture still.
Nothing would stop them from working together to continue to nurture this love that they have built for each other. There would be more disagreements in the future, “should we get a new apartment or should Hoseok move in with us?” “Don’t you think you need to take a break every now and then?” “Would it kill you to just say that you’re struggling and ask for help?” but together, they would communicate and compromise, so that they could all thrive within the corners of their unconventional relationship.
Hoseok accepts the two kisses pressed to his lips, one after the other and his heart swells with happiness.
“I love you,” he says sincerely, heart warm and full of mutual adoration. “I love you both so much.”
And their answering “I love you, too” is everything that he has ever wanted.
The End~