Chapter Text
The first thing I saw when I woke up was the ceiling above my head. The first thing I felt was my chest heaving. The first thing on my mind was her. Nika. I hadn’t seen her in so long. I hadn’t felt her soft touch dragging across my arms, running through my hair in a way that drove me insane.
I thought back to the dream for a moment. I saw her. I saw her smile, that beautiful smile that could brighten up a room if she wanted it to. There was always a glitter in her eyes, whether it was to find Lee, or to keep her brother from panicking. That glitter in her eyes covered the hazel hues whenever she smiled, her cute dimples that were etched into her skin that made the sight of her so much sweeter.
I could sit there for days, and imagine all of her features perfectly. Even if our time was so short together, even when she was so focused on finding Lee and saving her, if I could draw, I would make a perfect image. It would be a bad sort of substitute for her. At least then I would have a picture; which was more permanent than my memories.
I couldn’t let go of her, not even for a second and for every second of the many days that had passed since I saw her laid up in that hospital bed, with tubes piercing her skin and her heart rate being measured by that tedious beeping sound, the thought of never seeing her again made my heart ache. It was a constant pain in my chest that I couldn’t shake. It stopped me from forgetting her. Only in that way was I grateful for it.
Murphy could see how I was different. He could see the distance I had put between myself and the world around me. Particularly, Kaylee. I had nothing against her, she was strong, resilient and beautiful and she was perfect for Murphy. But every time I looked at her, I saw Nika next to her, smiling, giggling at something. I could practically hear her Italian accent pouring over her words like golden honey.
Every time I looked at Kaylee, I saw what I didn’t have.
Her brother had kept in touch with Kaylee. When she revealed that, I decided that I would have to swallow my hallucinations and listen.
It took her a week to wake up from the coma. I couldn’t help but imagine how she would’ve felt. Murphy snapped me out of that one quickly, he never told me why and I never expected him to.
She hadn’t gone back to work as a CSI, she wasn’t cleared for field work and had almost been fired for going against an order. They put her on desk work until she was psychologically cleared for work.
She had disappeared yesterday. Gone missing. Her ex-boyfriend called Lee to tell her, she didn’t tell me, but I could tell what it was in her eyes. She wasn’t anywhere you’d expect her to be.
Her brother had moved in with her to keep her safe after Kaylee had moved to be with Murphy. Angel, his name was. I remember him. He helped us to rescue Kaylee, he was the man on the phone. He didn’t look like much like his sister.
Angel didn’t like her ex-boyfriend, Danny. That’s what Lee said. Angel was always giving him shady looks for hurting his sister. Whenever Lee talked about Angel, her voice dropped to a soft tone. As if she didn’t want Murphy to hear. I said nothing, it wasn’t my place to engage.
Danny was the other man by her side before she was taken away from me in the ambulance. I didn’t like him. He was antagonising her, smothering her. If I had her, I would give her whatever space she needed and come back when she wanted me to. Just so I could have her wrapped in my arms, with her head on my chest and her arms around my waist as she tried to pull us even closer.
I don’t know what pulled me out from under my covers and away from my bed. I always thought of that force as God, calling me. It seemed to fit.
I can never exactly remember what was floating through my mind as I went through my daily routine and got myself dressed, pulling the buttons of the pea coat through the holes with a practised ease.
I could hear Murphy asking what I was doing, accompanied by the odd look on Kaylee’s face, the two were oddly in sync. It was cute in a way.
I only shook my head and kept walking, out the door. As I walked out, I heard Da calling after me, asking the same thing that Murphy did. I didn’t stop, didn’t turn around. I think he figured it out as well. Or that he resolved it was better to wait to see what would happen later.
I was led to the airport, never really sure how I knew where to go. I just did. That was the main thing. I felt a shudder wash over me and suddenly sparks were flying across my skin as if that was my sign that I was meant to be here. I thought of all the reasons why I could be here. I don’t know why it took me so long to realise it. Her. Nika. Maybe she was coming. Maybe she didn’t disappear, they just couldn’t find her. They just couldn’t figure out where she was going. Maybe, just maybe, she prayed to God, and God had brought us together.
I twisted myself around in every direction possible, just to look for her. I let my breathing begin to increase, well, it wasn’t much of a choice, I couldn’t help it. What if I was going insane? What if she wasn’t coming? What if I got myself worked up for nothing? What if she truly was missing?
Then, I saw her. She was grinning at me. I let out a chuckle of relief as she wrapped her arms tightly around me. I didn’t even mind the tightness of her grip as my shoulders relaxed under her gentle touch. I quickly lifted her and swiftly spun her around, burying my nose in her soft curls and laughing with glee. I praised God for bringing her to me, safe and smelling like cherry coke. I found that adorable.
I set her down on her feet, loosening my firm grip on her but pulling her close and up flush against my chest. I moved my head so my lips were now by her ear. “Nika.” I couldn’t stop the hum that fell from my lips.
I pulled away from her ear and let her lean back in my arms, letting my gaze wander over her. The caramel coloured curls that framed her gorgeous features, then came her slender neck and slightly curvy frame, accentuated by the green dress that she wore. “Jesus.” I couldn’t help breathing out. God, she looked beautiful.
“I thought I’d be cute.” She offered, with a smile and before I could say another word, she quickly pulled from my grasp and twirled for me, making me chuckle.
“You’re always cute.” I murmured, grabbing her hands and linking our fingers, pulling her close to me. She shrugged and let me lead her, making no objections. “I missed you.” I told her, unlinking our hands and pushing a stray strand of hair behind her ear, my hand trailing to cup her cheek delicately.
She wrapped her hand around my wrist gently, looking at me with a sweet smile. “I missed you too.” She murmured just loud enough for me to hear over the crowd of people, who were bustling around us, gently bumping both of us every once in a while.
“Let’s get you home.” Her smile widened, her dimples dipping into her soft skin.