Chapter Text
He'd thought taking a selfie with Elizabeth would be an easy way to show Jumin he cared enough to make sacrifices for him, but he hadn't considered how close he'd actually have to get to the furball to pull it off. He didn't want to hold her or lie down on the floor, so Jumin had to compromise by using treats to lure her into climbing up on one of the top platforms of the cat tower. At first she would immediately leap back down after eating the treat, but eventually she settled on the platform long enough for Zen to get a picture with her. She rubbed her head against his cheek before he had time to withdraw, and he jumped back in surprise. Weren't cats supposed to be aloof? He supposed he couldn't blame her for being affectionate towards someone as good-looking as he was, but unfortunately the effect it had on his face was devastating. His eyes were already getting itchy, and his nose was starting to run.
"Let's get you some fresh air," Jumin said, keeping his promise not to laugh at the puffiness of his face as he pulled him along to the balcony.
"Thanks," Zen sniffled, "I guess there's really no miracle cure for cat allergy."
"There are different forms of treatment you could try," Jumin said, "I'll cover the expenses."
Zen's initial instinct was to say no, but he made himself swallow his pride. If he really wanted things to be more serious between them he would have to start compromising, "Normally I'd react just to being in the same room, so it's not like it didn't work at all," he mumbled, "but I'm willing to try looking for more effective alternatives. To be honest, I'm actually jealous of her sometimes. I want you all to myself. But I know she means a lot to you, and I don't want you to have to send her away every time I'm here."
Jumin was pulling him closer, and Zen tilted his head away when he realized he was going in for a kiss, "Don't. I'm all gross right now."
"I don't mind," Jumin insisted, taking hold of his chin to turn his face back towards him, pressing a brief, but tender kiss to his lips.
God. As if he wasn't out of breath enough already. "Jumin," he found himself mumbling, "can I stay the night?"
He had to put a hand over Jumin's mouth to keep him from going in for another kiss before he could finish talking, "Not like, to mess around," he clarified, "I just want to sleep close to you. I'm not saying the sex isn't good or anything, but lately I've been pushing for it even when we're both tired, haven't I? So let's just sleep this time."
Jumin stared at him for a moment, then took hold of his hand, but rather than pulling it away he pressed a soft kiss to his knuckles like some kind of fairytale prince. It was an unbelievably cheesy move, but still it made Zen's heart flutter, his face reddening from more than just his allergies.
"You have displayed quite the appetite as of late," Jumin told him, "but you did not push me. It's been enjoyable even at times when I'm otherwise exhausted. Still, I'm happy to merely have you beside me. It's said that sleeping next to someone is an excellent way to bond."
"Uh...right." was all Zen managed to say, his brain short-circuiting as Jumin tilted his head to kiss his wrist. Why did he always have to make him feel so flustered? Pulling his hand back, he self-consciously rubbed the bridge of his nose, "I hope you've still been keeping the cat out of the bedroom. I'm gonna be like this all night otherwise."
"Everything in there is perfectly clean," Jumin assured him, "though she isn't happy about it. She's been scratching at the door so often it's starting to leave marks."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize. It's worth the trouble."
---
He'd never thought of himself as the type of person who might like to be the little spoon, however as Zen huddled up behind him under the covers, Jumin was glad to be held. He'd always had a protective personality, but, occasionally it was nice to feel like he was the one being protected.
He still couldn't say Zen completely understood him, but he could tell he was trying, and that was good enough. There'd been a time when he'd desperately wished for someone who could understand his trauma without him having to speak of it. Someone who could look at him and seem to just know, like Rika had known. Except he'd learned that such an ability was dangerous. She hadn't seen his pain alone, but the pain of everyone around her, and in the end it had overwhelmed her and left her broken.
It'd been hard to accept that there was no shortcut to mutual understanding; that there was little he and Zen could do about each other's troubles without daring to speak of them out loud, but gradually the prospect of opening up was becoming less daunting to Jumin. While not yet ready to share everything, he'd reached a point where he could allow himself to be a little vulnerable and let Zen comfort him. He didn't need to always be the one in charge anymore.
"Stop looking at your phone," Zen grumbled, breath warm against his nape, "go to sleep."
Jumin smiled, taking one more look at the home screen where he'd set the picture of Zen and Elizabeth the 3rd as the background, before he turned the display off. "It's a really nice photo," he said, shutting his eyes.
"Of course it is," Zen murmured sleepily, "My face is in it."
---
The first thing Zen thought about that morning wasn't the dream. He woke up lying on his back with Jumin cuddled up against his side, warm and comfortable. Smiling, he ran his fingers through his tousled hair, toying with the spiked ends. He didn't know what time it was, but he hoped it was still too early for the alarm to go off, so they could stay like this for a while.
It was nice to see Jumin deeply asleep, especially because he knew he rarely got enough rest despite claiming he only needed a few hours each night to make it through the day. The dark circles under his eyes whenever he returned from work in the evening suggested otherwise.
Unfortunately, his peaceful slumber wasn't meant to last. The buzz of the alarm wasn't loud. Zen had slept through it a few times, but Jumin stirred immediately and sat up in bed before reaching for his phone to silence it. He was frowning deeply, and Zen had to stifle a laugh at how grouchy he looked. "Stay in bed a little longer," he purred at him, rolling onto his side to hook an arm around his waist.
"I can't," Jumin sighed, "I need to shower."
"Want me to shower with you?" Zen asked, grinning when that brought a hint of color to his cheeks.
"Yes," Jumin admitted, "but you shouldn't. I'll get distracted and be late for work. Stay here."
Zen pursed his lips, pouting as he let go of him. He worried sometimes about being too clingy, but Jumin seemed to like it. He already looked to be in a much better mood as he got out of bed to head for the bathroom.
Propping his pillow up against the headboard, Zen checked his phone. There was nobody in the chatroom when he entered, but there was a conversation he'd missed from last night. Jumin had shared the picture of him with the cat, saying it was his favorite photo because everything most precious to him was in it. He even went on to talk about the flowers he'd received and how fortunate he was that Zen would show such dedication to him. It still felt a little odd to see him act mushy in the chat that way, but it still made Zen's heart swell with affection for him. The only thing better than having a lover to brag about was having one who bragged about him in return.
He'd just caught up when he saw Jaehee enter the chat.
"[Good morning, Zen]" she wrote, "[Are you doing alright? Mr.Han isn't forcing you to be around Elizabeth the 3rd, is he?]"
Things had been awkward between them for a while after she first found out about him and Jumin. Zen had eventually ended up calling her to talk about it, and she'd admitted it wasn't just their reputation she was worried about. She feared Jumin wouldn't treat him well; that he would be too controlling.
He could understand why. Jumin had a very dominant personality. At first Zen took it to be caused by selfish entitlement. Then he'd started to see a pattern. The more insecure Jumin felt in any given situation, the more authority he'd demand. It was a defense mechanism. Not a healthy one, certainly, but knowing the true nature of it allowed Zen to keep it from escalating. Sometimes all Jumin needed was a few stern words of reason followed by gentle reassurance, and he'd be meek as a lamb in his arms. Of course he hadn't actually told Jaehee that. He'd simply asked her to trust that he could handle him.
"[Don't worry]" he assured her, "[I was the one who suggested he let the cat stay. I'm looking into allergy treatments"]
"[That's a relief.]" Jaehee wrote, "[I hope it works out.]"
Yoosung popped into the chat a moment later, complaining about having to get up to make it to class. He did this just about every morning, but it didn't really bother anyone as it was good to know he hadn't gone back to skipping.
Zen spent a while chatting with them, only glancing up briefly when Jumin returned from the bathroom in a pinstriped shirt and tailored dress pants. It wasn’t until he checked the time on his phone and thought about how he still had a couple of hours left before he had to get ready for rehearsal when the feeling of Déjà vu hit him like a ton of bricks. His heart began racing in anticipation, and he looked back up just in time to see Jumin turn away from the mirror to approach the bed. It took every last bit of willpower he possessed to sit still as Jumin leaned down to kiss him, soft, sweet, and reassuring, lingering just long enough to communicate a desire for more.
“Zen,” Jumin murmured in that deep voice which always seemed to send shudders down his spine.
Zen felt a smile tugging at the corner of his lip as Jumin caressed it with his thumb. He knew exactly what he was about to say, and he could barely wait to say it back to him, but he still had to ask, “what?”
“I love you.”
“Fucking Finally,” Zen blurted, unable to keep from laughing when Jumin gave him a look of utter confusion, “Never mind, never mind. I love you too.”