Chapter Text
Kaiju screams were everywhere. You couldn't shut them out. People were dying everywhere. You couldn't save them, you tried to protect them from crumbling buildings and Kaiju fire but you weren't fast enough. You needed more time, more time, more time.
Suddenly you woke up to blaring alarms, hurried footsteps grew thunderous outside of your door. You got up and into Raleigh's sweater that he'd lent you. Raleigh, you had to go find him. You opened the door to find the shatterdome completely wrecked, the roof had been taken apart and Jaegers that once stood tall and proud were now ripped to shreds. Engineers, technicians, and pilots all ran towards exits with trucks standing by. Then you saw him standing his ground in front of a Kaiju, guarding a child, a girl? Raleigh looked at you shoving the girl towards you screaming to run.
As she ran to you she tripped and at that moment smaller Kaijus had run past you in a flash, creating a barrier between you and the girl. All you could hear were her screams and her terrified face through cracks between Kaiju bodies. You watched in horror as she was attacked and you cried out for Raleigh. When you looked back at where he once stood, he was on the ground, the shining sword of the Gipsy Danger protruding from his chest. You ran to him but you couldn't move. You tried so hard, screaming, flailing but it was no use. You were too slow once again to save the ones you loved. You fell to the ground letting the darkness take over your senses.
You were falling, you couldn't stop yourself from slipping down, down, down. You couldn't see, your breath was failing you. Something was pulling you down, something with claws and talons, piercing the muscles of your legs. Your breath was gone, you couldn't speak, couldn't hear. Everything was muffled and a pressure in your chest was growing. You couldn't see, it was endless darkness and ghastly shrieks that kept you company. You didn't know how long you were falling for, you just knew you were falling with the way gravity seemed to flip your insides. You thought you could relax for a second, nothing had happened to you yet so you slouched just the tiniest bit and something stabbed your chest. Everything was lit up for a second and you could see them all, all of their monstrous, reptilian faces, mouths full of all those people you failed to protect. You looked down and there it was, your own Jaeger's sword, buried in your bleeding heart. You had one thought on your mind as you floated there frozen and in pain, you weren't good enough.
You woke up with a start, the cold air of the shatterdome washing over your sweat-drenched body as you surveyed your surroundings. You could barely breathe so you spotted five things in your room and attempted to slow your breathing. Your body hurt and you felt light-headed. As you stood up, the room began to spin, and your hand found purchase on a shelf to steady you. You felt out of rhythm, the world was moving faster than you could walk. You felt your heart beating faster than your breathing, you weren't going to be able to fall asleep anytime soon. You stumbled to put workout clothes on, barely keeping your balance, then you saw Raleigh's sweater and all thoughts left your mind. You needed to find him, you needed to know that he was okay, and- oh god, what if the shatterdome was in pieces outside your closed door. Your heart was beating so fast it hurt your chest. You stood in front of the army green door and set your hands down on the wheel. You slowly turned it, your anxiety of the outside world growing with each rotation until the door was completely unlocked and you stood frozen, too scared to shove your door open. You went over the plan in your head: go out, find Raleigh, go back. You repeated it like a mantra as you shut your eyes and shoved the door to find...
nothing out of the ordinary. People were going about their daily tasks. Seeing as it was 2 am, not many people were up but people were roaming nonetheless. As you stood there you began to feel more and more vulnerable. You probably looked like shit. Like some crazy maniac. Your need to know Raleigh was okay overtook your thoughts and you began your search. Your head still felt foggy. The lights were a little too bright and the noise was a little too loud. Your breathing was still shallow and everything still seemed to be moving faster than you were, you didn't know how to stop it. Your footsteps grew quicker as you began to panic. What if Raleigh wasn't okay? What if you were moved to another base? When you got to his door you began pounding on the metal. After a few seconds, you still didn't hear an answer so you slammed your knuckles on his door, over and over until they split and began bleeding. "Raleigh, please open up!" You shrieked, panic finally setting into your head. You weren't okay.
As you were losing grip on all logical thinking, the wheel of his door finally began to turn until you were face to face with the tired man.
"Hey, are you okay?" He asked, his voice rough from sleep as he took in your panicked form.
You didn't answer and just reached out to put a hand on his shoulder. When your hand connected with his skin, you sighed and suddenly a tension that you didn't realize you were holding, disappeared.
"Are. You. Okay?" His concerned voice finally processed in your head and you looked up at him and maybe it was the way you whipped your head upwards but the world began spinning again. He immediately noticed something was off.
"Woah, woah, hey. Look at me."
Your eyes struggled to stay in focus as you forced yourself to look at him.
"Okay, let's get you in here and you can sit down okay?"
He slowly led your shaking form to a chair in his room.
"Let's take a seat yeah?"
You refused to sit down in his chair. With your logical brain completely useless, you thought that the chair was too far from where Raleigh sat on his bed. You shook your head and stumbled to sit beside him. You put your head down on his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around you. You both sat on his bed as you slowed your breathing to match his. Once your breathing had returned to normal, the room stopped spinning and the world was at the right speed again.
"There we go." He said gently. "So, what happened?"
You shook your head. "Nothing, the Kaijus just attacked the shatterdome and I just couldn't save people in time." You shrugged getting up to leave. You rehearsed your apology speech in your head, going through the motions of the awkward sorry and scurry out of his room.
"Hey, no. We're not doing this tonight. Remember what we talked about? You even set that ground rule."
Shit, he was right. You two had been friends for almost an entire year and through that time you had set some ground rules to ensure the other's wellbeing. After many nightmare-ridden nights, and visits to the other's room you had set a ground rule that if the nightmare was bad enough for the person to go find the other, they had to talk about it.
"Fine." You slumped in the chair avoiding eye contact with Raleigh. "I remembered the last fight I had with Nat, y'know my best friend? But tonight it was bad, it was different. I woke up in my dream, thinking I had woken up for real. And-and just, the shatterdome, this place I learned to call home was just wrecked." Your voice cracked at the end, remembering the nightmare again.
Raleigh patiently waited for you to continue but when you didn't he encouraged you to do so. "What else happened (Y/N)? C'mon you gotta let it out otherwise it'll just bug you."
"And you-" You couldn't continue. He'd know that you had feelings for him and you both agreed not to go in that direction.
"What happened?" Shit. He was gonna make you do it. You were gonna let the truth out so long as he was sitting there listening.
"You died. And-and I tried, I really tried to save you but, there was this girl. Oh god she was only five or so and she just got destroyed." You were sobbing now. "I-I was too s-slow and you tried to protect us and she just died. I let her die!"
"Hey, come here." You walked to sit beside him on the bed. He turned to you and grabbed your hands. "Look at me. You did not let her die okay? I know you, and you would save someone even if your life was on the line, but sometimes-sometimes you just can't. You've gotta learn to move on, because if you kept thinking about all those people you couldn't save, you'd spend more time doing that than continuing to save lives."
You nodded at him unconvinced, but you were too tired to continue recounting your nightmare. You gave a small yawn as you pulled your hands out of his grasp.
"Do you wanna sleep here until Hansen calls us?"
"No, not really, sorry. I don't think I could sleep after that." He nodded his head in understanding.
"That's alright. I'll tell you what you need is a warm shower." He said as he stood up and walked to his closet.
He pulled out some of his clean clothes and a stack of clean clothes you left in his room for emergencies like this. He handed you a couple of towels and some soap bottles. You were too tired to argue with him so you held onto the items. You were just desperate to do something to get your mind off of the horrors you had experienced, and a warm shower actually sounded nice.
You both went to the shower rooms and it wasn't until you were both stripping to get into the same shower that you realized, friends definitely don't do this. Seeing as much time had passed since your accidental kiss, you thought maybe Raleigh had warmed up to the idea of dating again, so you passed it off as him showing affection for you and got into the shower with him.
The warm water was a blessed feeling on your tight muscles and you sighed as it hit your back. You felt Raleigh begin to dig his thumbs into the tight muscles between your neck and shoulders. You groaned as he massaged out a particularly tight knot. When he was done you felt slightly drowsy, as you struggled to keep your eyes open. He began planting feather-light kisses on the side of your neck, along your shoulders and down your back. You had no idea what he was trying to do but you let him, believing that this was the next step in your relationship. He placed an arm around your waist and tilted your jaw towards him to give you a deep kiss. As his mouth distracted you, you didn't notice the hand he had begun to trail down between your legs until he spread apart your folds. You squeaked in surprise but it quickly melted into a moan as he applied a harsh pressure on your swollen bud.
"Fuck." You muttered, bucking your hips in his grasp, desperate for more friction from his calloused hand.
"When's the last time you had a man." He whispered into the shell of your ear.
"Too long." You sighed and he chuckled.
He traced lines between your folds, gathering your wetness on his finger.
"If I had known you were this wet for me, baby, I probably would've done this sooner." He muttered between kisses.
"Shit, stop teasing."
He slipped a finger into your pussy and you moaned as he curled his finger upwards.
"You like that huh?"
You whimpered as he added a second finger. He scissored his fingers, stretching your tight walls.
"Shit baby, you're tight. I dunno if you're gonna be able to handle me."
You shook your head as words got caught in your throat. "I-I c-can."
"What was that darling? I don't think I caught that through your moaning."
"I c-can take you."
He curled his fingers again, dragging along your g-spot and you couldn't stop your hips from grinding into his hand.
"Fuck, I need you Raleigh." You begged as you dug your nails into his hipbone.
"Patience baby, lemme finish you up first." He chuckled adding another finger to your wet hole.
You moaned at the sensation of his fingers filling you up. He began curling his fingers against your g-spot and you could feel your climax growing closer. He placed his rough thumb on your clit and began massaging it. You fucked his hand desperate to get off.
"Bite me."
"What?"
"Bite me." You begged.
"Yes ma'am."
The moment you felt his teeth pinch the skin of your shoulder you lost it. You tossed your head onto his shoulder as your back arched in his grasp.
"Shit Raleigh." You moaned out.
"That's what I like to see." He praised you, giving you a peck on the lips.
He held you up against him as you came down from your high. He moved your drenched locks out of your bliss painted face.
"You good there?"
"Shit, yeah." You laughed. "Wow, I haven't gotten off that good for a long time. Those fingers are magic."
"You wanna know what else is like magic."
You laughed and turned around to face him, immediately placing your mouth on his.
"Shut up and fuck me." You muttered against his lips, wrapping your legs around his waist.
"Yes ma'am." He chuckled as he backed you into the tiled wall of the shower.
You took his already hard cock and pumped it a few times, earning a groan from him before you lined him up with your entrance. When you sat down on him you both moaned at the feeling. He stretched you so well, filling spots inside of you that you never knew existed.
"Shit you're tight" He said as he pulled out almost completely, as he thrust himself back in he muttered, "but you feel so damn good."
You couldn't do anything but moan as the feeling of pleasure took over your brain. You got lost in his sloppy thrusts as he got closer to his own climax. He groaned into your neck as a certain thrust in had you both seeing stars.
"Fuck, do that again."
He adjusted his hips slightly and the next thrust hit you harder and you tossed your head against the tiles as you felt your walls flutter against him.
"Shit, I'm gonna cum soon, where do you want it?"
"Inside me." You sighed, admiring his blissed features.
"You sure?" His voice strained as he scrunched his face in pleasure.
"Yep, 'm on the pill."
You captured his lips, and he gave one last thrust before you both unraveled, moaning each other's names as quickly cooling water washed over the two of you.
After you both recovered from your highs, he pulled out of you.
"Damn, if I had known sex was this good with you, I would have done it sooner." He chuckled out.
You rolled your eyes and began lathering your hair in soap. When both of you were finished showering properly you scurried back to his room.
Before you knew it, you were under the comfort of his wool blankets, snuggled against his warm chest.
"What are we now?" You asked, waiting to finally hear him say it.
He looked down at you with a smile.
"How about friends with benefits of course?"
Shit. That was not what you wanted to hear, and it didn't look like he was joking. Well, sex with Raleigh Becket was better than no sex with Raleigh Becket so you supposed it wasn't that bad.
"Alright, friends with benefits."
You were so fucked.