Chapter Text
The plane carrying the Stardust Crusaders rocketed towards the ground. Their view of bright blue sky became bright brown sand.
Every crusader reacted differently to their impending doom save for the slumbering Kakyoin, who rested against the grey seat cushion. A spiked purple vine, Joseph’s Stand, bound his waist to the seat like a makeshift seatbelt. His sleepwalking wouldn’t cause more trouble than dooming everyone to a sandy grave.
Polnareff shook Kakyoin’s shoulder with one arm. His other arm gripped the handle of the basket Mannish Boy was riding in. “Wake up, Kakyoin!” Polnareff shouted, over and over. His eyes sometimes wandered to a compartment below Joseph’s seat. This compartment contained a parachute, according to the man who rented them this plane. But only one. Far less than the number needed for four adults and a baby. “No one’s brought up the parachute,” he thought. ”Maybe they’ve forgotten. I could take advantage of the confusion and have Silver Chariot-no, stop it!”
Silver Chariot appeared in response to Polnareff’s desire and vanished a second later. “I will not survive thanks to the corpses of my friends or helpless victims!” he thought. “I can’t. I…” His head let out an unintelligible groan and fell onto Kakyoin’s right shoulder. “Please wake up,” he begged. “You can figure this out. Please, figure something out.”
“Waaaa…” Mannish let out a whimper meant to communicate the panic someone in his position should feel. His conscious traveled from this plane to his dream world, where his Stand tortured Kakyoin. The baby’s physical form almost smiled as Death 13 applied more force to Kakyoin’s broken arm, but he curled it back before Jotaro could take notice. “Congratulations on taking action when I let my guard down, Kobayashi,” he thought. “When we all die, I pray that the souls of these shitheads treat you worse than I did.”
Jotaro sat across from his grandfather in the pilot’s seat while his eyes took multiple trips around the plane. They started on the panicked Polnareff, dived down to Mannish in his basket, crawled below Joseph’s seat to the parachute, jumped up towards Joseph struggling with the controls to ensure a decent flight, and looped back to Polnareff again. Solutions coursed through his mind, but each one had consequences no better than at least one casualty. “What if we summoned our Stands and had them push the plane up?” he thought. “No, that’s stupid. Even if they had the strength, our bodies would feel the strain of pushing a crashing plane. Combine that with us experiencing the same force externally, that alone might be enough to kill us. Maybe if I’d tested out some safety precautions beforehand, we could act on one of them. Knowing me, even if I did think this would happen, I’d have sought out yet another excuse to avoid interacting with people who care about me. Disgusting.”
He thought back to a little before this journey started, when he had intentionally gone to jail because he’d mistaken his Stand for an evil spirit that posed potential danger to other. Not once had he considered talking to his mother about this. She would later call Joseph to fly over from America. One fierce battle later, Jotaro would gain control over his Stand and choose to leave the prison. “Back then, maybe I wouldn’t have inconvenienced so many people if I’d just talked to Mom,” he thought. “Hell, if she knew about Stands, she might’ve talked to me or Grandpa about her sickly condition possibly being the work of a Stand. Could we have fixed her and avoided this entire journey? I’ll never know, because I never tried talking. Even now, I’m so desperate to avoid hassle that I can’t even suggest the terrible solutions coming to mind. Would a terrible solution be better than literally doing nothing?” He stared at Joseph, but he neither said a solution, nor did a solution appear on the back of his jacket. Jotaro gripped the rim of his cap and, with herculean effort, did not crush it.
Joseph wrestled with the plane’s busted controls. Earlier, when the sleepwalking Kakyoin shoved him into the controls, his massive frame had bent them out of shape. While his body failed to stop the plane’s downward descent, his mind cycled through which hypothetical escape plan had more than a 0% chance of no casualties.
In Joseph’s youth, he had outwitted both mortal and immortal opponents, but this current crisis didn’t have a mind to outwit. He glanced at his watch. “If I’ve got nothing in one minute, Jotaro takes out the parachute and carries the baby,” he thought. “Before that, let’s consider the pieces at my disposal. Three of us have humanoid Stands, but Kakyoin’s Stand is unavailable. When I first met Avdol, we did a few tests to determine the effect of Stands in the physical plane. Gravity doesn’t matter to them. However, their reliable carrying capacity was limited by the user’s own muscle capacity. On top of that, carrying someone requires an upper body with arms, and my Stand’s a fucking vine originating from my own fucking body! Two active humanoid Stands, four adults, the negligible weight of a baby, and a single parachute…hm…”
An idea came to Joseph right as the second hand of his watch made a full rotation. Even if refining it would help, they were out of time. “Sonuvabitch!” he shouted. As the tense silence broke, everyone’s eyes fell on him. “We can’t stop the plane from crashing!
“Toilet mouth, if you say, ‘we can’t panic in front of the baby’ before I can explain our evacuation plan, I’m cutting another hole in your tongue!” A few days ago, the gang had fought Enyaba. She’d cut a hole in Polnareff’s tongue and her Stand used the wound to throw him into a toilet.
“We can’t panic in-“ Polnareff covered his mouth despite the action playing no role in halting his speech.
Jotaro pointed to the front of the plane. “How can we evacuate?” Everyone here could see the ground in much clearer detail than they cared to.
Mannish raised an eyebrow. “Sweet! The shitstain’s giving me a show before we all become shitstains!”
“From now on, don’t interrupt me unless you can explain and enact your own plan in half a second!” Joseph shouted. He pointed at Polnareff. “Toilet mouth, drop the basket and grab the baby.”
“Oui.” Polnareff performed Joseph’s orders, clutching Mannish to his chest like a rugby ball. The sudden proximity to Polnareff caused the first genuine whimper to escape Mannish’s mouth.
“Summon Silver Chariot,” Joseph said. “Use it to pierce through the roof. If you can’t cut that deep, cut as deep as you can, as many times as you can. Now.”
“But that…Oui.” Polnareff swallowed his objection and summoned Silver Chariot. The Stand in silver armor struck the roof. To Polnareff’s relief, Silver Chariot’s rapier couldn’t cut through, nor did his rapid succession of thrusts. “Monsieur Joseph’s plan better save the baby, at least.”
“Jotar-“ Before Joseph could finish his instruction, Star Platinum appeared right next to the thrusting Silver Chariot. “Good job, grandson,” Joseph said. “Once I snap, unleash a flurry of punches onto the roof. Once it breaks apart, throw yourself and Toilet mouth up and super far from this plane. Following the throw, both of you unsummon your Stands, then summon them again to catch you once you stop rising. Don’t say ‘You’re not sacrificing yourself’, Polnareff.” Joseph snapped with his non-artificial arm.
Star Platinum let out a flurry of punches, accompanying each with a cry of ‘Ora’. Each punch was accompanied with a cracking sound.
“You’re not s-stop it, Jotaro!” Polnareff blocked Jotaro’s approaching arm with his free arm. “I won’t agree to a plan that endangers you and Kakyoin! I’ll stay on board if I have to!”
This objection surprised Mannish. In the dream world, Death 13 had implanted the thought ‘Act to support the baby above anyone else’ into Polnareff’s subconscious. “Stupid as this French chode is, maybe he’s capable of multiple priorities at once. Whoa!”
The plane’s roof broke apart. Its pieces flew in all directions. Towards the group was one of them.
“Niquer!” Polnareff shouted. Silver Chariot whacked every nearby piece of roof into a straight line. Before the pieces could respond to air pressure, Star Platinum landed a punch and sent them all flying.
“I didn’t consider collateral damage,” Joseph thought. “Good job, Polnareff!” he shouted.
His cry fell on deaf ears, as air pressure had lifted Polnareff and Jotaro from the plane. Due to their smaller weight, they fell down at a rate much slower than the heavy plane. Star Platinum grabbed the legs of both men and threw them upwards, the former right and the latter left. Silver Chariot vanished once flight began. Despite the immense air pressure and fear gripping his heart, he kept his eyes open and arms grasped tightly around Mannish.
A few seconds later, Polnareff’s upward ascent stopped. Silver Chariot appeared at his command. Its rapier was sheathed at its side. Its right arm caught Polnareff’s legs at the knees while the other caught his stomach at the pectoral level. Both arms flipped Polnareff around, such that it carried Polnareff like a princess or bride. “Incredible,” Polnareff said as Silver Chariot hovered still in midair. “I never knew Stands could be used like this.”
He glanced down at Mannish and turned the baby’s body towards the sky. “Look at the beautiful sky, bebe,” he said. “Don’t look down.” Ignoring his own advice, he glanced down at the crashing plane. Silver Chariot began its slow float downwards. He wanted to do what he could for the two helpless passengers, but the baby’s safety took greater priority. “Why must I always be saved?” he asked no one.
“Because you’re an incompetent idiot too stupid to even take care of himself!” Mannish answered. “You couldn’t even complete your life’s goal without the help of sleeping fugly on the plane! Ah…” Distance between Mannish and the plane had increased to beyond Death 13’s range. A growl escaped Mannish’s lips, followed by a whimper once he saw Polnareff’s eyebrows raise. “Your next sleep will be your last, Polnareff. This time, you won’t dream alongside your fuck buddy Kobayashi.”
Back on the plane, Kakyoin’s eyes slowly opened. A groan escaped him as his eyes adjusted to the desert sun. His first observation was the sand. It was much closer than when he fell asleep, and much clearer. The roof was also gone. A torrent of air brushed against his face and hair, but despite the resistance, he forced himself to look down. The plane flew down at a 45-degree angle, yet a purple vine at Kakyoin’s waste kept his body upright. All these clues formed the word ‘crash’. “AAAAAHHH!”
“Good morning, sloth!” Joseph shouted. His head did not move.
“What’s going on?” Kakyoin shouted. “Where’s the roof? Why are we crashing?”
“I’ll explain later! For now, I’m going to remove that vine from your waist! Jump out of the plane and have your Stand carry you away!”
“I can’t! Ah…” The vine retreated from Kakyoin’s waist, and he hugged Joseph’s seat. “My Stand can’t carry me! It’s just a bunch of vines and liquid shaped like a human! I tried a few years back! Ngh…” A huge jolt of pain came from his left arm when it touched Joseph’s seat. He swallowed the scream and put more strength into his right arm.
“Then grab something!” Joseph shouted. He continued fiddling with the controls. The flight’s path became a horizontal line, but crashing speed kept increasing.
Though Kakyoin’s upper body had a steady grasp of Joseph’s seat, his legs waved in the air like kites. Upon his command, Hierophant Green appeared, shot two stones into the seat cushion, and pushed Kakyoin’s legs into the resulting holes. It hovered to Kakyoin’s right, unaffected by gravity. Kakyoin was now grounded, but the crash remained his biggest problem.
“Was that your Stand? Ah…” Before Joseph could say more, an object hit their plane’s bottom. He glanced in the direction opposite the force that hit the plane. A few hundred feet ahead of him, he saw the letters S and P written, along with two figures pulling something from the ground. “Star Platinum!” Joseph shouted. “Great job, Jotaro!”
“Mr. Joestar and Jotaro are incredible,” Kakyoin thought. ”Jotaro got to the ground to stop our crash. Joseph’s staying here to pilot, even though he could’ve taken the parachute. I don’t even know how I fell asleep. Again.” He pushed the thought aside. On his orders, Hierophant Green left its seat and planted a stone on the plane’s left wing.
Joseph stared at the tree that the plane was heading towards. “Hamon training, don’t fail me now.”
A couple minutes earlier…
During Jotaro’s ascent, he reflected on his grandpa’s actions. “Grandpa’s motive is obvious,” he thought. “Star Platinum’s carrying capacity is irrelevant if he put on the parachute. Rather than saving his own life, that stupid old man is risking his life for Kakyoin’s hopeful survival. And I don’t like their odds.”
Jotaro summoned Star Platinum. It placed both of its palms on the rocketing Jotaro’s shoulders, pushed down with its maximum might, and vanished. Jotaro’s heart rate and breaths per minute increased as he plummeted downward, but despite the approaching sand, he steeled his resolve and twisted his body until he faced the desert.
Barely a minute later, Jotaro had seconds before hitting the ground. Star Platinum appeared just below Jotaro. While Jotaro steeled his core, Star Platinum delivered five quick punches into his abdomen and vanished. Jotaro’s body flew sideways with a small upward incline, but his body didn’t rotate thanks to the precise aim of Star Platinum. Fist-sized welts formed in his stomach. “I can feel pain,” he told himself amidst wincing.
Jotaro’s sideways flight took him below the crashing plane and past it. He glanced up as its shadow covered him. “We’re all greeting Mom after we’ve plucked the ivy from its source and cured her,” he said. “All of us.”
A gasp escaped his throat as he looked down and saw a green cactus in his path. On Jotaro’s command, Star Platinum appeared and punched the cactus at its base. Its top half blew away and Jotaro brushed above the cactus’ base with only a bloody fist free of cactus needles to show for it. He unsummoned Star Platinum and covered his fist with his cap. It absorbed the blood flow. His travel, much to his delight, didn’t feature any more cacti to punch.
The force eventually left his sideways fall, but before he hit the sand, Star Platinum appeared and caught him with a bear hug. “Now, the important part,” he said as Star Platinum placed him on the sand.” He looked up at the crashing plane. Surrounding him were a couple cacti and lots of sand. The blood-stained cap fell from his hand to the ground. “Good grief.”
Star Platinum rushed over to the nearest cactus and broke it in half with one punch. It picked up the cactus with precise handling, aimed for the plane’s base, and threw. Jotaro watched this with twitching eyes as he dragged his jacket through the sand, crafting the letters S and P. Blood spattered from his hand and stained the white underside of his jacket. “Good thing Polnareff tested the plane’s durability before we took off. At least I know that the cactus won’t pierce the hull and hurt either of them. I should follow his example.”
The plane headed towards a large tree a short distance behind Jotaro. This tree stood about 50 feet high and no other cacti existed within at least 200 feet of it. Judging by how meticulous Joseph was, Jotaro couldn’t see this as a coincidence. “But why would Grandpa intentionally fly-wait, what’s that hanging off the plane?”
In addition to supreme strength and speed, Star Platinum’s eyes could see faraway objects with inhuman clarity. A green tentacle hung from the plane’s left wing and continued to stretch outward. Jotaro grinned. “Kakyoin’s awake.”
The smile soon left Jotaro’s face as he realized the immense distance between the two. Star Platinum dropped a cactus and flew up, but to Jotaro’s dismay, it couldn’t fly high enough to reach the vine. The tentacle had also stopped growing.
Kakyoin shouted something, but Jotaro could only hear a noise separate from the plane’s engine. Fortunately, his eyes picked up his ear’s slack and noticed a barrage of stones and liquid. Two stones hit the initial tentacle, and tentacles grew from those stone. Those tentacles hit other stones from the Emerald Splash blast, continuing the pattern until a misshapen net of tentacles hung from the plane. That net was in Star Platinum’s range.
Star Platinum dodged a stray stone and grabbed hold of the net. Unfortunately, the Stand could only slightly decrease the plane’s descending speed. Jotaro’s arms strained from pulling against a vehicle in free fall. He growled, but nothing could distract him from the immense pain.
Back on the plane, Kakyoin took excessive breaths like he’d run a marathon. One shot of Emerald Splash had taken way more out of him than usual. Before he could wonder why, a jolt from behind interrupted his train of thought. Thanks to his Stand’s ability to root its stones into surfaces, he did not have to worry about the tentacle net breaking off. Unfortunately, the force from Star Platinum applied to the plane wing that the tentacle net was attached to. This caused the plane to tilt left. Kakyoin gripped the seat harder to avoid falling off the plane. His left arm hit the seat, and this time, he couldn’t stifle the scream.
“Very n-nice, both of you,” Joseph said amidst turbulence. The sudden addition of force to the plane threw him off balance, but he quickly retained it as the plane reached his intended destination: the 50-foot tree. His purple vine extended from his body to a few feet in front of the plane. “Time for my coup de greatness! Hamon Overdrive!”
An electric current ran through his vine. This energy, Hamon, allowed the user to inject the target with life energy, encouraging abnormal growth in wildlife or killing vampires. Once it touched the tree, a large bush grew from one of its branches. The plane crashed into the bush. Thanks to the influx of leaves, much of the plane’s momentum was absorbed by the bush.
The rest of the force propelled both Kakyoin and Joseph forward, the former into the seat he was gripping, and the latter onto the dashboard. Fortunately, for Joseph, the airbag sprung from the steering wheel and cushioned his impact. Mostly.
Green vines sprung from the base and tip of the tree with enough forward momentum to pierce the plane. For a moment, the plane hung sideways from the vines like a tchotchke hangs down from a necklace.
Joseph leaned up from his airbag. “Ow,” he said as he grasped his aching stomach. “It hurts, but, I’m alive. Haha…haaaa.” He leaned back from his airbag and took a deep breath, as Hamon reserves replenished with oxygen intake. However, since he hadn’t trained in Hamon for 50 years, he’d need at least an hour before his elderly body had enough oxygen to produce Hamon. “How you holdin’ up, Kakyoin?”
Kakyoin groaned. “Thank you…saving…Mr. Joestar…” With the adrenaline gone, his body lost its energy and fell onto the seat, and his feet fell from their footholds. He then leaned left, onto his left arm. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!”
The grin faded from Joseph’s face. After grabbing the parachute from below his seat, he looked over at Kakyoin. Breaths left Kakyoin’s mouth at breakneck pace while his right hand hovered just above his left arm. “Oh shit,” Joseph said. “Where’d you get injured?” He pushed both arms through the parachute’s straps. “I’ll treat you when we’re on the ground. Too dangerous to try anything he-eeeeeere!”
The vines, now out of Hamon, lost their strength, causing the plane to leave their constraint. Even if Joseph could have provided the vines with additional Hamon, he lost his balance before he could grasp them and fell to the ground. Joseph pulled the strap on his parachute pack. A light-green parachute sprung from behind Joseph, gliding him to the ground. His arm reached towards Kakyoin, only to grasp air.
He glanced down and gritted his teeth as Hermit Purple’s vine extended from his arm. Kakyoin would reach the ground before Joseph could catch him with the vine, assuming his old body could support the teenager without exacerbating his injury.
“Kakyoin!” Following the loud shout, Silver Chariot flew below Kakyoin and caught him. Polnareff ran to the scene while one arm gripped Mannish to his side. His legs took a few steps after he willed them to stop and he leaned down, taking in a gulp of desert air. A gust of wind blew some sand into his mouth, resulting in a coughing fit. However, both he and Silver Chariot kept firm grasp of Mannish and Kakyoin, respectively.
One of Silver Chariot’s arms gripped his back, but the other gripped his left arm. Kakyoin groaned.
A loud creak came from the plane above their heads. With a loud snap, the plane broke off from the vines and fell. “Quit showing off and move!” Joseph shouted, lunging forward as best as his parachute would allow him. Polnareff ran backwards, a poor decision made by an oxygen-starved brain, and fell over. Fortunately, Silver Chariot carried Kakyoin a safe distance from the eventual crash site.
With a loud thud, the plane fell to the ground. Polnareff’s feet were spared by a few centimeters, but Joseph’s parachute got caught by the giant hunk of metal. He planted one leg behind him and, thanks to the parachute’s size, stopped himself from falling.
“That was close.” Joseph said, wiping sweat from his forehead. His metal arm punched the sky. “But no one died or lost an arm. So, it’s not my worst piloting experience.”
“Desole, Kakyoin!” Polnareff said. Silver Chariot moved his left hand from Kakyoin’s broken arm to his back. “I did not realize your arm was broken!” “What can we even do for Kakyoin?” he thought. “We’re stranded in the desert! God knows how far or in what direction a doctor would be in!”
Joseph’s arm slowly sank. “Oh.” He removed the straps from his parachute pack, then pointed below the plane. “Put Kakyoin onto the parachute, Toilet Mouth.”
Polnareff glanced between Silver Chariot and Joseph. “I-is that okay? Wouldn’t putting him down, hurt him?”
“Don’t question Grandpa’s plan,” Jotaro said. All present figures looked at Jotaro as he limped over, holding both arms beneath his stomach. “That was his first instruction.” He tripped over a tiny sand dune, but summoned Star Platinum to block his fall.
“You heard my…grandson.” Joseph gave Jotaro an approving nod. “Please. Polnareff.” He hoped that the slight change in Polnareff’s addressing would convey the urgency of the situation.
“Oui.” Silver Chariot carried Kakyoin over to the parachute and placed him down with the finesse of a dancer. “What about you, Jotaro?”
Jotaro shook his head. “Just, light strain, from grabbing the vines. Focus, on Kakyoin.”
“Arm…already…”
Kakyoin’s mumbling brought attention from everyone else. “Polnareff, open the cargo hold,” Joseph said as he ran over to Kakyoin. “Just a little past the right wing. Well, it’s on the left now, but you get it. If you can’t force it open, cut it open with Silver Chariot.” “Paying off the guy who let us rent the plane is gonna cost the Speedwagon Foundation a lot,” he thought. “I wish one of us had a Stand that could revert an object to its original form. Or a person, for that matter.”
Joseph glanced over Kakyoin’s body. After unbuttoning Kakyoin’s shirt, Joseph noticed a couple bruises along Kakyoin’s chest. “A couple bruises, but nothing serious.” “Where does it hurt, Kakyoin?”
“My…arm…” Kakyoin raised his right arm and pointed left. “Pain…”
“Oh.” Even through Kakyoin’s sleeve, Joseph could see the unnatural bend in Kakyoin’s forearm. “Probably the ulna or the radius got bent out of shape. Either way, fixing this is way beyond the basic training I got in the Stroheim Medical Corporation. But step 1’s still on the table.”
“It’s open!” Polnareff shouted. Joseph glanced behind him to see Silver Chariot disappear, while Polnareff and Jotaro, the latter clutching his arms to his stomach, stood in front of the cut open cargo hold.
Mannish watched all of this from Polnareff’s arm with a bored expression. “At least the fucker will still suffer until he dies.”
“Grab the brown satchel and bring it to me!” Joseph said. “It’s got medical tools. We’re going to give Kakyoin a makeshift splint until we can get him to a real doctor. Oh, and give Jotaro the baby. We’ll need as many good arms as possible to fix this bad one.”
Jotaro held out both arms to Polnareff, hiding his pained face beneath the rim of his cap. Polnareff frowned, but slowly handed the baby over to Jotaro. The Frenchman held his other arm beneath Jotaro’s, but to his relief, Jotaro’s arms remained steady. “Merci,” Polnareff said. He reached both of his hands into the cargo hold and began feeling around.
“How should I help?” Jotaro asked.
“Put the baby down somewhere in the plane,” Joseph said. “If the basket’s still there, put him inside that. Then, when Polnareff’s done, find the green duffel bag in the cargo hold and start setting up camp.”
“But, Kakyoin, arm?” Jotaro’s uncertainty about what to do resulted in disconnected words rather than sentences.
“Got it!” With a tug and a grunt, Polnareff pulled the light brown satchel out of the cargo hold. “Be right there, Monsieur Joesta…”
Joseph’s face, as he glared at Jotaro, had none of its usual goofiness. Both Jotaro and Polnareff froze in place. “We need good arms,” Joseph said. “Arms that either have some medical training or aren’t busted from trying to divert a plane’s direction. If you drop something at a crucial moment, your apology won’t mean shit to Kakyoin.”
Jotaro nodded. He handed the baby to Star Platinum, gripped the plane, and jumped in.
“Hm?” During Joseph’s pat down of Kakyoin to find out where his other injuries might be, he discovered a folded pocketknife in Kakyoin’s pants pocket. “I’ll take that for now.” Joseph placed the knife to Kakyoin’s side. He looked up to see Polnareff glancing down at Kakyoin. “Good timing, Polnareff. Place the bag to my right and take everything out.”
“Oui.” Polnareff nodded, then took exaggerated goose steps on his way to Joseph. Once there, he did as Joseph asked. Joseph’s goofy smile had returned, and it only made Polnareff more wary.
“Before…crash…” Kakyoin’s body trembled. Every ounce of his body wanted to scream from the pain, but he knew they wanted to treat him. He let his body become a log, teetering over a nearby waterfall.
Once Polnareff had unloaded everything from the bag, Joseph opened the pocketknife. “Cut open Kakyoin’s sleeve, Polnareff,” he said. “I need to find the right materials.”
Polnareff grabbed the knife despite his uncertainty. “But what if I cut him?”
Joseph bent down to examine the various medical goods. “That’s why I’m asking you.” He tried to raise his human arm, but the higher it rose, the more it trembled. “I’m in a, shall I say, manageable condition and the only one with medical training. You’ll be my assistant when I need greater precision or, well, more hands. Cut the sleeve.”
Kakyoin fought to stay conscious despite the pain. He could perceive his surroundings, but much of his energy was spent suppressing screams. “My arm. It was injured the crash. I think?” His other thoughts were other forms of ‘ow’.
Fortunately, Polnareff cut off Kakyoin’s sleeve with similar grace that he used when styling his hair. “You’ll be up and about in no time,” Polnareff said. “Joseph will fix you up.”
“I’m treating his arm, not casting a magic spell on it,” Joseph said. He had placed a variety of medical supplies in front of him, including a large ice pack, a roll of duct tape, and a small empty plastic container. One hand held some pills and the other held an open plastic bottle of water. Joseph had bought those pills from a nearby bazaar following their fight with Steely Dan, but had their chemical composition checked by the Speedwagon foundation’s medical division. According to the manufacturer’s website, they’d curb Kakyoin’s pain unless he agitated his core injury. Side effects included drowsiness, but the company’s website emphasized that other side effects were possible. Unfortunately, desperate times called for desperate measures.
Joseph held the pills between the thumb and pointer finger of his mechanical arm. “Open up for the…airplane? Pfft.” His prior outburst had been sealed away like a trap hole covered with a camouflaged cloth.
Kakyoin raised his right arm. “Baby…swallow…” Breaths entered and exited him in rapid succession. “I’m not the baby here! I can swallow pills on my own!” “Ah…”
During Kakyoin’s most recent breath, Joseph’s metal forefinger flicked the pills into Kakyoin’s mouth. His human arm dunked some water into Kakyoin’s mouth. Kakyoin let the pills simmer in his mouth for a moment, then swallowed them down the right pipe.
Joseph now had the ice pack in both arms. “Polnareff’s about to lift your arm, Kakyoin.” Polnareff gripped Kakyoin’s arm by the middle finger and the shoulder, two places Joseph had confirmed to not be broken.
A gulp passed through Kakyoin’s gritted teeth down his throat. His eyelids grew closer and…sprung wide open.
“BABY STAND”
“ DREAMS”
Those three words had been stamped behind Kakyoin’s forearm, like an imprint of those letters had been held onto Kakyoin’s arm for a few seconds. Obviously, he had no recollection of this happening. “Dreams, huh. I was certainly asleep despite crazy circumstances. Unless I’d been given an anesthetic or was attacked by a Stand, I wouldn’t sleep during a plane crash. And…baby?”
Mannish waved his arms in the air, another part of his practiced act. Out of curiosity, he glanced over at Kakyoin, but the high schooler stared right back. His eyes widened. “Ha ha,” he said, and looked away. “Shit! That was a stare of suspicion, no buttholes about it! But how? My power fades from the user’s memory when they wake up! On top of that, he couldn’t have left a message on his body! Ah…”
His mind drifted to a few minutes ago, in the dream world, when string fell from Kakyoin’s sleeve. “Strings fell from the area his left arm was when he vanished from the dream world. And I crushed that arm. He couldn’t have planned on that…right?”
Despite his better judgement, he glanced back at Kakyoin. The high schooler’s eyes had no direction to them. His drugs had kicked in, leaving Kakyoin in a drug-induced stupor while Polnareff and Joseph fixed up his arm. Mannish tried bringing Kakyoin to the dream world, but Kakyoin was still technically conscious. “Back-up plan it is.”
A few hours later…
The sun set on the campsite, or lack thereof. Four sleeping bags lay atop an unfolded grey tarp, its sides nailed into the sand with tent pegs. The three young men rested on their sleeping bags. A couple feet away, Joseph stirred egg porridge inside a small black cauldron. Below the cauldron was a small fire, contained by logs chopped from the tree that their plane crashed into. Joseph’s other arm fanned the flames with a fan.
On occasion, he would glance at Mannish Boy, who lay nearby in his basket. His stomach had grumbled earlier. Unfortunately, the small amount of uncooked food Joseph had brought was not safe for a baby, so Joseph decided to cook food suitable for all ages. Mannish’s attention remained on the pot and the tantalizing aroma rising from it.
Jotaro sat on his sleeping back smoking a lit cigarette and reading a copy of Shonen Jump. The magazine had a red-haired samurai on the cover with an X-shaped scar on his cheek. A bookmark stuck out from the left of the pages Jotaro was reading.
Polnareff lay back on his sleeping bag and stared at the stars, chewing a piece of mint-flavored gum. “Why do we view Heaven as in the clouds, but Hell as below the earth? Feels kind of mean since we bury the dead. Maybe that’s the idea behind cremation, the smoke is your body, and that lets you travel to Heaven. Whatever’s the case, I’m glad I didn’t bury J. Geil. Cherie deserves an afterlife happy and away from that scumbag.”
Kakyoin sat up on his sleeping bag and glowered at Mannish boy. A bulky ice pack and tons of duct tape covered his left arm. He had swallowed another dose of the painkillers a moment ago, ensuring minimal pain and maximum concentration.
By the time that his senses had returned following the first dose of pills, Joseph and Polnareff had finished binding his arm. If the mark was still there, or was there to begin with, it could vanish at any point. Thankfully, Joseph returned Kakyoin’s knife. Once Kakyoin could prove the validity of the message possibly underneath his arm, he’d slice off the cast and reveal it. “That clue showed up way too conveniently to be a drug-induced hallucination,” he thought. “Unfortunately, based on how Stands work, a single clue can’t be conclusive. A connecting line, that’s a separate story, and one I can tell the others.”
Joseph and the others had told Kakyoin about the events from when he fell asleep. He apologized profusely, and while they forgave him, he didn’t. Solving this mystery would be his apology to them. A broken arm might be a warning of a much scarier fate.
“Back in the hotel we slept in last night, I woke up with a bump on my head. After the plane ride, I woke up with a broken arm. In both circumstances, an injury happened when I was asleep. This Stand user either can’t kill me or has reason not to. If the baby is the Stand user, the latter seems way more likely. In the hotel, Polnareff talked to me after a call from the plane seller. That seller had to know where the baby was, or Polnareff would’ve mentioned ‘the baby was missing’. Assuming I would’ve been awake to hear it. Later, on the plane, I woke up when Polnareff carried the baby away. Stands tend to have a limited range, so it makes sense that, since I was on a crashing plane, I woke up after leaving the baby’s range. No healthy individuals could fall asleep on a crashing plane, without help. Adding to both pieces of information, the baby is the only new addition, and he recovered from his fever between taking off and crashing. If he’s the Stand user, logic comes out of these coincidences.”
Kakyoin’s present plan was to stare at Mannish Boy and take note of the first odd action. If nothing happened, his backup plan was basic. One person must stay awake throughout the night. Convincing the others to just do that would be an issue of basic safety, because anything from a scorpion to a flying Stand user may pop up in the middle of the night.
All of a sudden, Polnareff sprang his back up. “Monsieur Joestar. You’re sure that the baby’s fever is gone?”
Joseph rolled his eyes and put the back of his mechanical hand onto Mannish’s forehead. “Still a normal temperature. Five minutes from now, when you ask me again, I’ll have the same answer.”
“It just doesn’t make sense.” Polnareff grabbed a piece of paper from his pocket and spat his gum into it. “Fevers don’t just vanish out of the blue.”
Joseph shrugged. “They can. Got any statistics on this topic to lord over Polnareff with, Kakyoin?” He chuckled.
Polnareff joined in. “Oui, Kakyoin. Maybe magical recovery is a side effect of the desert fever? Or maybe desert is good for you, despite what that silly food pyramid says?”
“It’s pronounced deh-zert, dumbass,” Joseph said. “Oops. Guess I stole your spotlight, Kakyoin.” Kakyoin’s expression hadn’t changed through that whole encounter, and his mood infected Joseph. “Kakyoin? You doing okay?”
“Unfortunately, the key word in every piece of evidence I’ve got is ‘likely’,” Kakyoin thought. “Only one piece of evidence has to be disproven for the others to be brushed off as coincidence. Because they might be just that. I’d rather this incident be a case where I’m tired from all the constant battles. We all would.”
After letting out a sigh, Joseph walked over to Kakyoin. His walking frame blocked Kakyoin’s view of the baby. Kakyoin tried to glance around Joseph. Once the old man sat down, both of his arms locked Kakyoin’s shoulders in place. “Look at me,” Joseph said. “Your anxiety is going to wear you out further. Your anxiety is reasonable, don’t get me wrong, but facts won’t replenish your body. Just relax. Your body will thank you.”
“Sleep might literally kill me,” Kakyoin said. “Or all of us, judging by our current situation.”
Joseph shook his head. “Five minutes from now, when I tell you to not blame yourself for that AGAIN, keep this conversation in mind. You fell asleep, stayed asleep because your body isn’t built for constant battles, and moved around a bit. That’s all. Besides.” He pointed at his face. “My lifespan’s a fraction of anyone here. No way will I let any of you cut it short before me.”
“Oh my gawd, I don’t blame myself.” Kakyoin’s tone went from mocking to stern. “Only comatose or drugged up morons can sleep on a crashing plane. A Stand must have attacked me.”
“Lo, mon ami.” Polnareff sat next to Kakyoin. “A slight change in temperature might as well be a Stand attack if we let our paranoia get the better of us. Apologize to Monsieur Joestar and rest. You clearly need it.” The Stardust Crusaders had recently been attacked by a Stand capable of increasing the sun’s temperature to ridiculous degrees within a specific radius.
“I’ll be awake all night with a fresh batch,” Joseph said, gesturing to his nearly empty canteen by his sleeping bag. Fresh coffee grounds lay against the canteen in a hand-woven sack, bought from a bazaar near the one where he bought the pills. “Jotaro, you’ll be carrying me gently until we reach civilization. Got it?”
Jotaro folded his magazine onto his thumb and returned Joseph’s stare. “Yes, yes, yes. Who are you to judge others for repeating themselves?”
“And you’re getting your egg porridge last,” Joseph said. “Kakyoin, you’re first. Get some grub in your belly. Don’t worry about apologizing, either. I thrive on the hatred of others.” He removed his hands from Kakyoin, chuckled, and stood up.
“Food…” Kakyoin clutched his grumbling stomach. His wits could use a meal to keep running. Briefly, he saw a strange object on top of the bowl. “Some kind of bug? Or am I seeing things?”
“Une question, Monsieur Joestar,” Polnareff said before Joseph turned around. “What exactly was that power you used to make the tree grow a whole bush in barely a second? I thought your Stand’s power was to take long-distance photographs.”
“It’s not my Stand’s power,” Joseph said. “It’s a breathing technique I trained in 50 years ago called-“
“Hold on!” Kakyoin shouted. He pushed his good hand onto the ground and stood up. “The baby’s putting something in the porridge!” That ‘insect’ was the baby’s hand, and it held a small burlap sack. From that sack poured some sort of powder, its color obscured by the dark of night. As Kakyoin ran to the pot, he saw the rest of Mannish Boy near the pot. His had been blocked by Joseph before now. Pain from the sudden movement tried to stop Kakyoin, but he kept running.
“The porridge needs to boil for a few more minutes,” Joseph said, lazily glancing back. His eyes widened as he saw Mannish near the bowl. “Oh my god!”
Kakyoin stopped between Mannish and his basket. Both of the baby’s hands were near the fire as it burned the burlap sack. Mannish willed the bag to burn faster, to no avail.
“No, you don’t! Augh!” Kakyoin reached down to grab Mannish, but the pain in his left arm halted him. One grunt later, he bent down and picked Mannish up by his white pajamas. Mannish made a show of his crying during his involuntary ascent.
By this point, Joseph had also reached the boiling pot, with Polnareff trailing behind. Jotaro put his magazine down and stood up. “Don’t let the medicine control you!” Joseph shouted as he placed his hands below the baby.
“I’m not crazy or sleep deprived, you old fucker!” Kakyoin shouted. “Look at his hands! He’s holding a burnt sack!” Nothing had dropped from Mannish since Kakyoin picked him up.
Mannish continued to cry. A purple vine wrapped around him, yanked him out of Kakyoin’s weak grasp, and brought him over to Joseph. “Oh dear,” he said. “He must have burnt his hands on the fire. Sorry for taking my eyes off you, little guy.”
“As long as there’s a next time, you can repent,” Polnareff said.
“Where’s the bag?” Kakyoin wondered. “No way could the bag have vanished…oh. This can’t be.” The last of the sack burned up in the fire. On top of that, the egg porridge didn’t look any different with the addition of Mannish’s power. “He let go of the sack. And now it’s ash.”
“Just feed him,” Jotaro said. “If he’s hungry, he won’t care if the porridge isn’t perfect. Another senior…you’re tired. Take the advice you gave Kakyoin and give me the night watch.”
The worry leaves Joseph’s face as he marvels at his grandson’s avoidance of the phrase ‘senior moment’. “One point, grandson. Now your count’s slightly less negative. I’ll make your coffee in a bit.” He glanced down. “Heh. Guess I’m seeing things. His hands aren’t burnt at all. Polnareff, grab a bowl.” Joseph put Mannish back into his basket.
Kakyoin glanced between Joseph and Polnareff until stopping on the latter. “Stop!” Kakyoin shouted. “The porridge is poisoned!” He knocked the bowl out of Polnareff’s hand, and it fell to the ground.
Joseph groaned. “If you’re going to be fussier than the baby, you should’ve brought your own food rather than a knife.”
“I’m sure you’re a great cook, Mr. Joestar! But that’s not the point! The porridge is poisoned!”
Joseph shrugged. “Who are you suggesting did that? One of us? The baby holding an invisible sack? I’ll be the one to check if he’s got something on his person, not you.”
“There’s no invisible Stand user nearby,” Jotaro said. “Even if it just left small footprints, I would’ve seen them.”
“Trust us,” Polnareff said. To Kakyoin’s surprise, Polnareff had gotten behind him. “My choice to not trust you all got Avdol killed. Please calm down before you also do something stupid.”
“I…no.” Kakyoin’s shocked expression transforms to a stern one at a blink’s pace. He reached into his pocket and wrapped his hand around the pocketknife. ”No. Pulling out a knife right now can only make things worse. There might not be a message on my arm to show anymore.” He let go of the knife. “Wait, what am I doing? The answer’s right in front of me!”
A smile planted itself onto Kakyoin’s face. “Sorry, Polnareff. You are right. The stress must be getting to me.”
“Eh?” Polnareff’s confusion lingered, so he transformed it into relief. “Glad you’re back.” He wrapped an arm around Kakyoin’s good arm. “You can always rely on us.”
“I know.” A few seconds later, Polnareff let go. Kakyoin walked over to the baby. Joseph’s arm, holding a bowl of porridge, blocked his path. “Hey there, little guy,” Kakyoin said. “Sorry for scaring you earlier. How about I make it up by giving you a bite of Mr. Joestar’s delicious egg porridge? You’ll love it!”
One of Joseph’s eyes widened while the other narrowed. “Kakyoin? Look, that’s sweet of you to suggest, but the baby’s not hungry. I tried to feed him earlier, but he wouldn’t eat.” In Joseph’s mechanic arm was a stained spoon, and Mannish’s cheek had porridge dripping off it. To avoid accidentally consuming the porridge, Mannish had hidden part of his lips inside his mouth.
“That’s a shame,” Kakyoin said. “I thought you’d make this easy, brat.” He kept up his smile as Hierophant Green appeared behind him. The Stand reached towards Mannish, whose body struggled to not move. “React to something no one here thinks you can see,” Kakyoin thought. “Ugh.”
Polnareff landed a chop to the back of Kakyoin’s neck. Once Kakyoin passed out, Hierophant Green also vanished. Polnareff reached his arm around the high schooler’s waist and stopped him from falling. “Sorry for this,” he said.
“Ha ha,” Mannish said. His reaction, though an exaggeration, stemmed from true relief. Expressing fear would give him away as a Stand user.
A few minutes later, Joseph had finished cooking and put out the fire. Jotaro and Polnareff carried Kakyoin over to his sleeping bag. “Kakyoin’s really suffering,” Jotaro said. “Both mentally and physically. I can’t believe a single chop knocked him out.”
Polnareff nodded as the two lowered Kakyoin. “Sometimes I wish our bodies got stronger, rather than creatures we summoned.”
“In my day, strength was about using your surroundings, not summoning creatures,” Joseph said, flexing a muscle with his metallic arm. “Where your body fails you, technology will always work the same way.”
Jotaro stood up. “We get it, you shot a vampire with a tommy gun and have a mechanical arm. Mom’s told me about your adventure a dozen times over. Good thing you didn’t live in Japan or I’d be the one to bust you out of jail.”
“Both of you shut up and grab a spoon.” The spoons were in a soup bowl next to the other bowl.
Polnareff and Jotaro walked over. “I wasn’t talking?” Polnareff asked.
“I thought I was eating last,” Jotaro said. Both men picked up a spoon.
Joseph held out his bowl. “Grab a spoonful. The baby’s stomach is grumbling like crazy. He’s probably afraid of new food or strangers feeding him. If he sees us enjoying the porridge, he’ll want some too.”
“I don’t know,” Jotaro said. To Jotaro, Kakyoin didn’t seem like the type to act so irrationally, and he wanted to understand why. “Was Kakyoin really attack- “
“Please stop looking for faults in everything your Grandpa does,” Polnareff said. ”You’re just eating a spoonful of porridge.”
Jotaro shrugged. “Fine.” “I’m probably overthinking this, anyway.”
All three dipped their spoons in Joseph’s bowl and stuck the porridge into their mouths. “Mm!” they said with varying degrees of enthusiasm.
Mannish almost flashed them a grin. “You did well, Polnareff. Looks like you can at least listen to unconscious suggestion.”