Chapter Text
Despite the vague promise of hanging out again, Sansa could not find it in her to have the courage to initiate communication again. She didn’t hear him going to work the days after Christmas, while she had picked up a few extra shift at the coffeehouse where she worked.
The days between Christmas and New Year’s Eve were always the busiest of the year and she enjoyed keeping herself occupied enough to not have the time or the energy to be alone with her thoughts.
The downside was that when she got home, she was usually too tired to even make dinner, let alone entertain her neighbor. Besides, most of the times she couldn’t even hear what he was doing and she could only guess, based on the lack of noise, what he wasn’t doing anymore: going to work, talking to what she was almost sure was his brother and possibly drinking.
The only sound that came out of that apartment was the soft snore she would sometimes hear if she stayed up long enough.
Eventually, Margaery had managed to convince her to spend New Year’s Eve at her house, promising it was only a small party of trusted friends. She lived in the area, close enough that it wouldn’t have been absurd to walk home once the party was over: her plan was to call Uber anyway, but she liked to have the choice to not end up stranded there overnight.
As much as she didn’t want to admit it, a part of her was genuinely excited at the idea of having fun. She still worried it was not the smartest choice, but she knew if she didn’t go Margaery was going to start asking questions she wasn’t ready to answer yet, and she couldn’t afford to lose her friendship. She figured a house party was the safest choice anyway, so if she was going to indulge into being a normal 24 year old it might as well be that night.
With not much else to do, she took her time to get dressed and do her make up. Like the days before, she was tempted to check in on the man on the other side, but she had no idea how to do that in a way that didn’t look too forced.
When Uber notified her that her ride was a couple of minutes away, she put on her shoes and made her way to the couch to grab her bag.
“Have fun, Lady.” the man said, the words so unexpected she literally jumped: there was no bitterness in his tone, not even a hint of sarcasm. His voice was warm and deep, like always, and the only thing she could detach was maybe a bit of sadness. But who was she to judge his mood on merely three spoken words?
“Thanks… you too?”
He chuckled and didn’t answer.
“Is everything alright?” She couldn’t help but ask, knowing she was going to think about him a lot if she left things there.
“Oh, yes, I’m sorry. It’s just, I was afraid you were going to spend tonight by yourself and I’m glad you’re not.”
The idea that he had been paying attention to her even a little made her feel flustered.
“I… yes, I’m going at a friend’s. Nothing crazy.”
“Mh, wise choice.”
“Are you going out?”
“Nah, I don’t think so. Not this year, I’ll catch the next one”
“Oh, okay.” Her phone ringed, her ride was waiting for her.
“I’m sorry, I have to go. Happy new year”
“Happy new year.”
“And don’t drink too much.” she added as she got out of her apartment and closed her door before she could take it back. That was certainly not the way to make someone want to talk to you.
Margaery hugged her like they hadn’t seen each other in years and Sansa let herself be lulled a little.
“I’ve got something for you.”
“Sansa, I told you, you don’t have to.”
“Yes, and last time I actually believed you and you got me a present anyway. So here.”
As it turned out, both of them had bought a scarf for the other.
“Okay, this is a sign from the universe that we have to go out before the winter ends.”
Not wanting to ruin the mood, Sansa vaguely agreed while looking around at other people in the living room. Most of them were known faces: close friends of Margaery that Sansa had already met in the past and a couple of girls who had attended university with them with their respective boyfriends. One of them also looked familiar, but she couldn’t really place him. Before she could take a closer look at him, Margaery placed a drink in her hand and dragged her to the other side of the room, re-introducing her to her childhood friends.
A couple of drinks into the night, she overcame her initial reluctance and started to catch up with the others: apparently everyone remembered she used to have red hair and wanted to know what she’d been up to. She didn’t expect the small talk to be about something else, but she had hoped no one would actually pay too much attention to her.
“I’m working as a barista now”
“Oh, I thought you wanted to write?”
“Yes, well, still figuring things out, you know.”
They were polite enough not to ask any more personal questions and the conversation quickly moved to another topic.
Around 11 pm she excused herself from the small group with the intention of getting back to Margery, wherever she was.
She found her with Kate and Alyssa, the girls they used to hang out with back in college, and the boyfriends.
“Sansa, there you are!” Kate said, quickly hugging her. Beside her there was the boyfriend she was sure she had already met.
“Sansa?” He asked and she extended her hand to greet him.
“I’m Paul. I couldn’t recognize you with the black hair, but it’s really you!”
Her smile immediately dropped.
“Excuse me?”
“You’re Ramsay’s ex, right? You don’t remember me?”
She froze. This is it. She had almost never hung out with Ramsay’s friends, but she had met them in a few occasions and the name Paul did ring a bell.
“I mean, you completely went off the radar at some point. He looked for you everywhere.”
Is he making conversation or is he threatening me?
She tried not to show how hard it had suddenly become to breathe.
The silence held on, but she could only stare at Paul, trying to decipher the severity of the danger she was in. He didn’t look pissed: she knew Ramsay didn’t show his true colors to most of the people, maybe Paul had no idea of who he was friends with.
Or maybe he’s just as crazy.
“Don’t tell him I was here.” She conveyed eventually, not without a great effort on not letting her voice tremble.
“What?”
“Please.”
She glanced at Margaery, hoping she could understand.
How can she? You refused to tell her anything.
“I’m sorry, I have to go.”
“What? Come on, you can’t leave now.”
“Mer, just… I’ll text you when I’ll get home, okay? Just, I have to.”
“Call a ride, I’ll wait with you outside.”
As she pulled out her phone, her friend grabbed her bag and both of their coats.
Once they were out, she was afraid she was going to tear up at the sight of her friend standing in the cold with her. But that was what friends did, wasn’t it? Not that I would know.
“You want to talk about it?”
“I’d rather not.”
She found a driver who was only five minutes away, and they stood there in silence.
When a car stopped on the driveway, Margaery took her hand and held it tight.
“You can call me anytime.”
“I know-”
“And you text me when you get home.”
“Yes”
She didn’t let go right away, and Sansa didn’t try to free herself: she was already feeling guilty enough for leaving like that.
Eventually, Margaery kissed her on the cheek and turned back to her house without saying another word.
- - -
‘Home. Sorry for before.’
‘don’t be, we’ll talk later. Happy new year xx’
She locked the door and finally dropped on the couch: she was safe. Paul had no way of knowing where she lived, he didn’t even know she was in the area. He only knew she was friends with Margery, but that wasn’t much to go on, was it?
“Fuck!” She screamed into the pillow on the couch: at this point the drop of adrenaline was catching up to her as she didn’t need to be alert anymore. She stayed there, shaking, too overwhelmed to do something.
It was a close call, but everything is still okay.
Of course, her neighbor heard her.
“Rough night?” She didn’t trust her voice yet, but a small laugh escaped her lips nonetheless.
“Do you… want to talk about it?”
“I really don’t.”
“Okay, okay, fair. It’s just, it’s the last 10 minutes of the year. If you want company, we could be miserable together. Like we were on Christmas.”
She sat up: it was almost scary how much talking to this man actually comforted her.
“I’d like that.”
“Great. So let’s get a drink, shall we?”
“I don’t have anything in the house.”
“Ah, that’s the first thing you’ll have to change for the next year. See, I like to be prepared, so I bought Champagne for the occasion.”
“Fancy.”
“I would offer you a glass, if I could.”
“Thank you, but I’m already very tipsy.”
He hummed, and she heard him walking away, probably toward the kitchen.
“How would you rank this year?” His voice was a bit farther than usual.
“You know what? Now that I think about it, it doesn’t even make the top three of my worst.”
“Well, there’s always the next one to make up for it.”
“Aw, thank you.”
He was next to her again and she heard him sip his drink. “It’s not midnight yet.” He ignored her, and there was complete silence for a few more seconds.
“You know what? It might not be my worst year, but it definitely makes it to my top five.”
Not sure why, but suddenly she became hyper aware of the fact that she literally knew nothing about this man’s life.
“What happened?”
“Just, the girl I thought I was going to marry dumped me, and a couple of months later I found her at my dad’s arm at Christmas, announcing their engagement. You know, the usual”
“I’m sorry, what?!”
“Turns out she figured my dad has more money than me, and he’s closest to check out of this world. So two birds with one stone, I guess. I’m surprised it took her this long.”
“You’re shitting me, right?”
“I wish”
“But this stuff… it’s not supposed to happen in real life. Maybe on a bad soap opera.”
She knew that wasn’t true, she had to deal with her fair share of shitty people, more than what a regular person meets in their whole life. She had always took for granted, though, that if one day she managed to be completely free of her past, then things would only get better in the future.
But to find out that other shitty people existed besides her personal demons, there was no guarantee she wasn’t going to meet new villains.
Anyway, it was not the most sensitive thing to say to the man.
“Oh trust me, the more money is involved, the more real life drama you get.”
And yes, she knew that too, she just didn’t expect someone who lived on the same street as her to have that kind of money. She was just about to apologize when from outside the loud noise of people cheering reminded them what they weren’t celebrating: she checked her phone and yes, it was midnight.
“Happy new year, my lord” she said instead, hoping she hadn’t upset him.
“Happy new year, my lady.”
They stayed like that, listening to the noise of the city gradually coming down. It was peaceful, for a small while, until she remembered what they were talking about.
“You didn’t lose much, for the record.”
“What?”
“This girl. If she was after your money, you’re better off without her.”
She expected him to either agree, tell her to sod off or both; she was not anticipating a laugh.
A bitter laugh, as much as she felt confident recognizing tone, but still a laugh.
“I’m serious.”
“Oh, I know you are. I just never had the pleasure to talk to someone who has never seen me, so you caught me by surprise.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“My lady, I’m… ugly. Objectively speaking. It’s not my nose or my face or something superficial like that, it’s something that actually makes me repulsive.”
“I’m sure that’s not true.”
“It is, trust me. So I accepted at a young age that any girl who was ever going to date me, she was going to do it for the money. My family is like, rich, if that wasn’t clear. And I was right, it’s always been about the money. I knew it, these girls knew that I knew it, and yet I somehow tried to make it work.”
He paused for another long sip of his drink and Sansa, on her part, was speechless: she could not imagine someone being so ugly that they completely gave up on themselves.
“So when I started dating... this girl, I knew it was not different: but as time passed, I started to actually fall for her, I started to hope she at least cared about me. So of course, she had to be the worst of them”
She wanted to tell him that she understood, she knew what it meant to be fooled, to trust the wrong person, but she was afraid she wasn’t going to be able to refrain from sharing her own story.
“I’m sorry. But I stand my ground, she wasn’t good for you to begin with, if it had always been a matter of money.”
“I can’t ask for more than that.”
“Bullshit. Also there’s no such thing as ‘objectively repulsive’.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“When you get to know people, you completely change your mind: if the attractive guy turns out to be an asshole, you’re going to be repulsed by him every time you see him. Instead, when the quiet girl buys you coffee before class because you forgot your wallet, you realize her smile is actually pleasant to look at. And you’re never going to think about her as anything less than ‘pretty’, even if you’ll never get the chance to talk to her again”
“… that’s bullshit.”
“It’s not!”
“Well, I assure you, that has never happened in my world.”
“Maybe it’s your world that sucks. No offense.”
“Ah, maybe you’re right.”
If his tone had been a bit harsher throughout the conversation, she was pretty sure he was smiling now: there was something about his voice whenever he smiled, something that made her feel warm.
“Still, you don’t know what I look like.” He added as an afterthought.
“I know that you’re kind enough to check on me, so even if you told me what you looked like, I wouldn’t be able to picture you ugly.”
“I… thank you, my lady. I appreciate the thought.”
“I think I should be thanking you, for distracting me.”
“Oh, no worries. My door, or wall, is always open for you.”
It wasn’t easy to fall asleep that night, not with the fear that Paul was going to somehow send Ramsay right at her door, but the idea that she had now someone she could consider a friend on her side helped her in the process.