Chapter Text
Yang screamed in frustration, punching a tree for extra effect. The loud crack the tree made as it split in half mostly drowned out her exclamation of “We SUCK!”
“It wasn’t that bad,” offered Ruby unconvincingly.
Weiss threw a disdainful look in Ruby’s direction. “What are you talking about? It was terrible!”
“Weiss,” said Ruby warningly.
“It’s this stupid arm!” yelled Yang, pulling of her prosthetic and throwing to the floor in disgust. “It’s a piece of junk!”
“Yang Xiao Long!” admonished Weiss. “That piece of junk is state-of-the-art Atlesian military technology!”
“Well your military is bullshit!” Yang flung at Weiss before stomping off into the forest.
Weiss gasped at the insult, which she took very personally considering her sister Winter had made a career in the Atlesian military, and Winter was of course excellent at it, the best in fact.
“Yang!” called out Blake, making to move after the blonde, until Ruby took hold of her wrist stopping her.
“Just give her a minute.”
Blake’s shoulders slumped. “This is all my fault,” she muttered, sinking to the floor.
They had been training all morning, upon their team leaders insistence and to say it hadn’t been going well was an understatement. Every-time Ruby called for a bumbleby move Yang and Blake ended up almost killing one another, or their team-mates, or anything in their general vicinity to be honest. Yang was right, they did suck.
“What are you talking about?” asked Weiss, irritated, one hand on a cocked hip.
Blake looked up to where Ruby and Weiss stood in front of her. “I mean you were doing fine until I came along. I watched you train, you adapted, you were all so slick. And now… you don’t need me.”
“Oh please! Enough with the pity-party!” said an exasperated Weiss. Ruby looked like she was going to intervene on Blake’s behalf but one glare from Weiss quickly shut that idea down. “You watched us for what, a day? Two? You think we just clicked back together and that it wasn’t hard work?”
Blake didn’t say anything, but yeah, she kind of did think that.
“We hadn’t seen one-another in almost a year, and yes sometimes things seemed to flow wonderfully, but other times we were a disaster.”
“Weiss is right,” added Ruby gently, sitting down next to Blake. “We have all been through things in the past year that we’re still trying to deal with, and sometimes those things get in the way, but we’ve been finding a way to work through them together. That’s what you and Yang need to do.”
“I thought we had,” she paused, before deciding to elaborate. “We had a talk and cleared the air a little, but now this morning, it’s as if it never happened.”
Blake felt miserable. Yang had been so prickly again this morning, and Blake couldn’t help but think it was her fault, although what she had done she didn’t know, besides leaving an injured Yang all alone and dropping out of her life for the past year.
“So, you try again,” offered Ruby as a solution. “You talk, and you keep talking until everything is out in the open. Remember Yang has her own demons she’s working through. Sometimes its not about us at all.”
The way Ruby said it left Blake wondering how many times she’d been on the receiving end of one of Yang’s tirades. She didn’t want to know. It was too sad to think of Ruby and Yang arguing when both sisters absolutely adored one-another.
Ruby stood, brushing herself off. Blake looked at her questioningly.
“I’m going to check she’s okay,” came the explanation.
Blake almost offered to go with her, but didn’t think it would be a good idea. She needed to think about what Weiss and Ruby had said, besides, she and Yang needed a break from each other.
***
Yang could feel them all watching her as she left, and it only irritated her more. She hated having outbursts like this in front of her team, if only because it made her feel weak, like she wasn’t okay, that she couldn’t cope. Which was a little too close to the truth for her liking. Everyone used to say she was the strongest and most capable person they knew, so why couldn’t she just be that person again?
And now Blake was back with them and everything should have just fallen into place, except Yang felt completely off-kilter. All the thoughts and feelings she believed she had dealt with had risen up and were now bubbling under the surface. After their talk last night, Yang had thought they’d be okay, she and Blake would just go back to being who they were, yet when she woke up today, Yang felt tired and grumpy, and everything was making her mad. She thought she’d left these feelings behind in Patch, but no, here they were again.
Frustrated tears started to spill as Yang stomped further away form her team until she finally leaned against a tree, her arm acting as a barrier between her head and the bark. Yang would have liked to punch the tree with her other arm, except she couldn’t of course, having left her prosthetic on the floor at the camp, so instead she settled for a good kick instead.
“Yang? Are you okay?”
Yang tried to blink away her tears, keeping her face hidden in her arm. “Go away Ruby,” she growled.
“Nuh-uh. Nope. Can’t do that.”
“Why the hell not?” asked Yang, still hiding.
“Because you’re my sister, and you’re upset, and I promised myself I’d never walk away from you again when you are hurting.”
Yang groaned. Trust Ruby to know how to punch her right in the gut. Making sure to wipe her still wet eyes on her arm as best she could, Yang slowly turned around. Ruby was sat on a fallen tree, legs swinging slightly as she looked at her sister. She still looked so young, but Yang had seen just how much Ruby had grown whilst she’d stayed home, and not just physically. Some of the innocence she’d had was lost, but she still had a big heart, and tons of optimism, and somehow the wisdom she used to hide behind childishness shone through more. That being said, she could still be pretty childish when she wanted to be, just ask Weiss, but it was tempered by other qualities these days.
“So, what’s going on?”
“What do you mean?” Yang didn’t know why she said it, she knew full well what Ruby was talking about.
To Ruby’s credited she didn’t give Yang the eye-roll she deserved. Instead she followed Yang’s thread and answered the question. “Well, you seem off your game today, and Blake’s here and -”
“I already told you it’s that stupid arm. Weiss can praise Atlas technology all she likes but it doesn’t change the fact that stupid prosthetic doesn’t feel right, and it hurts, and it’s unreliable.”
“Yang…”
There was no fooling her sister and Yang knew it. Sighing, she stopped pacing and sat next to Ruby. Not looking at her, Yang leaned forward to stare at the forest floor, her arm resting across her knee. “I’m scared, Ruby,” she finally admitted.
Ruby didn’t say anything, sensing Yang had more to say. “I can’t stop seeing him hurting her. Everyone always talks about me losing my arm, but Blake could have lost her life that day. What if I make a mistake and she ends up hurt again? Or,” Yang was almost too afraid to say it out loud, “she decides this is all too much and takes off again? What if I’m not… enough… I’m not worth sticking around for?”
“Yang…” said Ruby again, sadly. “Have you spoken to Blake about this?”
“Not really,” said Yang, shaking her head. “We talked a little about why she left - she said it was to protect me, to protect all of us - but knowing that doesn’t erase all the pain of the last year. I spent so many of my waking minutes wondering why, worrying she was hurt or worse. I started analyzing every moment we ever had, if she didn’t really care for us at all, trying to decide if it was all an act. I thought if I knew why, I could just wipe all those thoughts away and start again, but instead it has just left me frightened to go through it all again. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost her again, Rubes.”
There was more to the story than Yang was saying, but she wasn’t ready to admit it to herself, let alone her baby sister.
“Were you and Blake… together, at Beacon?”
Yang swallowed hard. Trust Ruby to know exactly what Yang wasn’t saying. “Together?” she choked, hardly wanting Ruby to elaborate, but so shocked her sister had brought it up that she could only repeat the word.
“Like… romantically?” pressed Ruby, seeming a little nervous herself. They had never really talked about this sort of stuff, not in a serious way.
“No, we weren’t,” answered Yang truthfully. Maybe if the fall of Beacon hadn’t of happened… Yang was surprised Ruby had been so perceptive about her feelings for Blake though. Was she really that transparent? Regardless, her curiosity was piqued. “Why do you ask?”
“You just always seemed like you were,” shrugged Ruby.
Now Yang felt a little uncomfortable, although she couldn’t put her finger on why. “What do you mean?”
“I dunno. Just the way you behaved around one another. It was the little things like touches here and there, or they way when one of you was sitting, the others head always gravitated to the lap, or how you always sought the other out, or how your face would light up when Blake walked into the room, and she did the same, or -”
“Okay, okay I get it,” said Yang blushing, cutting her little sister off before she could embarrass her any further. Yang couldn’t deny what Ruby was saying. They did do all those things, and at first Yang thought it was just normal partner stuff, like being thrown together in a team was bound to create a close bond, but slowly she understood her feelings for Blake ran deeper than that.
Yang decided to throw all caution to the wind, and not even deny what Ruby was saying. This was Ruby after all. “Was I really that obvious?”
Ruby smiled, nodding. “You were like a love-sick puppy.”
“I was not!” protested Yang, giving Ruby a small shove.
“Just ask Weiss, or Nora, or Ren, or Jaune, or Uncle Qrow, or -”
“Ruby!” Yang had enough of her little sisters teasing. She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the revelation that everyone in her life knew how in love she was with Blake. In love. The thought surprised her, but it was true, there was no point in denying it.
Sliding her arm around Yangs waist, Ruby leaned her head against her sisters shoulder. “You should talk to her. Blake is the only one that can give you answers. She’s pretty upset too, you know. Maybe she knows more of what you’re feeling than you think.”
Yang tilted her head towards Ruby, “What do y-”
“Yang?”
Yang jumped so hard, she cracked her jaw on Ruby’s head.
“Ow!” yelped Ruby, rubbing the impact point.
Yang sprang to her feet, twisting so quickly to face the figure behind them, she almost lost her balance.
“B-Blake!” Yang’s face was scarlet. “When did you… How long have you…”
“Not long.”
Not long? That hardly answered Yang’s question. How much had she heard? She glanced at Ruby who shrugged, seemingly knowing exactly what Yang really wanted to know. She looked back at Blake, standing with one arm dangling at her side, the other crossing her waist to clutch her elbow, and was she blushing? Yang couldn’t be sure, but every fear in Yang’s head seemed to confirm Blake had heard enough.
“I… um… I came to see if you were okay, and to apologize.”
Ruby slid off the log. “I’d better get back to Weiss. She’s probably er… missing me,” finished Ruby lamely, ignoring Yang’s pleading look before skipping away.
Yang watched her sister leave, swearing to get revenge on being left like this, before her eyes settled back on Blake. Instantly she felt guilty for wanting revenge. This was Blake. She could be left alone with Blake. She certainly didn’t want to avoid her, but it would have been nice to have time to think about everything she and Ruby had discussed first.
Her thoughts returned to Blake’s opening remarks. “Apologize? What for?”
Blake took a step forward but then stopped herself. She looked incredibly unsure of herself, and it saddened Yang. She didn’t want Blake to feel this way around her. “For messing up, during training. I was all over the place, and you were paying the price and I just - I can’t be like that.”
A part of Yang wanted to scream at Blake in frustration, not because of what Blake was saying but because of how she was saying it. Blake didn’t deserve that though, so instead Yang took a deep breath and said, “I wish you wouldn’t do that.”
“What?”
“Blame yourself for everything. Not everything is your fault.”
“But I -”
“Made a few wrong calls?” asked Yang cutting her off. “Well so did I!”
“But -”
“No buts Blake. We were both messing up today, but that’s why we train, so that when it comes to a real fight we are as prepared as we can be and don’t make those kinds of mistakes. We both need to get used to working with one another again.”
Blake sighed, finally letting her guard down. “I just don’t remember it ever being this hard,” she admitted, slowly making her way to the log Ruby had just vacated.
“I know,” agreed Yang, sitting next to Blake, facing the opposite way. “We just clicked from that very first fight in the forest. But don’t you remember some of our training sessions after that? We made some pretty bad mistakes back then.” Yang smiled at the memories and was pleased to see Blake doing the same. “Remember when we were sparring with team JNPR,” asked Yang latching onto a memory, “and we were trying out combination 2-5-2, and somehow we ended up taking out the whole of team JNPR and our own team, including ourselves, and Professor’s Port and Goodwitch?”
Blake snickered, “And then Professor Port sat up and said -”
“Well that was rather grim!” they both finished in mock Port voices, suddenly laughing uncontrollably at the absurdity of the moment as if it were happening all over again.
“I wonder what he’s up to now,” said Blake wistfully, as her laughter subsided.
“I saw him not too long ago, and Oobleck.” Yang stared out into the forest ahead, remembering the night they had visited. The night which had, in the end, spurred her on to getting back to her old self. “They’re rebuilding Beacon.”
“They are?” Yang suspected that like her, Blake had never considered such a thing.
“They’ve cleared out nearly all the remaining Grimm now, although they’re still working on what to do with the one frozen at the top of the tower, and Professor Goodwitch is leading a team who are rebuilding. I think they are hoping to start letting students back within the year.”
“Would you go back? To Beacon? Finish your training, get your license?”
Yang shivered slightly. “No. I don’t know if I could ever go back there. Would you?”
“No,” answered Blake quickly, as if she had thought about this before and already knew her answer. “Beacon was a safe-haven for me once, but it’s tainted now. Even the good memories are sullied in a way.”
“Not all of them I hope?” asked Yang, smiling at Blake, remembering all the hours they had spent together.
Blake couldn’t help but smile back. “No, not all of them.”
They fell into a companionable silence for a minute, Yang lost in thoughts of their time together at Beacon, which of course immediately led to her conversation with Ruby only a few moments before. She could feel her cheeks burning and needed to think about something else, and fast.
“So you went -” she began just as Blake started to talk. The both abruptly stopped, smiling awkwardly.
“You go,” said Blake.
Yang shifted so she was sat length-way’s on the long, facing Blake’s profile. “I was just going to ask about your trip home. How was it? Seeing your parents after such a long time?”
“It was…” Blake stared off into the forest, “terrifying, and amazing. They’re amazing. I was so nervous, but they just welcomed me back without question.” She changed position to mirror Yang so they were facing each other. “They listened, and were understanding and supportive. They were thrilled to meet Sun. Well my mum was, my dad not so much.” Blake laughed a little to herself, whilst Yang felt a stab of jealousy that Sun had met Blake’s parents when she hadn’t, and just like that all thoughts feelings were pushing their way up again. “I told them about the fall of Beacon, and where I now stood with the White Fang, and that was when they decided to help me. We managed to obtain a scroll that suggested the next target was Haven and so we mobilized the faunus of Menagerie and set out together.”
“So they’re here with you?” asked Yang.
Blake nodded. “They were, until I split off to scout ahead. We’re a large group and were moving a little too slowly for my liking, so I went ahead, cutting through the forest.” Her voice quieted a little. “That’s when I spotted the three of you.” She looked to Yang, gauging her reaction. Seemingly happy with what she saw, she continued. “I was shocked at first, a reunion in a forest wasn’t exactly what I had imagined. I wanted nothing more to join you, but I was scared of how you might all react. The more I watched you, the more I convinced myself none of you needed me.”
Yang wanted to protest, to tell Blake they would always need her, but Blake wasn’t finished.
“So I decided I would just follow you for a little while, to make sure you were all okay, and then,” she almost stopped herself from saying the next words, “I’d leave.”
Blake paused, her voice hitching a little at those last words. Yang frowned. She was just going to leave? Without saying anything - again? Yang stared at Blake, hardly able to believe what she was hearing. The pain and anger Yang felt at hearing Blake didn’t want to stay was almost overwhelming. Before she could say anything, Blake started talking again.
“Which was why I was under prepared when I ran into you all yesterday. I heard Weiss scream and thought you were being attacked and I guess instinct just kicked in.”
Yang was still hung up on Blake saying she wanted to leave. “So you’re going to leave again? Even after what you said last night?”
Blake’s eyes went wide, her ears flattening. “No! No, I - I thought it would be easier, but -” she cut Yang off before she could say anything, “I can’t because I don’t want to. I know Adam is still out there, and I know he won’t stop coming after me, after you, but despite that I can’t leave you, Yang. I don’t want to ever leave you again.”
Yang could hear the truth in Blake’s words. Yes she was scared, but she was fighting her fear because more than running, she wanted to stay - for Yang. She knew why Blake leaving had hurt so much, and why those feelings had been pulled to the surface once more, because there was another feeling that came with it, that was so powerful Yang sometimes felt she was drowning in it.
She couldn’t bear to see Blake cry. Instead Yang, pulled her into her chest, wrapping her arm around her. “I love you,” she whispered into Blake’s hair.
Blake tensed, pulling back to give Yang a startled look. “You - you what?”
Yang was confused for a moment by Blake’s sudden change in demeanour, then she realized what she said. She didn’t mean to, it just kind of slipped out. Now it was her turn to go wide-eyed. Embarrassed, Yang pulled apart from Blake. “I um - I…” She couldn’t find her words.
“You love me?” questioned Blake softly.
An overwhelming part of Yang wanted to run as far away from this situation as was humanly possibly, but she couldn’t do that to Blake, especially after she’d led off at her for her own tendency to run when scared. Yang ran her hand nervously through her hair. “I…er… I guess? I mean, I -” She wriggled uncomfortably, trying to put some distance between them.
Distance that Blake didn’t seem to want. Before Yang knew what was happening, Blake’s lips were on hers. Yang had time to notice how soft they felt on her own, how much she tingled at the contact, how her own lips instinctively parted a little more, a soft moan of pleasure escaping before panic set in, she stiffened and jerked away.
A move she instantly regretted because Blake looked stricken.
“I- I’m s-so sorry,” she stuttered, scooting away from Yang. “I shouldn’t have done that. I don’t know what I was thinking. To - to kiss you without even ask -” she muttered to herself, pulling one leg over the log, readying to jump off.
Yang’s brain kicked back into gear. Reaching out she grabbed Blake’s arm. “It’s okay.”
Blake shook her head, “No it’s not. I shouldn’t have done that without asking you first.”
“Blake.” Yang commanded, needing Blake to look at her. “Blake,” she tried again, this time yellow eyes meeting her own. “It’s okay. I’m sorry I jerked away. I… liked it.” Yang knew how this must sound to Blake. She certainly didn’t act as though she liked it. “I just -” Yang struggled to explain herself. “I just don’t think I’m ready for anything like that right now.” She sighed dejectedly. Kissing Blake was something she’d thought about - a lot. Having Blake kiss her for the first time and Yang pulling away was not what she had expected to do. She really did want to kiss Blake more, every day if she could, but although that desire was there, something was holding her back. “I’ve not been in a good place, and I don’t want us to start something, only for it to go wrong because I’m still working through stuff,” she tried explaining.
Blake nodded in understanding, even whilst she sat with her head hanging, her body language dejected. Yang wasn’t sure if Blake had really even heard what she said.
Inching a little closer, Yang tried elaborating. It was hard to articulate when she was trying to work out her own feelings on the matter, but for Blake’s sake, and her own, she needed to. She wanted to make this right. After all, she had uttered those three little words. Three little words with the biggest meaning in the world. “I’ve spent most of the past year angry at you.” Blake flinched a little. So she was listening. “Not because of my arm, no my anger for that is reserved for Adam, but because you made me feel like what we had wasn’t important. That I wasn’t important to you. I understand now why you left, but that doesn’t erase the hurt. I need to work on those feelings, and they are about much more than just you I think. You’re leaving just compounded feelings that I thought I’d dealt with long ago.”
“I’m sorry,” Blake said again.
“I’m not blaming you, Blake.” Yang sighed, trying to think of a way to make Blake understand. “I didn’t tell you at the time, but my mom had re-surfaced.”
Blake’s head jerked up.
Yang nodded. “I know. And when I say re-surfaced, I don’t mean in a good way either. Turns out she’s been checking in with Uncle Qrow from time to time. She saved me from Neo that day on the train, but then asked Qrow to tell me she wouldn’t do it again. So, Raven was on my mind quiet a bit. Then Beacon happened, and I was so… angry. Angry at my mom for coming back into my life, at Adam for hurting us both, at my dad for trying so hard with me, at Ruby for wanting to continue fighting, at you for not letting us know you were okay… I was so angry I didn’t know what to do with it all. There were times it was so overwhelming I -” Yang stopped herself, not wanting to return to how dark some days were. “So I detached. I learned how to not feel anything at all, at least I thought I did, but people have a way of making you feel again.”
She smiled at the memories of Professor’s Oobleck and Port making her laugh, and facing the truth of why she wouldn’t even try her new arm, and her dad’s unending patience with her to giving up his time to help her get fighting fit again even after she’d pushed him away. Even Ruby had written to her when she could, giving her news of each village or town they visited, and updates on Nora, Ren and Jaune.
“What made you come back?” asked Blake tentatively.
Yang was brought out of her musings by the question. “A number of things. The professors, seeing my dad sad at not being able to help neither me nor Ruby, a curiosity about my mom, Ruby’s letters. They all pushed me in the end, but I guess mostly I felt I had to help Ruby. I hated the thought of her out here alone. I know she wasn’t actually alone. She had Jaune and Nora and Ren, but she didn’t have me. I knew if anything happened to her I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing I could have helped her.”
“So you came after her,” smiled Blake.
“Not before visiting Raven.”
“You found your mom?” asked Blake, shocked. Raven was always such a sore point for Yang that the thought of her actively looking for her was a surprise. “How was it?”
Yang shrugged. “Awful.”
She didn’t say anything for a moment, and Blake didn’t press.
“She was cold and uncaring. Tried to get me to join her band, although she didn’t try very hard. She clearly didn’t want me there. To be fair, I didn’t really want to be there either, but she was my quickest way to find Ruby, and although I didn’t want to be there, some part of me needed to see her. I needed to remind myself of why I hated her. She made it pretty easy. So we left as quickly as we could.”
“We?”
“Oh yeah, she kidnapped Weiss.” Yang smiled at Blake’s expression. “I know, right? The only good thing to come out of it all was that Weiss and I found each other, and then together we found Rubes.”
Yang watched Blake process all that she’d been told, her ears flicking slightly as new thoughts passed through her. Yang wanted nothing more than to reach out and stroke those ears, which brought her back round to why she’d started to confess her feelings in the first place.
“Blake,” she said quietly, getting Blake’s attention once more. “I meant what I said. I do love you,” - it was easier to say it the second time - “and I guess you like me to?” She said it a little uncertainly, despite Blake initiating the kiss.
“How could I not?” asked Blake so emphatically, she pulled a huge grin onto Yang’s face.
“I would really like us to maybe explore this more… one day, but I think we need to get used to being in each others company again before we start with all the kissing and stuff.”
Yang felt a little awkward. In some ways what she was saying was going against everything she wanted, but her gut was telling her it was the right thing to do. She meant what she’d said before, she didn’t want to mess this up, and starting a relationship from such a bad place in her life just felt like she would be setting them up to fail.
Blake smiled. “I can wait.”
She didn’t say it, but Yang heard her unspoken words. I’m not going anywhere.
“Can I hug you?” asked Yang, needing the comfort of Blake in her arms. She didn’t know what she’d do if Blake said no.
“Of course you can!” smiled Blake shyly, before adding with mock sternness “But no kissing.”
Yang laughed at the admonishment, despite not being the perpetrator of such an act. “Not yet,” she corrected as Blake pulled her into a hug.