Chapter Text
"Jihoon!"
Jihoon looks around for the source of the voice and sees his best friends waving their arms like crazy.
"Ugh. When are you gonna stop being embarrassing?" Jihoon asks rolling his eyes at Soonyoung and Jun.
The said friends only looked at each other, laughing. Jihoon didn't miss the fond smiles on their faces. Soonyoung and Jun. Who would have thought, but also, who wouldn't have?
"You heard the guy. Stop being gross." Wonwoo says fishing out his keys from his pocket. "How's the flight?"
"It's okay. A little jet lagged but I'm glad I'm back home."
Thirteen months. It's been thirteen months since he's last been home.
After graduation, Jihoon took an offer for further education in Japan. It was hard for him to leave if he's being honest. Given his introverted personality, it was hard for him to leave his comfort zone and step into a new one, blind. If it wasn't for his friends' encouragement and an expansive work/learning opportunity, he would never even consider it.
More than a year ago
"Congratulations boys! I'm so proud of you!" Jeonghan says doing his best in pulling all four of them in a hug
"Thanks hyung! I'm just glad it's all over. I think I'm gonna just do nothing but sleep for a month before I start looking for work."
Jeonghan scoffs at that. "Yah! We all know you've already secured a job. You and Junhui. I can't believe you're gonna be working together. Like, don't you ever get tired of seeing each other's faces?"
"That's rich coming from you hyung. You and Joshua hyung work in the same office and live in the same house." Junhui commented good-naturedly.
"Hey! We're boyfriends! What's your excuse?" Joshua answers with a smirk.
Jihoon chuckles hearing the question, Wonwoo doing the same. It's cute seeing the loud ones silenced for once.
"Where's Minghao by the way?" Jeonghan asks craning his neck looking around for their maknae.
"He was here before the ceremony started." Jihoon answers with a frown. "Can someone call him? He has my phone with him."
"No need." Joshua said chuckling, pointing behind Jihoon and Wonwoo's head.
The graduates look behind them and sees Minghao walking towards them with a smile, carrying four bouquets, two in each arms.
"Congratulations hyungs!" he greeted them, handing the bouquets to the graduates, two at a time.
“These are so pretty! Thanks Hao!” Soonyoung exclaimed looking at the bouquet of lilies he’s holding before pulling the younger for a hug. Junhui, feeling left out joins in.
After all the congratulations and thank you’s were exchanged, Joshua reminded them of the reservation they have for lunch the next day. They figured the graduates’ parents would want to celebrate this milestone, thus deciding to have the celebration of their own tomorrow.
Jihoon wraps his arms around Minghao’s waist the moment they’re back in his room.
“Congrats hyung.. I’m so proud of you..” Minghao tells him as he cups his face, planting a quick kiss on his lips.
Jihoon feels his heart swells, as it always does whenever the younger would do that.
“Thank you.” he answers before returning the favor.
“You’re coming with me right? For dinner? I already told dad I’ll bring a plus one..”
The elder saw hesitation in Minghao’s eyes. He knows how Minghao feels about being around his parents. Jihoon can’t blame him though, his father is the director after all.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Minghao asks.
“I want you there. It’s not like they’re completely blind about us anyway. I’m sure they’ve heard rumors..”
“That doesn’t mean they’re okay with it..”
“Well, what is there to say? It’s not like we’re together together” Jihoon rebuts, pout on his lips.
Minghao wipes it away with another kiss.
“Still.. I don’t know.. I’m nervous about meeting them on their personal time.. that dinner’s supposed to be a family celebration-“
“I told them I’m bringing someone and they’re okay with it..” Jihoon insisted. “Please? It would mean so much to me if you’d be there too..”
When Minghao only responded with a heavy sigh, Jihoon quickly cupped his face and showers him with kisses. He knew that’s another way of Minghao saying okay.
“I’m glad you could join us!” Jihoon smiles as his mom pulls Minghao for a quick hug when they arrived. Jihoon’s dad nowhere to be found.
“Where’s dad?” he asked.
“He’s in his study on the phone. He should be coming out soon.” his mom explains as she led them both to the dining table where a spread of food is already waiting for them.
Jihoon did not miss the way his mom’s lips tugged a little upwards as he pulled the chair for Minghao.
That’s a good sign he thought to himself.
“There you are! Come on hon, the kids are here!” Jihoon’s mom calls over his shoulder. It wasn’t long til he feels a firm pat n his shoulder.
“I’m proud of you son.” His dad tells him before taking his seat at the head of the table. “I’m glad you’re here too Minghao.”
“Thank you for having me Director Lee, Mrs. Lee.” Minghao bows his head slightly at Jihoon’s parents.
“No need to be formal. I think uncle and auntie is just fine.” the head of the house offers, much to Jihoon’s delight.
“You’re always welcome here Minghao. I haven’t thanked you yet for making our son smile so often..” his mother said, much to Jihoon’s horror. He feels his face warming up so fast which is now tomato red considering the way his mother is grinning so wide at him now. He’s never been this way in front of his parents.
He looks to his side only to see Minghao just as red, making him relax a little.
“Stop teasing the kids, hon.” his dad interjected, smiling, much to Jihoon’s relief.
“But my wife is right. We haven’t seen Jihoon smile so often and blushing like that..”
“Oh my God send help” Jihoon mutters under his breath feeling his face heat up again. He only relaxes a little when he hears Minghao giggle next to him.
Dinner was really nice, Jihoon thinks. His mom was very attentive to Minghao, while his dad continues to embarrass him (it’s fine as long as Minghao’s relaxed and laughing) which only made him think how much they would be very accepting should their relationship progress.
They were having dessert when his dad excused himself and gestures for him to follow.
Jihoon excuses himself too but not before throwing him mom a knowing look.
“Mom, behave..” which only earns a hearty laugh from the woman.
“What’s up dad?” he asked as soon as he closed the door behind him.
“So, Minghao?” his dad asked. He feels his face burn for the hundredth time just that night.
“I approve. Don’t worry. He’s quite a catch!”
“Oh my God dad please stop tormenting me..” Jihoon whines making his dad laugh some more.
“What? I’m just saying.. so you know where I stand with your relationship. I’m sure you already know your mom thinks the same. She’s so close to spoon feeding him and she stares.. I’m the subtle one!”
Jihoon couldn’t help but laugh this time. It is true. He’s caught his mom watching them a few times, a knowing smile on her face whenever their eyes would meet.
“Dad, Minghao and I.. we’re not in a “relationship” yet.. I mean, we’re not official.. he.. he wanted us to focus on our studies first..”
Jihoon watches as his dad nod his head in understanding.
“Well, now that you have graduated, is it still a no?”
Jihoon could only sigh.
“Yeah, it’s still a no.. we talked about it..”
And you’re okay with it?” his father asked.
Jihoon thought about the conversation he had with Minghao when he opened up about it. When he’s feeling all too much and wants more.
“I’m not..” he started, fiddling with his sleeves. “But I respect it.. I just graduated and will be working soon, he’s on his final year now.. if he wants to focus on that first, I’ll give him that..”
When his dad didn’t say anything after a while, he looks up to check on his old man only to find him smiling fondly at him.
“Have I told you how proud I am of the man that you’ve become?”
It’s embarrassing but Jihoon feels his throat close up and his eyes sting.
“Good. Because that’s what I’ve always wanted dad. To make you proud.”
Jihoon laughs when his dad chokes up a little making him realize just how similar they are.
“Anyway..” his dad segues after subtly wiping his tears away, “this is really not the good time to bring this up son, but it’s something you need to know..”
Jihoon looks at him, his eyebrows meeting out of confusion for the first time that night, anticipating his dad’s next words
“I just want to mention this, I thought it’s something you may be interested in, but, seeing you with Minghao just now, I’m not sure anymore..”
“Just tell me dad.. I can’t take the suspense anymore..” Jihoon smiles at his father reassuringly.
“Well, I recently reconnected with an old friend who’s now an executive at Warner Music Japan. They have a limited offer for a one-year special program for anybody who wants to set up label of their own and he asked me if you’d like to take part on it.”
Jihoon feels the hair on his skin crawl at the offer. It’s always been a dream of his to set up his own label, reason why he worked so hard. For the longest time, he’s been in his dad’s shadow, which is really not a bad thing, but he really wants to make a name for himself, be his own person.
He was so immersed in the thought even after they both left his dad’s study and re-joins his mother and Minghao in the dining table for wine.
His parents insisted they stay the night instead of going back to the campus. His mom bringing extra pillows to Jihoon’s room instead of preparing the guest room like any normal parent would. “They used to room together!” she reasoned when his dad threw her a knowing look.
“What’s up?” Minghao asked him when he joins him when he settles himself at the other side of the bed. He spent the whole time Minghao was in the shower thinking about the offer that it had completely slipped his mind that he’s sharing his bed with the younger.
“What are you doing so far away from me?” he teased, pulling the other closer to him. “Mom obviously gave us the go signal to do anything when she brought the extra pillows here instead of the guest room.”
Minghao scowls at him which he only laughed at. He offers his chest to Minghao and melts into a puddle when he actually settles his head there, close to his heart. He hopes the pounding of his heart does not give him away.
“You’re thinking.. what’s bothering you? Is it something your dad said when you went to the study with him? Is it… is it about me? Us?” Jihoon didn’t miss how the last statement was said in almost a whisper.
Jihoon plays with the other’s hair with one hand while he intertwines the other with Minghao’s own.
“We did kinda talked about you.. about us..”
He feels the younger stiffen at the answer, he squeezes his hand for reassurance.
“They love you. Especially mom I’m sure she didn’t lack in expressing that.”
He breathes a sigh of relief when the other giggles.
“Hao?”
He gets a hum for an answer.
“I got an offer to attend a special program for aspiring producers..” he started.
Minghao pushes himself off Jihoon’s chest with a bright smile on his face.
“Really?! That’s great hyung!”
Jihoon smiles back at him, one that he knows didn’t reach his eyes.
“What’s wrong? You don’t seem too excited about it..”
Of course he noticed.
“It’s in Japan. The whole program will run for over a year..”
He watches as realization hit Minghao, his smile slowly disappeared. He shouldn’t be happy about it, seeing Minghao lose his smile, but he can’t help the joy he feels in his heart knowing the possibility of his absence did things to the younger. When after a while the younger didn’t say anything;
“Please say something? Anything?” he pushed a little.
The younger lays his head on his shoulder, facing him.
“You should go..”
Jihoon felt his heart crack a little.
“Yeah?”
Minghao presses his lips at the side of his own. Once, twice, thrice until Jihoon tilts his head to the side to meet his lips. They share a kiss they have never shared before. Lingering, instead of the flitting ones. Jihoon feels his heart swell. When the younger pulls away it took him everything not to chase after his plump lips.
“Yeah.. you should go.. it’s too big of an opportunity to miss..”
Jihoon feels his eyes water.
“I don’t know.. I don’t think I can just leave..that’s more than a year away from home.. away from you..”
He feels Minghao deflate at his words. When Minghao cups his face, he could see the younger holding back his own tears.
“I know.. but I will be here when you come back..”
“I’m scared.. I’m scared you’ll be here but your feelings won’t be the same..” Jihoon couldn’t do anything when the first of his tears started to fall.
He feels the younger thumbs over his tears, wiping them away.
“Ji, please don’t cry..” Minghao whispers, leaning his forehead against his.
“I love you Minghao..” Jihoon thinks it’s selfish, saying the words out loud. He wouldn’t want Minghao to be pressured into saying it back, anything back even. But he’s been holding back those words for so long and his chest felt like a water damn and it’s gonna explode if he keeps it in any longer.
“Ji..”
“No Hao.. you don’t have to say anything back.. I just had to tell you.. I needed you to know..”
Minghao lets himself cry and it made Jihoon feel sorry but he doesn’t regret doing it.
“Come back to me after you finish the program. If you still feel the same, then we’ll talk..”
Jihoon watch from the rear view mirror as Soonyoung and Junhui share a kiss.
“If you two don’t stop kissing I’m pulling over and kicking you out.” Wonwoo warns from the driver’s seat.
“You could have brought your boyfriend along but you wouldn’t so stop bitching at us!” Soonyoung complains.
“Babe he’s marching. Leave him alone.” Junhui scolds his boyfriend lightly earning him a huff in response.
Jihoon chuckles at the memory of when Wonwoo broke the news to him. It was only three months since he went to Japan when he got an EMERGENCY text from Wonwoo. He just came back to his his apartment from dinner when his phone started buzzing in his pocket.
“Kim Mingyu asked me out and I said yes and we’re going on our first date on Saturday.”
“And that’s an emergency because?”
“Because I think I’m catching feelings!”
“Leave him alone you guys.” Jihoon chastises from the passenger seat, smiling. His happy his friends are happy.
When Wonwoo parked the car just outside the convention center, Joshua and Jeonghan are already waiting for them, bouquet of yellow roses accented with bupleurum and fresh greens on Joshua’s hands.
“Oh my God Jihoon! I missed you so much!” Jeonghan cries a little as he wraps his arms around the younger.
Jihoon rolls his eyes at the dramatics, hugging him back.
“We always talk..”
“Not the same.” Jeonghan interjects.
“We video call.”
“Not the same.”
“Humor him?” Joshua smiles apologetically at his boyfriend’s antics.
“Don’t I always?” Jihoon chuckles, tightening his hug around the elder.
“Guys I hate to cut this reunion short but the program’s about to start.” Wonwoo voices out looking at the time on his wrist watch. That’s all it took for them to move along.
Jihoon waits patiently in his seat as the master of ceremonies call out names one by one. Junhui and Soonyoung does an embarrassing shout when Mingyu’s name was called, Wonwoo hides his face behind his hands at the embarrassment. When all names were called except for one, the Director walks over to the podium, taps the mic twice.
“Good afternoon everyone. It is my great honor to present a special diploma today. While it is not the first time that we have personally invited an individual to attend our humble school, it is the first time that a student is graduating today with a double major. This individual was scouted all the way from China because of his ability to dance but it didn’t take long for this graduate to take interest in music composition and lyric writing. Despite struggling to balance both majors, this graduate managed to take the highest of honors. It is with great pride that I call on Mr. Xu Minghao to accept his Diplomas and a special commendation certificate by the Arts Association of South Korea.”
Jihoon’s chest swells with pride at the man now walking up the stage. It’s almost bursting at its seams knowing in just a few more minutes, he’ll get to hold him again.
For thirteen months Jihoon endured being away from Minghao. The talks they had every night coming up to this day was really never enough but they had to make do. Every day Jihoon reminds him of how much he misses him, how much he means to him, how much he loves him. The younger would tell him he misses him too but never said he loved him back. He thought about the saying “out of sight, out of mind” and Jihoon caught himself thinking a few times if Minghao had a change of heart, if something would change once he returns home and pushed all the ugly thoughts away, but not too far so it keeps him grounded, open to possibilities not to his advantage.
Right now, those negative thoughts are coming up to the surface again and he lets them. This way it would hurt less if things doesn’t work out.
Jihoon was so scared he didn’t notice his friends are done congratulating the graduates. It wasn’t until Minghao is already standing in front of him that he came back to his senses.
“Hi.” Minghao spoke first, a beautiful smile on his face.
“H-Hi” Jihoon stutters. “These..these are for you.. congratulations Hao.” he managed to say, handing him the bouquet he’s been holding for more than an hour..”
“They’re beautiful.. thank you.. I can't believe you're back in time for my graduation.” He melts as he's wrapped in Minghao's arms.
“We’ll be outside..” Jihoon hears before he sees Wonwoo with their other friends walking away.
“I missed you hyung.. I’m glad you made it.”
Jihoon relaxes even more after Minghao said that.
“I missed you, Hao.. I missed you so much.. I would never this for the world..” his voice muffled as he tightens his hug around the younger's waits.
Then he remembers. He remembers the conversation they had that one night. When Jihoon was happy but wanted more. And that night when he told Minghao about the offer he got.
“I know what I feel for you isn’t gonna go away for a long time. So how about this, after I graduate and you still feel the same, then we’ll talk about it.”
“Come back to me after you finish the program. If you still feel the same, then we’ll talk..”
He slowly peeled his body away from Minghao, reaching for his hands.
“Nothing changed Hao.. I feel the same.”
He watches as Minghao’s cheeks colour. He feels the bricks in his stomach turn light and transform into butterflies. The same butterflies he felt when he first saw him, in a soft looking yellow sweater waiting outside his room for him to arrive. The same butterflies that went wild in his stomach when Minghao kissed him fo r the first time.
“I love you.. can we please be official now?” Jihoon feels like his face is gonna split in half, unable to contain his smile.
“I love you too.” Minghao pulls him in for a kiss and he thinks this is the sweetest kiss they’ve shared so far. When the younger pulls away he has tears in his eyes but the most beautiful smile on his lips. “I thought you’d never ask.”
Distance makes the heart grow fonder. He totally forgot this exits.