Chapter Text
Anxiety built as Jiro was faced with the entrance of his home, the air felt still yet heavy, like it was about to rain. It made his throat feel tight. After letting himself take a deep breath, he reached for the doorknob, the cold metal almost grounding him.
We wasn't sure what to expect when he walked in, he probably should've anticipated that his older brother would be waiting for him, sitting on the couch scrolling through his phone, it was almost too casual for the talk they were about to have.
"Yo," Jiro greeted, trying to match his brother's tone, "trying" being the key word.
"You're home later than usual, you weren't trying to skip out on our talk right?" Ichiro joked, trying to calm the heavy air that entered the room with Jiro.
"Nah, just talking to a friend," Jiro tried to play it off, it's not like Jyushi was his only friend, he was a pretty popular guy all things considered. Unfortunately Ichiro can naturally tell when his little brother is hiding something and gave him a quizzical look.
"What kind of friend?" the tone in his voice indicated that he knew exactly who he was talking about. Well, almost exactly. He doesn't know Jyushi's name or anything like that, he only knew that he was the kind of person to fluster Jiro, which was already too much information for his taste.
He didn't answer his brother's question, why bother, he already knows the answer. The lack of a response seemed to confirm Ichiro's suspicions.
"You don't have to be embarrassed you know, I'm not mad at you, I promise," Jiro knew that, if his brother was mad he would know, "I just want to know what's up with you, tell me about this guy."
Jiro sat down with his brother, he wasn't really sure what to say, what was he so nervous about anyways? Ichiro could tell he didn't know what to say, "Alright.. let's ease in a bit, I know you helped him a bit ago deal with some bullying, can you go into more detail?"
Jiro took a deep breath, "I heard him crying when I was going to pick something up, it doesn't matter what, but.." he paused, trying to find the exact words to describe his captivation with the other boy "I had to do something, something about him just made me want to help, it's like when you see a stray kitten."
Ichiro chuckled lightly at the comment, not enough to be cruel but enough to catch him off guard, "when I walked in, I got a better look at him and.." he trailed off, feeling his face heat up, realizing he's about to say something embarrassing to his brother "I thought he was.. pretty, I wish that was the only word I could use. He was.. cute, gentle, nervous, like a.."
"Like a stray kitten?"
"Exactly!" Jiro wished he could be consumed by his hoodie, just disappear never to be seen again, away from this talk, away from these embarrassing feelings that made his chest feel like his heart had to constantly resist melting. Ichiro gestured for him to continue, "it made me feel weird, my heart felt soft.. We ended up exchanging numbers and texted for a bit, he's a cute guy, a bit weird but cute."
This caught Ichiro's attention, "what do you mean weird?"
"Like, he has some weird mannerisms, posing and speaking in theatrics and shit, talking about like, angels and stuff" the memory made his face burn lightly "it was adorable."
"Aww," Ichiro had a weird smile on his face that both eased his anxiety and added a whole new layer of new things to be worried about, bringing up the question he dreaded, "do you like him?"
Honestly, Jiro wasn't sure. He considered Jyushi a friend, but friends shouldn't make his heart flutter like he did. Maybe this was a crush that would fizzle out and die, he's no stranger to crushes, but this one feels a little different.
"I don't know, I haven't really known him for that long.. it's probably just a crush, or I just think he's cute, I don't know."
The statement felt incomplete, like there was something missing. It wasn't like he was trying to hide anything, he laid everything on the table, but it still wasn't right.
Feelings are hard.
"You don't need to put a label on it right now, maybe give it a bit, this is new to you so it's probably hard to pinpoint exactly how you're feeling. I get that."
Ichiro's words felt heavy, like there was something under the surface that Jiro didn't know about, it was best not to dig for now.
"I'm bad at this," Jiro stated bluntly, making his brother chuckle.
"You're doing your best, like I said, you're new to all this, you don't need to put an exact label on how you feel, it'll drive you crazy."
Again, that heavy feeling hidden in his words lingered beneath the surface.
"Do you think that's enough brotherly bonding for tonight?"
"One more thing," Jiro paused as his brother kept his attention on him, "what does this say about me?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean," he took a second to think, "like, what does this crush mean about me."
Ichiro let out a sigh, "it means you're just learning more about yourself. I promise there's nothing wrong with that."
Jiro found himself gently smiling at the statement, "thank you Ichi-nii.."