Chapter Text
Chloe stares at the unsent text on her phone. It’s stupid. It’s a simple text, the address of Eddy’s garage and that the repairs will be done tomorrow.
So why can’t she send it?
Why can’t she tear her eyes away from it when she’s supposed to be TAing this stupid lab with a bunch of kids who are mostly just here because they have to be?
She finally turns off the screen of her phone and buries her face in her hands. Freckles. Why the fuck did she have to have freckles? Freckles and a goofy smile are my fucking kryptonite and she’s got both in fucking spades. Rachel’s never gonna let me live this shit down, but god damn.
“Uh, miss Price?”
Her head snaps up to see the pimply youth nervously fidgeting with a notebook. Even with the glasses and a button up shirt that hides her tats, the fresh meat are still nervous as fuck around her. That or staring at her to try and ask her out on a date, the fucking morons. “Chloe dude, it’s just Chloe.”
“Uh, right okay.” The poor kid fidgets some more. “I-I was wondering if I could, um…”
“If you need to go to the bathroom, just go, this isn’t high school, you don’t need a hall pass or something.”
“N-no! I, uh, I was just having some trouble… with, um, understanding the principles behind the experiment.”
Oh shit, fresh meat asking for help! Finally, I get to do my goddamn job! “Sure thing, what part don’t you get?”
The kid visibly relaxes and holds up the notebook for her. “I’m not quite sure, I’ve been over the equations a few times…”
It takes Chloe a few heartbeats to find the problem, it’s a common mistake. “You dropped a negative right there. Don’t worry, I made that mistake as a first year.”
“Oh, shit! You’re right, I’m such an idiot!”
“Listen, kid, what’s your name?”
The kid fidgets some more. “Aaron…”
Chloe waits a beat before asking, “Pronouns?”
The student looks at her stunned, mouth agape before stammering out, “S-she/her, please.”
Chloe can’t help but smile. Oh look at the baby trans. “Is that your dead name or…?”
Her eyes dart around nervously and she grips the notebook like an overboard sailor to a buoy. “I… um, c-call me Tricia.”
Chloe grabs her pen and makes a note on her attendance sheet. “Cool, nice to meet you Tricia. You know you can give the Registrar’s office your preferred name and we have to use it, right?”
Tricia’s eyes go wide. “I, uh, had no idea.”
“I’ll make a note of it for this class, but you should. The LGBT club on campus is also great, go pay them a visit.”
“Thanks, I’ll do that right after lab!”
Chloe grins as she watches her go back to her bench. Good luck kid.
Her eyes flick back to the phone laying there in front of her. Maybe I need some luck too. Fuck. Ugggggh, I don’t fucking have time for this! Since when am I stuck trying to text a girl?
She winces as a flash of unwelcome memories flood in.
“Who the fuck are you texting now?” Sage screams in her mind, her voice shrill and sounding on the verge of fake ass tears.
She’s not here, she’s not real, she can’t hurt me. Chloe grits her teeth as she tries to push the memory down but Sage’s voice isn’t so easy to be rid of. “You promised me you’d stop cheating on me!”
Fuck you bitch, you’re the one who cheated.
“Oh so what you do with Reem and Rachel isn’t cheating? I see how it is.”
Chloe shakes her head as if she can knock the old bullshit argument out of her mind. Come on, she’s gone, she’s not here, you’re just telling Max where her truck is and when it’ll be ready.
“You okay Chloe?” Asks Drew, looking up from the tests he’s grading. “You’re all pale.”
With a soft groan she waves a hand at him. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll be fine. Just old shit.”
“That crazy bitch who thought you were cheating on her because you had office hours?”
Fuuuuuck. “Yeah, something like that.”
He turns on his stool, his face full of concern that makes Chloe’s gut churn. “Do you need to step out or something?”
“Nah, someone’s gotta keep an eye on these kidlets while you grade, I’ll be fine.”
“Alright, but seriously, if you need to step out I can hold things down here.” He says, still not turning back to his stack of tests.
Chloe glances at her phone and sighs. This shit definitely isn’t going to get any easier. “Tell you what, you cover for my lab at 4 and I’ll buy you a pizza or something next time we hang.”
“Fucking deal.” Drew holds out a fist and Chloe bumps it to seal things. “Steph getting any sleep yet?”
“Yeah, actually. When I left this morning she’d been out for like fourteen hours and she’s probably still sleeping.”
There’s a soft laugh as Drew shakes his head. “Mikey warned her that she was biting off more than she could chew, but I guess she had to learn the hard way.”
“I mean she kinda made it work, for a couple months.” Chloe rubs her temples a bit as she tries to push her linger anxieties down with a few deep breaths. “How is Mikey doing anyways?”
“As well as any engineering student can. They really should just make it a five year program and cut them some fucking slack.”
“But then they can’t be insufferable about how much work they have to do!” Chloe shoots Drew a wink and they both laugh. “I bet he’s mostly just grumpy about having to hang up his robe and wizard hat.”
“Yeah, well, when Steph cratered that happened anyways. He still feels really guilty about that.”
Chloe just has to shake her head. “How many times do we have to tell him that it wasn’t his fault she pushed herself that ha-”
There’s an alarm sound as Chloe’s phone rattles on the desk, her end of class alarm flashing up on the display. Chloe silences it as Drew gets up to his feet and bellows out. “Alright, you’re out of time! Follow the cleanup procedures in your lab instructions and then get out of here, your reports are due Wednesday like it says in the syllabus.”
Once Drew has sat back down, Chloe just has to snicker as she sees a few students freaking out trying to finish things up at the last second. “I wonder how many of them actually read the syllabus and know that they can get extra lab time if they need it?”
“Same amount that we usually do, maybe half if we’re lucky. You can get going now if you want, I can get these kids out of here.”
Chloe doesn’t need a second invitation as she grabs her bag and starts heading for the door. “Thanks man, I’ll throw in a couple beers for you.”
Before he can reply she’s out in the hallway and heading for the nearest stairwell. Her anxiety wants her to take any other route across campus to where her truck is parked. With gritted teeth, balled fists and a quick pace she follows her usual route across campus. Her eyes dart to every nook and cranny as she walks, just in case Sage is hiding there even though she got banned from campus a long ass time ago.
She isn’t. The whole walk there’s no sign of her and Chloe’s nerves get more and more frayed each time she isn’t there.
I’m going fucking insane. I haven’t seen her in months. Fuuuuuck.
At last her truck comes into view and she slides inside, but there’s no relief as she shuts the door. I’m safe in my truck. I’m safe in my truck. I’m safe in my truck.
Fuck.
She grabs her phone out and looks over her contacts. Shit, who’s working right now? Sam’s probably got a meeting, Reem is still in class for another two hours, Lanelle and Tamira are busy with the bakery. Shit, when was Rachel’s rehearsal? Right, it’s in the shared calendar.
Great, she’s free.
Rachel picks up halfway through the second ring. “Hey Chloe, what’s up? Everything okay?”
“No.” Chloe winces as her voice suddenly cracks with emotion. “Not okay.”
“Oh no, shhhh, shhhh, Chloe, it’s okay babe. Just tell me what happened.”
Chloe reaches up and runs a hand through her hair, rocking back and forth a bit as she struggles to keep it together. She manages to keep tears at bay at least. “I was, uh, trying to t-text Max and…”
“Flashback?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh Chloe, I’m so sorry.” Rachel’s voice is full of that gentle tenderness she shows so few people and it breaks Chloe’s resolve to keep from crying. Tears spill from her eyes as she manages to grab out an old napkin to wipe up the resulting mess. “It’s okay, she can’t hurt you anymore. We’re not going to let her.”
“I-I know, I just… Fuck.” She bites the inside of her cheek to try and get the tears to stop.
“Shhhhh, Chloe, it’s okay, you can’t help it. You’re not weak or broken.”
All she can muster is a grunt of acknowledgement as the napkin gets saturated and she digs around in her bag for another one.
“Are you going to come home? Are you safe to drive?”
“Y-yeah, I should be.” She says with a sniffle, one hand still trying to dig around in her bag. “Gave Drew my last class.”
“That’s great, come home and I’ll make you a brownie in a mug?”
Chloe shivers with delight at the idea as she fishes her keys out of her jacket pocket. “Oh fuck yes.”
“Drive safe and I’ll see you soon.”
“Be there as soon as I can.”
The line goes dead and Chloe manages to find another old napkin to clean her face up some more. Fuuuucking makeup. Thanks for getting me into this stuff Rach, real helpful when I’m falling apart emotionally.
Just gotta hope no stupidly cute women run into me today, heh.
Fuck. I still haven’t texted Max.
With a groan she turns her key in the ignition and starts pulling out of the parking garage. She still feels on an emotional knife edge, but Rachel’s voice and the promise of a brownie in a mug are great incentives to stay focused on the road and as grounded as she can be as she goes through the grind of LA traffic.
Over an hour later, the sight of the commune makes her breathe a little easier. It’s okay, I’m home, she’s not dumb enough to try and get anywhere near here.
As she pulls into the driveway, Rachel’s already waiting there with a reassuring smile on her face and a wave. It’s all Chloe can do to actually park her truck, grab her things and get out like a normal person and not just tuck and roll right into her arms. To her credit, Rachel is standing outside of the driver’s side door when she does manage to get out of her truck and immediately envelops her in a warm hug before gently whispering to her, “Hey Chlo.”
“Hey Rach.”
They stay like that for a few moments, Chloe leaning into the hug and against Rachel’s smaller form, letting her familiar touch bring her back down to earth.
When they do pull back apart, Rachel offers her hand, which Chloe accepts. “I believe I owe you one brownie.”
“Fuck yeah you do.”
Rachel gently leads her in through the side door and to the kitchen table by the hand. “Have a seat then, I already have it ready to go in the microwave.”
Not needing to be asked twice, Chloe takes her seat and pulls out the stack of quizzes she’ll have to come back and grade later anyways and shoves it away from her. Then she drops her phone on the table and stares at it. “Thanks Rach.”
“No problem Chlo,” Rachel replies as she starts up the microwave, “how are you holding together?”
“Better, now that I’m home.”
“Good.” Rachel pulls up a chair and sits down in front of Chloe as the microwave runs. “Think you're going to be alright?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll be fine, I just… need to text that girl.” Chloe rubs her temples and leans back in her chair. “It shouldn’t be this fucking hard.”
Rachel’s face falls for a moment, but the microwave announces that it’s finished with all the grand flourish of a loud beep. Chloe moves to get up, but Rachel is already out of her chair and opening the microwave. “Do you want some coffee or something to go with it?”
“Nah, thanks, I caffeinated during my office hours before the lab. I don’t want to get hornet brain.”
There’s a soft snort from Rachel as she comes back with the mug and a fork in hand. “Careful, still hot.”
“I know, I know.” Chloe groans, leaning back in her chair. “I did that once .”
“Chloe, I’ve known you for like ten years now. You’ll do it again.” Rachel retorts with a soft laugh, setting the mug down on a placemat to cool.
“It seriously has been that fucking long, hasn’t it.” Chloe groans softly.
“It doesn’t feel like it.” Rachel says with an almost wistful sigh, her hand gently reaching out. Chloe doesn’t pull away and those slender manicured fingers gently stroke over her cheek, down her jawline and over her chin. The tender contact blissful and reassuring. “You’re still that girl I ran away with to go stargazing in a junkyard, and yet so much more now.”
“I feel like a lot less sometimes.” Chloe sighs as she leans into Rachel’s hand, which moves to fully cup her cheek.
“It’s not your fault, and I’ll tell you that as many times as it takes.” Rachel softly coos as she moves her chair closer, her thumb stroking over Chloe’s cheek. “We should have done something when we noticed her hard pivot when she learned what the piece of shit your mom married did.”
“I probably would have been pissed at you if you had.” Another sigh escapes her lips as Chloe’s gaze drifts back to her phone. “Would the Chloe you knew struggle all day to text a girl?”
Rachel’s laugh is light and airy. “Absolutely, Jesus Chloe. Do you remember how nervous you were around me? And then when we got Steph involved?”
“Don’t gotta rub it in.” Chloe groans as her cheeks go red.
“Hey, you might be a disaster around cute girls, but you’re still fierce as hell.” Rachel giggles gently, her hand moving to take Chloe’s beanie off and brush out her frizzy hair a bit.
“Nice to know I’ve still got some of my mojo.” Chloe laughs a little as she taps her finger idly against the locked screen of her phone. “Too bad I haven’t fixed the disaster part.”
“Hey now, you’re a charming disaster. Is there anything else I can do for you?”
Chloe spins her phone around with her finger, mulling the question over. “Can I… not be alone tonight?”
“Hella yes! What’re the boundaries?”
“Just cuddles and stuff, definitely nothing approaching sex.” Chloe says, her cheeks somehow not turning redder at asking for this.
“Any time Chlo,” Rachel slides the brownie in a mug over, “now eat up.”
She breathes in deeply, stretching out her thankfully now loose limbs. I really needed that shower. Eh, fuck it, a tank and some shorts will do for pajamas while I grade.
Now dressed, she picks up her phone, staring at the still unsent text. I really am overthinking this. It’s just giving her an address. It’ll be fine.
A knock on the door startles her out of her thoughts and she turns to see who it is. “Come on in.”
A very sleepy looking Steph comes in through the door, and she stumbles a bit crossing Chloe’s messy floor to wrap her up in a not unwelcome hug with enough force that Chloe rocks back on her heels.
“Hey Steph,” Chloe says with a small laugh as she returns the hug. “Didn’t know you had woken up.”
“I never cease to astound,” Steph says with a soft grumble as she gives Chloe a little squeeze, “Rach told me what happened.”
“I was going to hang out with you two tonight.” Chloe gently laughs as she runs a hand through Steph’s thick hair. “Couldn’t wait?”
“No.” Steph says flatly as she presses into Chloe a bit more. “I missed my Chloe cuddles.”
“I missed my Steph cuddles, but later, I gotta grade you goof.”
“Fiiiiine,” Steph says with a mock groan, “did you manage to text that girl yet?”
“No I…” Chloe stares at her phone for a moment, the text now showing as sent. “Oh shit, I guess I accidentally sent the text when you hugged me.”
“Truly a fate worse than death,” Steph snickers as she lets Chloe go and starts shuffling back to the door. “Grade downstairs? Tamira brought you home some molasses cookies because you had a shitty day.”
Her stomach rumbles at the mention of the cookies. “Hella yes I am going to eat the fuck out of those cookies.”
“Cool, I’ll see you down there. We’re totally going to cuddle puddle and watch some bad movies later if you have the time to join us.”
“Count me the fuck in, I’ll balance the papers on your back or something.” Chloe says with a laugh as her phone buzzes.
“I’ll leave you to her then, just don’t take too long Chloe Nova.” Steph laughs before ducking around the corner and evading any potential pillows Chloe might throw at her.
Guess I should check this text…
[Max|5:48pm]
That’s pretty far for me… Think you could give me a lift?
She blinks a few times, staring at the message. Shit, I guess this is LA, getting anywhere without a car is a giant fucking pain.
Ah what the hell, fuck Sage.
[Chloe|5:50pm]
sure, where do you wanna be picked up?
[Max|5:51pm]
There’s a park near my place, meet me there?