Chapter Text
“I got the job!” Eren exclaimed as he put down his phone, a beaming smile on his face, Mikasa whooped and hugged him. It was a part time job, only Mondays and Wednesdays at a clinic, but it’d be enough to cover what Eren was missing for rent, bills and food.
“That’s great Eren! Congratulations! This calls for celebration, what do you say I treat you to dinner at the Three Walls, like right now?” Mikasa asked with a smile, referring to their all-time favorite restaurant in the city. It didn’t take any consideration, the offer was not even a surprise, it was what they usually did, and it didn’t take them long to get their things together and leave for their destination.
The restaurant had been there forever, even before this was the city center, passed down for two generations, it wasn’t big and flashy, but a cozy little place. It had a small indoor area, that couldn’t fit more than a few tables apart from the kitchen and toilets, but what made it a truly wonderful and popular place wasn’t the indoor seating, it was the two outdoor areas that held the majority of their guests on most days. One was a closed off courtyard, a half roof covering all the seating’s from rain or burning sun, and the half walls surrounding the courtyard made the area seem removed from the city like a little sanctuary from the busyness around them. The second partition of their outdoor seating was along the street, open air, with a view of the bustling town all around them. The street next to the seating was a mostly quiet one, used primarily for foot traffic, the occasional delivery truck, or some poor driver who was lost or too self-centered to understand that the city center wasn’t a place where people were supposed to drive around, it was for leisurely outings and shopping, and though there were clearly separated sidewalks on either side of the brick road, everyone walked in the middle of the street anyway. It was the perfect place for people watching, really.
They’d used to eat there as a family when Eren and Mikasa were kids, it was a place that had held many a celebration, both big and small, and the memories from the place were more than Eren could even comprehend at once.
There had been a few years where Eren couldn’t go there. A few years where all the happy memories made in that place had been painful to relive. When the reminder of how the four of them would sit huddled around one of those outdoor tables, with blankets across their shoulders and the outdoor heaters on above them, eating warm food and laughing, were all reminders of what he’d lost. Reminders that days like those would never come again. That they would never be a family of four sitting around the tables again.
It wasn’t until he was living alone with Mikasa that she’d been able to make him go there. It had been hard, the first time back there, Mikasa had sat them in a corner, and maybe Eren had cried a little onto his pasta, but no one had commented on it, and when they’d gotten home he’d felt lighter, if even just a little.
The next time they’d been able to reminisce about all the good times they’d had there; the time Eren had spewed soda out his nose from laughing while drinking, and proceeded to cry for 10 minutes because it hurt, while everyone laughed at him, and the time Mikasa had been up the whole night before, reading some romance novel she just had to finish that night, and had fallen asleep during dessert, nodding off right into her ice cream. And somehow going over all of those memories made there, had made them less painful to remember, and they’d started going there for every little celebration once more. Making new happy memories.
They sat down by an open air table when they got there, Eren adamant about wanting to enjoy the open nights a little more before it’d be too cold and rainy to do so. The heaters were on and glowed a bright orange against the darkening evening skies. Eren wrapped himself in the blanket on his chair and looked around the table that had seats for four, even as it was only he and Mikasa there.
Sometimes Eren could still picture his mother in one of those chairs with them, but she’d become a comforting presence instead of a painful reminder. In a way, it made it feel like she was still there to celebrate with them, to share the experiences they had, that they would have wanted her to be a part of.
His father rarely came along, they’d invite him, from time to time, but he only ever showed up on birthdays. Sometimes Eren thought the memory he had of him here, in the restaurant, was even preferable to the real thing. In the memory he was happy, smiling and laughing with them. Cracking jokes and telling them stories about life. Now he was… different. Distant. The smile a rare occurrence, and when it was there it seemed hollow. The only jokes Eren could remember him telling since his mother’s passing were morbid ones. The sarcastic kind that didn’t make you laugh, but often just left you feeling worse.
They ordered pasta, like they often did, not because it was the only good thing to get, but because it was what they’d usually gotten as kids, and though they could get steak or salmon now there was something right about sticking to the food that held all the happy memories.
“I’m proud of you.” Mikasa said with a smile, and Eren smiled back at her.
“What for?”
“For getting another job down, and for sticking around on the other one even though you hate it. You’ve grown up a lot.” Mikasa said and Eren blushed a little. He knew what she meant. He hadn’t always been the most mature of them. There had been a few years after his mother died where he’d lashed out at everyone and everything. He’d felt lost, and not cared that he was messing things up. Mikasa had always been his rock, they’d fought often and sometimes harshly when she’d called him out on his bullshit, but they’d always made up, mostly because he’d realized he’d fucked up, and she’d always been ready to forgive him.
“Thanks for never giving up on my sorry ass.” Eren said with a chuckle.
“You really have been a struggle, but I’m a saint, so...” Mikasa said with a smile and a shrug, and Eren rolled his eyes at her.
“Of course you are." he deadpanned, "I don’t hate working with Levi anymore, by the way, I think it’s getting better.” Eren added, Mikasa lifted a brow at him.
“Why? Because you made the guy some food?”
“Well yeah, it was so much less tense.”
“So you think it’s just all going to be nice now?”
“I mean, I hope so.” Eren said with a shrug.
“Careful with that hope, you’ll just get disappointed.” Mikasa said.
“Maybe I won’t.” Eren said, feeling optimistic for once.
“Well I just hope you don’t think you can skip out on making dinner at home, just because you’ve gotten into this new soup-kitchen business.” Mikasa said, and Eren laughed.
“Careful with that hope, you’ll just get disappointed.” Eren repeated her words back at her, getting a stony glare in return.
Eren got the sudden feeling of someone watching him and raised his head, looking around the dark streets for whatever was causing this feeling. There were still quite a few people walking around, the shops on the street just about closing up now, but most had a clear direction, looking forward towards their goal, and it took a few seconds before he finally locked eyes with the one watching him from afar.
Even from across the bustling street, Levi was unmistakable. It seemed to take a second for Levi to realize that Eren was staring back at him, but when he did, he shifted his gaze quickly, continuing to walk along the pavement, where he seemingly had stopped once he had noticed Eren.
“Everything okay?” Mikasa asked, Eren nodded without looking over at her.
“Everything’s good.” Eren said as his eyes followed Levi’s shape walk by, Levi’s eyes scanning over everything as he did, glancing over Eren several times, but never lingering as he had done at first.
Eren couldn’t help but wonder what Levi was doing out at this hour by himself, was he going out for dinner too? Or to a bar maybe? It wasn’t exactly the time of day to go shopping or have appointments after all. Eren sometimes wondered if Levi had any friends other than Erwin, if he had someone he hung out with during evenings like this. He didn’t seem like he cared for friendships or socialization, but then he never revealed much about himself either, so there might be much that Eren didn’t know about him.
Maybe he’d ask him tomorrow, maybe he’d even get a reply.
***
Levi didn’t know why but seeing Eren outside of his visits had been strange. Seeing him out here in the real world, interacting with other people, had made Levi curious, so he’d stopped, just to watch him for a second, he’d told himself. Eren had of course noticed him staring. The kid had good instincts. Not everyone felt it when someone was watching. Eren had. That had been clear.
Levi had walked on once their eyes had met, because he didn’t want to talk with the kid, he just wanted to watch, to study him in his natural environment, how he was when he wasn’t around Levi.
Levi knew that people acted differently around him than they did otherwise, his recruits in the army had all been like that. They’d be on their best behavior, acting all professional and tightlipped around him, but when he watched them from afar or from the shadows, they would be entirely different people, they’d show who they truly were. Those where the times he could make out if they were too cocky or sloppy or careful and timid, things he needed to know to calculate risks in a mission, to know who to assign which tasks.
Levi walked on until he knew Eren couldn’t see him anymore, and then proceeded to climb the fire-escape of a building, backtracking on the roofs, until he could see the kid once again. He sat down in the shadow of a chimney, certain that no one would notice him in the dark evening hours, because no one here knew how to distinguish shapes in the shadows. They had never needed to. And from there he could watch, he could look at Eren in his natural state. Not because he needed to assign Eren any mission or know where he’d be a liability, but just because he wanted to know, for no good reason at all.
Eren looked calm and cheery down there with the girl he was having dinner with. Levi wondered if it was his girlfriend. Eren seemed like he would have one. He seemed outgoing enough at least. Not that Levi really knew anything about relationships. They all required intimacy and touch, which were things he would likely never be comfortable with.
Eren laughed at something and the girl hit him on the arm, it didn’t seem to be in anger though, the contrast between the action and their smiles and happiness was stark. Friendly bantering, Levi had never understood. Hitting someone only ever had one meaning to Levi. Out here, it seemed to have many meanings. Everything had many meanings out here for people. Interactions were complicated, far too complicated for Levi’s liking.
It wasn’t that he couldn’t see the subtle differences people would portray when doing something out of different emotional reasons, Levi was a great observer, he just didn’t always understand them. He couldn’t always tell which emotions were safe, and which to be wary of.
He often found himself blaming Kenny for his difficulties with reading emotions. Levi had feared Kenny most when he was smiling, when he was gentle and kind. Other people he had learned to fear when they were angry or too calm and sure of themselves, even people in pain were dangerous, as they would do anything to feel better or protect themselves.
Levi wasn’t really sure he had observed any singular emotion that hadn’t contained the possibility of danger during his childhood. Yet out here, people reacted so differently. This was part of why he preferred being in the military, out on the front lines, where things were simple. Where the enemy was always a threat and his fellow soldiers… less of a threat.
Levi watched Eren and the girl eat, learning nothing really, other than the fact that Eren and the girl were close, that they were both happy, and still he kept on watching, unable to get himself to leave. It wasn’t like he had anything better to do anyway, and there was something calming about watching Eren from the safety of the shadows, from somewhere where Eren couldn’t touch him or ask him questions he didn’t want to answer.
He looked up towards the dark sky as he felt a raindrop burst on his forehead. More drops of water landed with soft chills on his face, picking up pace quickly.
He heard commotion from the people on the streets below, as they started running for cover from the beginning downpour. Levi looked down at them as they scattered like leaves in the wind to escape something as harmless as the rain. Even Eren and the girl he was with quickly gathered their things to take refuge inside.
Levi stayed seated.
He didn’t mind the rain in the slightest. In fact, he enjoyed the rain more than most other things.
It hadn’t rained in the underground. Only in the few spots where the ceiling had caved in, would the rain be allowed to enter. The biggest of which had been by what they had referred to as the lake, though compared to what a lake encompassed up here, it was probably better described as a huge puddle.
The lake had been dirty and filled with debris from the city above. Its water had been too dark to see through to the bottom, even if it never went deeper than a couple of meters. Yet people would bathe in it and then collect water to drink, simply because that was what they had.
Still, Levi had found great beauty in watching the lake when water was raining down from above. He would often perch himself upon a block of rubble and sit there, for hours at times, watching the droplets create ripples in the water’s surface. Listening to the gentle sounds of the downpour as it thudded against the water and the remains of what had once been a grand city above them.
It was always peaceful – the rain. Even when it would come down in heavy streams, it never felt violent, it never felt harsh. It was so unlike anything down there, and in the moments he would watch the rain, he would feel cleaner, as if it washed away the filth and despair. It only ever lasted for a moment, but the moments had been precious.