Chapter Text
Mika froze as his back hit the wall, wild eyes on the petite woman in front of him.
Krul’s calm expression frightened him more than if she had been spitting mad. Her eyes held a warning and Mika knew he would never be strong enough to defeat her. She was his maker.
“I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist, child. Your humanity is still too fresh in your mind, your emotions are still too reckless. And, your obsession with that boy is too distracting.”
“Why are you doing this?” Mika couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out.
“You are far too dangerous to be left to your own devices. Had you listened to me, you would understand why this is necessary. Not just for your sake, but for everyone.” Krul’s frown deepened. She took a step closer.
“I have to help him. Those people, those humans, are just using him. They are — ”
“They are not your concern. Believe me when I say that your little friend is more than capable of fending for himself.” Mika shook his head, frustration growing within him. Krul didn’t understand. She couldn’t possibly understand that Yuu was all he had left, all that he could care about.
Krul drew closer, her small frame intimidating by the sheer power she exuded, her eyes a dark glowing red.
“I didn’t want to do this, Mikaela. I had hoped you would see reason, that you would do what was needed of you. I underestimated many things about you.” Krul’s voice was fading in and out, and Mika blinked his eyes a few times when a haze fell over his vision. He staggered, leaning against the wall for support.
“W-what are y-you…” Mika’s tongue felt heavy and clumsy.
“Hush, child. It’s time for you to sleep.”
Krul’s stoic expression was the last thing he saw before his entire world faded to black.
…
There was a calm moment of silence as Kureto fell into his seat where he was sure he’d be able to keep his temper in check. His hands twitched before they clenched into fists, nails biting into his skin. Rage built up in his stomach until it overflowed, causing his fists to pound heavily on the desk underneath him. He repeated the action, pounding his fists again and again.
The sharp pain grounded him, cleared his mind. He slowly breathed in through his nose, the pain in his hands pulsating with the rhythm of his heart.
He had allowed this game to go on for far too long, and had underestimated the bond between Mikaela and Yuichirou.
He’d been an idiot.
But…there was little he could do about that now. As much as he would have liked to spare Yuichirou’s existence given how much the young man had accomplished for the cause, he would not hesitate to kill him in order to reclaim what was rightfully his.
With a sigh, Kureto flexed one of his hands, eyes drifting close. In the darkness of his mind he found wide, fear-filled eyes directed at him. They were enchanting in a way that few things were. The panic in them sent a thrill down his back.
He wondered how far he could push Mikaela before he would break.
Swallowing down the sudden rush of desire, Kureto began to plot his next step.
…
Yuu yawned, dragging a hand over his face as the paper in his other hand fell to the floor. Last night had been his third sleepless night in a row. He has been able to catch a few naps during his breaks at work, but his body was beginning to resent the lack of a proper night's rest.
“Wouldn’t you rather go home today, Yuu?” Yoichi hedged, the frown he was sporting bleeding into his tone.
“No.” Yuu said firmly even as another yawn left him.
“I’ll bring you whatever I find after work, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Yoichi continued with a lighter voice. The idea was appealing, but he knew what would happen should he go home. He was having a hard time controlling his thoughts, and he was not sure how to put a stop to it. It had not helped that Mika was now more attached to him. Yuu had yearned for them to grow closer, for Mika’s anger and distrust to turn to acceptance…affection. However, he hadn’t counted on Asuramaru to latch onto that like a leech.
Asuramaru had once told him that his anger had fueled him well. The rage that had consumed Yuu after finding out that Mika was dead had made Asuramaru stronger. Over the years, Yuu had become better at controlling his impulses and emotions, and his bond with Asuramaru lost some of its strength after the war was over. Yuu had not had much use for his cursed weapon when he’d been out rescuing children from natural disasters, or when stomping out fresh rebellions. Asuramaru had become an occasional visitor in his mind, an afterthought. Even when he’d begun hunting the stray vampires, his emotions had remained mostly flat, indifferent. The stake of the world was no longer resting on his shoulders, the power Asuramaru could give him was no longer something he coveted.
Mika’s presence had undone that.
“Desire is the strongest emotion you can feed me.” Asuramaru purred.
Yuu frowned, dragging a hand over his face.
“It’s not that.” Yuu said, turning to look at Yoichi. “I told you before that Asuramaru has been reacting to Mika, but I didn’t tell you how.”
Yoichi nodded and settled into his seat across from Yuu.
With shame crawling in his stomach, Yuu carefully and reluctantly explained how Mika has been affecting both him and Asuramaru. He couldn’t keep everything bottled up inside his head, and he knew Yoichi would understand and wouldn't judge him too harshly.
Yoichi doesn’t say anything immediately after Yuu is finished, only stares off with an uneasy look on his face.
“It isn’t...surprising. Asuramaru is a skilled demon and your obsession with Mikaela will only make it easier for him to try to manipulate you.” Yoichi said with an all too knowing voice.
“Hey!” Yuu exclaimed before lowering his voice and throwing a nasty glare at Yoichi. “I’m not obsessed with Mika.”
“Infatuated?” Yoichi countered, raising an eyebrow. Yuu grumbled but didn't argue.
“Desire is a powerful thing, Yuu. Asuramaru will be easy enough to handle once you accept whatever feelings you are trying to suppress. The more you fight it, the stronger he will become.” Yoichi said sagely.
“It isn’t just...well...desire is one thing, but there’s more to it than that. I care about Mika. I…” Yuu couldn’t finish his sentence. He knew exactly what he felt for Mika, but if he said them outloud they would become a reality. A reality he didn’t want to live in. Not when Mika was there in body, but not in mind.
Yoichi seemed to catch on quickly enough. He gave Yuu a small, incredulous smile.
“It wouldn’t be you if your love life wasn’t also completely messed up.” Yoichi said, patting Yuu on the shoulder with a sympathetic sigh.
Yuu rolled his eyes, but kept Yoichi’s words close to his heart.
…
Mika curled his legs into his chest as he tried to concentrate on the black printed words of the book in his hands. He got through a single paragraph before realising he hadn't understood a single word he’d read, mind preoccupied on multiple thoughts.
Yuu was at the forefront of most of them.
He sighed, closing the book with a sharp snap and tossing it off to the side. With a huff, Mika got up and left his room. He walked aimlessly through dark corridors, fingers brushing faded wallpaper as he reached the hallway that led to Yuu’s room.
He hesitated, teeth biting against the tender flesh of his inner cheek.
He’d never come this close to Yuu’s bedroom. The scent of the man clung in the air that led to the door, a scent that’s become so familiar to Mika. Something in his stomach twisted, an odd feeling that had his feet moving forward.
Yuu hadn’t told him he couldn’t visit his room, but it still felt like Mika was doing something he shouldn’t. It felt like he was invading Yuu’s intimacy.
With a wary look, Mika opened Yuu’s door and slowly stepped inside.
The room was neatly organized, almost bare. There was a bed and nightstand next to each other in the middle of the room and a large wooden dresser pressed against the farthest wall. Heavy-looking curtains fell over the only window in the room, hiding the bright rays of the sun outside.
Mika wasn’t sure why he’d come here, or why he was disappointed that Yuu’s room seemed to lack something. It looked as if the room was rarely used, it held no personal items, no traces of Yuu’s personality. He’d thought it would have been filled with treasured items, well-kept pictures of the people Yuu cared for.
He wanted to know who Yuu kept close to his heart. Afterall, from what Yuu’s told him, they’d been apart for years. Who had Yuu loved while Mika was gone? Who had he shared happiness with? His sadness?
What would have happened had Mika not disappeared from Yuu’s life? What would have happened had Mika not lost the memories of them together?
What would happen if he were to regain them?
Mika sank into Yuu’s bed, mind spinning. He sits there, surrounded by silence and Yuu’s scent. It wasn’t until he heard Yuu’s footsteps approaching the room that he considered leaving. He doesn’t.
“W-what are you doing here?” Yuu’s tone is confused, it matched the look on his face.
“You’re avoiding me again.” Mika said. It was true. After Yuu had shared more of their past, he’d become distant from Mika. He would leave in the early hours of the morning and not return into very late at night. Mika would try to catch the man, but he’d have little success.
“Why?” Mika needed to know. He’d fought with himself enough the last few days, caught between feeling like an imposter and trying to reconcile what he knew his other half would want.
He expected Yuu to deny him again, to change the topic of conversation and guide him out of his room with a false promise of speaking about it tomorrow.
“It’s complicated.” Yuu said after a short pause, conflicting emotions warring on his face.
“How complicated?” Mika pressed, not moving from his spot. Yuu sighed.
“Very complicated.”
Mika clicked his tongue, annoyance bubbling in his stomach.
“What do you want me to say, Mika?” Yuu said, hand running over his face.
“I don’t know. I just want you to stop avoiding me.” Mika huffed with a glare. “I’m tired of not understanding your feelings toward me. You say that we were close, yet there are times when it seems like you just want to keep me away.”
“I do want to keep you away.”
Mika tilted his head to the side, eyes narrowing further. He stood abruptly, ready to leave and shut himself in his room. Yuu was in front of him before he could so much as move. Mika had to tilt his head back to meet the man’s eyes.
“You’d asked me if I had wanted to be more than friends and I’d lied to you when I told you that it didn’t matter anymore. My feelings for you have grown from when we were kids, and I can no longer keep my mind off you.” Yuu said, earnest and open.
Unconsciously, Mika leaned into Yuu, freezing when Yuu’s hands caught him by the shoulders.
“That’s why I need to keep you away.” Yuu murmured.
“Why? I also...I also can’t keep my mind off you, so why…” Mika refused to let this go, but he couldn’t find the right words to express his frustration, the confusion the man constantly inflicted on him. From the moment they met, Yuu had become an enigma, a puzzle he didn't have all the parts to solve. Those parts were buried somewhere deep inside his mind, locked away from his searching fingers.
“Is it because I’m not really him? Your Mikaela?” Bitterness filled Mika’s voice, he could no longer suppress it. Yuu looked as if he’d been struck. “You say that I’m still the same, that I’m still Mika, that it doesn’t matter what I’ve become, but it’s all lies.”
“You’re wrong.” Yuu snapped, voice an octave higher. “Mika, you’re...to me you’re...”
The moment Yuu hesitated, unspoken words hanging in the air between them, Mika leaned closer. His eyes flickered between Yuu’s eyes and his mouth, instinct guided his actions.
When their lips met, Mika felt complete.
It was strange. The feeling was overpowering, made his knees weak and his stomach flutter.
Yuu deepened the kiss, mouth moving urgently, hands tightening around Mika’s shoulders. Keeping him close. As if the man was afraid Mika would run away.
When they broke apart, Yuu dropped his head until it rested on Mika’s shoulder.
“Don’t hate me, Mika...when you regain your memories of us...don’t hate me.” Yuu breathed out against his neck.
A small chuckle passed Mika’s lips, hands curling around Yuu.
“I wouldn’t. I couldn’t even hate you when I didn’t know you.” Mika said, pausing for a moment before continuing. “And...if I don’t ever regain my memories, if I never become that Mika again, will you still want me?”
The thought had been gnawing at him for days. Mocking him.
Abruptly, Yuu pulled back enough to stare down at Mika. Eyebrows knitting together.
“Mika…” Yuu murmured his name, one of his hands coming to the side of Mika’s face. Fingers brushed against his cheek, warm and delicate. Yuu leaned down until his lips hovered just above Mika’s mouth.
“Nothing could ever erase my feelings for you.” Yuu whispered against Mika’s lips, delving into another kiss before Mika could say anything else.