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Peter parker moments? More??
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Because yall liked it.
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What would you bedazzle to destroy the universe?” The interviewer asks.
“Bedazzle?” THE Tony Stark questions.
The interviewer smiles and gives no context, so tony asks the kid
“To bedazzle something is to put gems on it.” Tony looks at peter weird.
“No that's Bejazzle.”
“No you’re weird.” peter exclaims. “It’s a D!”
“You’re a D.” Tony mutters scowling.
Peter looks at tony weird then, before addressing the camera. “Listen, I would never destroy the universe so I’m going to change the question to what I would bejazzle to save the universe.”
“So it is bejazzle.”
“What?”
“You said Bejazzle.”
“Did I really? I hate myself.”
~~~
“If you could be an avenger, who you you be?”
“Captain America!” Peter says a bit too quickly. “But I’d want to change it to captain Australia.”
“Oh yeah. Much better then americans.” Tony says beside him with a smile. “Would you wear the australian flag?”
“It’d be on the boomerang.”
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“A clip went viral recently of you trying to say what SHEILD stands for. Can you do it again for me now?”
Peter sighs and without hesitation says “Security Heightened Electronic Individual Deities.”
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“How do you get Peter Parkers…” Peter pulls off the tape covering the rest of the google search. “Hair. What? Why do people want my hair?”
Peter looks up at the camera in shock. “ Do you know how creepy that is? Are people just waking up in the morning and want to geet locks of my hair? What does google say? Does it tell them my address and a place to get scissors?”
There’s a cut, and Peter is looking at the camera with a serious look.
“I have been informed that people want to style their hair as I do. I actually have no idea, it just does what it likes. “
~~~
Wii shop music plays and the camera is focused on a fake Thanos gauntlet as peter waving it around, clearly explaining something.
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“It’s kinda like that feeling when you wear white after labour day and you spill a taco on the whiteness.”
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“My phone was just completely blowing up, and I was completely ignoring it because I can’t check my phone in the middle of a presentation, especially mine.”
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“Tony just looks a lot like old pictures of my dad with a goatee so it’s a running joke now that I call him dad but it led to people calling me stark junior at SI.”
“How did that feel?”
“Well, it could have been worse. It did get worse because Tony sometimes calls me Parker which is my last name, and that's the first time he said my name cause he was distracted. So I was known as Parker for way too long until Pepper Potts asked for me by my full name a title.”
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“Can you spell Dormammufor me?”
“... Dormammu so fat…”
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Peter is doing the viral renegade dance from Tik Tok to the Nyan Cat song.
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The background says ‘playground insults.’ Tony sits in front of peter in an expensive suit.
“I been meaning to tell you that you are slowly accumulating cardigans not even my grandma would wear.”
Peter holds down a laugh and points at Tony.
“You’re lucky your pretty cause you have nothing else going for you.”
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“If you could switch-” the with anyone in the mcu
“What makes someone a superhero?”
“Buying my tech-”
“Honor.”
“And anything else that would get me profit-”
“Courage.”
“Or just simply donating directly to me-”
“Dignity.”
~~~
“What Disney princess are you?”
“Cinderella because she’s just so very broke.” Peter turns to Tony. “Can I borrow 20$?”
~~~
“What is Captain Americas Tinder bio?”
“I'm Captain America.”
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“Why do so many people have a crush on Peter Parker? He looks like a baked potato.” Peter frowns before there’s a cut to another video of Peter.
“Never has a baked potato looked so good.”
~~~
“What was your reaction to knowing you’d present today.”
“I actually didn’t know until the event organizer told me when we were walking in. He was all ‘okay so you’re going to stand right there when it’s your turn .’ And I just went ‘for what ?’ and he continued and said ‘well were going to have this Podium and you’ll stand- I’ll be there- and there’s an X- ”
The crowd laughs.
“He never finished his sentences either. ‘It’s the thing- fro up there- You be there. Go talk to Mrs. Potts. Mrs. Potts will know .’ so I go and find her and I ask what’s happening and she just went ‘ talk to Tony .’ At this point, I’m a little upset so I go find tony and ask him what I’m doing and all he says is ‘did you talk to Pepper ?’ Like really?”
“Then what?” the interview prompts.
Peter laughs and makes a rather good imitation of Tony, taking off fake sunglasses and waving his arms around vaguely. “You’re just gonna, you know.” he makes a final gesture and relaxed back into his chair, but with a bewildered expression.”
The crowd laughs again.
“I was just like, ‘ am I dying ?’ It was very cryptic.”
~~~
This time, it’s Peter asking Tony a question rather vindictively.
“What does SHIELD stand for?’
“Shitloads of helium identifying elephants laughing and dancing.”
~~~
“Peter Parker is one of those whiteies who claps when the plane lands.”
Peter grimaces and nods. “I mean, I'm just glad no one else parents died on it like mine did.”
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“If Jesus Christ was from America he’d look like Steve Rogers.”
~~~
“Are you asking Tony Stark if he has a hard time finding attention?”
Comments :
HPLVR4LFE
I hope he never ever loses his childlike spirit
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Anuki
He's such a walking disaster, that everyone loves to love lol.
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jubinnit
This just appeared in my recommended and I’m glad about it
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