Chapter Text
July 29
She knew Pope was upset. But she hadn’t realised he’d been that upset. She watches him tear off on JJ’s bike and she’s not sure if she feels more guilty for hurting him or pissed off for him being a dick about it.
A helicopter flies over and her gut drops. Things are getting worse for John B, they need to get him off the island now.
As they are packing up the food JJ hesitantly tells her that Pope saw them last night and it all kind of makes sense. Why he was so angry. The tension between JJ and Pope when she had woken up. They’d been sneaking around behind everyone's backs, lying to them, maybe it’s understandable that he’s less than happy about it. But last night had been this moment of happiness in between the mess that their lives have become and now it’s become another reason things are falling apart.
‘He’ll be fine.’ JJ tries to reassure her and she wants to believe it.
It takes everything in her not to follow JJ into his house. She’s never liked him being near Luke but after the other night she can’t bear the thought. But JJ tell’s her to stay and she listens. When he comes back out his eyes are watery but she doesn’t push it, instead pulls out of the drive and reaches across to hold his hand in hers.
Her whole world comes crashing down. Part of her was so sure they could pull it off. That he would get free and things might be some version of okay. It was a fools thinking.
Her parents hold her like she’s a child who’s just had a bad dream. She finds JJ and pulls him tight and feels the anger deflate out of him. The three of them cling to each other, wondering how they are supposed to stay together now that the glue is gone.
When her parents try to guide her from the tent she stops them.
‘Can JJ stay with us tonight?’ She asks. She had almost thought that the Heywards would take him home but they had filled out into the rain leaving him behind.
‘Kaira-’ Her mother starts but Kie is quick to cut her off.
‘Mum, he’s all alone.’
With a small sigh Anna agrees.
JJ almost declines but Kie gives him a look to tell him that it’s not an option, so he accepts her hand and lets her lead him to their car.
She stares up at the ceiling for half an hour, unable to sleep, her mind running around and around, until she is sure her parents would be asleep and then sneaks into the spare room.
The second she enters the room she knows he’s awake, he doesn’t say anything, however, until she’s pulling back the covers and climbing in next to him.
‘Kie… If your parents find out-’ Despite his protests JJ lifts his arm and welcomes her in as she cuddles into his chest.
‘I don’t care.’ She really doesn’t. She’s not going to spend a sleepless night, feeling sick to her stomach when the one thing, one person, that could make her feel better is just a couple of feet away.
Leaning on his chest Kie listens to the steady thump of his heart, tries to smell him though the scent of the clothes he has borrowed from her dad and lets it sooth her the best it can.
She doesn't know where the thought comes from but once it’s in her head she has to ask.
‘Do you think John B would have been happy for us?’
She realises that their best friend would never know about them, they’d never know what he thought of them together. After everything it seems like such a selfish thought, but it’s those little things that make a person, and a relationship and they are all gone now. It all feels so fucking trivial, the secrects and the sneaking around, what she wouldn’t give to go back and have John B’s constant ribbing as her and JJ tried to naviagte their new relatiosnhip.
‘What?’ JJ asks.
Kie lifts up her head and rests it on his chest. ‘John B. What do you think he would say when he found out about you and me?’
JJ gives her a weak shrug. ‘Would have been happy I guess. For me atleast.’ JJ’s mouth pulls to the side and she wishes she could have called it a smile. ‘Probably think that you could do better.’
There he goes again, not seeing how amazing he is. Her heart tugs at the thought that he doesn’t know how much John B thought of him.
Kie reches up and cups his jaw. ‘Not possible.’ She tells him earnestly.
With a half smile JJ eyes shift from hers.
‘Hey,’ Kie gently turns his face back to her. ‘Don’t disappear on me. Okay?’
JJ shakes his head slightly. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I just- I want you to talk to me. I don’t want you to bottle it up and just disappear.’ Kie can feel her eyes water at the thought. ‘I can’t- I can’t lose you too, okay?’
‘You won’t’ JJ brings his hand up to her face and swipes her check with his thumb. ‘I’m right here.’
Kie sucks her lip between her teeth and nods. She drops back down to lay on his chest.
‘I’m right here.’ JJ repeats in barely a whisper his arm pulling her closer and planting a kiss on the top of her head.
She’s glad for it. Glad to have him there to ground her. That he’s there to hold her as she falls asleep.
He’s still there when she wakes up, holding her close and for the briefest of moments, she feels like she might be able to get through this.