Chapter Text
Ali faithfully sat next to Ashlyn’s bedside. Like every other day since Ashlyn slipped into a coma, Ali washed her face, brushed her hair, gave her a sponge bath, changed Ash’s hospital gown, and brought her fresh flowers. Ali spent the day talking to Ashlyn about their life together and about Ashlyn’s past. She hoped that Ashlyn would subconsciously hang on to one of the memories and find her way back to her.
...
Ashlyn didn’t see a flash of light anymore. She was surrounded by a bright white light that made her eyes hurt. She had to partially cover them with her hand to hide from the shine. She looked behind her and saw darkness, but it felt comfortable. It felt easier to go back than to fight to go forward. She debated if she should stop walking forward and go back to the darkness where she could rest.
The journey into the light was difficult and unknown. There was no guarantee that it would lead her to a better place. All she knew was that she was tired and could vaguely hear a familiar voice coming from the light.
She determined in her heart that she had to keep searching.
...
Ali wiped at her eyes as she continued to tell Ashlyn about the day they were supposed to get married. “You and I argued for almost an hour about whether we should have a string quartet or a harpist. Of course, you let me have my way. You always do. You’re usually more concerned with my happiness than being right.”
Ali was holding Ashlyn’s hand as she reminisced. Her heart was breaking. She rested her head on Ashlyn and her hands and cried. Her tears fell and hit their intertwined fingers.
When Ali finally caught her breath, she leaned up and kissed Ashlyn’s lips. She touched their foreheads together and said, “Please come back to me. Whatever you have to do to find me...where ever you are...please!” Ali was desperate. She begged the Love of her life to fight for their future together.
Ali heard a knock on the door and straightened up. She dried her eyes and greeted Ashlyn’s brother. “Hey, Chris.”
“Any change?” He asked.
“No. The doctor is going to talk to you about that.” Ali said sadly.
It had been a month since Ashlyn’s car accident. The doctors were all agreed that without a miracle it was time to talk about ending Ashlyn’s treatment. Her organs were healthy, but her mind was gone. They had been keeping her alive with a feeding tube, but the expense of the tests and treatment was adding up. Because Ash and Ali weren’t married yet, Chris was the next of kin and had to make the final decision. He promised Ali he wouldn’t do anything unless they were in agreement. He knew that would be what Ashlyn would want.
“I can’t believe this is happening.” Chris said.
He sat on the other side of Ashlyn’s bed and held back his own tears. Over the last month he and Ali had seen each other break down dozens of times. There was no need to hide their emotion from one another.
“We can’t give up on her, Chris. She’s still fighting. I know it!” Ali cried. She held tightly to Ashlyn’s hand and squeezed it as she spoke. “Please don’t give up on her. If we let her go, we die with her.”
He nodded his head in agreement. Neither of them could imagine a world without Ashlyn. For him, she was everything good in his life. She gave his life purpose and hope.
“It’s a hard decision.” Chris said. He was completely exhausted. His inability to sleep was adding to his difficulty to think straight. “I know that she wouldn’t want you to spend your life savings on medical care.”
One of the ways that Chris decided he could help his sister was to watch out for Ali and her best interests. It was a balancing act between wanting what was best for his sister and what was best for the woman she loved.
“Chris, who cares about money?” Ali cried out. “This is her life we’re talking about. We wait as long as it takes to bring her back.”
Ali broke. She began to weep into Ashlyn’s side. Chris hurried to the other side of the bed to try to comfort her. Ali turned into him and let him hold her. He looked over Ali’s shoulder and searched his sister’s face for a sign of hope. He needed something to hold on to if he was going to be able to be strong enough to get through this time.
...
As Ashlyn wandered in the light, she gasped for air. She felt like she couldn’t breathe. A wave of water pulled her under and no matter how hard she tried to swim, it pulled her further and further away.
...
“Hey, Daddy.” Ali greeted her father and let him hug and kiss her before she returned to Ashlyn’s side.
“Hi, Princess. I brought you something to eat.” Her dad said and handed her a bag of sliced fruit and a sandwich.
This was a daily routine for him. He knew his daughter wasn’t eating well. He didn’t think she was sleeping well, either. Though he couldn’t do much about the sleeping problem, he could do something about the eating. He would bring her food every day. As she ate he would sit with Ashlyn and tell her jokes. Ali thought it was wildly inappropriate to laugh beside a comatose patient, but Ash and her dad had a special relationship.
They were constantly joking at the worst possible times. Ali was often rolling her eyes at their shared irreverent sense of humor. Last Christmas they went to church with Ali’s family and her dad and Ashlyn cracked jokes throughout the service, including during the closing prayer. Ali was certain she caught the pastor glaring at them while everyone else had their eyes closed.
“Alex, I think she might be getting tired of listening to soap operas all afternoon.” Ali’s dad joked as he gestured to a nearby tv that was playing a daytime drama quietly.
“I just have it on as background noise. The silence is daunting. When I talk to her and don’t hear anything in return...” Ali paused as she tried to temper a wave of emotion. “...it’s hard.”
“I know, Sweetheart. All of this is hard. You two are just kids. You shouldn't have to endure this.” He replied. “If I could take her place I would. If I could make this all go away for you two...” Ken cleared his throat and then stole a strawberry from his daughter’s plate to lighten the mood. They had shared many emotional moments together over the last four weeks.
The weight of sorrow was beginning to be too heavy to carry.
...
Ashlyn stopped struggling.She stopped trying to swim upstream. She let the wave carry her away. As she took a breath, her lungs filled with water and she sank. She looked above and searched through the top of the water. She felt as though she was moving in slow motion, sinking within the bubbles and foam. She saw a flash of something on the surface. Something beautiful. She knew she was about to die, but needed to see what was above her. She coughed up the water from her lungs and started to swim again. Her legs and arms pushed the water beneath her and as her head poked through the glassy surface she found what she was looking for.
...
Ali, Ken, and Chris were talking quietly when a machine next to Ali’s seat started going crazy. Ashlyn’s heart rate was dangerously high. Ken quickly pressed the call button while Ali and Chris looked on with fear. They all wondered if this was Ashlyn’s way of telling them to let go. If she had a heart attack and died, they wouldn’t have to be traumatized by making the decision to stop keeping her alive.
They watched Ashlyn gasp for air. Ali thought for sure this was it. She was about to lose the woman she loved. It wasn’t until she opened her eyes that they realized she wasn’t leaving them. She was finding them.
“Ashlyn!” Ali cried out. She held her hand and hugged her tightly.
A nurse rushed in to check on the patient hooked up to the beeping machine. She turned the sound off and took Ashlyn’s vitals.
Ken hugged his daughter from behind and said, “We need to give her space.” He pulled her back a few steps as they watched the nurse work.
“Ashlyn, I’m right here.” Ali called out. She didn’t want Ashlyn to thing she had abandoned her. “Daddy, I need to be beside her.” She begged.
The nurse heard her protests and sympathized with her. She said, “Come over here and hold her hand, while I finish up.”
Ali rushed to her side and watched as her fiance’s confused eyes lit up when they found her own. “Baby, you’re ok. I’m right here.”
A doctor checked on Ashlyn and confirmed that she was stable. She was confused and hadn’t spoken a word since she had woken up. The doc said that she was in shock and they needed to wait until she had calmed down to really know what condition her mind was in.
Ali asked Chris for his permission to have some alone time with Ashlyn. She had gone to great lengths during the last month to make sure he felt important and necessary for Ashlyn’s recovery. She wanted to respect his position as Ashlyn’s closest relative. He had drifted off for a while in the past, but when he heard Ashlyn was injured, he dropped everything to be with her.
Chris agreed to give the couple some privacy and kissed his sister’s forehead. “I love you, sis. Remember you’re a superhero and have superpowers. You’ll be out flying in no time.” He said referring to the childhood stories they used to share. He laughed nervously and patted Ali on the shoulder as he left the room.
Ali waited for Chris to close the door behind him and then gave her fiance her full attention. “Ashlyn, I’m so happy to be able to look into your beautiful eyes again.”
Ash was exhausted. She was having difficulty keeping her eyes open and Ali knew it. “Listen,” Ali said. “I know you’re tired. It’s ok if you need to rest, but I think everyone would feel a lot better if we knew you were really back. The doctor said it’s possible you might have lost your memory, or even worse. Baby, can you talk to me? Can you please just let me know that you’re ok.”
Ali watched as Ashlyn closed her eyes. She wanted to cry. She knew that if Ash understood, she would do everything in her power to comfort and reassure her. She closed her own eyes and let her head rest on the side of Ashlyn’s hospital bed.
After a few seconds of crying, Ali felt a movement next to her. Ash had turned her head towards her, in an attempt to kiss her head. Ali immediately brought her head up and caught Ashlyn’s eyes looking straight through her.
“Ash.” Ali whispered.
She lightly traced the outline of Ashlyn’s face and waited in the thickness of the potential hope of the moment.
“Alex...” Ashlyn breathed out. The volume of her voice was quieter than a whisper.
“You remember me?” Ali said through joyful tears.
Ashlyn closed her eyes and opened them slowly as she said, “I found you.”
...
Ashlyn struggled for the next few days to stay awake for more than a few minutes at a time. But she did eventually make a full recovery. Ashlyn explained to Ali that the time she spent in the coma felt like she was living life in the real world, searching for the truth of who she was and where she belonged.
Ali told her about the one sided conversations she and Chris had had with her while she was unconscious. They figured out that many of the memories shared were the same things Ashlyn was working through in her mind while in the coma. Ash described it as needing to find out how to be herself and know who she was and what was worth living for. She told Ali that she was at the top of her list.
“Did you find what you were looking for? Where you belong?” Ali asked.
“Yeah.” Ash told her. “I found you. I belong with you.”
...
They were able to keep their original wedding date. Chris stood proudly by his baby sister’s side as she married her best friend. After hours of celebrating and dancing with their friends and families, Ali and Ashlyn set off for their honeymoon. Their days and nights on the white shores of their favorite beach were filled with lots of love making and overflowing glasses of wine.
On the last night of their honeymoon, Ashlyn pulled out a string and tied it around Ali’s wrist and said, “Like two loose ends knotted together, we are imperfectly perfect. I love you, Alex. I’m so grateful we found each other again.”
“Where did this come from?” Ali asked, pulling on the tied string.
“When I was figuring things out I re-proposed to you and tied a string around your finger.” Ash explained. “That was the moment in my journey where I realized that if we’re together we can overcome anything.” She kissed her beautiful wife and said, “I never would’ve made it back if it wasn’t for you.”
“Thank you for working so hard to get back to me.” Ali replied. She kissed Ash and then said, “You saved both of our lives.”
After the romantic moment was over Ali sat up excitedly and said, “So, let’s talk babies!”
Ashlyn fell down on the ground and replied with her eyes closed, “I can’t talk now I’m in a coma.”
...
And they ALL (including their future babies) lived happily ever after...