Chapter Text
When Soobin woke up the next morning, the only regret he felt was letting Yeonjun mix his drinks. He wasn’t really hungover, couldn’t be from just two drinks, but he felt the slightest hint of shakes. He also regretted not brushing his teeth before he went to bed, and immediately got out to do so.
Yeonjun, who was still knocked out, did not make a noise as Soobin slipped out from under the covers.
Before Soobin went to the bathroom, he took a moment to admire Yeonjun’s sleeping form. His shoulders were so wide but his waist was so small. Soobin almost couldn’t believe his eyes. Yeonjun must have been working out, because the muscles on his back were so toned. How long had his shirt even been off? Did they fall asleep like that?
Soobin wasn’t sure, but he was thankful. The blanket draped just over Yeonjun’s hips, covering his legs and feet but nothing else. Soobin thought the way Yeonjun hugged the pillow he was laying on was the cutest.
Once Soobin was able to peel his gaze away, he made his way to the bathroom to brush his teeth and rinse his face off with some water. He had been here a few times already, so there was already a spare toothbrush ready. Soobin wasn’t sure why, but it filled his chest with something seeing it still there, right beside Yeonjun’s.
After scrolling through his phone and reading all of the notifications he missed—even a few from Beomgyu—he decided to go back to the bedroom.
Once he got inside, he was met with a very distressed Yeonjun with his head in his hands and his knees to his chest. As soon as Soobin closed the bathroom door behind him, Yeonjun’s head snapped up.
Yeonjun then unfolded like a dead fish onto the bed below him. He flopped there, wallowing in his own self pity. “I hate you,” he stated.
Soobin smirked. Did Yeonjun really think he left? Crawling back into bed, Soobin had to fight to even lay a finger on Yeonjun. “I love you too,” he responded. Finally, he was able to cuddle back up to Yeonjun’s side. He never put up a good fight anyways.
“I seriously hate you. Could you not wake me up first? Or… I don’t know, just wait for me to wake up?” Yeonjun groaned, but his tone was light. Maybe even relieved.
Soobin had no intention of scaring Yeonjun, but it was a little funny. His hyung was so silly. “Go brush your teeth and then come tell me you love me too.”
Yeonjun gave Soobin a look. One that said ‘watch who you’re pushing around.” Before getting up and doing precisely what he was instructed to do.
When Yeonjun shuffled back into the room, Soobin patted the space next to him. “Well?” Soobin asked.
Yeonjun crossed his arms over his chest, weighing his options. He could stand his ground, and tell Soobin how scared he was. Or he could get in the warm inviting bed next to the most beautiful man he had ever seen in his life.
Yeonjun quickly laid back down.
“Tell me, Yeonjun. Do you really have absolutely no faith in me at all? Did you actually think… I could ever leave you?”
Yeonjun laid his head on Soobin’s chest and wrapped a leg over his waist. “Well… no I didn’t really think so. But also I don’t really think a lot when I’ve just woken up. I saw you weren’t here so my brain just said you left me.”
“That’s not going to happen,” Soobin reassured him, “and you forgot to tell me you love me.”
Yeonjun lifted his head just an inch so he could meet Soobin’s eyes. “You know I love you,” he said quickly. Almost apologetically.
“I do know,” Soobin said, smoothing a hand down the back of Yeonjun’s neck. “Of course I know. But I still like hearing you say it.”
Yeonjun smiled, laying his head back down. He couldn’t think of anything else at that moment. His school work, his parents that he missed at home, his health, his anxiety. All of it seemed just a little more manageable. The room was warm, almost uncomfortable so with the two of them laying together, but he never felt more comfortable.
In a weird but comforting way, it felt like home. The feeling was so indescribable that Yeonjun knew it must be true. Maybe it was too fast, but it didn’t matter to Yeonjun, because nothing ever in his life had felt so right. He wanted to tell Soobin.
“I love you.” He said, earnest.
Yeonjun knew he didn’t have to tell Soobin all of his thoughts. Because Soobin had to feel the same way. This moment was so perfect, but sharing it made it all so much more special.
Yeonjun wanted to kiss Soobin. He wanted to make him feel good and give and give without taking anything. Maybe he didn’t deserve it. He was so lucky to have Soobin, he felt like an artist who found their muse.
Yeonjun slowly positioned himself lower, on his knees. He trailed the palms of his hands down Soobin’s hips to his thighs, spreading his legs just enough to make room for himself. Soobin quirked an eyebrow.
“Keep your hands there,” Yeonjun instructed, glancing at Soobin’s hands down by his sides. Soobin nodded his head quickly, gripping the sheets in his fist.
Yeonjun pulled Soobin’s pants down and off, tossing them to the floor. His boxers followed after, joining the pile.
“Please-“
Yeonjun looked up at Soobin. “Please what?” he replied. He then spit generously onto his hand and began stroking Soobin, getting him comfortably wet.
Soobin flinched, nearly moving his hands as his knees came up just slightly. “Ah- please… can you take your shirt off?” he asked, trying his hardest to sound normal.
Yeonjun was quick to comply, pulling his shirt from the bottom hem and over his head. “Wanna see hyung better?” he asked.
Soobin nodded his head, taking in the sight before him. He couldn’t stop staring at Yeonjun’s shoulders and the light muscles there. It was intoxicating.
Just as Yeonjun was about to start, Soobin stopped him again. “Wait- can you… can you kiss me one more time?”
Yeonjun, despite his confusion, leaned in to kiss Soobin. It was light and fluid, just enough to satisfy them both, but not distract them from what was about to happen. Yeonjun pulled on Soobin’s bottom lip with his teeth as he pulled away.
Then, Yeonjun quickly got back to it, still stroking Soobin in long slow motions. Finally taking him into his mouth, Yeonjun was very pleased to say the absolute least at the sounds Soobin released.
Little whimpers, barely audible, but the room was silent and unforgiving. Yeonjun wanted more, he needed to hear more of Soobin.
“So good hyung,” Soobin stuttered out, “so good to me.”
Yeonjun felt like he was on cloud nine. He took Soobin even deeper, bobbing his head enthusiastically.
Soobin wasn’t going to last long.
Yeonjun came back up for air, stroking Soobin with his hand quicker this time. He rubbed his palm over the tip in a circular motion and Soobin all but wailed.
“Hyung, hyung-“
It all just encouraged Yeonjun to push himself more. He took Soobin back into his mouth, hollowing his cheeks and going as deep as he could. He used his tongue every time he came up closer to the tip. Anything to hear Soobin’s cries.
“Gonna- hyung stop, I’m-“
Yeonjun looked up, meeting Soobin’s eyes. He held Soobin at the base, just holding on for a second as he pulled away again. A string of saliva connected from his lip down to Soobin’s dick. “Do it then,” he said.
And Soobin would’ve, right then and there with only Yeonjun’s hand holding him still. But then Yeonjun was going back down on him.
It was so warm and perfectly wet— and Soobin even wondered if it had been more than five minutes. Then, he was coming down Yeonjun’s throat.
Yeonjun knew exactly how hard to suck and how long to keep going through his orgasm. He let Soobin reach the peak and land gracefully.
Then, Yeonjun decided to test the waters. He could tell Soobin was done, but he kept going, just slowly.
“Hyung-“ Soobin began, reaching a hand up to stop him.
Yeonjun let Soobin drop from his mouth with an obscene wet noise. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and then swatted Soobin’s paw away. “I said keep them there.”
Soobin’s eyes widened. And then narrowed with pure lust. His breathing was starting to pick up.
Yeonjun then began stroking him again, slowly.
But Soobin could barely take it, he was fighting too hard to keep his hands still. He wanted to be good. “Hold my hands down…” Soobin whispered.
Yeonjun glanced up, having barely heard him. “What?” He asked, nervous. Afraid he was crossing a line.
But then Soobin turned his head away with a shy look on his face and raised his arms over his head. “Y-You can hold me down… if you want,” he explained.
Yeonjun got up from his knees, hovering over Soobin. With one hand, he pressed Soobin’s wrists into the mattress. Firm. With the other, he began to pick up the pace.
Soobin squirmed and his chest jerked. He couldn’t help it, the urge to fight back. But it felt so good to not be in control.
Yeonjun’s hand kept a steady, easy rhythm. Not too fast, not too much. Watching Soobin fall apart like this was almost too much for himself. Then Soobin was mumbling something again. “Hm?” Yeonjun asked.
“Feels good… but,” Soobin let out a long sigh, trying to get the words out, “it hurts.”
Yeonjun rubbed his palm over the tip in circles again.
“Hurts, hurts, oh god- hyung!” Soobin chanted. “It’s too much, please, oh god.”
Yeonjun looked back up at Soobin, seeing the tears falling over the sides of his face. It was so beautiful, he wished he was an artist so he could paint this moment.
Then, Soobin was coming again.
Yeonjun, out of the pure goodness in his heart, decided to have mercy. He worked Soobin through it again and then went to grab tissue to clean him up. He knew Soobin wouldn’t want to get up.
“Yeonjun, let me-“
Yeonjun smiled before laying back down on Soobin's chest like before. “Just cuddle me,” he said, already closing his eyes. He could really go for a nap.
“But you didn’t-“
Yeonjun slapped Soobin’s chest. “Enough. I really just want you to hold me right now.”
Soobin mumbled something, but complied.
After a moment of silence, Yeonjun spoke up. “I came when you started crying,” he admitted. “I cleaned myself up in the bathroom after you turned to jello. No wonder you didn’t notice.”
Soobin’s entire face turned red. “Oh my god…” he mumbled. He wasn’t sure why he was the embarrassed one, it was just a lot of information to learn all at once. “Did you touch yourself?”
Yeonjun slapped Soobin on the chest again. “Be quiet. Let me sleep.”
“Can I… have one more hug?” Soobin asked.
Yeonjun pushed himself up onto his elbows. “Why do you keep saying stuff like that? what do you mean ‘one more?’”
“I don’t know…” Soobin trailed off, looking anywhere but into Yeonjun’s accusatory gaze.
“Soobin-“
“I just still feel like I’m stuck in a dream,” Soobin finally blurted out.
Yeonjun smiled, let it sink in. Let the thought bounce around in his mind. Maybe he wasn’t the only one worried that things would be different in the morning.
“Well you’re not,” Yeonjun stated, “this is real. And you can hug me as many times as you want. And I’ll always be here.”
Soobin was eternally grateful Yeonjun didn’t tease and instead reassured him. But Yeonjun always knew the right thing to do, so he wasn’t surprised anyways.
Soobin pulled Yeonjun up into a hug, pulling him close. “Stay like this then. Forever.”
Yeonjun laughed, light and easy. “I would, bunny. I’d really love nothing more.”
“Yeonjun?” Soobin whispered.
“Hm?” Yeonjun hummed in response.
A silence filled the room. One that was comfortable, and not entirely new. A warm silence, like sun filtering in through the opened blinds.
“I’m glad it was you.”
“What was?”
“Everything. My first… a lot of my firsts. All of them, everything in between. I’m glad it was all with you.”
Yeonjun stayed silent and Soobin worried he had said the wrong thing.
“Not that it-“
“I’m glad you were my first too.”
Soobin gave Yeonjun a puzzled look. He knew he wasn’t Yeonjun’s first time, they had talked about that.
Yeonjun must’ve known what he was thinking. He always did. “I’m glad you were my first love,” he explained.
Soobin smiled and hummed. “You’re mine too, hyung.”
“I was always yours Soobin, you know that. I just… need you to be mine forever. I want to be selfish this time. I want to be your last.”
Soobin wrapped his arms around Yeonjun tighter. Afraid he might let go and be faced with the reality of waking up. Soobin closed his eyes and whispered.
“I’m all yours.”