Chapter Text
The first person Shelby asks to hang out with outside of work is Dot. While she’s made a number of new friends at the zoo, Dot is the one she finds herself seeing the most often. Although Toni might have been her first choice, she can’t stomach the idea of asking her to do something together outside of work just yet.
Shelby finds herself at some dingy bar only a few blocks away from the zoo. It’s the last place Shelby would normally find herself, and not exactly her idea of a good time, but as Dot had promised, the drinks are cheap and the rusty jukebox against the back wall is loaded up with some pretty good music.
Shelby finds them a table while Dot orders them a round of drinks, insisting she “knows what’s good around here.”
She returns holding two glasses filled to the brim with a dark liquid.
“Should I even ask?” Shelby says, accepting the drink from Dot’s hand.
Dot shrugs, before taking a long swig of her own.
Shelby hesitantly takes a sip of her drink and immediately winces, the alcohol stinging all the way down her throat. “Jesus, Dottie.”
“Larry makes em’ real strong and I’m all about efficiency,” she replies. “If I wanted to pay five bucks for a weak ass drink, I’d just go to Chili’s or something.”
Shelby looks around at the bar and takes in her surroundings. They’re the only women in the entire bar, something that makes Shelby slightly uneasy. The walls are lined with tattered posters for the Minnesota Vikings and the Minnesota Twins, and the song currently playing sounds like something she’d hear back in Texas, in her ex boyfriend Andrew’s truck.
“How long have you been in Minnesota?” Dot asks.
“Just since March,” Shelby replies, swirling her straw around in her drink. “Thought I’d give the midwest a try.”
Dot laughs dryly. “I know Texas sucks and all, but I can’t say this place would have been my first choice.”
Shelby feels her mouth go dry, prepares herself to come up with some kind of lie as to what actually brought her so far up north.
“Well I’ll be,” says a voice behind Shelby, in a faux southern accent.
Shelby swings around and comes face to face with Fatin, Leah standing rigidly behind her.
“Got room for two more?” Fatin asks, already loudly shuffling a pair of chairs up to Dot and Shelby’s table. “I finally got this one to come out with me and thought I’d bring her to the finest establishment this city has to offer.”
Shelby notices that Fatin’s voice is still in full on performance mode, which comes as somewhat of a shock- Shelby had always assumed she just laid it on heavy at work. She waves at Leah, who looks like Fatin actually might have put a gun to her head for her to be there, and shuffles her chair over to make room.
“Two double rum and cokes, Lar-bear,” Fatin yells towards the bar. The man standing behind the counter smirks and gets to work on their drinks.
“If this,” Shelby says, holding up her drink, “is a single, I think a double might actually kill me.”
The three other girls laugh softly, and the table falls into an uncomfortable silence.
“So Dorothy, you didn’t tell me you befriended the Zoo’s very own southern belle,” Fatin says, eliciting an eye roll from Dot.
“I know you tell me everything about your life, Fatin, and I mean everything, but that doesn’t mean I have to tell you everything that I do.”
“Um, yes you do, bitch,” Fatin argues. “That’s what best friends are for.”
Shelby raises an eyebrow to that. She certainly wouldn’t have pegged Dot and Fatin to be best friends, or friends at all for that matter.
Shelby sits back in her chair and just listens to Dot and Fatin talk. They bicker, endlessly, and Shelby finds herself laughing at the ridiculousness of it. They go on for a solid 20 minutes before Leah finally interjects.
“So this place is pretty interesting,” she says, her blue eyes scanning the bar.
“I thought you would like it,” Fatin says. “It’s super grungy. But in a good way. Like you.”
“Good to know the aesthetic I’m giving off is equal to a dirty bar for emotionally distant, alcoholic dads,” Leah deadpans.
“Nah,” Dot says. “This is the type of bar my dad would bring me to to eat nachos and watch Ranger’s games together.”
“So, Shelby,” Fatin says, reaching across the table. “Who, besides my beloved Dorothy, have you clicked with so far.”
“Toni, the big cats zookeeper,” Shelby knee jerks. “The one you were talkin’ to me about on my first day. And Martha from small mammals. Nora from birds. Oh, and Regan, the vet.”
Dot nods in approval. “Pretty solid crowd.”
“Very solid crowd,” Fatin corrects. “What about you, Leah?”
Leah shrugs. “Basically the same.”
Shelby raises an eyebrow. “What about Rachel? You never shut up about her.”
Leah blushes as Fatin raises her eyebrows in mock surprise. “Rachel from marine animals? She’s definitely a smokeshow. And speaking of smoke shows, Toni, wow. I would climb her like a tree.”
“May I remind you that you already tried to climb that tree?” Dot teases. “And she didn’t give you the time of day because your name doesn’t start with R and end with Egan.”
Suddenly a million pieces click into place in Shelby’s head. Toni and Regan’s icy interaction at the rehab center, how it had suddenly seemed like they were talking about much more than a lynx. “Toni and Regan are datin’?”
“Were,” Fatin says, leaning back in her chair. “Or maybe are? Nobody really knows. They’re basically the brangelina of the Minnesota Zoo.”
“Okay first of all, they wish,” Dot says with a laugh. “Second of all, let’s mind our own business.”
Fatin pouts. “You’re no fun, Dorothy. You know I live to gossip.”
“I didn’t know Toni was- like,” Shelby stutters out.
“Oh don’t tell me you’re one of those Christians,” Fatin interrupts. “It isn’t the 50’s anymore, babe.”
“I’m not,” Shelby snaps. “I just didn’t know.”
“Really?” Leah says, chewing on her straw. “Cause’ her gaydar pinged me from, like, a mile away.”
Dot nods. “She does wear the hell out of those khakis.”
“Can we stop,” Shelby blurts out, before she can stop herself. She feels her blood run cold at the sight of three pairs of eyes trained intensely on her. “It just feels disrespectful, is all. If she has- you know, a partner.”
The silence lingers for a moment too long before Leah breaks it. “Well, I’m gonna head to the bathroom. Fatin?”
Fatin stands up dutifully and the two girls rush to the restroom, Fatin sneaking a glance over her shoulder at Shelby.
“So what the hell was that about?” Dot says, lacking any tact.
Shelby sighs. “Nothin’. I just don’t like to gossip.”
“Okay,” Dot says, and Shelby knows she doesn’t believe her. “But, you’re not like- like I know you’re from Texas and everything, but-”
“No,” Shelby insists, leaving it at that.
Shelby rises from the table suddenly, realizes Fatin and Leah are already in the bathroom, and then opts to go outside. She rests her forehead against the chipping brick wall of the bar, closing her eyes and inhaling slowly. She knows she’s in the first stages of a panic attack, the familiar rush of heat spreading across her entire body.
She thinks of what Fatin and Leah are discussing in the sanctity of the bathroom, how they must be whispering about how Shelby is homophobic. Despite the nonfunniness of the situation, Shelby almost wants to laugh at the irony. If only they knew. If they knew what Shelby was thinking 24/7. If they knew why she was living in fucking Minnesota in the first place.
Just when Shelby is about to open her eyes again, she hears someone clearing their throat behind her.
“Hey?” says a girl, instantly recognizable.
Shelby swings around, green eyes meeting familiar brown and an unsure smile. “Hey,” she says, brushing the strands of hair off of her face. “What are you doing here?”
“Fatin texted me,” Toni says, holding up her phone. “I was around, so I figured I’d swing by.”
Shelby’s eyes suddenly lower, and she realizes this is the first time she’s seen Toni out of her zoo uniform, instead wearing a loose pair of loose fitting jeans and an oversized band t-shirt.
“Yeah, they’re in there,” Shelby says, gesturing to the door.
“Cool,” Toni says, taking a step towards the door but then hesitating. “But why are you out here?”
“I just-” Shelby starts, before finally releasing a breath she wasn’t aware she’d been holding. “I needed some air, I guess.”
“Larry turn off the AC again?” Toni says, feigning irritation. “Cheap bastard.”
For the first time in what feels like years, Shelby feels the corners of her mouth raising. “I think I just got a little overwhelmed.”
“Yeah, Fatin can be a little…overwhelming,” Toni says with a grin.
Shelby shifts her weight on her feet.
“Well, if you’re not wanting to go back inside just yet, I know a really good cupcake spot just down the street,” Toni offers. “My treat. I still owe you from the donut.”
“Okay,” Shelby says, pushing herself off of the wall. “That sounds nice.”
Shelby types out a quick text to Dot letting her know not to worry, and then follows Toni’s lead. She deduces quickly that Toni had sort of lied- the cupcake shop is definitely not just down the street. She finds it hard to care, though, because as the two girls cross Park Avenue, she realizes she’d walk to Spain if it meant she’d get to listen to Toni talk the whole time.
The summer sun is finally setting by the time they reach the bakery. They walk inside and Shelby finds them a table while Toni orders- insisting that she guess the flavor Shelby would want since Shelby had guessed on her favorite donut.
She fails miserably- picking a banana cream cupcake for Shelby.
“You just seem like a banana girl,” Toni says with a pout. “We can switch.”
Shelby shakes her head. “I’ll eat it. It just wouldn’t have been my first choice.”
“I’m usually right,” Toni says, taking a comically large bite out of her chocolate cupcake. “It’s sorta my hidden talent.”
Shelby raises an eyebrow. “You take all the girls here?”
Toni’s jaw clenches. “Regan actually introduced me to this place.”
Shelby decides to play dumb. “Oh, Regan the vet?”
“Yeah,” Toni says with a nod. “I don’t know if you knew this, but Regan and I used to date.”
Used to.
“Sorry,” Toni says, squeezing her eyes shut. “I didn’t mean to kill the vibe.”
Shelby shakes her head hard. “No, it’s okay. I…didn’t know that.”
“Yeah, we tried to keep it private, but you know how that goes,” Toni says. “Can’t tell Fatin anything.”
Shelby laughs, thinking about how Fatin had been the one to spill the beans to her, too. “Was it a messy breakup?” she pries.
Toni shrugs. “It wasn’t at first, we were pretty on and off for a while. But lately we’ve been sort of at each other’s throats. I guess just being around each other so much is hard.”
“I think I could sense that back at the rehab center.”
“Yeah,” Toni says apologetically. “I’m sorry about that. I definitely didn’t wanna lose my cool in front of you.”
“Why did you guys break up?” Shelby lets slip. “If you don’t mind me askin’.”
“Nah, it’s cool,” Toni says, shaking her head. “We just…are very different people. And it took us way too long to see that.”
“What do you mean?”
“We met when I was in a really good place in my life,” Toni explains. “I’d just graduated college, which I never thought I’d do. I was talking to my birth mom again. And then I met Regan and I thought my roller coaster was only going up.”
“And then?” Shelby asks.
“And then my mom ghosted me again,” Toni says with a humorless smile. “I realized getting a job was a lot harder than I’d expected. Shit just sorta hit the fan.”
“And it messed your relationship up?” Shelby intuits.
“Yeah,” Toni confirms. “I started spiraling and Regan couldn’t handle it. And what really sucks is that I can’t even blame her.”
“I’m really sorry, Toni,” Shelby says, placing her hand on Toni’s. “But you should know there are plenty of people out there who would love you through the good and bad.”
Toni looks up and looks hard at Shelby, her brown eyes glassy with tears. “I hope so.”
Shelby smiles, wipes at a tear building in her own eye.
“God, I’m sorry,” Toni says, sitting straight up in her chair. “I didn’t mean to just totally start trauma dumping on you.”
“It’s fine,” Shelby insists. “I’ve been told I’m a good listener.”
“You are,” Toni agrees. “And I just don’t really have anyone I can talk to about all this. Martha, sometimes, but she always gets a little too emotional about it.”
“Well now you have me.”
Toni nods her head. “Yeah, I guess I do.”