Chapter Text
If he could, Lan Wangji would have smacked himself in his face again and again for the stupid thoughts he had lingering in this brain all these years.
'If he would have wanted to meet me, he would have come that day.'
'Why should I be the only one looking for him?'
'He probably found someone else already, and that's why he isn't caring at all about our connection as soulmates.'
'How can he give up on his soulmate and just take another person? I hope he's miserable.
Stupid. Stupid. You're not a human being Lan Wangji, you are a monster, he told himself in his dream. He had cursed his soulmate silently all those years, looked down on him for the fact that the other seemingly didn't care. He didn't come on his birthday either, even though Lan Wangji had informed every single nurse in his department and even the friendly woman at the central desk in the foyer to be thoughtful of a man looking for him. That they should just tell him their department and then take him to... but he didn't come. Well... that wasn't accurate. Wei Wuxian had come, had shown up on that day, it was his fault to miss him. If he had just never taken over A-Huan's surgery, he would have been the one to take the heavily injured Wei Wuxian on his operation table and wpuld have heard a summary of his medical records. He would have recognized him. Making sure that he got the uttmost care, the best doctors and done everythign for Wei Wuxain to recover...
Lan Wangji thought back to more of the things he had listened to... no one had ever visited him. He hadn't only been in a coma for six years, seven in just a couple months... no, he was completely left alone. No one that would talk to him, no one to play him songs or just hold his hand. No one that brought flowers in his room or opened the window a crack to let a fresh summer breeze in. What an awful human being he was.
Wei Wuxian would have died alone, with no one that loved him, with no one that tried to stall the turning off of the machines that kept him alive... and all just because of his bride, because of his jealousy...
He could feel his chest growing tighter and tighter with every second, so much that he couldn't help but open his eyes slowly to look around and figure out what was going on. His head was throbbing, Lan Wangji already feeling dizzy even though he was currently laying flat down, domething cold pressing against his head in an attempt to calm him. His body felt heavier than he ever remembered, as if one had connected weights to his limbs that were supposed to sink him to the depths of the oceans. Maybe, he thought, it was just his concious finally acting up, now that he knew everything. He begged for his body to hurt more, for his skin to be set on fire just so he could punish himself a little for his wrongdoings.
"Wangji-gege , " a soft, slightly suprised voice appeared somewhere in the room and just a few second later, Wen Ning was leaning down to him, placing a hand on his cheek. It felt... uh... like a cube of eyes. How nice.
"Drink some water first, I'll..."
Before the young man could finish his sentence, Lan Wangji had started to get up, his head spinning by the sudden movement and he could feel something in his stomach twisting. It was light outside, maybe early evening right before the sun was about to set. If that was the case, a day had already passed since they figured out that Wei Wuxian was his soulmate, and that left less then two days to stop the machines from being turned off. Even if he was ill, and he surely was by the way his legs threatened to give out just by standing up and taking a few steps, he had to make sure he wouldn't die first. Then he could be sick. Wen Ning tried his best to hold him back, but towering more than a head over him, even in his weakened state there was no way he could be swayed. He just ignored him, his hands seeking support on the walls while he moved to their living roo...
What had happened here?
Maybe he was still asleep, he thought, clapping himself once. But even after his cheek started to sting and the room started spinning... he didn't wake up. All over the room was a mix of sleeping bags, blankets, papers, diagrams, take-out, bottles of water and... very tired versions of his friends. Wen Qing was nibbling on a sandwich, eyes glued on some king of x-ray, Mo Xuanyu was trying his best to pick up the dirty plays and cups of coffee from the whole room, Jiang Wanyin was grabbing his cup of coffee so hard and growling at the other for just trying to take it away, even though it looked empty... and Wen Ning just stumbled over to his sister, throwing her out of her concentration before pointing at him.
"A-Zhan" , with just a single glance at him, the woman's face turned soft, kind even, but worry was etched into her expression. Sure, he could feel himself barely able to keep himself up, waves of dizzyness hitting him so hard he felt like throwing up. But there were people in worst shapes, his soulmate to count one, so he didn't allow himself to be sick. If he was able to stand through a 12 hour operation with a sprained ankle, then he was able to endure this little fever as well.
The thought had juts passed his mind when his legs gave up and he prepared himself for hitting the ground... which, to his surprise, didn't happen. Strong arms caught him, holding him up before he was dragged over to the couch and carefully placed in a laying position in a spot where papers had just been cleared by Mo Xanyu. On a second glance, the person that had just saved him from more dizziness sat down right next to him, the empty cup of coffee still in his hand.
"How long ... was I sick?" Lan Wangji barely brought out of his lips, fear evident in his eyes that stared right into Wen Qing's.
"Um... well... "
"3 Days. You collapsed Monday night and over the night you got sick and your fever kept rising. A-Huan and I brought you to the hospital the next morning because it was slowly becoming life threatening. You were there for two days, Wen Ning and Nie Huaisang picking you up this morning and getting you back here at home, so you could completely recover. " Jiang Wanyin clamly brought out, snatching the pot of coffee from the table and pouring another cup for himself, before emptying 4 packs of sugar in it and sipping the... probably digustingly sweet liquid. Upon seeing the shock and panic on Lan Wangji's face, who was already struggling to get up again, he added: "Obviously A-Huan took care of things so he's okay. Nie Huaisang is currently there and will be sleeping over. One of us has been with him for the past days, figuring that would be what you would want to do if you weren't... sick. "
"How is he doing? I have to go see him."
The determination that was definitely present in lan Wangji's voice didn't make it outside of it, his body limbly laying on the cushion while still having a light fever and feeling week. Sure, the man had a fighting spirit like only a houndful of others, but even with the best mental determination, one couldn't completely ignore their body.
"If you use your brain for a second and put your feelings away, you will come to the conclusion that it's a bad idea. You're sick. It might be from stress and overworking yourself, but you are sick yourself. Do you really wanna risk dragging yourself inside the hospital in this state and him getting sick too?" He raised an eyebrown and could, even without looking, guess the other's facial expression: determination that was quickly changing into sorrow. "He's okay for now, so no worries."
Jiang Wanyin could feel some eyes on him and upon rising his, they met in what seemed to be a question. He just shook his head, drinking more of his coffee before focusing on the notes and medical sheets in the living room again. Sure... they were keeping things from him for now. Big ones at that. But then again: He had learned to only give out reasonable hope as an oncologist. One that actually had some backing, that wasn't just wishful thinking. And even more with this being one of his friends, he wouldn't be starting going against his concience right now. In any way, even though their guesses could have been right... they would need time to find out if that actually was the case. So better not wake sleeping dogs, right?
[ 3 Days prior ]
"He passed out..." Lan Xichen looked his brother up and down with a gloomy expression, carefully drying his wet cheeks before picking him up.
"Do you want help ?" His boyfriend asked softly but the eldest just shook his head and left the room with his younger brother in a bridal style lift.
It didn't take long for him to return, maybe five minutes, but even after he had sat down on the couch again, a heavy silence was covering the room. No one really knew what to say. It wasn't just the shock about the earlier revelation, but most of them could also feel the guilt nibbling on their skin. If they had pushed Lan Wangji to keep looking for his soulmate, if they just had gone against the code of conduct and looked up his soulmate in the transplantation data bank... If they hadn't just left him alone with the search and let him give up on it...
But nothing would have changed. Sure, they all would have visited Wei Wuxian over the years, but the end result of the machines being turned off would probably be the same. They could pay for the costs of the treatment... but he wouldn't wake up anyway right? If he was still in a coma, even after 6 3/4 years... his chance to wake up was close to 0. Not to say it was completely impossible, but it was not likely, to say the least.
"Let's stop draining in guilt and sadness and get our asses up to actually improve the situation, " Nie Huaisang brought out louder then planned and startled the others, who had mostly been deep in thought. "Just sitting here doesn't change anything. I know it's a shock, but with A-Zhan in this state and Wei Wuxian unable to do anything either, we have to take this task on ourselves."
With that he stood up, handing small cards with notes out, that he had seemingly kept in the sleeve of his modern hanfu, the whole time. Each person, Jiang Wanyin, Lan Xichen, Wen Qing and even Wen Ning, who had come in just 3 minutes ago and was more than just confused about the weird mood in the room, got a specific one with their name on it.
"A-Huan, I wrote down the number of his relatives on your note. Tomorrow morning, just call them and say that his hospital bills will be taken over by a couple doctors, ask if they want to continue being his legal guardian and ask for premission for more tests." He turned his head a little to Wen Qing, who had looked a little uneasy since earlier. Of course, he knew the reason, but wouldn't it be rude to keep the others in the blue about the real deal? "You wanna tell us something right?"
The woman seemed surprised at his words and stopped biting her nail a bad habbit she still wasn't able to completely control when there where such big... happenings.
" The last test results, x-rays, cts and brains scans are more than 6 years old , " she brought out in a mumble and earned stares from all the others. Even Wen Ning, the only one who didn't actually work in the hospital but was a kindergarden teacher, knew that this was more than just weird.
"That has to be a bad joke, " Jiang Wanyin brought out, his arms crossed over his chest.
"It's not. After the first initial 3 or 4 weeks of treatment, his relatives refused any examinations since it would cost extra money. The doctors also were told to continue giivng him light... um..."
"Light what?"
"Sedatives."
"You fucking kidding right?" Without realizing it really, Wanyin had taken his glass in his right hand and accidentally smashed it with his grip, blood starting to drop from his hand while his stare would have been able to burn down cities and eradicate whole planets. Sure, he was Mr. Anger issues, but even Lan Xichen had to admit to have never seen his husband in this bad of a stage. Even he was a little... intimidated. "They have been keeping him on the initial medication that was used to insure his body and brain could recover from the accident? They have been giving him that stuff the whole time? No wonder he didn't wake up!! How could he when his body was full of sedatives?"
He brought his red hand to his face, seemingly wanting to massage the bridge of his nose when his eyes suddenly landed on the blood that kept dripping from his hand, but ignored it again. The others, especially Lan Xichen tried speaking up, but before anyone could say something, Jiang Wanyin was talking again:
"If we slowly decrease the dose of the sedatives until there are none in his systems anymore... he might wake up right?"