Chapter Text
Fezco left the party, resting his head on the steering wheel, knuckles bloody and torn against his jeans, adrenaline buzzing through him, and he was shaking. He disliked violence, hated it in fact and not for the first time he thought about how different his life could have been if he wasn’t involved in the business.
The casual way in which others in the business inflicted pain on others, like it was routine, almost to be expected had never sat right with him. He had tried his best to raise Ash without resorting to violence as the first option but somehow, Ash had become the type of kid who struck first and asked questions later.
He was worried he was fucking his brothers chances of a good life up and that was the kind of shit that stuck with him. He’d feel the heavy wave of anxiety in his gut, circling in his brain the way the smoke unfurled from his lips, a near constant hum. Weed helped numb some of the anxiety, softening the world a bit, dimming the harshness but it didn’t help everything.
And then there was his soulmate.
He knew he definitely had one, he would feel thrums of her happiness from time to time, making him smile to himself as he stocked the shelves and drove home. He felt her energy spike throughout the day, he knew she woke up early and went to sleep late like him, how could someone simultaneously be an early riser and a night owl? Somehow it endeared him to her even more.
He’d also feel her deep bouts of sadness, usually at nighttime when he’d be in bed, staring up at the ceiling or sitting on the counter at the store, wondering what had happened that day to make her so upset.
Fezco had always believed in soulmates, he did, but he had always assumed he would be one of the people who didn’t have one - why would God give him of all people a soulmate? When his life was the way it was, it just didn’t seem fair.
He couldn’t deny that the thought of his soulmate brought him peace though.
He loved her without even knowing her but doesn’t mean he was totally ready to meet her, especially not after everything he had put her through.
He knew she must have felt all the beatings he had taken over the years, all the shoves, punches, glances to his ribs, and the crowbar he took across the head when he was twelve had resulted in blackouts due to the pain. He hated the idea that because of him, his soulmate was hurting constantly and one of his grandma’s lessons rang through his head: ‘love is the only instinct you can’t trust’.
He had kept the fact that he had a soulmate from his grandma after hearing those words, but sometimes, when she had been up and about - he caught her looking at him, in a particular kind of way which made him think she knew anyway. His grandma hadn’t been the nicest, not soft like other peoples and she’d sooner shoot you in the arm than bake you cookies but he knew she loved him, in her own way. Her love was never kind but it was unconditional. And he had let that be enough for so long.
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As he was driving home, his hands still aching from the beating he gave that Jacobs fucker, his thoughts strayed to Lexi Howard. He hadn’t expected to run in to her tonight and even if he did, he didn’t expect to actually talk to her the way they did, their first real conversation beyond a few words.
He couldn’t lie to himself, he had liked Lexi for a while now, enjoying the glimpses of her he got through Rue at the start and then as they had drifted apart a little, his heart would skip a beat or two whenever Lexi would come by the store with her sister and friends.
He had seen her at a Halloween party, dressed as fucking Bob Ross and somehow that had made him like her more - which he didn’t think was possible considering how she had him feeling. He had complimented her and she had blinked rapidly, looking behind her as if to check he was really speaking to her. She had blushed and thanked him and he had wanted to continue the conversation but she had caught sight of someone and rushed off with a hurried apology.
He liked her brown eyes, almost honey when the sun hit them just right, her little dresses and skirts, the soft shine of her hair and how she always smiled at him, no restraint just honest to God kindness.
That kind of kindness was rare and he wanted to hold her face between his hands and just look at her, take her in.
If Ash could hear what he was thinking sometimes he knows his brother would never let him hear the end of it. He had clocked on somehow to Fez’s not so little crush and was unbearable whenever Lexi had just left the store, talking shit about how he was whipped for a girl who wasn’t even his soulmate.
And that was another thing. He was pretty sure if there was any girl who was meant for him, it had to be Lexi. But how he would actually go about finding that out wasn’t exactly easy. He had heard once that when soulmates met each other they just knew but he didn’t think that was realistic – the stupid pain test Rue had devised seemed more legit to him. But that would involve actually telling Lexi how he felt and then what if they weren’t actually soulmates? He didn’t think he could deal with that.
A part of him wants to say soulmate be damned, but he knew deep inside he wanted to meet her, that one person that was meant to love you beyond all reason. He thought that shit only existed in movies but he’d seen how Rue and Jewel loved each other, hell even his grandma had loved his pops that way.
As Fez iced his knuckles and winced at the stinging, he tried to be gentle, knowing his soulmate would feel every last bit of the sensation. He felt like shit when he had beaten Nate up knowing that his soulmate would also feel it, he had looked at Lexi immediately after and she had been wincing, maybe out of disgust? That she had let a violent thug like him near her? He could have sworn he had seen bruises mottling her skin though and her clenching her hands, the way he did after a fight. That was probably all in his head though, just because he wanted her to be his soulmate, didn’t mean she actually was.
Fez had a lifetime of unfulfilled wishes and he guessed this would be just one more to add to the pile.
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A few weeks after new year’s, he was sitting on the counter at the store, idly looking at his phone. He had been waiting, hoping against all odds that Lexi would text him, he kind of wished he had taken her number too but he didn’t want to pressure her, leaving the ball firmly in her court. He had been distracted as well since he could feel his soulmate struggling with anxiety, he could feel the nerves and was constantly on edge, even Ash had noticed and told him to cut it out.
He was about to hop off the counter and tell Ash to call it a night, when he heard a bike pulling up round the back of the store. He heard light footsteps then he saw her, Lexi Howard, right there, as if his thoughts of her had conjured her up. She was wearing this red lipstick which he wanted to kiss off her, wearing some plaid pants and a grey top which fit to her tight little frame and he almost felt his mouth drop open, gripping the edge of the counter tightly. Goddamn she was gorgeous.
He felt a surge of desire, butterflies flapping lazily around his stomach as he greeted her, a rosy blush painting her cheeks, making her look even prettier. She held her small hands in tight fists, much like his own, and she exhaled after a beat or two. “I kinda need to talk to you…alone” she looked nervous, eyes flicking to where she knew Ash was in the freezer and Fez felt a heavy rush of uncertainty pulse through him, burning a path straight through his chest. He was kind of surprised that she was being so direct, he knew she was fucking fearless but still, he was just happy she came round.
“Uh, sure, you wanna, like head to the roof or something?” he suggested, remembering how Lexi and Rue would hang out up there a lot until one day they just stopped. There were so many times when he had wanted to make an excuse and join them, just to be in their company and get to know Lexi some more, but he always chickened out. Lexi nodded in response, and followed him out the door, making their way up the stairs to the roof and sitting in the centre, a couple of rusty deckchairs which sank down further with their weight.
“So uh, not that I’m not happy to see you Lexi, ‘cause I am trust me on that one, what did you wanna talk about?” he said slowly, feeling happiness surge through him through the soulmate bond, he was glad his soulmate was having a good day, for once he could honestly say the same since Lexi was here. “So um, you know how you beat the shit out of Nate on New Years?” her blunt words startled a laugh out of him and he gestured for her to carry on, she took a deep breath and continued, her hands wringing together.
“Okay so, I don’t really know how to say this but I felt it, after you…were done, I remember looking down and my hands were all bruised for a second and it fucking hurt and I couldn’t really think about anything else but…I felt full of adrenaline, like I’d just been in a fight and so I got to thinking, that you and I might…that you could be my…”
Fez let out a choked little laugh, not because he found it funny, he felt like he was almost deadly serious as he listened to Lexi talk, paying attention like he never had before to anything. At his little laugh cutting her off, Lexi’s face crumpled and he felt a wave of devastation through the bond, which was so powerful it made his chest physically fucking ache and she made as if to get up, but he quickly stopped her, placing a hand on hers.
“I’m sorry Lex, I didn’t mean to laugh, it’s just, are you tryna say you think we might be soulmates? That you’re my soulmate and I’m yours?” he said gently, holding her hand tighter as she bit her lip and nodded, those beautiful eyes trying to gauge his reaction to her admission. He felt almost lightheaded with happiness, wanting to hold her to him, to kiss those lips which had featured in his dreams for so long. But he stopped himself, wanting her to be sure, for them to test the bond first and make sure.
“So how are we gonna know for sure? I know Rue and Jewel did that dumb fucking test of hers, but ion wanna hurt you, if we are y’know like” and he can’t utter the word soulmates, the hope of it actually being Lexi almost too much. Lexi gently moves her hands from underneath his, he hadn’t even realised their fingers were entwined like that, it had felt so natural.
Instead of pinching herself or hurting herself in any other way, she just leans closer to him, settling her hands on his shoulders, and she kisses him. It’s innocent, just a brush of their lips but he feels it everywhere. It feels electric, like fireworks and rainstorms and every other cliché he’s ever heard in his life and then she’s cradling his face, parting their lips and he’s chasing her, their foreheads resting together. If she wasn’t his soulmate then someone had seriously screwed up, up there, because he was certain she was. Fucking fearless. “I knew it” he hears her whisper to himself and he feels incredible, she had wanted it to be him? He had never been anyones first choice before.
“That was…” he starts, and she finishes his sentence “perfect”. He wants to kiss her again, to feel her against him, solid and whole and with him. She draws back though, holding his hand again and traces the scar that runs across the side of his head with her other hand. “When did you get this?” she asks gently, the feeling of her fingers trailing down his neck making him shiver a little.
“Got it when I was twelve, crowbar to the head, knocked me out and ever since I get these really bad migraines” he explained, her fingers dancing across the scar again. It felt oddly soothing, “I was ten then, I remember feeling like someone had just clocked me with a fucking baseball bat or something and I blacked out, I didn’t realise what it meant” Lexi said, and his eyes widened, shame curling in his gut at her hurting at the same time as him.
“Don’t do that, don’t feel bad about it, it wasn’t your fault Fez” the combination of her words and his name coming off her tongue feels like absolution, or penance for all the pain he’s put her through, even unknowingly. To feel their emotions so entwined like this, to have her know exactly what he’s feeling and see evidence of their bond is something he can’t fully put into words.
He traces an old scar on her palm “what about this one?” she pulls a face, and he smiles at her, knowing that there’s a story behind this clearly, “ugh so Rue convinced me to climb over this fence one time and the wire cut right through my hand, it was a couple of summers ago and I had to get” Fez interrupts her “seven stitches” and he kisses her palm, and then feels embarrassed, “was that weird?” and she just shakes her head and kisses him on the cheek.
They spend the next hour running through stories, Fez taking his hoodie off when Lexi shivers as it gets colder, seeing her in his clothes gives him a heady shot of lust, and by the way she rubs her legs together and bites her lip, she knows what he’s thinking. She skates by it, clearly not ready to take things further, but she moves closer, somewhere along the way they had chosen to lie on the roof instead, forgoing the chairs, she’s curled up along his side, Fez flat on his back. They have all the time in the world and somehow Fez thinks it might still not be enough.
“I always wondered if I would ever meet my soulmate” Lexi whispers, her eyes tracing the perfect line of his profile. He meets her eyes as she continues speaking “I kind of always wished it would be you” she admits, blushing as he takes her hand and places it over his heart, the rapid beating making her smile. “You don’t know how much I wished the same Lex, like fuck, I would practically fall over whenever you would just smile at me before” and she scoffs a little inwardly, but he’s telling the truth, their bond has already strengthened and she can feel his sincerity.
“Isn’t it crazy how we felt so much for each other before even figuring out we were soulmates?” Lexi says, staring up at the darkening sky then at Fez as he watches her. “I guess that just shows that we’re meant to be, soulmates or not” Fez says, “like even if we weren’t, we’d find each other somehow”.
Lexi nods, knowing what he means, it feels like fate, or some larger part of a grand design, a divine plan even. “Meant to be, I like the sound of that” and he can feel how blissfully happy she is, not just through the sense of rightness that floods through his body, but because she’s there with him and he’s holding her, those soulful eyes and kiss swollen lips, her hair like silk against his cheek and it feels like all is right in the world.