Chapter Text
Hide gulped and looked down, scratching the nape of his neck. He didn’t want to admit it, but he was definitely making shifty eyes at the graffiti artist, who was blushing nervously and looking to the side with an uneasy smile on his lips.
Cute…
“U-um,” the blond started, cursing himself for stuttering. “Are you okay?”
The black-haired boy flinched and rapidly turned his head to look at him, eyes wide. The sudden movement made Hide flinch back a bit as well.
“E-eh?” he squeaked, his voice going high.
Even cuter…
“I mean,” Hide said, chuckling and trying really hard to appear way more collected than what he felt like, “you seem like you’ve been out here for a while. Isn’t it uncomfortable? Aren’t you cold?”
The artist just stared at him without blinking, his mouth ajar. The blond gulped once again under the gaze of those clear grey eyes—they kinda looked like the cloudy sky before a heavy storm, and Hide wondered if that was just their natural color or the vibe they gave off because of what the other had been through.
The boy looked down, smiling softly—cute—and hugging his own legs tighter.
“I’m not cold,” he mumbled. “And I’m okay. Thank you.”
Hide could feel himself getting goosebumps from the other’s tone when he thanked him. He thought he had never heard anything so genuine.
This is the real deal. It’s the person I’ve been wanting to meet in front of me after months. The real thing, right in front of me.
The blond stood up and wiped imaginary dust off his pants, giving himself a moment to collect himself before beaming his trademark smile and reaching out his hand.
“Well, it’s nice to officially meet you! My name’s Nagachika Hideyoshi, but you can just call me Hide!”
The black-haired boy stared at him for a little while, looking quite awestruck. When he reached out to grab the hand Hide had extended at him, though, the notes he had been holding in his hand fell to the ground, and the boy blushed and hurriedly picked them up, mumbling inaudible apologies under his breath as he stowed them in his hoodie pocket.
That might had been the most endearing thing the blond had ever seen in his entire life.
He didn’t chuckle or say anything though. He felt like it would just make the other self-conscious, so he just waited. He had waited for dozens and dozens of days for this moment, so waiting for a little more as he watched the artist collect himself and look at him with his lips pursed and his ears red was nothing. He just waited for him with what he hoped was an amiable smile and his hand always extended, always waiting.
The hand that grabbed his was the hand that had painted all those wonderful pieces. It was soft, pale, and cold. Hide wanted to kiss it, thank it, and basically worship it.
He pulled the other up, helping him stand. He wasn’t very heavy, but there was weight, he was real.
He was just a tiny bit shorter than him. That somehow made him happy.
“Kaneki,” the boy said, looking everywhere but him with a nervous grin on his lips. “My name, that is.”
“Kaneki,” Hide repeated, tasting the name and loving how it sounded. “Hi.”
Kaneki giggled and squeezed his hand, and holy mother of god…
“Hey.”
Kaneki fiddled with the hem of his shirt as he stared from the blond’s back to the ground, then back to the blond and back to the ground. He had to bite his lip to hold back a giddy bubble of laughter.
“Kaneki,” that vibrant yet low-ish voice called him, dragging the last syllable a bit. It was strange, but he felt as if no one had ever called his name like that.
He looked up, feeling like his cheeks were embarrassingly flushed—though he had felt like that since the first time he had registered this boy was the same person who had made him feel better about everything for the past months.
The other was staring back at him, an easygoing smile on his lips—was that permanently there? Didn’t he get exhausted of smiling all the time?—and his gaze softened with genuine fondness Kaneki didn’t know how to deal with. He shone.
“Yeah?” he answered, and his breath caught in his throat when the other’s smile widened just as he let his voice out. He was so bright.
“Why are you walking behind me? I wanna walk side by side.”
Oh no, Kaneki thought. He had messed things up already. Walking so far behind a person was weird after all. He averted his eyes and strolled to catch up.
“S-sorry,” he mumbled.
“Dude, there’s nothing to apologize for,” the blond said with that permanent friendly smile on his lips. “I mean, we’ve just met, so it’s okay to be a bit awkward, I guess? We’re not used to talking face to face at all, and frankly speaking you seem kinda really shy, so I don’t blame you for walking behind me at all, it isn’t weird or anything. If you feel comfortable with it though I’d love to walk side by side with you!”
Once he registered the other’s words, Kaneki had to blink rapidly because there was no way he would tear up in the middle of the street in front of someone he had technically just met just because he had this strange ability of being able to say exactly what he needed to hear.
The other didn’t say anything, he didn’t pry or comment on how he was strangely blinking and nervously looking away. Why was he like that? How had Kaneki managed to meet someone like that? That kind of people only existed on books.
“Hide…” Kaneki mumbled, his heart pacing up because it was the first time he had said the other’s name, yet it rolled off his tongue so nicely and effortlessly.
Hide hummed in acknowledgement, giving him a playfully curious look.
The black-haired boy gulped and clutched the strap of his bag, the heat pooling in his cheeks getting more intense.
“You know? When y-you talk…”
Oh my god, shut up, you’re ruining this, you’re already ruining this.
Hide was just giving him a look that conveyed that he could take all the time he needed to word stuff properly, because he would patiently wait—just as he had waited for Kaneki all that time.
“When you… talk, you kinda…”
Shut your mouth before it’s too late, for god’s sake.
Kaneki closed his eyes and breathed deeply before opening them again and meeting Hide’s beautiful brown eyes, as warm and welcoming as his personality was.
“Your eyes shine when you talk… It’s really how I had imagined you’d be.”
Well, congratulations, now you’ve done it.
Hide laughed loudly, and Kaneki would’ve thought that being laughed at would make him feel bad, but he just somehow knew the other wasn’t making fun of him at all.
“I know, right? I’m just naturally charming like that.”
Kaneki laughed a bit more timidly, but he laughed nonetheless. Seriously, this guy was just way too amazing, he couldn’t be real.
“Wait,” Kaneki said, suddenly coming to a realization. “You’re not a serial killer, are you?”
The blond snorted loudly and started doing something that seemed to be in between laughing and coughing. It was highly unattractive but somehow really endearing.
“No, are you?”
“Of course not!” Kaneki yelped indignantly, definitely not pouting.
“Then why would I be? That’s mean!”
“Well you just seem too good to be true and in these cases it always ends up being a serial killer!”
Kaneki expected another whimsical reply, but when he saw that Hide had stopped talking and was just staring at him with his mouth agape and cheeks slightly reddened he realized what he had just said. He practically combusted in the spot.
“I—”
“Well, that caught me off guard!” The blond laughed a bit awkwardly, scratching his cheek sheepishly. “Do you wanna go get some coffee so we can talk a bit more?”
Kaneki gaped at the other, reluctant to believe that he hadn’t made fun of him or acted disgusted yet. Just who was this person?
His eyes zeroed in on the other’s backpack, and he frowned slightly.
“Don’t you have to go somewhere?”
The blond laughed and waved his hand dismissively.
“Don’t worry, don’t worry!” he said. “I have class, but it’s okay if I skip one day!”
“You don’t have to do it for me, just go to class…” Kaneki said, fiddling with the hem of his shirt again.
Hide’s expression softened—well, no, not really. It went from his carefree smile to a quite solemn expression, his gaze piercing. Kaneki felt a great intensity radiating from the other, and he shifted nervously, not really knowing how to act under that stare.
“Look, Kaneki.” The blacked-haired boy shivered when Hide spoke his name in such a serious tone. “This encounter is something I’ve been waiting for a long time. I rarely ever skip class, and I’m smart enough to miss a day. So believe me, this is far more important than a lecture in college.”
“Anteiku.”
“What?”
Kaneki scratched the nape of his neck and averted his eyes.
“It’s the coffee shop where I work. Today’s my day off, but we could go get some coffee and talk there.”
Hide smiled at him, and Kaneki felt so warm, so good, so right.
“Lead the way then.”
“I’ve been here.”
Kaneki turned around and looked at him just as he was starting to walk up the stairs that led to the familiar wooden door of the coffee shop.
“You have?” The black-haired boy tilted his head.
“Yeah. Like a lot. I’ve been here tons of times.” Hide said, taking a step forward, closer to the other. “I was here just last week. Remember I told you about eating a really good cake on this coffee shop in one of the notes? Well, if you’ve read them, there were lots of those.”
“Of course I’ve read them,” Kaneki replied immediately, the slightly offended frown on his features quickly being replaced by a puzzled expression. “How come you didn’t say anything when I asked you to come here earlier?”
“I’m bad with names.” Hide shrugged. “I couldn’t remember it.”
Kaneki hummed and climbed up the stairs, setting his hand on the door handle and stopping there. Hide stopped as well and looked over the other’s shoulder, trying to get a look of his expression.
He was wearing a sad smile. It was beautiful in its own way, and it somehow really suited Kaneki, but Hide didn’t like it.
“What’s wrong?”
“I just thought it’s kinda funny,” Kaneki said, looking ahead and promptly avoiding eye-contact with Hide. “I work here, and you say you’ve been here a lot, but we’ve never bumped into each other.”
The blond opened his mouth to reply, but the words died in his mouth as Kaneki spoke up again.
“Or maybe we have,” he started, “and we didn’t recognize each other. Maybe I’ve taken your order sometimes, maybe—”
Kaneki’s words were cut off when Hide hit his lower back with a knee. The impact hadn’t been very rough, since Hide hadn’t intended to hurt him at all, but the black-haired boy yelped in surprise and stumbled forward, his face colliding with the wooden door.
“We’ve never bumped into each other,” Hide announced loudly, patting the back of Kaneki’s head—which was still pressed against the hard wood—repeatedly. “There’s no way I would forget your face or your voice just like that.”
“But—”
“Plus, I stand out a lot. And I’m loud,” the blond interrupted. “There’s no need to overthink stuff like that, just go in.”
Kaneki let out a quiet whine and straightened up, rubbing his nose, reddened by the impact. Hide sighed and smirked, stepping forward and tugging at Kaneki’s hoodie sleeve.
“Come on, do you need me to take you by the hand and lead you inside?”
Kaneki looked at him and pouted, shaking his hand off and opening the door.
“There’s no need, thank you. And that hurt, you know?”
Hide smiled apologetically and followed him inside the shop. Right as they entered, Kaneki collided against something again. He was endearingly clumsy, Hide thought.
“Ow!” that something spoke, seemingly annoyed. “Watch where you’re going, shitty Kaneki!”
“Tou—”
“What are you doing here?” the short girl that had slammed into Kaneki interrupted. Hide recognized her as the quiet waitress that had taken his order several times. “I know you’ve been really spaced out lately, but you don’t work today, you know?”
Kaneki laughed bashfully and scratched the nape of his neck, looking at Hide and then back at the waitress, who was wearing a high school uniform. When his gaze diverted to the blond hers did too, and she raised a questioning eyebrow.
“I know, I was just hoping to have some coffee with my... um...”
“Friend!” Hide finished the other’s sentence, feeling like the other’s insecurity wouldn’t let him admit they had a relationship of any resemblance to friendship. “I’m his friend, nice to meet you, though we’ve met already”
A flash of recognition went through the girl’s face, and she put on a fake polite smile, bowing slightly.
“Ah yes, you’re a regular costumer, welcome,” she greeted. “Ah, now if you'd excuse me, I should be heading to class.”
“Alright!” Hide chirped, walking into the shop to leave the path to the door open and waving at her. “Have fun!”
She waved back and hurried outside, and Hide turned to Kaneki, who was still watching the door.
“I bet she can’t believe I have friends outside of here,” the black-haired boy commented.
Hide snickered and playfully punched the other’s arm.
“Well she can start believing it cause I plan to stick around for a while.”
Kaneki laughed quietly as he rubbed the spot Hide had punched. There was some tinges of uneasiness under his smile, and Hide pursed his lips.
He had only just met the graffiti artist, but he already wanted to find a way to make every single one of his smiles wide and genuine.
Kaneki wasn’t good at conversation, he really wasn’t. Being forced to talk to someone for a long period of time was emotionally draining for him, and he always ended up being awkward and going quiet at random points. He always ran away from long conversations—either that, or the other person got tired of him and stopped talking to him.
So it was rare. What was happening at that precise moment was really rare.
“So, yeah,” Hide said around a full mouth, waving his fork around, “this upperclassman of mine I was talking about, he’s really sassy? He’s literally so rude but like his way of insulting me is so well thought out? Like he must have a degree on creative swearing or something, or he just writes some insults down and then memorizes them to use them at the most fitting situation or something ‘cause that can’t be natural.”
“Ah yeah, I feel like I know someone like that too.”
The blond swallowed down his bite of cake and leaned forward , invading Kaneki’s personal space. He flinched back a bit, but he didn’t mind as much as he thought he would.
“Really? Dude, these kinda people are rare. Honestly, like—”
And Hide rambled on, gesturing widely. Kaneki listened to him, his crazy stories, and the dorky voices he made to impersonate another person or emphasize what he was saying. It was so entertaining, it was so endearing, and the black-haired boy couldn’t help but laugh at his jokes and even reply to him often.
That had been going on for hours. Kaneki was honestly surprised about how long their conversation had been going on and how much he had ended up talking. At first he had been nervous and they had started slowly, but Hide had insisted he wanted to get to know “the graffiti artist he admired so much”, so they had ended up talking about each other.
Hide regarded himself as a spontaneous life-enthusiast who liked liking things. He loved music and western culture, he read manga, and took walks on his free time. He studied political science at university and worked part-time at an accounting company. He had been born and raised in Tokyo, but he currently lived alone in a small apartment that—according to him—was simple but really cozy. He had also said that he really enjoyed food and petting animals.
Hide hadn’t told him any of this personally, but Kaneki had seen that Hide was bright, kind, cheerful, and really good with people. He was the kind of person Kaneki had tended to feel intimidated of, but he was so warm, welcoming and easy to talk to that he hadn’t had time to feel intimidated at all.
And surprisingly so, Kaneki had talked about himself as well. He had said that he lived with his aunt—without specific details about his situation—and that he had also been raised in the city. He had talked about how he worked the morning shift at Anteiku and did afternoon classes at university, and that’s when they had concluded that their schedules were just completely incompatible, and that was why they had never even bumped into eachother.
Kaneki had said he that loved books, and he had rambled a bit too much about them, but Hide had only reacted to his enthusiasm with delight and had joked said that being a bookworm fit him, also encouraging him to talk more. He had also asked about his graffiti and how he started painting, and had listened with patience to Kaneki’s poor attempts at explaining everything.
After talking about the heavy stuff, Hide had just taken lead of the conversation and rambled on and on about work and university-related things, giving Kaneki a break and still letting him in the conversation. The black-haired boy still felt like he had some explaining and apologizing to do, but he liked the light-heartedness of their current talk, so he decided to wait.
“—and then everyone started shooting fireworks at me! I was honestly freaking out so much, but this classmate of mine, you see, he laughs like a seal, so—”
Hide’s gibberish stopped abruptly when his head banged loudly against the table. Kaneki jumped in his seat and almost fell to the ground, startled by the sudden action and the loud noise. He stared at the other in awe until he saw that on top of the blond’s head there was a hand that was connected to an arm that was connected to a torso that was connected to a very familiar face.
“Nishio-senpai…” Kaneki started, not really knowing how to continue his sentence. He had just witnessed his coworker and upperclassman pushing his friend’s face down and making it bang against the table, so he really didn’t think there was an appropriate reaction to that kind of action.
“Hello~” the upperclassman spoke in a monotone tone.
Hide let out a muffled pained whine and brought his hands to the back of his head, trying to tear the other’s hand off his hair.
“It’s a surprise to see you here, Nagachika. Really, I’m so surprised,” Nishio observed, his voice coated with sarcasm as he rested more weight against the other’s head. “What a surprise! Today is a good day, isn’t it? Full of surprises and such.”
So they knew each other? Kaneki wondered where from.
“Nishi—” Hide started, but he was cut off again.
“Don’t you fucking say a word, you piece of substandard mediocre shit.” Kaneki flinched back at the older male’s words. He had heard his coworker be harsh with his vocabulary, but not to that extent. “I was wondering why you weren’t helping out at the committee today and why you hadn’t been answering your phone, so I had expected you to be sick or something.”
“I’m so so—”
“But! I come to work and see you here, chatting about stupid shit with my coworker as if it was nothing. You’ve got guts, Nagachika, you really do.”
Kaneki stared at the both of them, and tied knots.
“Wait, you’re on a committee together? Hide, do you go to Kamii?” he inquired.
Nishio rested his free hand on his hip and raised a questioning eyebrow at Kaneki.
“You guys don’t know eachother from Kamii?”
Kaneki shook his head and looked at Hide, who was struggling to set himself free from the other’s grip. He sorta pitied him for his position, but he didn’t think he could win against Nishio, so he didn’t even try to rescue his friend.
“No, I’ve got a completely different schedule and don’t really talk to people there…”
“Well,” said the older male, “I’m not surprised about that.” He took a grip of Hide’s hair and liftied his head up, bending down at his eye level too. “You, though. You’ve got some explaining to do.”
“I didn’t know you worked at a coffee shop. The uniform must be cute on you,” Hide blurted out before Nishiki clicked his teeth and literally headbutted him. Kaneki flinched back again, really startled.
“Why...” Hide groaned in pain, grabbing his own head and hunching forward.
“You were asking for it.”
“I wasn’t!”
“I’ll hit you again.”
“Guys…” Kaneki butted into the conversation, wanting the argument to stop.
They both turned to look at him at the same time, and Kaneki had the strange thought that even if they were seemingly very different in character, they fit really well together. They didn’t seem to get along, but the black-haired boy couldn’t help but think they looked really close.
“What are you smiling for? Creepy.”
“He’s not creepy!” Hide retorted, seemingly offended.
Nishio decided to ignore the blond and addressed Kaneki again.
“Won’t you be late to class though? You usually leave when my shift starts.”
Ah.
“I’m sorry.”
Hide waved his hand dismissively, but when he saw the artist looking at his feet while walking he gave him what he hoped was a comforting pat on the back.
“No need to be sorry, man.”
The black-haired boy stopped dead on his track, and Hide stopped as well, untill the other started walking after a few seconds. He followed his step.
“I mean,” Kaneki started, fiddling with the strap of his bag, “I’ve made you skip classes but now we’re parting early ‘cause I won’t skip mine.”
Hide sighed and threw an arm around Kaneki’s shoulders, pulling him close and making him walk right by his side. He checked the other’s face for any signs of discomfort, and he started talking when he didn’t find them.
“You didn’t make me skip anything, I did it on my own. Moreover, we’ve talked for hours anyway, so it’s okay,” Hide reassured him.
“Not only that though… I—” Kaneki gulped and hunched forward.
“Take your time.” Hide squeezed the other’s shoulder.
The artist nodded and leaned a bit closer to Hide. The blond patiently waited for him to collect his thoughts and put them into words.
“I’m sorry for… just, pushing you away. And disappearing for so long without saying anything.”
“Kaneki...”
“You waited so much. You’ve been so patient with me and I can’t thank you enough for not giving up on me. I’m just so sorry for all the bother I’ve caused you.”
Hide chuckled softly and shook his head, bringing Kaneki even closer and squeezing him against his own side. He wanted to tell him there was nothing to apologize for, but he knew his friend was seriously sorry and Hide didn’t want to invalidate his feelings.
“Apology accepted. It was honestly worth it, and I’m a very patient person, so it’s not as bad as it could’ve been.”
“Hide…” Kaneki said, and there was a noticeable tinge of sadness and disbelief in his voice.
Don’t call my name like that. Not with that tone.
“I had fun today!”
Kaneki blinked and looked at him as if he had just been awoken from a dream. The black-haired boy coughed and put some space in between them, his face reddening slightly. He didn’t seemed that used to physical contact after all, so Hide backed off and gave him his space.
“Me too,” Kaneki murmured.
“You know what?” Hide asked, looking at Kaneki as the other titled his head with a questioning look. “Well, this is kinda embarrassing, but I thought a lot about how’d it go, you know, meeting you in person.”
Kaneki giggled under his breath and Hide nudged his side with the elbow, laughing with him and telling him to shut up. He scratched his cheek before continuing.
“And like, I was determined to make this comfortable for the both of us, but it’s still been much more natural than what I had expected. I don’t know, I just feel like we’ve been friends for so long, and it’s not even been a day since we met.”
“Yeah,” Kaneki started, smiling softly, “yeah, I feel the same.”
“I’m really happy, Kaneki.”
“Yeah.”
“Hey, let’s hang out again soon. We should exchange numbers,” Hide suggested.
“Alright.” He beamed.
It had been around five minutes since Kaneki had parted with his friend—the thought of using that word to refer to Hide with no regrets was overwhelmingly satisfying—when he got a text. Puzzled, the boy fished for his phone in his bag still full of painting supplies. He took it out and looked at the screen, letting out a breathless gasp when he read Hide’s name on it.
From: Nagachika Hideyoshi
Subject: lonely already!!
hello yes im a big fan nice to meet u and seeya soon ( ˘ ³˘)♥