Chapter Text
He wouldn’t have to care. He wouldn’t have to feel.
George closed his eyes, knowing that it will all end soon.
That’s how he ended up here, disoriented and on the floor of his bathroom.
As his mind flashed back to the events leading up to the moment, George felt a surge of rage and sadness and guilt and all the awful feelings fill his body. His arms and legs began to shake, and he let out a weak cry as he curled into himself. Fucking pathetic. Tears began to spill from his eyes, and George began full out sobbing.
What the fuck was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he even kill himself right? Why? Why?
George slammed his head down onto the tiles in a vain attempt to ground himself. He could feel a wound opening, as blood seeped down onto the floor and wet his hair. Once his head was pounding with the pain, George dug his nails into his arms and pulled down hard. Deep scratches were left, blood blotting in their wake.
George’s breathing was unsteady. He was barely aware of the world around him. He was in so much pain. His heart squeezed, knowing that he’d have to confront the situation.
It was so fucking humiliating. His friends would mock and laugh at him- what kind of fucking loser lives through their own suicide attempt? Or even worse, they’d be disappointed. That was so, so much worse. To know that they cared for him. That George had let them down. He couldn’t do that- if Dream or Sapnap or Karl or anyone was disappointed in him, he couldn’t live. He would kill himself a million times over to avoid that.
With this spiral of thoughts heavy on his mind, George eventually calmed down. His breathing slowed, and the pain deep in his head and arms set in. Feeling more collected than when he initially woke up, he stood.
The world around George spun, but at least he was standing now.
Fuck, what was he even supposed to do now?
He hadn’t made a backup plan if he failed. He had no idea what it would’ve been.
Should he tell people? His friends? His family?
Should he be checking into a hospital?
The thought of any of it terrified George. He decided to think it over for a bit, but no less than a day. Meanwhile, he had to clean up his mess.
George busied himself by taking the glass and plate from last night, and cleaning them. He didn’t think during it, just mechanically cleaning.
George logged onto his computer, and deleted the scheduled tweet. He didn’t want it to accidentally publish and then worry people. The sick part of George still wanted to go through with finishing his plan, but in all honesty? He was just too tired.
Exhausted after only a couple actions, George walked into his room. He tucked himself into bed, and came to a conclusion. He was going to tell Dream and Sapnap.