Chapter Text
“Why shouldn’t I snap your neck right this instant?” Anya left her coffee cup on the small table and stood up, analyzing Clarke’s every movement.
“I didn’t do anything Anya. I was helping Lexa and—”
“Wrong answer!” Anya growled. “You lucky bitch are so privileged, that even if I killed you for trespassing on my property, I probably would end up in jail. That’s the only reason why I haven’t slapped your mother for humiliating my sister. Rich people, I am fed up with your kind.” Anya took another step towards Clarke. The blonde moved, trying to keep Anya at a distance.
“Anya I don’t know what went on between my mom and Lexa, but I swear my intentions were honest. She was very drunk and I—“
“You really don’t get it, do you Clarke?” Anya crossed her arms in front of her chest, and closed her eyes for a moment, gathering her thoughts. “Lexa gave everything up for you.”
“No she didn’t, she chose you, not me.” Clarke swallowed the painful memories, of the hurtful words that marked her forever. She was being a selfish moron too, but she was never going to admit that to Anya. Anya didn’t need any more reasons to hate her.
Anya face palmed, sighing. “You have no idea, do you? No wonder you’ve been acting like a spoiled hoe.”
“Okay enough with the insults! I’m lost here. What are you saying?” Clarke creased her brows, she was pretty sure they were talking about different things now.
“It is not for me to say. You want the truth? Speak with your rich bitch of a mother. Then you’ll understand that in the end it is you who’s not worthy of my sister. Now get your fancy ass out of my house!”
Clarke did as instructed, left the apartment and called a cab to get home, but not before texting Octavia that she was okay.
Clarke got home, her mother was still absent since she was working on the development of a medical facility sponsored by The Ark. She had been in Annapolis since last week, right after she spoke with Lexa, which was very suspicious, now more than ever since Anya told her whatever happened between her mom and Lexa was important. Clarke needed to know why her mother and her ex-girlfriend met. She went straight to her bedroom, removed her clothes that smelled of booze and reeked of desperation and took a quick shower. She texted her mother telling her they needed to speak as soon as she returned before slipping under the covers of her bed. She was missing Lexa’s warmth already. This bed felt too big for her alone; she preferred Lexa’s smaller bed a thousand times more.
Lexa Lexa Lexa Lexa was all Clarke had in her head. Lexa was instant arousal when she danced, and even though she danced with Luna, Clarke couldn’t stop herself from watching the sultry movements of her hips, the way she touched Luna. It was torture. And after sharing her bed last night she was more than aroused. Even though she couldn’t quite remember the exact point when she removed her clothes she assumed nothing happened, because:
- Lexa was a gentlewoman who always asked for consent first and,
- Lexa was extremely drunk and couldn’t even walk in a straight line yesterday, much less be coordinated to fingerfuck her properly.
But Clarke had wanted to. She turned on her music player and their song started to play. Yes, Clarke and Lexa had a song, the first song Lexa danced for Clarke on her birthday.
“Fuck this.” Clarke slid her hand inside her underwear feeling the pool of hot liquid already soaking her panties.
God forgive me please.
She closed her eyes and the song took her to that time in the private booth, where she was seated at her mercy. Her eyes lingered on the tan skin moving with so much sensuality that she could have melted right there.
I don’t wanna think about it now.
It had been so long, she needed this release but more than anything she needed Lexa between her legs.
_______________
Clarke never spoke about what happened that night with her friends, much less with Lexa. It was like that small moment of intimacy between the two never existed. Lexa kept focused on her own things while Clarke did the same. Clarke assumed that Lexa didn’t remember since she was so smashed that night, therefore she didn’t touch the topic either. But she wanted to remember so bad what occurred and how she ended up in her undies cuddled with the brunette. No matter how hard she tried everything was a blur. She did remember that she helped Lexa walk up the stairs, and then she gave water to hydrate the dancer. She knew she started to fall asleep while Lexa was laughing like crazy, and then black. Nothing.
Days flowed, moved at a steady pace, time unbeatable, and relentless. The two lovers avoided each other, walked away from one another, and ignored the calling of their souls. Nights covered their loneliness, enveloping them in sheets of solitude and hurt. She never felt so alone, not even Octavia, Raven or Wells could make Clarke feel differently.
She missed her smile, her voice, her scent, everything about Lexa Woods had become a part of Clarke, part of her soul but at the same time she hated her. How could Lexa be so cruel, so cold cutting her with words that annihilated her heart?
Finally her mother returned and after waiting for what felt like an eternity, she was going to find out what happened between Lexa and her mom.
It was breakfast time and Jackson had already served them pancakes with choco-chips and strawberries. Clarke waited until the maids and Jackson left them alone to ask the question that had been haunting her.
“You texted that you needed to speak with me.” Abby bit her pancake, trying to sound casual, but she knew where this was going.
“What happened between you and Lexa, mom? I want the truth.”
Abby left her fork on the plate and looked at Clarke, she hesitated. She looked away from Clarke, licked her lips, anticipating the huge conversation that was coming, debating whether to go around the bushes or say it. Abby cut to the chase. “She never took the money.”
Clarke was going to bite another piece of her pancake when she paused with the fork mid-air; she put the fork back on her plate, and looked at her mother in utter confusion. “What do you mean by that? She did, she told me herself!”
“Lexa never cashed the check, honey. She gave it back three weeks ago.”
Clarke stood up from the table “WHAT? She had that check for months and she never, she never…” Clarke was speechless.
Abby sighed, trying to come up with words that could fix the damage she had done. “I made a mistake, Clarke. I judged her and I’m sorry. I thought she wanted to take advantage of you; you’re my only daughter and I didn’t react well knowing Lexa’s background. Lexa had such a hard life and I didn’t want that for you. So I did what I thought was in your best interest.”
Abby took check from her pocket and left it on the table, Clarke took it and in horror saw that indeed, it was the check. “She didn’t cash 50k? What the hell is wrong with her? This could have helped her.”
“That’s what I thought, but she showed me how wrong I was. You were the most important part of the deal for her, not the money, Clarke. Lexa doesn’t believe she deserves you and I said things that made sure she truly believed that. In the end that girl only wanted for you to have a great life without hardships.”
Clarke sat again in defeat. “I was devastated by her betrayal and Lexa poured salt in the wound because she wants what’s best for me? What kind of bullshit is that?” And then she remembered Anya’s words.
“In the end it is you who’s not worthy of my sister.”
Clarke’s lips trembled, now everything Anya said made sense, Lexa gave up a stable life, a life free of debts and financial freedom because she cared for her. She gave up everything, she gave up her love. The tears streamed down her face, an ugly sob came out of her throat, her heart hurt knowing that all this time Lexa had been doing what she thought was the best for Clarke, freeing her of a life with a girl from the streets.
“Oh my god, what have I done?”
_____________
Clarke spent days thinking about what to do now. She couldn’t approach Lexa, they stopped talking to each other, particularly after what happened between them after the nightclub shenanigan. Clarke couldn’t even look Lexa in the eye after acting like a complete asshole for the past months. Clarke was clear that she had zero chill after Lexa did what she thought Lexa did. She couldn’t even give her space to breathe. But now, all those hurtful words, all the shitty things she said, Clarke felt terrible. She knew she had to talk to her and apologize for all her stupid behavior.
Finals were around the corner and she didn’t have the motivation to study either, not when she thought about reaching Lexa. Clarke played with her phone looking at her contact list. Reading the name Commander over and over again.
Would a phone call be okay? Maybe a text message.
Clarke growled in desperation and leaned over her book, she was frustrated. Lexa was still dating Luna and a message from her ex might not be appropriate either.
What to do what to do?
What Clarke did know was that she couldn’t study anymore. She packed her things and walked out of the library. Her friends were probably studying, it was better not to bother them right now.
Snow was filling the campus park, and the wind was chilly, Clarke zipped her coat and fixed her beanie over her blonde locks. She kept thinking about Lexa’s decision, it was actually all she could think about.
Lexa left her because in her head they were worlds apart, because Lexa couldn’t fit in this world where she was born and so she left her. Clarke wanted to scream at her, and ask how could she leave her? Betray her like that. But Clarke understood her reasons. She was a rich asshole and Lexa was working class. She was a selfish bitch, Lexa a selfless soul.
“It is you who’s not worthy of my sister.”
Clarke was starting to believe it.
The med student kept strolling around campus with no destination in mind, she just walked to where her legs took her. Her mind lost in thought for several minutes until she reached the parking lot. She had nothing else to do so she got in her car and stopped at a coffee shop to refill her thermos and buy cookies - Lexa’s favorites.
Stupid masochist. Get your shit together, Griffin.
She really liked these cookies nonetheless; back in her car she ate them while thinking about her troublesome life as a rich girl and the gorgeous stripper who ruined her.
Life offered Clarke an opportunity, a chance to talk with the brunette who had taught her so many things. If this was destiny telling her to face the one girl who betrayed her for her own good, Clarke couldn’t say no.
Clarke was driving through an intersection and when the green light changed to red the blonde stopped the car. She took her thermos filled with coffee and drank while she waited for the green light and that’s when she spotted Lexa out of the corner of her eye walking down the street. She was probably going back home in this snow. Clarke’s heart melted by all the struggles Lexa had to go through on a daily basis, she probably was out of money to pay a bus so she walked instead. Clarke rolled the passenger side window down.
“Lexa! Get in!” Clarke called peeking through the window.
Lexa turned to face her, the puffs of breath condensing in the air. “No thank you.” Lexa kept walking.
The light changed back to green and some cars honked at Clarke, she maneuvered the car and approached to the sidewalk. “Come on Lexa, let me take you home.” Clarke insisted, “it’s cold out there aaaaand I have peanut butter cookies and coffee.”
Lexa chuckled, “you’re bribing me with my fave cookies and coffee?”
“Yeah. Is it working?” Clarke smiled trying to put Lexa at ease.
Lexa affirmed with a nod.
Clarke pulled the car to a stop and opened the door, Lexa hopped in and buckled up. Once the brunette was inside, Clarke drove back into the traffic.
Clarke drove for several minutes in silence, allowing Lexa to relax, the tension between the two could be cut with a knife, so many things unsaid, lots of hurt and pain inflicted on each other over the past six months.
How time flew. She met Lexa ten months ago in the least expected place, a strip club. They shared a class during the first semester and Clarke had been so clueless until Lexa stripped for her and she almost had a heart attack. They have come a long way, and still, there was so much to learn from each other, so much to forgive.
“The thermos has plenty of coffee, there is a cup in the glove compartment. Cookies in the brown package.” Clarke pointed while her eyes remained on the road ahead.
Lexa opened the compartment and took out a small cup; she removed the cap of the thermos and poured a bit of coffee.
“Thanks.” Was all the green-eyed beauty said. She took a cookie while she drank the warm beverage and moaned. Lexa closed her eyes savoring the cookie, peanut butter was her addiction and her face was simply priceless. Clarke couldn’t help but smile, that sultry voice making her skin prickle but she kept her eyes focused ahead, not wanting to disrupt the moment.
The traffic was a bit heavy on this part of the road, and the girls were stuck. Clarke turned on the radio to muffle the eerie silence and try to make this as comfortable as possible.
Clarke changed the stations and left it when she found something more entertaining. ‘We Are Not Alone Here’ by of Verona was playing and Clarke had to roll her eyes at the irony, she was not alone right now, Lexa was in the passenger’s seat, but at the same time she was indeed alone.
Clarke sighed, she had to tackle their situation now or never. “You never used the money. Why?” It was not an accusation or judgment, she really wanted to hear why Lexa rejected the chance to start again.
“It wasn’t mine. I didn’t earn it.” Lexa responded, no anger or resentment either. “It was yours. After all you fulfilled your part of the bargain. You left me.” Clarke held the wheel with both hands scared she would try to touch Lexa.
Lexa took a deep breath. “Money means nothing to me, Clarke. But you...” Lexa hesitated; she was trying to find the words to convey her reasoning behind her actions without being all sappy. “I’m not giving excuses for my decision, for me it was the best outcome for both of us.”
The traffic started to flow once more, Clarke kept concentrated in driving Lexa to her home, trying to not blow up with these feelings she had inside.
“I get it, Lexa. I see where your choice comes from, it makes sense, and yet, my heart tells me differently.”
“Your heart is your weakness, Clarke. You let feelings interfere with your decisions, and that will cost you.” Lexa insisted. Damn, Lexa was unbelievably stubborn. Her belief system was one of survival, of making the best of the worst situations, and Lexa learned about sacrifice at a very young age. It was a concept ingrained in her mind and taking something for herself was selfish in Lexa’s mind. Anya raised a noble woman.
“Listening to your feelings can’t be wrong, Lexa. I know you feel for your family so much love, it gives you the strength to keep fighting and moving on. So why is it wrong to listen to your heart and do what it says for once!” Clarke’s tone was a bit aggressive.
Lexa glanced at Clarke, her eyes warmed at her, Lexa could never look back at Clarke and not feel the pull Clarke had on her, not feel her soul synching with the blonde’s. “Because it makes me weak. I can’t afford that!”
“I’m sorry, shouldn’t have raised my voice.” Clarke sighed; things were getting out of control. “I am so sorry for everything I said. I know it’s not much, and I get that I’ve been a spoiled brat with no clue how hard life is for you, but I’ll try to learn and be less of an asshat.” She finally apologized, it wasn’t like she planned it in her head, but at least she finally said the word that both of them needed.
“I’m at fault too, Clarke. I hurt you. We don’t choose where we’re born but I’m glad you have all the resources and things you need.”
“But I don’t have you.” Clarke cried.
Both remained silent again. It was becoming so hard to speak with each other without being hurtful. There were so many things Clarke needed to say, to make her understand, to make her see that relying on your feelings wasn’t that bad, but she bit her tongue and didn’t press the matter anymore. She asked another question instead.
“You think Wells is best for me?”
“Yes.” Lexa didn’t hesitate in her answer.
“Why?
Lexa had to swallow her pride, saying that someone else was best for Clarke was like stabbing herself in the heart. “He’s handsome, comes from a good family and he can take good care of you.”
“That’s crap. I can take care of myself and you know it. You’re hot as hell and you have a marvelous family even when your sister wants to snap my neck. Convince me otherwise, Lexa.”
Lexa had to contain the small smile forming in her lips, hearing those things made her believe again. “He has money and a good reputation.”
Clarke couldn’t refute those two aspects, Lexa has no money and her reputation is definitely not outstanding but Clarke gave a damn about those things, however Lexa cared.
“Okay you got me. But I don’t love him, he’s a good friend like Raven and O. In conclusion, he’s not the best for me. And Luna is a great nurse and person, she cares about her patients and yet, she’s not the best for you.”
Lexa didn’t say anything about that, Clarke could see Lexa’s walls building up again. She was shutting her out.
Clarke parked her car near the entrance of the small apartment. Both remained inside the car, not breaking the delicate balance at this moment.
Lexa licked her lips, before speaking again. “We ended things amicably. Me and Luna.” Lexa conceded after some time. She unbuckled the seatbelt, took one more cookie and got out of the car, she turned her eyes back to Clarke. “Thank you for the ride,” and shut the door faster than a bullet and went inside her home.
They aren’t dating anymore.
They are not dating.
NOT. DATING.
Clarke smiled and raised her fist in the air. She knew it was kind of shitty celebrating that her ex was not seeing a potential love interest anymore, but she was happy because she was back in the game. However she also was frustrated with Lexa’s reluctance to be together. She really wanted to make this stop, the beating of her heart when Lexa looked at her, the butterflies in her stomach when Lexa smiled, the way her throat dried when looking at Lexa’s skin, and her desperation to touch her again.
“I wish I could really hate you, it would make things so much easier.”
_____________
Clarke, Raven and Octavia were having dinner at the Griffin’s household to celebrate their vacations. Jackson prepared the dinner and the three girls sat to eat to their heart’s content.
Clarke was going to use the winter vacation to keep working at the clinic and also, she decided she was going to start helping her mother at the new facility in Annapolis. It was the only thing that probably was going to help her keep busy, now that Lexa was graduating. Clarke should be ecstatic since Lexa accomplished getting a degree in college. But she was sad simply because she wasn’t going to see her anymore.
“I’m serious, you two should come visit me in the big apple. What are you going to do stuck in the car shop during holidays, Raven?” Octavia drank her wine slowly, letting the beverage warm her.
“Maybe later, I have a business to manage as well, dummy.” Raven quirked her brow and ate her steak. “New Year might sound good though.”
“Great, what do you say Clarke, you coming with Raven for New Year’s?” Octavia stared at her friend waiting for an answer but Clarke was mentally absent.
Raven rolled her eyes and nudged the distracted blonde with her elbow. “Clarke, hello?”
“I eh, what?” Clarke asked lost in the topic of conversation.
“Hell. Clarke, I asked if you wanna come to my house for New Year’s.” Octavia propped her elbows on the table, her hands cupping her face.
“I don’t know, let me think about it.”
“Clarke why don’t you go to the club? Now that Indra is in charge they have changed a lot of things. They have awesome food and great dance shows in sexy clothes. Lincoln invited me to the re-opening and it was so much fun.”
“Yeah we definitely should go, ‘Grounders’ is the new name right?” Raven asked Octavia.
Octavia nodded. “Yes. What do you say Clarke?”
Clarke shook her head. “I really don’t want to cause more trouble so I rather stay here.”
“Okay fine, but if you’re going to be like this you should speak with her and be done with this.” Octavia finished her wine and left the glass on the table.
Raven nodded in agreement with Octavia. “Damn right girl, you can’t be in this perpetual state of a zombie. Or else we’re gonna have to intervene.”
“Hell no! You two stay away from Lexa and her family. I already have enough problems with Anya. Don’t make it worse.”
“Okay fine. You deal with this quickly cause we’re tired to see you looking and acting like shit.” Octavia advised.
“I want to O. If I could erase this feeling I would, but the heart wants what it wants.” Clarke finished her meal. “Now can we go and watch movies, please?”
Octavia was on the couch, Clarke was on the other spot with her legs over Octavia’s lap while Raven sat on the carpet below Octavia with her legs crossed. The three were watching a silly film trying to get some laughs and lighten the mood.
“For fuck’s sake Clarke! Leave the phone alone if you’re not going to text her.” Octavia threw some popcorn to Clarke who was barely paying attention to the movie.
“Shit, sorry.”
“Leave the princess alone, O. Don’t mind her, Clarke. Now if you really wanna get your chick back you gotta step up your game, Griffin.” Raven took a bite of a twizzler, smirking at Octavia.
“Oooooh now the expert in relationships, Miss Raven Reyes, will provide the latest tips on how to get your woman back.” Octavia threw popcorn at Raven who was smiling cheerfully.
“Yep, that’s me.” Raven winked at Clarke.
Clarke laughed, it was always a blessing to have her friends around when she needed them the most. “I’ll speak with Lexa tomorrow after her graduation ceremony, okay?”
___________
When the dean called Lexa Woods, her friends and the people from the now ‘Grounders’ bar made lots of noise. One of them did it, and that was so rewarding. Clarke was way back, wearing a hoodie to avoid calling anyone’s attention, she was clapping with excitement when Lexa walked up and picked up her diploma, what Lexa did was a good example of perseverance and iron will. Clarke was never going to figure out how hard this had been for Lexa. Clarke didn’t have to look at her bank account all the time to see if she got paid or if she was going to have money to pay the rent. She had at least seven zeroes waiting for her when she could access her trust, besides the million of dollars she already had. She could pay any place in this world to live and have food whenever she was hungry. Clarke couldn’t grasp the concept of necessity, but Lexa did.
Clarke had sworn that she was going to do everything in her power to help those in need. That’s the reason Clarke started working on a charity project with Mr. Marcus Kane a couple of weeks ago. The Jake Griffin Foundation was going to offer those kids in need education, and shelter. Clarke had been working so hard on this project, and even though it was in the early stages, she really hoped that at least she could spare some children what Lexa went through.
When the ceremony was over Clarke approached Lexa quickly while she was walking away with her family and friends. She intercepted the group of friends in the parking lot. Lexa stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the blonde in front of her.
“Hey Lexa, um congrats.” Clarke smiled awkwardly; she shoved her hands inside her pockets, trying to keep them from shaking so much.
“Hi Clarke.”
“Can we talk, please?” Clarke asked, she looked at Lexa, then at Anya who wasn’t excited at all to see her.
“Come on Anya, let’s go ahead and prepare the party.” Costia smiled kindly and pulled Anya with her, leaving the new graduate with her ex to chat in private. Costia winked at Lexa and walked away with the rest of the ‘Grounders’ crew.
Clarke and Lexa moved to the campus backyard, away from prying eyes to talk without interruptions of any kind. Lexa was so damn gorgeous tonight that Clarke felt her cheeks blush at light speed.
“What is it Clarke?” Lexa sat on a bench, her eyes resting on the blonde’s blue.
Clarke was standing in front of Lexa, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, and trying to come up with the right words to say.
“You’re pretty tonight.”
Shit, smooth Griffin. Way to start a very important conversation.
But she could see Lexa’s lips curve a bit, which was good, signaling that she was not annoying her. “I mean, I’ve been thinking a lot about us.” Clarke took deep breaths, she felt like a high schooler again.
“Me too.” Lexa glared at Clarke and her eyes were bright under the stars, it was a work of art.
“That’s good I think, but let me talk first.”
Lexa nodded, and Clarke began her speech. “I have come to figure out a lot of stuff. I acted so selfishly, trying to keep you away from your work because it didn’t suit my needs. I was jealous and cranky, and I acted like a 5 year old with you.” Clarke confessed, trying to be as honest as she could, she was baring her heart and soul right there. “It wasn’t fair to you. I kept living in my bubble and I wanted you with me, but I never considered your reality, your necessities and much less how tough it must have been for you.” Clarke lowered her head, she was ashamed of her awful behavior and finally was acknowledging it which made her feel like a weight lifted from her shoulders. “I agree with Anya, it is me who doesn’t deserve a girl like you.”
Lexa stood up and walked to where Clarke was standing, looking at her intently. “Since I first laid eyes on you I knew it was stupid to dream about it. I accepted that I was never going to get even close to you, but I did. We became close and one thing led to another, and the stripper fell in love with the rich girl. I couldn’t admit those feelings because it was scary how much you meant to me.” Lexa without even realizing started to trace Clarke’s face so softly and tenderly, with hands that could become the hardest fists. It was something that made her feel fuzzy inside, knowing that Lexa was only this soft with her.
“I deduced that this relationship was never going to last, not when there was a huge gap splitting us apart. Call it your mother, society, it doesn’t matter Clarke. We weren’t ready. Still we aren’t.”
“Yeah, way to find out, huh?” Clarke tried to say something lighter to ease the tense mood.
Lexa nodded affirming what was pretty obvious.
“That doesn’t change the fact that I still love you.” Clarke admitted, her cheeks turned pink embarrassed. “But you’re right. Not yet.”
Lexa nodded once more.
That was going to be the challenge for both of them. To find a place where they could be themselves, and fulfill their dreams without overstepping the boundaries of the other. To share a life where they could find the proper balance instead of struggling for control over the relationship. The silence extended for a couple more minutes, when Lexa spoke.
“Your mother came to the club.”
Clarke’s shot her eyebrows up. “She did what? Please tell me she didn’t disrespect anyone.”
“She apologized. To me and Anya.”
Clarke sighed in relief. “Thank God.”
“We’re on good terms. The girls and I even danced for her since we needed some feedback for our new show.”
“Wait, what?” Clarke was shocked.
Lexa chuckled. “She said it was very upbeat and sensuous and it had a very contemporary feel versus other exotic dancers, and that she couldn’t blame you for falling for me.”
Clarke laughed imagining her mom watching the girls dancing for her, which had to be so funny and awkward. “Woooah hold it right there. Versus other exotic dancers? Is my mom saying that... holy shit, I really didn’t need to know that.”
Lexa laughed, it was cute seeing Clarke having second-hand embarrassment. Lexa was beaming, and having Clarke here with her made her feel simply blissful. They could be friends, Lexa thought.
“Whatever, but mom is not wrong, you’re an amazing dancer Lexa. When you went to the nightclub I couldn’t stop watching you. You move like a pro.”
Lexa smiled warmly. “I’m sorry about that night too. I was being an idiot, I shouldn’t have drank at all and you had no obligation to take care of me.”
“It’s okay, I couldn’t leave you like that because I—” Clarke cleared her throat knowing that it wasn’t the time to say again how much she loved her, they needed time to heal and this wasn’t helping. “Because I care about you.” The blonde knew this was the best time to ask about waking up semi-naked, she couldn’t recall much after she passed out beside Lexa. “Um, do you remember what happened after I took you home? It’s kind of blurry for me and I only remember bits and pieces of that night.”
Lexa swallowed hard. Yes, she remembered every silly thing she did that night after she was set on winning Clarke at the nightclub. She couldn’t remember how she got into her bed or what happened with Luna, but every moment she spent with Clarke was still in her memory.
From the moment Clarke held her hair while she puked in the toilet to when Clarke kissed her goodnight at her home, and Lexa confessed she loved her in god knows what language. Even when Clarke asked her “weren’t you asleep?” and Lexa told her “I miss you.” Lexa spooned Clarke and the blonde replied with “I miss you too.” After Clarke had removed her clothes to sleep comfortably, Lexa kissed her shoulder blades. Lexa topped Clarke and a lot of kissing and touching happened after that, but that was pretty much it.
“Did we, you know, I don’t recall much but if we did it—“
“No, we just slept the drunkenness away.” Lexa explained not giving many details about the exchanged they had. It was better this way. Lexa already was on good terms with Clarke, it was better to keep all the craziness that occurred in their drunken state in her mind. If Clarke didn’t remember it was better not stir the pot with more feelings and confusion on her part. Start again was the plan, heal the wounds, and see what destiny brought to their plate.
“Oh.” The disappointment in Clarke’s voice was loud and clear. “I see.”
Clarke noticed that Costia came back to take Lexa back to her party. “Your bff is here. I guess you have to go to celebrate now. You totally deserve it Lexa. Congratulations.” Clarke bridged the gap between them and hugged Lexa. Giving her all her love and support in that one hug. Lexa hugged her back, her slender strong arms around Clarke’s waist pulling them much closer. Bathing in the warmth of one another, memorizing this feeling, the sensations this stirred in them, the familiar smells and shapes.
“May we meet again.” Lexa whispered. She took a step back, and with one last glance at Clarke she joined her friend and walked away.
Clarke stood there staring until Lexa and Costia disappeared from view. Watching the woman she loved walk away once more from her life.
“May we meet again…”
______________
Clarke loved Lexa, and Lexa had loved her.
Lexa was so closed off and it was hard to tell if she still harbored feelings for Clarke. And even if she still loved the blonde, they were part of two different worlds. How could they make this work when people were so quick to judge? Lexa’s past didn’t define her, she became a better woman for it, and yet people still pointed at her because of her past, because of her work. Clarke was respected and even admired in the elite circles of DC, but if they heard about her infamous entanglement they would turn their back on her. And still, Clarke had zero idea what Lexa’s life was like before she met her. She knew nothing about her except those tiny cracks of darkness that Lexa showed of her old self. Clarke needed to find a way to close the gap between them, and get closer to Lexa, but how? Clarke couldn’t care less about her status in the social circles of DC, but that was not going to be enough.
Clarke loved Lexa, and Lexa didn’t love her anymore.
Clarke grumbled something and sat on her bed, knees drawn to her chest. She had been trying to sleep but her head wouldn’t stop thinking about Lexa, all damn night. Sleep had been hard and now some light crept through the curtains of her room. Clarke took her phone from her night table to check the time.
“6:43 am” Clarke sighed. This was what she just needed, lack of sleep because her thoughts refused to shut down. They weren’t ready. That was true. How could the two of them find each other again when everything conspired against them? Maybe it was best to forget this chapter of her life and move on, just like Lexa did. Clarke scrolled to her picture files in her phone to delete her old pics of Lexa. If this was really over, it was better to delete the brunette from her life once and for all.
“What the...?” Clarke found some pictures that she didn’t remember taking. It was Lexa with the most dumb face she could think of and Clarke besides her doing a worse dumb face. Clearly they were drunk.
“I hod yu in, Klark.”
Clarke snapped her eyes open. She was remembering stuff - laughter, kisses, desire, love.
“I miss you.” Lexa was so drowsy and über drunk but her smile was everything. Lexa rolled on top of Clarke supporting her weight with her very strong arms on each side of Clarke’s head.
“I miss you too.” Clarke entangled her fingers in the chestnut curls falling in her face.
Lexa leaned down and kissed her, and Clarke opened her mouth to let Lexa in, but Lexa totally missed the mouth and she started laughing. “Stop moving so much Clarke.”
Clarke giggled, “I’m not!” This time Clarke pulled the nape of Lexa’s neck and kissed her plum lips. Lexa pulled apart and nibbled Clarke’s ear whispering “take this off, I want to feel you.”
Clarke smiled and removed her clothes, jumping back on the bed. They kept kissing for a while, bumping their noses and laughing at how hard was to kiss each other when both were so wasted. Lexa’s hand travel along the curve of Clarke’s generous hips making the blonde moan. Lexa smirked and kept kissing Clarke’s neck, while Clarke giggled because suddenly she was ticklish.
“Okay we need to sleep you dumbass.” Clarke pushed Lexa to keep her at a distance.
Lexa was smiling like she was in a total haze, it was seriously disconcerting when the brunette was most of the time serious. “Sleep like doing the do with you or sleep sleep?”
Clarke burst in laughter “Doing the do? Never thought I would hear you say it like that, but I mean sleep sleep.”
“Clarke I can find your vagina with my eyes closed. Look.” Lexa sat on her knees and closed her eyes and started to lean on Clarke, however her balance was pretty nonexistent at that moment and she actually fell off the bed.
Clarke cackled as soon as the THUD announced the landing. “Great job, commander.”
Lexa gave Clarke a thumb up, and pulling herself up she climbed back on the bed. “Sleep it is.” Lexa spooned Clarke and kissed her behind her neck and back before getting comfy, and finally went to sleep.
“Shit!” Clarke jumped out of the bed. She remembered that Lexa had told her she loved her, Lexa loved her. This couldn’t be over. Clarke shoved on her jeans and a t-shirt, she put on some sneakers, took her car keys and ran downstairs. She couldn’t give up, not when Lexa felt just like her. She could fight the whole world if Lexa was with her. But this time as her equal, Clarke was going to make things right. She had to find a way to make this work.
“Clarke? Are you okay?” Abby was having her breakfast when her daughter ran past the living room.
“I have to talk to her!” Clarke shouted, keeping her pace until she reached the parking lot and jumped in her car. She turned on the engine and drove as fast as possible.
By the time she reached Lexa’s apartment it was almost 8 am, she parked her car and run the stairs of the old apartment complex. When she reached Lexa’s floor, she headed to her door and knocked several times.
“Lexa! Please open up. I need to talk to you.” Clarke kept knocking, desperate.
“Anya! Lexa! Open up!”
But no one came. Clarke kept knocking like crazy, but still there was no response.
“For fuck’s sake shut the fuck up, will ya?” A teen girl peeked through her door. It was Anya’s neighbor.
“Hi, eh sorry about that kid. Do you know where Anya or Lexa are?”
The girl narrowed her eyes “Who the fuck wants to know?”
“Okay, you need to wash your mouth kid.”
“Look blondie, you’re too noisy it’s fucking Saturday morning so shut the fuck up and beat it.”
“It’s Clarke you little punk. Now, do you know where is Lexa or not?” Clarke got closer to the girl’s door, facing her with a stern face.
“It’s Tris you bitch, and she’s gone.” The teen was closing the door, but Clarke stopped Tris before she was gone.
“Gone where!?”
“The fuck I know? I’m not their nanny you psycho. Go away now Clarke. I need fucking sleep, and you’re annoying as fuck.” Tris shut the door leaving Clarke frozen in the hall, she was still processing what she just heard.
No no no no no fucking no. Someone has to know.
Clarke turned on her heel and ran down the stairs; she was going to the club to find out.
Or not.
“I knew it was your car. Not everyday a BMW 335i convertible parks in this neighborhood.”
“Costia.” Clarke’s mouth fell to the floor. “Where are they? You must know.”
“I think we should go for a ride, Clarke.”
Clarke drove for a long time following Costia’s instructions. When Clarke reached the exit of the freeway she took it, and kept driving until Costia instructed her to stop. Clarke reached the neighborhood of Arlandria, Alexandria.
“Um this is a slum, why are we here Costia?”
“This slum is where Lexa grew up.” Costia pointed at the old grey housing in front of them, “Anya and Lexa lived there.”
Clarke’s heart clenched to see the conditions in which they lived; the place was sad and decrepit. Clarke suspected that if they got out of the car they were going to get robbed or killed. “Why did we come here?”
“Because I need you to see with your own eyes how Lexa grew up. You won’t understand her place in this world if you don’t see for yourself, Clarke. Lexa experienced your world so now it is your turn to experience hers. Let’s go.”
Clarke hit the gas and drove away until they reached the school where Lexa and Costia met.
“That’s the gym.“ Costia showed the building to Clarke while walking near the high school. “I found her sneaking around after a fight. We became friends then.” Costia looked at the horizon, as if reminiscing about the past stirred things in her. “Lexa had a rough life, Clarke. I know it must been hard for you to form an idea of Lexa’s life, so I thought it was better to show you. Maybe you might note where does Lexa comes from. You were born with a silver spoon Clarke, Lexa was orphaned and raised by another wonderful girl in these conditions. You couldn’t see the struggle that Lexa had to endure to fit into your privileged life.”
“You’re right, I can’t imagine how difficult it was for her. But I see now.”
“Yes, and still it’s just a sample, a tiny window to her past. You never saw her at her lowest Clarke. There were days when she would get back home drenched in blood, smelling of booze and sex. Or when she was so high that she had no idea where she was. Lexa was angry with the world, but she saw hope and she fought for it.” Costia kept walking enjoying the place where she used to hang out with Lexa, remembering the old days. “She saw hope and believed in herself, so she pushed herself to become better, and I never thought she could get any gayer but then, she met you.” Costia giggled.
Clarke smiled, she remembered the first time she bumped Lexa in college. How angry she was. “Now it all makes sense. Thanks for opening my eyes.”
“You love the woman that she has become but can you love the girl she was? Lexa has suffered enough Clarke and you know that she doesn’t open up easily. She barely lets me in and I’m her best friend. You made her believe that she could be happy for once after all she went through. Stripping is just another layer of things she had to do to survive, she did what she had to, still keeping her integrity as much as she could. I can’t let you have her if you won’t treat her with respect.”
“I get it. I swear I do. I love her Costia. The girl and the woman, her past and her present. I wasn’t fair with her, and I’m ashamed.” Clarke lowered her head, she couldn’t see this place and not feel bad about her ignorance. “I learned a lot from her. I had such a narrow view of the world, but now I understand her situation better and that’s why I really wanna help. I’m establishing a charity and I’m going to need someone who knows best how to use my resources and put them to good use. Someone like you, Costia.”
Costia tilted her head, looking at Clarke with some bewilderment. “Me?”
“Yup. I think you’re perfect for that position, if you want it of course.” Clarke smiled sincerely.
“You do know I love Lexa, right? Why would you want me to work with you?” Costia still doubted Clarke’s offer.
“Yeah, I know and Lexa loves you back. I get the picture of how important you are to her.”
Costia sighed. “Yes, Lexa loves me as a friend. She didn’t want to risk our friendship back then and now you own her heart and soul. I accepted a while ago that nothing was going to happen beyond friendship, still hurts though.”
“Lexa doesn’t do it on purpose Costia. And I would love to be friends with you too. I mean, you brought me here to see Lexa’s past for myself. Because you want her to be happy and I swear I want her to be happy too.”
“True.” Costia faced Clarke, looking deeply into her eyes. “Prove to me that I’m not making a mistake here. I’m trusting you with my best friend’s heart.”
“I will make things right Costia, you have my word.”
Costia chuckled. “Alright then, I’ll hold you to your word.” Costia extended her hand and Clarke shook it in agreement.
“Oh boy, Anya would love to kick my ass so I guess you should take a number.” Clarke joked, she was feeling more at ease. She saw the world where Lexa grew up, and she was certain that they could find a middle ground where they could love each other as equals.
“So are you going to tell me where she is?” Clarke asked.
“I can’t, she doesn’t want you to know. Lexa needs to find her answers too, Clarke. Give it time.”
Clarke sighed. “Time? I miss her already.”
“And she misses you too, deeply. Trust me, Lexa only has eyes for you. Let her find her path and I promise you’ll find your way to her soon enough.”
“Okay then, I can be patient. Let’s go back to DC. I wanna talk to you about the Jake Griffin Foundation.”
____________
Christmas came in the blink of an eye, Clarke and friends enjoyed the holidays together until they departed to their respective hometowns. Clarke had heard nothing of Lexa and Costia was not saying anything regarding her friend, her lips shut. She only discussed with Clarke her ideas regarding the Jake Griffin Foundation, which were pretty great, and Clarke couldn’t be happier to have Costia on this project with her.
Clarke was finished meeting with Marcus Kane and Costia, it seemed that the Foundation was going to start running in the upcoming months if everything went according to plan. Her mother also was helping with the funding until she receives her trust money, which was going to be the main source of income to keep it running while they got more backers. Clarke was glad that at least this was working.
“Hey, that was a pretty good presentation Clarke. Mr. Kane was simply in awe of your proposal. You’re going to get more supporters soon enough, you’ll see.” Costia packed her bag ready to leave the meeting room.
Clarke smiled hopeful. “Yes, but his support for now is going to get us started which is what we need right now.”
Costia nodded. “This will be big, I can feel it Clarke.”
“I hope so too.” Clarke finished putting all her documents in a folder before going back home to her mother to celebrate with a Christmas dinner. And try to fix things. There were so many things they needed to discuss and it was hard to be away from her mother too. Tonight they were going to try to make amends for their mistakes.
Costia moved out of the conference room leaving Clarke alone to finish packing all the stuff she brought. Clarke was almost done when she noticed a gift left where Costia was seated a moment ago. “Hey Costia you left… something.” Costia was nowhere to be seen. Clarke approached the forgotten box to return it later when she read the name on the envelope on top.
Clarke Griffin.
She would recognize the handwriting anywhere in the world; it was her.
“Lexa.”
Clarke was dumbfounded; Costia had this and obviously left it on purpose for her to find. Clarke took the envelope and opened it, it was a letter, so the blonde took a seat and got comfortable.
Clarke,
I’m deeply sorry for leaving without a word after my graduation. I wasn’t capable of looking into your eyes and saying goodbye again. One time was enough for me. I get that you might be mad and with reason, but I needed to leave DC to find my place in the world, to prove to myself I‘m worth something. You inspire me because you care for people without reserve, and that is what makes you so special to me, Clarke. I learned that maybe love is not weakness, so I’ll try to rely on my heart more often. For now I need to keep growing, learning and be the woman I want to be, so I can earn the honor to stay at your side, if you still want me, of course. I bought a little something. I know it’s not much but to me it represents a promise to you. You don’t have to keep it though, I understand if you rather move on than wait for me. I know this is selfish on my part to tie you to someone who is far away and won’t be back for a while. However, if you keep it, know that I’m yours as you are mine, always. I’ll try to write when I can if you still want me to, just let Costia know. Yes, I’m a coward, I can’t dare listen to your voice or I won’t be able to do this. Whatever your decision is, I’ll respect it.
I bare my soul to you, my heart is in your hands. Ai hod you in, Clarke.
Merry Christmas,
Lexa
The ink of the letter started to blur from the tears falling on the white sheet of paper, Clarke was crying, sobbing uncontrollably.
“You’re an idiot! You remember!” Clarke said between sobs. Now she knew that Lexa knows what happened that infamous night when both were drunk as fuck. She put the letter back in the envelope and tore the giftwrap of the small box resting on the table. When she finally removed the paper she opened the black box to find the most beautiful Christmas gift ever.
“Oh my…”
____________
Days passed like a breeze, two lonely hearts beat with the same rhythm far away from each other, two souls split apart waiting, waiting, waiting. Two women occupy their thoughts with studies and work, busying their minds with things that didn’t hurt so much. Time was harsh with them, the absence of their other half painful yet hopeful. They weren’t ready. Not yet.
♪There’s something in the look you give♫
♪I can’t help myself I fall, I can’t help myself at all ♫
♪There’s something in your touch when we kiss ♫
♪I scream God forgive me please cause I want you on your knees ♫
♪But I don’t wanna think about it now ♫
♪I know I won’t get out if I fall in♫
♪So I don’t wanna think about it now ♫
♪It’s dark in my imagination, it’s dark in my imagination♫
Clarke peeled her eyes open after her alarm was blasting her ringtone.
“Shit.” The blonde sat in her bed and turned off her alarm. She rolled off the bed, and walked to the bathroom, and looked at her reflection in the mirror.
“Happy 23rd Birthday, Clarke.” The blonde said to the image looking back at her and hit the shower. She had a long day ahead of her.
Clarke put on jeans and a blue long sleeve shirt to go to the office of the Foundation in the Ark Medical Center in Annapolis. She had to discuss with the board the development of the art and dance school in Alexandria, VA, and then she had to go back to DC to continue her university classes. Med school was draining her along with the work at the Foundation but the results so far were amazing. The help that they were providing to the poorest communities was spreading little by little to more places.
Her phone bleeped and she picked it up on her way to the hotel parking lot.
“Hey asshole, yeah thanks.” Clarke opened the door of her car, sat comfortably and turned on the engine. “Yeah I have no plans. Wait, you two are here? Jesus O, you could have waited until I got back home to celebrate.” She changed the gear shift to D. “I hear you Raven, fiiiiiiiiine, tonight. I’ll be at the hospital so you two can drop by around 9 pm. Yeah, me too.” She put the phone away and drove to her office.
“Happy Birthday!” The staff said in unison and clapped to welcome their amazing boss.
“Thanks guys, keep up the great work.” Clarke smiled and walked to her office to meet none other than one of the most important members of the board of directors of the Foundation.
“Happy Birthday Clarke.”
“Thanks Costia.”
The two women shared a hug and a warm smile.
“I have a gift for you, hope you like it.” Costia offered a small envelope. Clarke took it gracefully and opened it.
“Woah, reservation for ‘Polis’? Are you kidding? That place is always packed. How did you do it?” Clarke was impressed.
“The Foundation has opened some doors for me. I heard that your wonderful squad is coming to celebrate so I made some calls.” Costia explained, eyes on Clarke, observing the tint of sadness in the blonde. “Hey cheer up Clarke, today is a day to be happy.”
Clarke sighed and offered a faint smile. “I know. It’s just that…” Clarke took a peek at the piece of jewelry in her possession resting between her breasts, “Should I still be wearing this? It’s been one year and three months Costia! I don’t know if I can do this anymore.”
“Is your love fading away, Clarke? I thought you would be stronger than that.” Costia smirked, her eyes daring Clarke.
“No, never said that. But that moron of your best friend hasn’t called or even texted me, she just writes those damn letters and it’s frustrating!” Clarke hit the table, she missed Lexa so much and she had committed to wait for her. Each of the letters that she received in the past months were brief but oh so romantic. Lexa was on the surface such a badass, but inside she was a complete softy as proven by her letters that were safely stored in Clarke’s bedroom back in DC. Her sexless life had been tough as well, pleasing herself wasn’t as good as being with the dancer who was doing god knows what in New York last she heard from her.
Costia laughed. “She misses you too. She doesn’t say it out loud but I know. Enjoy tonight with your friends, Clarke. Your broody commander will come back soon.”
“Ha! Very funny Costia. You’re enjoying this a lot, aren’t you.” Clarke sat on her desk and booted her laptop, she better go back to work or else she was going to become annoying and today was her birthday, she deserved to be blissful.
“Just a tiny bit. You two are so lovely it makes me sick though.” Costia smiled, and returned to her office to keep working on the Foundation’s newest project.
“Asshole!” Clarke smiled and got back to work.
When the clock hit 8 pm, Clarke’s concentration was stopped by the noise of two familiar but very welcomed voices.
“Motherfucker! Look at this office!” Raven was the first who entered the office.
Clarke stood up from her desk and went to meet her two best friends.
“Here we are birthday girl, ready to conquer all the nightclubs in Annapolis?” Octavia hugged Clarke.
“Yeah, just gimme a sec to shutdown my laptop, then we can go to my hotel so I can dress appropriately.”
“Perfect. We’re ready to roll then.” Raven smiled, her friend shoved her hands in her jeans pocket looking around. “So where is your frenemy?”
“You mean Costia? She’s doing a wonderful job, Raven, don’t be an ass.” Clarke scolded her friend while packing all her paperwork and devices.
“I’m tellin you O, Clarke is clever, she’s just keeping her friends close and her enemies closer, right?” Raven wiggled her eyebrows, Octavia just rolled her eyes.
“Raven, Costia is really nice. I’m serious; she has been amazing with the charity and she is great with back pain.”
“Oooooh so those hands had reached other places huh?” Octavia was grinning, teasing her friend.
Clarke chuckled. “Not like that, I think I told you she works as a physiotherapist at the hospital with my mom. And yes she has great hands.”
“In that case I’m gonna have to test if that is true or not.” Raven leaned on the door, arms crossed casually. “My leg has been bothering me a lot, you know?”
Raven suffered an accident while in California during the previous summer break, and her leg suffered the most damage. Her nerves had been affected and now she had to wear a brace in order to walk. Clarke had the scare of her life when Raven called and told them what happened. They have been as supportive as possible without making her feel bad or feeling pity. It had been a slow process but Raven was more at ease now with her situation.
“Yes, that’s a great idea. Costia is really good Raven, I’ll give you her number so you can make an appointment with her.” Clarke was already packed and ready to go.
“Perfect, now let’s go so we can start your birthday bash.” Octavia lead the way and the trio returned to Clarke’s hotel to get ready.
After some time the three girls were finally ready to go, the trio as usual ready to share some shenanigans as they always did. It was a clear night, the stars were out and shining, the space beyond beautiful and peaceful.
“Alright, where to bitches?” Octavia asked her two companions.
“Costia got us a reservation for ‘Polis’.” Clarke showed them the confirmation.
“Oh boy, this Costia girl is really something, huh?” Raven took a peek at the reservation info and nodded in approval.
“That restaurant is pretty famous and they say they have this amazing show. I was wondering if we were going to be able to eat there.” Octavia scratched her head, pretty surprised by how lucky they were.
“I told you she’s good, Raven.” Clarke took the ticket and put it inside her handbag again. “So we should be there fast or else we will be late.”
Octavia drove them to the restaurant, they left the car with the valet, and headed to the entrance.
The place had a modern style mixed with tribal art, it was like a fusion of old and new cultures. The lights offered a warm ambiance and the music was spot on. The tables were packed, and at the center a dance floor that offered amazing shows and dances. Clarke had been so busy that she never took a chance to come here, but now that she had the experience of visiting the restaurant she might come back.
The host smiled to the trio, welcoming them to ‘Polis’ and led them to their table near the stage where they could witness the amazing dances.
After eating and enjoying the dinner, the girls were discussing what they were going to do once they got back to DC.
“I say we stop at ‘Grounders’ and then watch a movie or something.” Octavia suggested, she was drinking a glass of red wine that was already half empty.
“Hmmm, I wonder why would we go to ‘Grounders’ eh?” Raven nudged Octavia.
The lights dimmed and several dancers appeared on the dance floor, all of them wearing suits and ties, each dancer with a tie of different color and a mask covering their faces. Their hairstyles were all buns, probably to keep the hair away from their faces.
The beat started, and two dancers began moving to the rhythm of ‘Te aviso, Te anuncio’ by Shakira dancing a very sensual tango at first, bodies moving slowly, determined and the two dancers split when pop started to blast from the speakers. Their styles fluid and their motions strong, fierce and for some reason the dancer with the red tie seemed familiar to Clarke. She was drinking her wine while paying attention to the dance, attracted to the movements, the sway of hips and the sensuality of the dance. Up and down, shaking shoulders, legs moving left and right.
“Woot that is hot!” Raven was moving to the music in her place.
“Yeah that thing they did with those chairs, pretty hot.” Octavia tapping her foot on the floor.
Clarke was eyeing the dancers, particularly the one with the red tie, there was something about those hips. The dancers finished their dance routine and the crowd gave a huge round of applause. The five dancers bowed to the audience.
“Miss Clarke Griffin, could you please walk to the dance floor? Our wonderful staff has a special birthday present for you” The host announced.
“Wait what?” Clarke suddenly got nervous and was pretty shocked by this.
“Ooooh hell yeah.” Octavia stood up and pulled her friend to the center of the stage. There was a chair in the middle and so Clarke sat down. “Have fun!” Octavia winked before running back to her table.
“Wait!” Clarke was blushing and so nervous.
All dancers were gone except the one with the red tie, who was walking towards Clarke slowly, pulling the tie and making it looser around her neck. Music started to play, the dancer started to sway her hips to the beat of ‘Lean On’ by Major Lazer feat. Mo, and then she removed her mask, and at the same time shaking her head to let loose brown curls. Green eyes on Clarke.
Clarke’s jaw dropped. “Lexa…”
The dancer smirked while moving now so close to Clarke that she was going to combust. She was swaying her hips in circles in front of Clarke, and she went down to the floor and back up so damn slow. Lexa removed her coat and threw it away, she turned her back to Clarke still swaying her hips while she unbuttoned her vest. She was still dancing so damn close to Clarke, however, to give space to the blonde who was blushing so hard the brunette started to walk around the chair while removing next the white shirt she was wearing, leaving the dancer in a black top that showed her arm tattoo and toned arms. Now that she was more comfortable, Lexa surrounded Clarke, moving her shoulders left and right, doing zig zags with her torso. She rolled and dropped to her knees approaching Clarke on all fours.
“Holy mother of—“ Clarke mumbled.
“Hell yeah Clarke get it guuurl!” Raven shouted from her table.
Lexa made a space between Clarke’s legs standing between her thighs, the friction between her hips was killing the blonde and then Lexa was on her lap, moving like a snake about to attack a prey.
Clarke grazed Lexa’s tights with her fingertips, but Lexa removed her hand tenderly. “No touching. Not yet.” The brunette whispered close to the shell of her ear.
“Oh for fuck’s sake!” Clarke protested.
Lexa dropped from Clarke’s lap and winked before turning around and then the other four dancers joined Lexa. Clarke could recognize Echo and Caris too in the group dancing with Lexa in unison in front of Clarke. The five girls moved with the beat, flowing with the bass of the song, their footwork was amazing, and then Lexa split again to move towards Clarke, doing a solo, her arms and legs moved with so much flow. Then she was seducing Clarke with her moves right in her face, sliding her hands over the black top until she reached her thighs. Eyes never leaving the blue of the birthday girl, and Lexa smiled sending butterflies to Clarke. Lexa rolled on the floor and then with a somersault was again in front of Clarke. Moving that booty in front of Clarke and grazing her on purpose. Clarke wanted to strangle the dancer but she was going to be patient. Watching Lexa dance for her was the best gift ever.
The music was over and the applause erupted, Lexa offered her hand to Clarke, the blonde took it, helping her up from the chair, then she dropped a kiss on Clarke’s cheek. “Happy Birthday, Clarke.”
“I hate you.” Clarke stated.
Lexa looked at Clarke’s neck, noticing the necklace she sent her, “no you don’t.” Lexa kissed the palm of Clarke’s hand and let it go. “See you in a bit.”
Clarke was blushing, how was it possible that Lexa was hotter than before? She sat back again at her table, and was met with a piece of cake and her two friends smiling like idiots.
“Did you know she was here?” Clarke sat and took a bite of her birthday cake.
“Nope, but it seems your frenemy did.” Raven was grinning.
“You looked like you almost choked in that chair.” Octavia laughed at her friend who was mortified and embarrassed. Clarke distracted herself with her birthday cake. She was enjoying the softness of the dessert until she saw the woman who was in her dreams every single night since she met her.
“Hey Clarke.”
“Well well well, I think we’re gonna pay the check.” Raven stood up from the table.
“There’s no need Raven. I already took care of that.”
“Oh okay, we don’t wanna be the third wheel so we’re leaving you two.” Octavia winked at Clarke.
“Yup, we’ll call you later. Have fun.” Raven waved goodbye and left the two girls alone.
“Lexa, there was no need to pay the check.” Clarke’s heart was beating fast, the physiological reactions of her body were amazing.
“It’s the least I could do. I’m sorry for being away for so long, Clarke. I had to do a lot of stuff to get things in order.” Lexa sat beside Clarke.
“And did you fix everything or are you just going to leave me again?” Clarke couldn’t throw herself at Lexa, not when her heart was on the line.
“No, not ever. Anya is managing things in New York, Indra in DC so I can now be full time here. I’m not going anywhere anymore Clarke.”
“Woah wait, slow down, what are you talking about?” Clarke tilted her head not getting what Anya and Indra had to do with this.
“I made a deal with Mr. Wallace and well, to make the story short I own this place. And I’m a shareholder of the other places too. I go to DC or NY when I’m needed now, I have established myself here.”
“That’s amazing! But wait, Costia knew you were here? Since when?” Clarke was really proud of Lexa, how far she had come after working so hard.
Lexa smiled. “Don’t be mad at her, I told her not to tell you until I was ready.”
“And now you are?” Clarke cocked her eyebrow looking at the brunette.
Lexa nodded solemnly. “Yes. I’m still me though, with a better apartment that is. I’ll never be rich or classy like you Clarke. And I understand that I asked too much of you and maybe—“
Clarke wasn’t going to let Lexa rethink their relationship, she wasn’t going to let her second-guess their love and so she kissed her. Tender, lovingly, but soon it was too hot and they had too many clothes on.
“Take me to your place. Now!”
The two women fumbled through the hall until Lexa reached her door, she opened the door and once the door was closed she had Clarke pinned against the wall, devouring her, desperate to leave her marks on the blonde.
“I missed you so much.” Clarke sighed. Lexa nibbled her ear, moving to her neck dropping a thousand kisses.
“I missed you too.” Lexa lifted Clarke. The blonde entangled her legs around Lexa’s waist while she took them to her bed.
Once Lexa bumped the edge of the bed, Clarke was on top removing her shirt and pants while Lexa simply drank her features. Clarke kissed Lexa back and the two rolled on the bed, kissing and touching and feeling each other, falling into each other with familiarity and easiness. Lexa removed her clothes and surrounded Clarke with her arms, caging her and then she feasted on her.
It was good to know that Lexa lived here alone, or else with her screams Clarke was sure that Anya was finally going to slit her throat.
Lexa held Clarke in her arms after the intense love making session they had, both glistening in sweat and controlling their breaths. Lexa played with Clarke’s hand absentmindedly.
“You have a necklace too!” Clarke saw the silver jewel resting on Lexa’s neck, it was a match to the gold one Lexa gave her.
“I told you, Clarke. I am yours. I never took it off so everyone knew to whom I belonged.”
“Damn right you’re mine, Lexa Woods.” Clarke smiled leaving kisses along the jaw of her gorgeous girl.
“You have to go back to DC tomorrow, right?” Lexa kept touching Clarke, sending shivers to her whole body. Clarke felt on fire.
“Yeah.”
“My life is here now Clarke. You still have to finish your career and I want nothing more than to see you become Dr. Griffin. But I promise I’ll travel to DC anytime you need me there.” Lexa kissed Clarke softly.
“I guess I’m going to end up working here in the Ark Medical Center in a few years huh? My mom is going to owe you big time.” Clarke chuckled.
Lexa smiled in that reserved way of hers, tracing Clarke’s hips with her hands. “Abby already knows, Clarke. I invited her to dinner last week. I spoke with her and I made clear my intentions with you.”
“What? Mom knew you were here?” Clarke pouted, but Lexa chuckled and kissed Clarke.
“Yes, I asked her not to ruin the surprise, and also she helped me to choose this.” Lexa rolled to the other side of the bed, and took out a small box from the night stand. “Clarke Griffin, once again I bare my soul to you.” Lexa kneeled on the bed opening the box. “Would you be my home? My friend? My love? My wife?”
Clarke teared up, pulled Lexa to her and kissed her, pouring all her love to this idiotic moron who was the cutest woman in the whole world. “Yes, Commander. I would love that.”
Lexa was beaming; she slid the gorgeous ring onto the blonde’s hand. “Thank you, for loving me Clarke.”
Clarke kissed Lexa over and over. “How can I not love you, Lexa? I have loved you since that first lap dance. You won me with your honesty and loyalty. I am the one who is still in awe that someone like you chose me.”
Lexa smiled. “I know that we had a rough start Clarke, that we hurt each other and we did regrettable things. I know I’m not the easiest person but I can assure you that I will fight for us, I’m not leaving you behind again.”
“I know. Now can my future wife make up for the lost time please?”
“Right away.” Lexa kissed Clarke, then she split for a second, “should I turn the lights off?”
“Nah, leave the lights on.”
- THE END -