Chapter Text
The stands are packed with UVA students but there are many pickets filled with people who have come from Radford University to support their lacrosse team in the final game of the league competition. When the UVA players come out, the crowd's cheers are deafening, but Peter's eyes waste no time finding Lara Jean, standing by the fence with Chris. His grin is splitting his face as he runs to her and picks her up with one arm for a hug and a kiss.
"You're here," he coos.
"Of course I'm here. What kind of a lousy date would I be if I didn't come see you play?" Her smile is shy but bright.
"Then I'll be scoring for you."
Chris looks at them with mocked disgust mixed with amusement. "God you two are corny!"
Peter laughs and turns to her. "Thank you for your support, Chrissy."
"Call me Chrissy again and you'll be carrying that stick somewhere other than your hand," Chris tells him, but a smile still forms her lips.
Peter grins at Chris and they exchange a nod of mutual understanding and respect. Their conversation the other day was excruciating, but it allowed him to absolve himself from things that had happened in the past and freed him from lingering inhibitions. So now he can be completely dedicated to this new beginning, with a woman he loves and friends he trusts to always tell him what he needs to hear even when it's unpleasant.
"KAVINSKY! GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!"
"RIGHT THERE, COACH!" Peter turns to Lara Jean again, one foot already on its way back towards the field. "You'll be here after?"
She nods. "Go give 'em hell, Captain."
He drops a quick kiss on her lips again before he runs off to join his teammates, who meet him with wolf whistles and raillery. In response, Peter turns towards Lara Jean to openly blow a kiss her way just to spite them.
The game starts and it's clear that everyone is giving it everything they got. Lara Jean still doesn't know much about lacrosse or the rules of the game, but she really enjoys watching Peter play. He looks completely different from the soft spoken man whose smile is so warm and whose touch is so gentle. She has seen his vulnerable and sensitive side when they are alone, but on the field, there is no question that he's in command of the entire arena. He gestures to his teammates and his instructions are carried out immediately. When he breaks the other team's defenses, he's unstoppable. His strides are confident and his aim is true. He only scores three of the six goals his team makes, but even Lara Jean could tell that two of the other goals wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for him.
After a win that qualifies them for the state championship, the whole team and their friends and fans go to celebrate at The Local. Lara Jean never imagined that she would fit so well in this company, but here she is, sandwiched between Peter and Jani. Chris sitting across from her between Trevor and Roy. They are surrounded by two of the team defenders, Simon and Luke, Luke's girlfriend, Cindy, her friend Clair, the goaly, Mat, and his boyfriend, Tony. They are playing a story telling game where each side of the table is a team. The first player on a team begins by saying "Once upon a time..." and completes the sentence and each player after that has to add one sentence to continue the story and have it make sense. The stories get more bizarre with each round as Cindy insists on including Deadpool in every line she adds while Trevor's sentences always depict some form of a fire even when the story is set in the deep sea. Soon, they are laughing so hard and have completely lost track of which story is told by which team as everyone just keeps adding lines to a story about Deadpool flying over Finland to hand out workout equipment to senior's homes that would combust spontaneously and burn everything around them.
The music shifts to a Latin tune and Peter and Roy look at each other with knowing grins and a matching challenging stare.
"We have to show them how it's done," Roy yells to Peter.
"They'll never know what hit 'em." Peter yells back.
Lara Jean is smiling, trying to decipher what Peter and Roy are communicating, but then Peter looks at her and says, "Come on, Covey. You're with me."
"With you where?" She's suddenly filled with dread as she makes an internal guess of what he's planing to do.
Peter takes her hand and practically drags her out of her seat while she's trying to convince him that she doesn't know how to dance.
When they reach the center of the small dance floor, Peter spins her around and brings her in front of him. Holding her left hand in his, he puts her right hand on his upper arm and plants his own on her back, right bellow her shoulder blade. "Just relax. You don't have to do much. Just keep your eyes on mine the whole time and don't think about what you're doing, OK?"
From the corner of her eyes, Lara Jean sees Roy taking the same stance with Jani just two feet away. Suddenly, she feels a hint of a push that prompts her left foot to take a step backward then swings back without being intentional about it. Right after, a similarly suggestive pull makes her right foot follow with a step forward this time, and then back again. The pattern repeats until she realizes that her steps are falling into a rhythm and she starts to get the hang of it. Then... things starts happening. Now, she is turning around with Peter's hand right above her head, guiding her. She finds herself switching places with him. They are turning around each other and a few times, Peter himself is stooping low, ducking under her arm and turning on his heels. For a brief moment, she even finds herself dancing with Roy instead before Peter is back in front of her, and instead of two couples dancing, they are a quartet in synchronized motion. Peter is constantly moving and moving her with him, switching hands and directions like the floor is empty, all the time keeping at least one hand on her body, never losing contact, and making sure that her eyes always go back to his.
When the song is over and they stop dancing, she's flushed and feels like she's walking on clouds; literally, actually, because she's suddenly dizzy from the constant spinning. Peter must have anticipated this because he keeps a firm hand on her, holding her still, until she feels the solid ground beneath her feet again. When they go back to their table, all their friends are cheering and wooping loudly as they hand them pitchers of water. Lara Jean drinks two full glasses in one go. She's sweaty and breathless, but the adrenaline pumping in her veins is making her laughter easy and high pitched. When Peter pulls her to sit across his lap, she doesn't hesitate; she even turns to him to kiss him, and not just a peck like she normally does when they're in public. The wolf-whistling eventually pulls them apart but Peter keeps looking at her, eyes ablaze with desire that can't be masked or mistaken, and that thrilling shiver runs down her spine again; the kind of shiver that no one before him had managed to induce in her so strongly.
Later, as they are walking to her apartment, Lara Jean's phone pings. When she picks it up, she sees that Chris has sent her a video of their dancing. She's practically gaping at her phone. She can't recognize the person turning and moving in sync with the music. She's graceful and rhythmic. And when did she get this swing in her hips? She looks... there's no other word to describe it; the person she's looking at on her screen is sexy. Lara Jean has never in her life moved that way. This must all be Peter's doing. His moves, while fluent and sensual, were controlled and calculated. She doesn't know how he managed to be so aware of their surroundings because with all the people around and the tiny space, they didn't bump into anyone once even though his eyes had never left her.
"How is this even possible? How can it look this good when I've never done anything like this before?"
Her astonishment makes Peter laugh. "It's all about knowing how to lead your partner. If you know what you're doing, every step comes naturally."
"Why didn't I get dizzy until afterwords?"
"Because you were so fascinated with my eyes you just couldn't look away," he teases, but she just looks confused, causing him to chuckle. "It works as an anchor. The way to keep your head straight is to fix your eyes on a single point you always come back to. It could be anything really, as long as it's always in the same spot relative to you. You can actually see how experienced someone is from where they choose to fix their gaze. Beginners usually choose something on eye level so I always wore a shirt with buttons because I learned that that was very helpful. The more comfortable with the steps you get, the closer that spot moves to your partner's face."
"OK! You have to tell me the story. How did you learn all this? I certainly don't remember any hint of it in school."
"Roy's big sister, Gabby, used to teach dance in this community center. Latin dances in general but mostly the Salsa. There's always a shortage of guys in these classes, so she got me, Roy and one of his cousins to fill in. Four or five hours every Saturday we didn't have a game. We did this all of freshman year and part of sophomore year until she got a job at a fancy studio and now only works with professional dancers."
She looks at him curiously.
"What? Is it really so hard to believe that I can be good at something other than lacrosse?" He actually sounds a little hurt.
"No, it's not that. It's just..." She hesitates before she continues. "Was Gen OK with that? She always seemed like the jealous type."
Peter's expression sours. "We fought about it a couple of times. But she had this stand-in thing every Saturday with her sorority that she never skipped and I didn't have much else to do. And to be completely honest, it felt really great to get out of campus and do something totally different and unexpected. Eventually, we reached an unspoken agreement that if I showed up on time to go to a party afterwards, she could live with it; specially if I didn't practice any of the steps where she could see."
This sounds incredibly stupid to Lara Jean. He obviously enjoys this a lot and is seriously good at it. What girl in the world wouldn't take full advantage of a boyfriend who can dance like that?
They are outside her apartment now but she really doesn't want the night to end. Since she started going out with Peter, Lara Jean has enjoyed the most passionate make out she had ever experienced; but now, her body is telling her that it's craving something more.
"You know, if you want, I have some room in there where you can show me your leading skills off the dance floor." She's not even blushing and her eyes are making it abundantly clear what she's suggesting.
Peter leans over her and pushes against the door frame. "Don't say it if you don't mean it, Covey. Because that would be mean." His voice is already husky.
Lara Jean shrugs. "Why don't you come in and see for yourself?" She then walks in, leaving the door wide open behind her.
It was intimate. It was intense. It was thrilling.
They are lying in bed, separated only by the thin fabric of his T-shirt on her body. Peter's arm around her shoulder, holding her to him while she rests her head on his chest. Suddenly, Lara Jean starts giggling.
Peter smiles. "What's so funny, Covey?"
"I just had sex with Peter Kavinsky. No one in our school would've seen that one coming."
He chuckles. "What about me? I just had sex with Lara Jean Covey. If 13 year old me knew this would happen, he would've died on the spot."
"Why?"
"I had such a huge crush on you back then."
"What?! No you didn't!"
"Of course I did. In class, during reading time, you had a habit of putting your hand right next to the book in front of you. I so badly wanted to put my hand over it and hold it while you kept on reading. Remember when I was sick this one time and you wrote me a get-well-note? I kept that note under my pillow for weeks. It was the last thing I read every night before I went to sleep."
"It was?"
"Uhmm. I was so mad when I came home one day and found out that Mom had thrown it away when she was cleaning my room. Why do you think I couldn't stop myself from kissing you after that party in John's basement? I was so happy when your ride was late and it was just the two of us left. I thought that that was my chance and I went for it. But then your ride arrived and you jumped out without saying anything. The next day, you didn't say or do anything either. Nor the day after that. Or the day after that... I was so sad because you didn't like me back. When Gen asked me to Spring Formal, I said yes because I thought if I went with her, maybe I'll stop being sad."
"Is this really true?"
"Uhmm." He's idly playing with her hair and drawing patterns on her arm. "Gen and I broke up several times, but the first time we did in junior year in high school, I toyed with the idea of asking you out, but you had already said no to every boy who asked you so I didn't. But I fantasized about where we would go on our first date."
"Yeah? Where would you have taken me?"
"There's this small Italian place called Cardona's. My mom took me and Own there when I made the lacrosse team to celebrate. It's probably not very special, but in the eyes of 14 year old me, it was the fanciest place I've been to. I thought if I picked up few shifts at the shop, I could afford to take you there for dinner. Afterwards, we would have ice cream from Shelly's and eat it while walking in the park. Then I noticed the weather was getting chilly, so I thought hot chocolate would probably be better; and I'd make sure to wear a big, warm scarf so I could wrap it around you when we're in the park so you won't get cold." He takes in a deep breath and blows it out. "Any way. Shortly after, I found out that John had asked you to the Dance and you'd said yes, and I realized I missed my chance. But it was a nice fantasy while it lasted. In hindsight, I should've taken this as a sign that the clock had run out on my relationship with Gen. That should've been the last time we broke up and stayed that way even if nothing could've happened between you and me."
She's quiet for a very long time that Peter thinks he had upset her by mentioning Gen.
"Lara Jean?"
She lifts her head to look at him but he can't decipher the expression on her face. She gives him a quick kiss and jumps off the bed with an "I'll be right back".
She comes back few minutes later with something in her hand. He sits up and she climbs onto the bed, perching across from him.
"After you kissed me at John Ambrose' party, I couldn't think of anything else. I think I developed an obsession with you. I knew Gen liked you, so I didn't say anything to anyone, but secretly, I was waiting for you to ask me to Spring Formal, or even to just acknowledge what happened between us, but you never did. Then Gen told me that you were taking her to the Dance as your date. I was heart broken, and so mad at myself for believing that you actually liked me. I tried so hard to stop my feelings for you but I couldn't, and every time I saw you with Gen, I wished you never kissed me. Finally, when I couldn't take it any more, I did the one thing I could come up with to purge myself of those feelings. I took out my stationary and I wrote you a letter." With the last word, she stretches out her hand, holding an envelope, towards him.
He just stares at it. When he finally speaks, his voice is shaky. "You... you wrote me a letter? After I kissed you? This letter?"
She nods.
He swallows audibly, still staring at the piece of paper. "After you told me about the letters, I often wondered if you had written one for me but was too afraid to ask. Now I'm too afraid to read it."
She tilts her head in confusion. "Why?"
"What if... What if I find out how much of a... of a disappointment I was?... or am?" It's a difficult confession for him to make and he struggles to get the words out, but he feels that he owes it to her.
She takes his face in her hands and makes him look her in the eyes. "Peter Kavinsky, you are not and will never be a disappointment even if you tried. You don't have to take it or read it, but it's yours if you want it." Then she scrunches her face saying, "But.. you should know that I was angry when I wrote it," and he chuckles.
Eventually, he nods and takes the letter. Handling it very delicately, careful not to tear any edges, he takes it out and starts reading. When he's done, he presses his lips on hers and hugs her, holding her very tight.
"I'm so sorry for not saying anything back then. I'm such a stupid cowered. I'm really really sorry." His tone is frantic and full of regret.
"Hey hey. It's OK." She touches his face again to calm him down. "It was a long time ago. We were kids, we didn't know any better. We're here now."
"I know. But I hate thinking about having wasted all those years when we could've been together."
"I don't, actually. I wish I could say that I would've said yes if you had asked me out in high school, but the truth is that I don't think that I would have. And if we had gotten together in middle school, maybe we would've grown apart, and I like that idea less than the idea of having missed our chance then. But now that we've grown up and matured? Now we have a real chance. And I'm very excited about that. Aren't you?"
His emotions are overwhelming him. She always knows exactly what to say to calm him down; to sooth his frenzied mind. And to think that he wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for a series of random events, not all of them good, that brought her back into his life. That thought scares him and makes him not want to waste any more time not telling her exactly how he feels.
"I don't want to scare you, but I want you to know that I... I'm in love with you, Lara Jean. I know it's too early, but I've actually known that long before our first date. You don't have to say it back. I don't expect you to feel it yet and I promise I'll never mention it again if it makes you feel uncomfortable. But I just want you to know where I am; and where you'll always have me whether you'll ever get there or not."
She smiles at him, her eyes sparkling with joy. "I don't think it's too early. I realized it when I accidentally told you so weeks ago. I'm in love with you too, Peter."