Chapter Text
“Hello William.” Carmilla says as she enters Take Out Movies with a smile on her face and some pep in her step.
“Heya Kitty. Here to get some more movies for you and your new girlfriend?” He responds.
“Not my girlfriend but I am here for movies.” She throws some candy up onto the counter (skittles for her, m&m’s for Laura) before heading towards the slasher film section of the shop. Carmilla grabs a few B-movies and walks back to the counter.
“You’ve certainly been getting close to this girl. I mean, you stayed at her place almost every night this week. ”
“She’s cool. I mean she’s a major dweeb but she’s sweet and genuine. She lets me be a mess over Elle while she’s a mess for Danny.” Will gives her another questioning look, “Danny’s her ex.”
“Oh so she’s straight?”
“Well, Danny’s a chick so no. She’s also a cunt.” Will smirks to himself like he knows some big secret. Carmilla merely rolls her eyes before he swipes her card. “Try not to have too much fun tonight. The gas station next door sells dental dams if you need any.”
“Ew shut up. I’m a lady.” She responds with mock grace, “See ya later, nerd.”
The bike ride to Laura’s house is about 15 minutes long but it’s mostly downhill. Carmilla glides through dirty neighborhoods that remind her of the childhood she lost. She smiles oddly enough. After 22 years of being angry she’s finally begun to let go. Her mind wanders to all the fucked up things she lived through. Every guy (and occasionally girl) sliding in and out of her mother’s bedroom. Every slap across the face from drunken boyfriends. The suicide attempts. The self-hatred. The cold. The cold. The cold.
As these images run through her head and she races down the largest hill of the whole route, she feels like she’s flying. In this moment she feels free. No broken mothers, no cheating girlfriends. Only her.
She rounds the corner to Laura’s apartment and jumps off her bike. She drags it up the stairs and locks it onto the radiator before heading up to room 2b. Before she can even knock the door flings open and a tiny, hyper blonde tackles her in a bear hug.
“I saw you out the window. You looked so cute with your little smile and windblown hair.”
“Excuse you? I’m always cute.” Carmilla replies pushing her off and heading into the apartment.
“True. As long as by cute you mean aggravating.” The raven haired girl shoots her a death glare which makes Laura break out into laughter. Carmilla loves this. All of the tension of life dissipates as she jokes with Laura. All of the pain she spends her time avoiding is forgotten by now.
Carmilla helps herself to Laura’s fridge and pulls out some leftovers from the last time she was here. “Well aren’t we domestic? Just walking in and taking my food like you live here.”
“Yea well I bought it so I might as well eat it.” She smirks before adding, “Besides, you’re basically my wife.”
“Wouldn’t we have to have sex for that?” Laura responds. Carmilla smiles to herself, “No married people never fuck. They’re too busy watching Grey’s Anatomy.”
“Ah well in that case, I am one lucky woman. My wife is bangin.”
The taller girl breaks out into laughter, “Did you really just call me bangin?” Laura laughs and hides her face in her hands. She turns on her heel then heads out of the room with Carmilla following behind.
“Ah what you can’t look at your ‘bangin’ wife with my ‘bangin’ bod?” She taunts.
“Oh my god shut up!” The raven haired girl walks closer and wraps her arms around Laura from behind, “I can’t help that I’m so sexy and sultry.”
“I never said that!”
“You’re right. You just said I’m thicker than a bowl of oatmeal.” Her voice is so nonchalant it completely hides the fluttering in her gut.
Laura falls onto the couch covering her face with a pillow, “I dun een know what dat means.” She mumbles out.
Carmilla grabs the pillow from her face and smirks, “It’s the new age equivalent to bangin. The youth are really getting creative with their compliments.”
“Are you ever gonna let this go?” The blonde sighs and rolls her eyes.
“For now we will. But only because I brought movies.”
Laura squeals and sits up excitedly. The taller girl puts the movie in, skips the trailers, and presses play before sitting down next to her friend.
About 10 minutes into the movie Laura lets out a sigh. Then another. Then another louder sigh that’s been drawn out and definitely asking for attention. “You alright there, cutie?”
Laura shifts uncomfortably, “Yea, I’m fine.”
“Good.”
A minute or so later another sigh leaves the short blonde’s lips, “Okay. What’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing.” Pause, “I kind of need you to meet my friends.”
“No way.” Laura pouts and Carmilla rolls her eyes, “I’m not exactly the social type.”
“Okay then who was that Carmilla Karnstein that showed up at a stranger’s house and now is their best friend?” the short blonde raises her eyebrows.
“That was accidental. Besides, why do I have to meet your friends? It isn’t like we’re dating or anything.” She says as a strange feeling settles in her gut.
“True, but Perry and Laf can be pretty protective. Mostly Perry. I probably shouldn’t have told her you showed up to kill me but instead ended up getting inebriated and crashing on my couch. Wasn’t exactly the best introduction.” She cringes as the pale girl glares at her.
Carmilla contemplates this for a minute. She’s never been one to openly make friends. To be honest she’s not very trusting of strangers. But this is for Laura and if Laura trusts them then she assumes they must be alright. But then again… she did allow a dead beat thug into her apartment with just about no questions asked.
She sighs, “Fine cupcake, but if they expect me to be all warm and fuzzy then they should probably lower those expectations.”
“Yay! Thank you!” Laura practically tackles Carmilla, wrapping her arms around her tightly before pressing a small kiss to her cheek.
Carmilla cringes internally. Warm and fuzzy. Shit.
The rest of the night is a blur. The raven haired girl is too lost in the thought of what this means. She is lost in the feeling of leaving her comfort zone for a girl. Again. This is different though, she tells herself, It’s Laura.
She repeats this to herself until she believes it. She doesn’t.
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“Big day today, Kitty.” Will says as he skims through another magazine he’s already read a million times, “Meeting the friends. Honestly, with this generation it’s an even bigger deal than meeting the parents.”
“It’s not that big of a deal.” Carmilla snarls.
“Well it is Laura we’re talking about. I haven’t met her but from what you’ve told me she seems pretty invested in the people she meets.” She can feel the smirk on his face peering into her head, “It’s gotta be a big deal to her.”
“It’s not.” The girl with jet black hair and a face now flushed red spins around and shoots daggers into Will, “It’s just dinner. They’re just her friends.”
“Sure thing Kitty Cat. Whatever helps you sleep at night.” He drops the magazine before heading over to put away returned DVD’s. Carmilla rests her head on the counter and takes a deep breath. Her lungs are rattling in her chest. As she takes in another shaky, long breath the door opens accompanied by the jingling of those annoying welcoming bells.
“Carmilla?” A familiar voice fills the room as Carmilla lifts her head, “Are you okay?”
“Sure am, Cupcake.” Her voice is flat which does not go unnoticed by Laura. She decides to wait to ask about it though and instead settles for pulling the girl into a warm hug.
“Is there a reason why I’m being smothered.”
“You’re not being smothered, shut up. It’s called affection.” The short blonde says as she snuggles her face into the taller woman’s side.
“They’re roughly the same thing depending on who’s giving you this “affection” as you call it.” Carmilla throws up some air quotes. Laura takes note to ask her about that comment later as well.
“Anyways, we’ve got places to be so if you would…” She gestures to the door before turning on her heel to open it.
“I didn’t realize you were such a gentlewoman.” She smiles, “Will! I’m leaving. Don’t die or anything. Love you or whatever.”
“Aw I love you too!” Will walks to the front, “Make sure to have her home before January and to use protection. Also nice to meet you.” Laura blushes and laughs awkwardly. Carmilla groans before she childishly knocks over the snack stand and heads quickly out of the store.
“Carm, wait!”
Will raises his eyebrows as he begins to clean up snacks and makes a note of his own to make fun of “Carm” and her new nickname later.
Carmilla starts to unlock her bike from the bike rack when Laura says, “We’re actually gonna drive if that’s alright.” Carmilla glares into Laura’s eyes as she dramatically clicks the lock back into place. “It’s just easier and we’re already running late.”
“We’re nearly 40 minutes early.” She responds.
“Well if you’re early, you’re on time…”
“Stop talking, creampuff.” The raven haired girl climbs in the car and slams the door. Laura cringes a little and wonders if maybe she should ask her if she’s okay. Carmilla doesn’t really seem like the type to talk about her feelings but maybe it was worth a shot. But instead she decides to drop it, at least for now, as she gets into the driver’s seat.
They head off to the restaurant that Laura’s friend Kirsch owns. Carmilla is unusually quiet, just tapping her fingers on her knee almost anxiously. You may not have guessed but Carmilla is not one for social interaction. She glances over to Laura who catches her eye and shoots her a reassuring smile. The blondie looks cute today. She has some sort of blue dress on with a braided belt around her waist. Carmilla looks down at her own outfit and cringes. She suddenly feels underdressed even with Laura looking completely casual next to her.
She’s wearing a Joyce Manor t-shirt with a black cardigan over it and some dirty jeans she found on her floor. They were the only ones she had left that weren’t covered in stains. And then she finds one (looks like ketchup/blood??) And then the self-esteem starts to crumble which makes her kind of trembly but she settles her hands on her knee and takes in a deep breath, hoping Laura won’t notice. She does.
“Alright, I know you don’t really like talking and stuff but you seem a little…off? Are you okay? I’m really not trying to pry or anything. It’s just that you’re my friend, maybe even my best friend which sounds clingy kind of and I hope that doesn’t like, freak you out or anything but it’s kind of true since Laf has Perry and Kirsch has Danny and Danny never really had me so now I kinda think I have you… but not like that or anything…I’m rambling.” Carmilla smirks as she stares down at her lap, “I just want you to feel comfortable telling me how you feel.” Laura lets out a sigh.
Carmilla is trying not to smile because she’s never been anyone’s best friend before. Most of her friends were just people she got high with but then again most of them ended up sleeping with her girlfriend.
So she decides to trust her.
“I’m just nervous. I don’t really know how to interact with people.”
“You interact with me just fine.” Laura responds.
“Well, yea, but you’re easy to talk to. You have the cute, innocent thing that kinda makes people feel safe or whatever.”
“What about when we met?”
“Intimidating people is easy, impressing them is…harder.”
Laura laughs and Carmilla shoots her a death glare. She only shakes her head, “I’m not laughing at you. But seriously my friends are the dorkiest little nerds I’ve ever met. You’ll impress them just fine.”
“Laura,” The mention of her name rather than a cutesy nickname grabs her attention, “I’m not like you and your friends. I’m all…dark and twisty and just generally fucked up.”
“Hey,” The tiny girl takes one hand of the wheel and holds onto Carmilla’s, “You’re not broken or anything. Bent? Maybe. But that’s nothing you and I, if you’d let me, can’t work on.” Her thumb glides over the pale girls hand and soothes her.
Carmilla smiles despite herself as she looks out the window. Laura is a very safe driver and likes to keep her hands on the wheel at all times. But for the rest of the drive, she has her fingers intertwined with Carmilla’s. And she feels fine.
The restaurant is not one Carmilla would pick on her own and honestly it doesn’t look like one she’d expect Laura to visit either. A large red sign reading, “Wilson’s Bar and Grill” in big cursive letters welcomes them to a sports memorabilia bar.
“Wilson is my friend but no one calls him that since it was also his dad’s name. He passed awhile ago so now we just stick to Kirsch.” Laura explains. The older girl only nods and holds the door open for her which earns her a giggle and a comment about how even scene kids can be chivalrous. Carmilla groans but smiles to herself as they head in.
They approach a table where two redheads sit chatting almost neurotically to each other. The long haired one saw the girls as the got closer and stood to greet them. She pulled Laura in for a hug and stuck her hand out to Carmilla, “I’m Lola Perry but more often than sometimes I’m referred to solely as Perry. Laura has told us so much about.” She stutters as she adds, “All good things I’ll have you know.” She smiles and adjusts her shirt before looking back to the other redhead still seated with a goofy smile on their face.
Perry clears her voice, “Lafontaine.” She motions towards Carmilla.
“Oh! Yea, right. I’m Lafontaine.”
“They go by they/them pronouns. They’re non binary.” Perry responds proudly. Lafontaine simply smiles brightly and turns to Laura, “Does this one talk at all.” They half whisper. Perry, now seated, kicks them under the table and smiles.
“Yea, Sorry. I’m Carmilla. I’m not really used to this sort of thing. If I’m honest the first real friend I’ve had in a while is Laura.” She stares down into her lap before looking up to find all three of them smiling brightly.
“Any idea when Kirsch is gonna join us?” Laura asks.
“He’s working tonight so he’ll be popping in and out. The upside is free appetizers.” Perry claps giddily before motioning to the plate of cheese fries and onions rings in front of her.
“I don’t mind if I do!” Laura says as she pops a fry in her mouth with a smile, “Laf, how’s that project going?”
“It could be better.” Perry huffs and Laf continues, “There may or may not have been a small fire.”
They continue talking for awhile and although Carmilla mostly keeps quiet, she finds herself enjoying the company of the redheaded duo and Laura. Soon a lanky, dudebro in a baseball jersey stop sby and introduces himself as Kirsch. He makes a remark about Carmilla being “a real hottie” but quickly apologizes after Laura sends him a sickeningly cute death glare.
“Sounds like Laura wants to be the only one calling Carm a hottie.” Lafontaine jokes with a smirk. Carmilla laughs as Laura sputters out, “No I was just standing up for women and to make sure she wasn’t being objectified not that she isn’t objectifiable or whatever but it’s wrong to gawk and…uh… Kirsch where are those beers again?” Lafontaine laughs under their breath before getting a silent scolding by Perry for being mean. Carmilla chimes in with a, “Well I’m glad you find me to be so objectifiable, Cupcake.” She adds a wink for a good measure which further flusters the poor blonde and sends Lafontaine into a fit of laughter.
The rest of the night goes smoothly. Laf and Carmilla fall into an easy pattern of picking on Laura and each other. Perry and Laura are both surprised to find out Carmilla is a knitter (“Gotta keep my hands nimble.”)And even Kirsch finds a common ground with the girl when she mentions watching the Women’s World Cup. By the end of the night, both Laura and Carmilla have decided the dinner was a success.
“I’m really glad we got to meet you Carm.”
“So I guess that nickname’s gonna stick.” Laf nods their head with a smile, “Well I guess there are worse things to be. I’m glad I met you both as well.”
“We hope to see you again! And maybe we could exchange some patterns. I found one for a sweater with animal ears and-“
“Alright Perr, they’ve probably got places to be. We can’t be here all night talking about cross stitches or whatever.” Perry swats them on the shoulder but says goodbye again. She hugs them both, leaving a kiss on Laura’s cheek before heading off. Lafontaine throws a wave over their shoulder and follows after.
“Soooo?” Laura presses as they climb back into her car.
“What?”
“How’d you like them?” a grin spreads out over Laura’s face that is so cute Carmilla can’t help but smile back, “I think they really liked you. I was nervous Perry would think you’re too mysterious and broody and therefore dangerous but as soon as she found out you were actually a huge nerd I think she fell in love.” Carmilla continues to smile at her in silence, “I don’t mean that being mysterious or broody is a bad thing, it actually works for you very well it’s that sometimes Perry is very protective and sketchy people worry her…not that you’re sketchy! It’s just- um why are you not talking?”
“You’re cute when you ramble.”
“I’m not cute, I’m ferocious.” Carmilla laughs out loud which earns her a playful smack on the arm.
“Honestly Cupcake, I thought they were great. Even the giant puppy is growing on me.” Laura smiles and turns her eyes back to the road. They drive in a comfortable silence. The kind of silence you could write poems about. Where you feel like you found a place to belong and there’s a cute girl near you and you’re starting to notice just how cute she really is and it’s exciting and terrifying but you want to have this.
“I just want you to know I’m really proud of you.” Laura says, ending the poem she didn’t know was being written, “I’m a stranger still and you could’ve said no but you didn’t. And even with your fear trying to psych you out, you still showed up with me and well…I’m just really proud of you.”
Carmilla didn’t hear that very often. “Thank you.” She half whispered, staring at the living, breathing poetry she sat next to. She slowly reached her hand up to the steering wheel where Laura’s hands sat at 10 and 2. The younger girl looked at her quizzically before Carmilla softly pulled one hand into her own. Laura only smiled and turned back to the road, Carmilla’s thumb gliding over hers.
Neither one let go the whole drive home. Carmilla tried to give Laura her hand back when she noticed her struggling to make a left hand turn but the persistent woman only held on tighter.
“It’s kind of late. You should probably just stay here.” Laura says as they pull up at her apartment.
“Wow Creampuff, you’re a real charmer. Taking me out to dinner and showering me with compliments before inviting me to stay the night. Pretty slick.”
“I’m not the one who reached out for your hand and held it all the way home.”
“True but you are the one who enjoyed it.” Carmilla deadpans.
“Are you saying you didn’t?”
“I’m saying I might’ve enjoyed it a bit more than I should.”
Laura meets her eyes and holds her gaze, “Yeah…me too.” She says softly. Carmilla smiles, looking down into her lap but Laura pulls her chin back to face her. They stay like that for what felt like years, Laura’s hand grazing her cheek, Carmilla looking for some sort of sign not to do this. She doesn’t find one.
“I want to try something.” Carmilla says as she leans in closer, “Is that okay?” Laura doesn’t respond. She just closes the space between them and leaves a small peck on Carmilla’s lips. And then another but softer. And then Carmilla is pulling her in and they’re melting, melting, melting.
It feels like the first line you’ve written in months after writer’s block crippled your fingers. It feels like finishing a story you lost faith in a long time ago. It feels like a character getting justice. She feels like coming home.
Carmilla is the one to pull away. She smiles so wide Laura thinks her face will tear in two. And she smiles back.
“That was…unexpected. But amazing.” Laura nods in agreement, “Which is why I won’t be staying here tonight.”
“What why?” Laura exclaims.
“Calm down, Cutie. I’m not doing the broody runaway thing, I just really like you. I don’t want to rush something and then mess it all up.” She can see the disappointment in Laura’s eyes so she lifts up her chin and kisses her again, “I promise I’ll still like you in the morning.” Laura can only laugh. They kiss again before Carmilla reluctantly pulls herself out of the car and heads to Take Out Movies.
Laura offered to drive but Carmilla knew if she spent another second with her she wouldn’t be able to leave. She spends the 20 or so minute walk thinking about Laura and kissing Laura and holding her hand and her laugh and her smile and…
“Fuck.” A figure stands outside her door and she shivers to her core.
“Carmilla. Carmilla baby, let me in. Mommy needs you.” The woman knocked on the door a few more times clearly not knowing there was no one inside, “I just want to see my little girl.”
Carmilla slides into an alley that takes her behind the shop. She uses her key to get in and heads up the backroom stairs. There’s a door that leads to a hallway that connects her apartment to the store. As she walks through, trying not to breathe when she opens her own door, she can hear her mother shouting for her.
“Carmilla! Are you going to abandon your own mother! I gave you life, how could you do this? Carmilla open the fucking door!” She pounds on the wall again as the girl slides down to the ground. She prays the neighbors will call the police before things get too crazy.
As her mother continues to call out for her daughter (and for money) Carmilla cries herself to sleep on the living room floor.
She dreams of broken people meeting beautiful ones and running away.