Chapter Text
On the next day, Daryl had once again gone hunting in the woods before Sam or you woke up, after he took watch through the night…
Even though you felt safer knowing that he was watching over you, you hoped that eventually, he’d trust the others to take watch and patrol, so he’d get some rest at night once his shift was done, instead of just taking short naps when you forced him to.
That morning, Sam had woken up before you, and he was already with the other kids when you went to get some breakfast. You were starving and you hadn’t thrown up, but you were feeling queasy, even if your brain was trying not to acknowledge it.
A little bit later, you noticed Shane coming back from the creek with Lori and Carl. Sam had been drawing and Carl made his way to him.
“Can I try your slingshot?” He asked.
“Carl, you just asked Shane to show you how to work the radio and see if we can contact someone away,” Lori said.
“We can do that later.” Shane shrugged.
“You’ll have something else to do later, so come on, Carl, let’s go, you’re the one who asked,” Lori insisted and you squinted at her, wondering if she’d be insisting so much if Carl had gone with any of the other kids.
“Alright…” Carl said grudgingly
“Can I go too?” Sam asked.
“Yeah, come on, maybe we’ll get lucky and talk to someone today, uh?” Shane told to the kids with half a smile, and you felt he didn’t believe his words but put on a good face for them…whether he ignored Lori’s look at that or if he didn’t notice it, you weren’t sure.
Sam looked at you and you nodded. “Sure sweetheart, I’ll see you later, listen to Shane, okay?” Sam nodded, closing his notebook and getting up, following Shane and Carl.
Lori looked at them walking and then turned as if to leave too, but you weren’t feeling too great, and you couldn’t help but snap.
“Hey, Lori, you have a problem with my kid, with the slingshot, or is it with both?”
Lori blinked at you, and the other women around seemed a bit surprised too.
“I don’t…I…” Lori stammered. “I don’t have a problem, but…Merle? We all can see how he is…what he is…we all see it.” She waved around at the other women, who looked anywhere but at Lori and you.
“Believe me, I know Merle Dixon very well.” You had suffered him for years. “But what that has to do with Sam?”
“Isn’t him his father?” Lori raised an eyebrow at you and you nodded. “Well…there’s not a nice way to say this, but that’s not the company I want for my kid.”
You couldn’t believe that you had to deal with this shit even now. “Not wanting Merle around your kid? I can get that,” you conceded. “But Sam? You don’t know him, you are just assuming things because who’s his father and for whatever image you have painted in your mind about us.”
Probably she thought shit about Daryl and you too, but that was a matter for another time.
“You’re not the first, we had to deal with enough people like you already, even in the school where I work, I’m past done, so believe me when I say, I won’t sit around and do nothing if you try to get Sam isolated and ignored.”
“That’s…that’s not what I’m doing…” Lori tried to speak for herself, looking around as if afraid that the others were judging her too.
“Yeah, you just drop your kid under my care whenever it suits you but try to stop him from being friends with mine…again, not the first mother to do that.” You shrugged.
“I’m not doing that!” Lori insisted looking around as if trying again to get the support of the other women, who were still avoiding looking at Lori or you. “It’s…it’s you the one who’s prejudging me!” She snapped and you scoffed, rolling your eyes…let her turn you into the villain if she wanted, you were done. “I have…I have things to do…I’m busy,” Lori said before angrily walking away.
You let out a sigh, cursing under your breath…this hasn’t gone as you planned. What you wanted was to have a conversation with Lori, a civil discussion…but you had ended up just snapping and being defensive…you didn’t know what had gotten into you.
“What if now she goes to ask Shane to kick you and your family out of camp?” Amy asked you when you sat down on one of the camping chairs.
“Shane’s not going to kick them out because Lori threw a tantrum over his kid’s friends,” Andrea said, rolling her eyes. “Besides, all those squirrels Daryl got us yesterday? Believe me, you all aren’t going anywhere,” she told you and you nodded.
Daryl’s hunting skills were appreciated at the camp, you knew it was one of the main reasons why the people had wanted you there…but Andrea was more right than she knew. No matter what, you and your family were not leaving that place, that protected quarry away from the worst of the walkers, with a creek to get water, woods where Daryl got food…no, you were not leaving. They might try kicking you out if they wanted, but you were not giving up that place, you could just camp further away if needed.
“Hey, Y/N,” Miranda called your name, smiling at you when you looked at her. "Maybe we don’t like Merle, but we all can see Sam is a great kid, we all like him,” she told you. “And you too, we like to have you around.”
“Thanks,” you told her, giving her a tired but grateful smile.
“Just a question, though…” Andrea said, looking at you in a way that made you feel self-conscious. “Merle is Sam’s dad, right?” She asked and you nodded, humming and wondering where she was taking this, because if you had to stand for Merle, you weren’t sure you could. “But, uh…you’re not Sam’s mom? Or are you? I think I have that mixed…”
You frowned at Andrea, but she didn’t seem to be trying to mess with you or meant anything bad, she just seemed genuinely curious and a bit puzzled, and the other women were looking at you too…maybe you had not introduced your family properly.
“No, I’m not his mother,” you told them. “I’m his aunt, I’m married to Daryl, not Merle…thankfully,” you snorted, you’d rather not imagine being married to Merle.
“That’s what I thought, yes.” Andrea nodded and then she snorted too. “It’d have been much of a soap opera that you had a kid with Merle and then went to marry the brother.”
“Please, don’t put images in my head,” you chuckled, it was a bit awkward, but you still didn’t feel any bad intention coming from Andrea or the others, and you had to admit, your situation with Sam and Merle was a bit peculiar.
“Sorry.” Andrea chuckled too. “Just…the way you act with Sam, I just got the feeling you were his mother,” she said and some of the other women nodded too…Merle rather not learn that, he was always bitter at your closeness with Sam. “And you just called him ‘my kid’...”
“Oh…” You hadn’t realized, but you guessed you might have called him that, probably wouldn’t be the first time, and you thought Daryl had referred to Sam like that some other time too. “Yeah…It’s just, I’ve been living with Daryl and Sam for years now, so…just…I really care for Sam, so…yeah, he’s my kid in a way…”
You shugged shyly, unsure of how to explain it, but it’d been years since you felt Sam more like yours and Daryl’s kid than your nephew, no matter it’d piss Merle. Besides, Merle and Daryl referred to Sam a lot like “the kid” and you guessed that way of wording it had rubbed off on you, just like you’d noticed some of your wording and way of speaking had rubbed off on Sam and Daryl, sometimes.
“You lived with Merle?” Amy asked, looking like she would rather live with a walker…yeah, Merle hadn’t really given the best first impression.
“Sometimes…” That hadn’t been easy or nice. “But he used to be away for long periods of time, so most of the time it was just me, Sam and Daryl.”
“No wonder it looks like Sam’s yours and Daryl’s kid,” Andrea murmured.
“Yeah…sounds like you’ve been taking care of that kid as your own, and everyone can see how you care for him, and how much he cares for you,” Miranda said, smiling. “He’s a great kid.”
“He is.” You nodded, you couldn’t help but feel proud. “But Daryl’s the one who raised him on his own since Sam was a baby, I met him when he was six, he was already the best kid, thanks to Daryl,” you said fondly.
The women looked at each other as if they had trouble picturing Daryl like that, but they didn’t say anything.
“Daryl and you never thought of having kids yourselves?” Miranda asked.
“Well…” You shifted on your seat, awkward. “That was something we didn’t want to take lightly…so…yeah, we talked about it sometimes, that’s a big decision, so we gave it a lot of thought and consideration…anyway, with everything that’s happened, I guess it’s good we didn’t…” You sighed.
Amy hummed, nodding before she looked at you again. “But where’s Sam’s mom?”
“She’s not in the picture since he was born,” you answered vaguely, still awkward.
“I say it’s enough gossip for today?” Carol said and you were glad for it.
“Yeah…” Andrea agreed. “Let’s do something useful.”
*
A bit later, you were playing cards with Miranda and her kids, when Carl, Shane, and Sam came back from trying the radio.
“Hey.” You smiled at them. “Did you talk to someone?”
“No…” Sam said while Carl shook his head, both kids seeming disappointed, and they sit down to join the card game.
“Hey, we know that’s difficult, okay?” Shane told them. “But we’re not giving up, and we managed to get the radio working with less interference and noise, right? We’ll keep trying.”
He made to walk away and you got up. “Keep playing without me, I’ll be back in a minute,” you said as you followed Shane. “Hey, Shane,” you called for him, you wanted to give him a heads up on the Lori incident before he may hear it from her first.
“Sam really knows his way around a screwdriver,” Shane said before you could say anything, looking half amused, half impressed.
“Oh…” You blinked, taken by surprise, but then you smiled. “Yeah, he’s spent a lot of time at the garage tinkering with cars and bikes.”
“His dad’s a mechanic?” Shane asked and you wondered if you had to explain your family arrangements again…this was so awkward.
“No, uh…Daryl’s a mechanic but Merle’s Sam’s father,” you said.
“Yeah, I know that.” Shane nodded. “Just wondering if Merle’s a mechanic too.”
“Oh, no, no, he’s not…” You were not about to say that Merle’s only regular job had been drug dealer, though. “But, uh…Daryl’s cared for Sam since he was a baby, so the kid has spent a lot of time at the garage with him.”
“Mmh…” Shane hummed before smiling. “Might have to appoint Sam as the repairman of the camp, then,” he joked and you couldn’t help your smile.
“I bet he’d like that,” you joked back before you chewed on your lip, knowing that you had to go to the point of why you had followed Shane. “Hey, uh…I got into an argument with Lori, so…yeah, just giving you a heads up…”
Shane sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Look, I, uh…I know how she’s been with you and Sam, but uh…she’s a good woman, okay?” He said and just shrugged, you weren’t saying she wasn’t, just that she was….judgy, so to say. “But…she’s stressed with everything that’s going on, she’s worried, she’s scared for her kid…”
“Aren’t we all…” You murmured and Shane sighed again.
“I’ll talk to her.”
“You don’t have to…just…yeah, we’re all stressed, I get it.” You shrugged, you didn’t feel like dragging the argument, you felt tired and didn’t want to argue with Lori again. “Just wanted to let you know…anyway, I’ll go back to get my ass handled on that card game.”
*
It was once again past lunchtime when Daryl came back from hunting, but you had saved him some of the squirrel stew that you all had a couple of hours before.
“Look at that!” Morales said. “He got rabbits!”
You followed his gaze and noticed Daryl walking into the camp with a couple of rabbits hanging from his belt.
“We still have squirrel stew, he doesn’t need to go out every day like that, we’ll be okay in food if we’re careful,” Miranda said and you let out a sigh.
“You can try telling him because he doesn’t listen to me…” You knew Daryl didn’t want to risk you all getting out of food, but you wished he let himself rest instead of being all the time hunting and patrolling.
Sam was already making his way to Daryl and you did the same.
“Hey, everythin’ okay?” Daryl asked, looking around, and you nodded. “Where’s Merle?”
“Patrolling.”
“You went huntin’ without me again…” Sam said, seeming disappointed.
“I’ll take ya another morin’, okay?” Daryl told him, you knew he wanted to make sure that the area was safe enough, and Sam shrugged. “What if we get these rabbits ready and then go trainin’ with the crossbow before we lose the light, ya wanna?” Sam smiled at that, nodding, and the corner of Daryl’s mouth lifted into a small smile at it, before he looked at you. “I want ya to come too,” he told you.
“Okay.” You nodded, even if you were afraid of maybe being bad at it. "But first, you're sitting down and eating some stew."
Daryl seemed reluctant and about to say no, but he seemed to think it better, as if he knew you were not going to take a no for an answer. "Alright..."
*
Daryl took you and Sam slightly away from the main camp and into the woods. First, he showed you the basics of the crossbow and how it worked, with that same patience he seemed to have when showing Sam what he was doing when he fixed a car. Then, he showed you how to hold it, helping you both with your posture, before you started learning how to aim and shoot.
It was hard, as hard as you had thought or more, but with Daryl’s help you were learning the basics, he helped you to keep a good posture and aim, and so you managed to land a couple of shots, more or less…you knew you had to keep practicing more.
You were not surprised when Sam seemed to get the hang of it quicker than you, and you couldn’t help your small smile at how proud Daryl seemed. You ended up leaving the crossbow all for Sam, taking his slingshot instead and trying your aim with it.
“Slingshot ain’t bad either,” Daryl said, looking at you as you landed a good shot, while Sam practiced recharging the crossbow by himself, which, you had found, was not easy. “Could crack the skull if it’s rotten enough…ya keep it always with ya, okay?” He told Sam, who nodded before shooting the crossbow, the arrow embedding into the bark of a tree, on the spot where he was aiming. “We need more weapons…ya need to have a weapon on ya always too,” he muttered, brow furrowed again as he looked at you.
“Glenn has been scavenging on Atlanta, but he said he couldn’t find weapons,” you said…you guessed weapons had been one of the first things people would try to get.
Daryl hummed, nodding. “And we can’t train with the gun and rifle, too noisy,” he sighed, frustrated. “I gotta see if we had more knives on the truck of the pickup…I should have gotten the kid a huntin' knife long ago,” he scoffed.
“Isn’t it dangerous, getting so close to a walker to kill it with a knife?” You asked, feeling uneasy at the idea…Daryl sounded like he’d done it already, and it scared you to imagine it.
“Yeah, I don’t want ya and Sam gettin' close to one of those freaks…but you gotta train anyway, just in case,” he said and you nodded. “The hard part is holdin' the walker in place so it doesn’t bite…just…just try not to get that close anyway,” he added, seeming worried. “But if ya are, then ya gotta stab them on the head, reach the brain. The temple is the softer part, or the base of the skull…or through the eye socket.”
You grimaced at it, your stomach doing something funny at the idea, but you nodded.
“Okay…but what if we leave that for tomorrow?” You asked, lowering down to sit on the ground, you were feeling tired and a bit dizzy.
Daryl frowned, giving you a worried look as he knelt in front of you. “Ya okay?”
“Yes,” you assured him, trying to give him a smile. “I’m just a bit tired.”
“Have ya eaten? Did ya throw up again?” He asked you.
“I didn’t throw up…it’s okay, I’m just tired, that crossbow is heavier than it looks,” you kept trying to reassure him, but Daryl was still frowning.
“Ya sure ya ain’t gettin’ sick’?” He asked, cupping your face and lifting it as if to check how you looked while his thumb stroked your cheekbone.
“I’m sure,” you told him…at least you hoped so.
“Y/N?!” “Daryl?!”
Before any of you could say anything else, you heard Andrea’s voice urgently calling for Daryl and you.
“We’re here!” You answered, quickly getting up, which gave you a head rush as you felt dizzier, and Daryl reached out for you, steading you before looking towards where Andrea’s voice was coming, seeming worried too. “I’m okay, come on.”
Sam rushed to you both, passing Daryl his crossbow while you handled him the slingshot, and you three rushed towards Andrea, who had reached you already.
“There’s something wrong?! Walkers?!” You asked, scared.
“No, no walkers,” Andrea said, panting a bit as if she’d run towards you. “It’s Merle-”
“Is he hurt?” Daryl asked, not letting Andrea finish, and you reached to hold Sam’s hand and pulled him towards you, whatever it was, it couldn’t be good.
“No, but he…he’s out of himself, he came back from patrolling straight towards T-Dog, tried to pick up a fight with him, he would have hit him if Shane didn’t act quick,” Andrea explained, and you didn’t know what had you been expecting but it was not this. “But he’s out of control, we need you to-”
“What did T-Dog do to him?!” Daryl snapped, once again without letting Andrea finish.
“Nothing!” She snapped back. “I told you, he came straight for T-Dog! Shane is trying to keep him under control but…you need to come and help him with it, Merle’s not stopping.”
Daryl cursed under his breath. “Keep the kid with ya,” Daryl told you.
“I’m gonna help dad!” Sam said, trying to lose your grasp on him.
“Sam, stay with Y/N!” Daryl snapped before he ran towards the camp.
“It’s okay, Sam, Daryl will fix this,” you tried to assure him, even though you were feeling very uneasy.
“Come on,” he urged you, tugging at your hand so you’d walk faster to the camp.
“Y/N…hey,” Andrea called your name hushedly, approaching you. “I think…I think Merle’s high? Is that possible?” She whispered to you.
Yes…yes it was possible…you nodded curtly. You were going to kill Merle…
*
Shane, who seemed to have already gotten a bruise trying to control Merle, didn't seem to have been able to hold him down, and neither could Daryl, who became the target of Merle’s curses when he tried to calm him down. In the end, it was Sam calling his name that made Merle stop for a moment.
He stopped struggling with Daryl and Shane, looking at Sam. Then he cursed and mumbled something, shaking Daryl and Shane off him before he headed back to the woods.
“Merle! Wait!” Daryl called for him, following him, and Sam tried to rush towards Merle too, but you reached to take his hand and stop him. “Kid, stay with Y/N!” Daryl told him when he noticed it. “I’ll go get Mere.”
“Daryl, leave him alone,” you told him, you were pissed at Merle and you also were afraid that, in his high, he might hurt Daryl if he saw him as an inconvenience.
“I gotta get him back, what if he finds a walker or something,” Daryl said, looking worriedly towards where Merle had left, stumbling to the woods.
“Maybe he’d have it coming,” you snapped, angry, and both Daryl and Sam gave you upset, reproachful looks.
Daryl didn’t say anything, he just rushed to the woods, following Merle, and you kept holding Sam’s arm, afraid that he was going to try to go with him.
“Y/N?” Andrea called your name, stepping in front of you. “Are you okay? You’re looking sick.”
“I’m okay…” You said, though you were feeling light-headed. “Just…you know…” You gestured around vaguely and Andrea nodded, but she still seemed worried.
Sam had seemed upset with you, but he glanced at you at Andrea’s words, and he looked worried, making you wonder if you looked sick for real. He tugged at your hand, walking you to the picnic chair outside your tent and making you sit down.
“I’m okay, sweetheart, I’m sorry I said that about your dad, I was very upset and not feeling good,” you told him, even if you were angry at Merle, you knew how much he meant to Sam.
“Daryl said maybe you’re sick?” Sam asked, seeming worried, and you shook your head.
“I’m okay, darling,” you assured him. “Just a bit tired.”
“Y/N, you okay?” Shane asked you as he approached, rubbing the bruise on his jaw, and you hated to feel everyone's eyes on you and Sam.
“Yes.” You nodded. “I’m very sorry about all this.”
“It’s not your fault,” Shane told you.
“We can’t have someone like that in the camp,” Lori said, hugging herself as she nodded towards Merle’s tent.
“Yeah? So we kick out Y/N, Daryl, and Sam because of Merle, and then we kick out Carol and Sophia because of Ed?” Andrea snapped at her.
“Nobody is kicking nobody out,” Shane said before he knelt in front of you. “Hey, Y/N…you sure you’re okay? We can help with…whatever this is.”
“I’m okay, thank you, I can deal with my family’s stuff myself,” you said, feeling very awkward.
“Okay…okay, just…” Shane frowned before looking away. “That’s what Carol said, when I asked…”
“It’s…it’s really not like that,” you sighed, rubbing your forehead, feeling very awkward and very upset, but you couldn’t blame Shane for jumping to conclusions. “I promise, it really isn’t, just…Daryl and I will deal with Merle, this won’t happen again.”
Shane was still frowning, but he nodded, sharing a look with Andrea before they both walked away, everyone following them to leave you alone as you wanted.
*
It didn’t take long for Daryl to come back with Merle, who seemed annoyed and still out of himself, but at least he was calm now.
Merle didn’t acknowledge Sam and you, as he just crawled inside his tent, zipping it close.
“Is he okay?” Sam asked as he looked towards the tent.
“Yeah, don’t worry kid, he just needs to sleep,” Daryl told him, trying to give him a tense smile.
“Okay…” Sam murmured, looking down and still seeming upset.
“Hey, I think Eliza and Louis are playing cards, why don’t you go too? And I join you in a moment?” You wanted him to stop thinking about what had happened and you also wanted a moment with Daryl, but Sam just shrugged.
“Yeah, come on, do what Y/N says and after that, I’ll teach ya how to make arrows, ya wanna?” Daryl told him and Sam finally nodded, making his way towards the area where the other kids were playing.
You looked at Daryl, who was chewing on his thumbnail and looking down.
“Merle was high, wasn’t he?” You asked, upset, and Daryl nodded. “He got his drugs with him? We couldn’t stop to get food, or clothes, or anything from home, but he got his drugs?!”
Daryl shrugged. “I don’t think he stopped to get it…I think he just still got his stash on the bike.”
“You knew it?” You asked, disappointed in him, and Daryl shrugged again without looking at you.
“I guessed it.”
You scoffed, making your way to Merle’s bike.
“Hey, what are ya doin’?” Daryl asked you.
“Getting rid of it,” you said, opening one of the bags.
“Stop it.” Daryl closed it again, getting between the bike and you, and you glared at him. “How ya think Merle’s gonna react if ya do that?”
“So what, we have to be scared of your brother now?” You snapped…you had dealt with Merle high already, unfortunately, but it was different now, it put everything at risk.
“I ain’t…I ain’t sayin’ that…” Daryl told you. “Ya know we don’t have to be scared of him.”
“Do I?” You raised an eyebrow at Daryl, who let out a tired sigh.
“Just…ya really wanna deal with Merle being hangover, pissed at us, withdrawing?” It didn’t sound pretty. “And ya know he can’t just quit cold turkey.”
“He should have quitted long ago,” you huffed.
“He should.” Daryl nodded, you knew he agreed.
“This can’t happen again,” you said firmly. “And you know I don’t like that he’s got drugs near Sam or that he has to see him like that.” Daryl nodded, he agreed, yet he still never went against his brother. “Things are different now, Daryl, this is even more dangerous now. Getting high like that he puts not only himself at risk but all of us too.”
“I know…I’ll talk to him,” Daryl said.
“Yeah…like he’s going to listen.” You scoffed but you didn’t want to argue more…you hated how Merle was always a source of tension and fights between Daryl and you, and so you decided to leave Daryl alone, not wanting a fight. “I’m going with Sam.”
“Hey…” Daryl grabbed your arm gently, stopping you, and you turned to look at him. You had expected he’d be upset and angry, as it usually happened when you both argued about his brother, but he was just looking tired and helpless…he shouldn’t have to deal with all this Merle’s shit, and you hated that he had to. “I’m sorry…” he muttered.
“I know…” You sighed. “But you don’t have to, it’s your brother the one who has to be sorry,” you said and Daryl hummed…both of you knew that he wasn’t. Daryl seemed upset and tired, so you leaned to kiss his cheek, and he gave you a small, weak smile at that, seeming relieved that you weren’t mad.
“Ya okay?” He asked you. “Yer lookin’ sick…”
“I’m not,” you said firmly, trying to stop him from worrying. “I’m just tired…and, just, this thing with your brother…” You said vaguely and Daryl nodded, seeming a bit guilty, which you hated. “People are scared and worried about it, so I’m going to do some damage control.”
You sighed, you didn’t want to, but you knew you should before things got even more awkward, and Daryl nodded, looking down.
“If it's safe, why don’t you take Sam on patrol with you for a little bit?” You suggested. “He’s upset about all this.”
“Okay.” Daryl nodded.
You took his hand, squeezing briefly before you both walked towards where Sam was playing cards with the kids, trying to ignore the way everyone looked at you both, as you hoped this was the last time you had to fix one of Merle’s messes.