Chapter Text
You anxiously smoothed the fabric of your pants over your thighs for the fifth time in as many minutes—wouldn’t want Dream thinking you undatable because your pants have creases, after all—as you stood waiting outside the restaurant. It was several minutes before the time Dream had told you he wanted to meet, but you figured you’d get there early, to give the impression that you were a person who actually had their life together.
Never mind that you had spent half an hour telling Dream all about your difficulties just remembering to do simple things like laundry and dishes as he sat there, entranced by the wonders of human slovenliness. No, you wanted Dream to think you had some redeeming qualities.
So, here you were, rocking back and forth on your heels as you nervously waited for the skeleton of your dreams to make his appearance. Any minute now, you knew you’d see him approaching you, his bones and clothes vibrant in the setting sun. The thought of his eyelights sparkling upon seeing you sent a warm flush throughout your chest, especially when you dared to think that was a look only for you.
He had taken you out on another date outing the other day, popping into your laundromat with an eager smile and dragging you out to lunch at a nearby café, where he spent an hour excitedly telling you about how he had actually run a load of laundry all by himself and only flooded the laundry room a little. When you were forced to remind him that you were still on the clock, his disappointment was almost palpable as he walked you back to the laundromat.
“I keep forgetting to talk to you about something,” he had said, rubbing at his chin thoughtfully. It took everything in you not to tell him how cute he looked with that crease in his brow and the slight pout he adopted when thinking. “But whenever I see your face, I forget what it is.”
“Oh. I-I’m sorry, for, um, my face.”
Dream blanched at the thought of accidentally insulting you. “No, no, no! It’s not that—you have a nice face, a very lovely face, I like looking at it! I mean—oh—”
Many, many awkward apologies later, and Dream had offered to take you out to dinner tonight, with the promise that he would write down whatever it was he kept forgetting to talk about while he was away. Now, here you stood, hoping that your outfit wasn’t too plain for someone as bright and vibrant as him.
Still, you got the niggling sense that you were being watched. You had felt it all yesterday when at lunch with Dream, but now it felt multiplied by four. Paranoia?
~~ ~~
“I’m bored.”
“Hi bored, I’m Dust.”
A rash of sniggering at the tired joke broke out amongst the group of skeletons huddled behind the conveniently placed hedge across the street. Cross gave an irritated sigh from where he knelt, peeking over the hedge, shushing the others only to receive a derisive giggle from Killer and several obscene hand gestures from Dust.
Cross turned his head just in time to catch a particularly insulting flick of Dust’s wrist, his skull coloring an interesting shade of purple even as he said in exasperation, “If you’re so bored, why did you even come along? Nightmare gave me the mission—you guys shouldn’t have even known about this.”
“Well, I saw the pictures you took of Dream and the human on their little lunch date on your phone, and of course I had to share it with—”
An indignant spluttering from Cross cut off Killer’s explanation. “Wh—how did you get on my phone?!”
Killer grinned. “Not really a point in having your thumbprint unlock your phone when we all have the same prints, dumbass.” He continued on, though he took a moment to appreciate the expression on Cross’s face as he realized his error. “So, anyway, got us all interested to see Dream wooing our little laundryperson, plus I knew you wouldn’t have the balls to go up against Dream on your own—so really, you should be thanking us.”
“Boss shoulda known you were like, the worst person to put on a kidnapping job,” Axe chimed in, his crooked grin hitching up at one corner. “You overthink things, and you’re too nice. Plus, you’ve never picked up a chick before.”
Cross’s skull darkened into a solid violet at the multiple attacks on his character. “I’ve picked up chicks before,” he protested weakly. “Killer took me to Grillby’s that one time and—”
“Naw. That ain’t picking up chicks. Here, I’ll show you how it’s done.”
Despite Cross’s panicked hissing at him to get down, Axe stood and casually strolled across the street. Dust and Killer scooted up by the hedge, poking their skulls up to join Cross in watching with wide sockets as Axe approached you. They couldn’t hear your conversation at that distance, but they could make out the surprise on your face to see Axe. Your head cocked to the side curiously, your mouth moving silently as you questioned Axe’s sudden appearance, but you didn’t seem alarmed or frightened at the sight of a hulking, battered skeleton in tattered clothes.
After a few minutes of your unheard chat, Axe suddenly leaned down, his huge arms reaching down to scoop you up and sling you over his shoulder. They could hear your voice then—an indignant shriek that rose in volume when Axe broke out into a run, barreling back over to where the others sat.
“Wh—” Cross looked up at your furiously flailing limbs, eyelights darting between you and Axe. “What did you—?”
“Picked up a chick. Let’s go before—”
“What are you doing?!”
All four of them whirled around to see Dream standing across the street, having just stepped through a portal to see you laying on Axe’s shoulder like an angry sack of potatoes. His eyelights fell upon Cross, who shrank back in shame, then on the unrepentant grins of the other three idiots, and a curious expression settled over his face, one the gremlins couldn’t recall seeing on Dream.
He looked…angry.
“Time to go,” Dust said urgently. He nudged Cross, who remembered with a start that he was their ticket out of there. A quick rip in space and time, and they were tumbling through the portal, Dream’s furious shout for them to stop following them through.
~~ ~~
In just one afternoon your entire life had been turned upside down, and yet, honestly you didn’t really notice a lot of changes in your overall daily routine. You still slept through half your alarms before panic about being late had you rocketing out of bed and into the shower, still spent your day dealing with stains of many mysterious origins, and then settled in for a night of watching whatever marathon was on television.
Except, the main difference was that instead of college students and whoever was unfortunate to live in an apartment with no washer and dryer, your clientele was just those damn skeletons, and the surprising motley of humans residing in the castle.
Oh, yeah, and you were living in an honest-to-god castle. With runners, and banners, and chandeliers. You felt bad for whatever poor soul was tasked with keeping the castle clean—you swore you had seen someone wearing a maid outfit at some point, a tall woman with dark hair who you had seen getting a kabedon from Nightmare before you averted your eyes.
A vibration from your phone drew you out of your musings. You looked down, only to smile at the name that popped up in your notifications. A text from Dream—eagerly, you pulled up your messages to see Dream’s daily selfie, his smile bright and oblivious to Blue photobombing in the background.
“Aw, he misses you. That’s so cute.”
You looked up, startled, to see Killer leaning over the counter, his sockets dripping as he very obviously craned his neck to see your phone screen. He grinned at you when he noticed your annoyed glare. “What? It’s cute. Never knew that uptight little ball of sunshine could actually loosen up—he and Nightmare have that in common, really, as much as they like to pretend they’re nothing alike.”
When they had stolen you away to the castle, originally you had been extremely suspicious of the fact that no one had ever confiscated your phone, or at least gone through your contacts to make sure you couldn’t contact Dream or his friends for a rescue. After several days of Dream frantically checking in every ten minutes to make sure you weren’t being tortured, and the many times one of Nightmare’s gang had strolled into the laundry room and caught you on your phone, eventually you had realized it wasn’t that they had forgotten to take away your means of contacting Dream.
They just didn’t care. If anything, based on interactions such as the current one with Killer, they found it a source of amusement. Nightmare didn’t seem to let them out of the castle as much as they liked, and so the boys apparently derived their entertainment wherever they could.
Killer would often pop in to see if there were any new texts, and helpfully provide suggestions on what to text back—though his suggestions tended to run rather lewd. It would take a bit of prodding each time, but Cross was always a good source for little tidbits and little known facts about Dream that made you wonder just how Cross knew all those things. Dust was oddly proficient at taking flattering selfies, and surprisingly eager to share his knowledge with you whenever Dream wanted visual proof that you were alive and healthy (and cute, he had called you once; Killer and Axe had watched in amusement as you had let out an ecstatic squee and wiggled with joy reading that text). Axe was well versed in the language of emoji—a skill that both of you were disappointed to learn was not very useful when dealing with a 500 year old Guardian who could barely manage to operate a smartphone.
Dream: I want to see you
Me: I can send another selfie if u want
Dream: no I mean in person
“Man, he really likes you,” Killer said, still hovering over your shoulder. “I’ve never seen him go after someone even after Nightmare locks them away. Tell him you’ll sneak out to see him if he sends a picture of his d—”
Cross was the more sensible person to talk to about the chances of a secret rendezvous with Dream. He stuttered and stammered when you had asked him, eyelights casting about nervously as if Nightmare would manifest from the shadows at any moment to strike him down for daring to even think about absconding with his laundryperson.
“Please, Cross, please,” you begged. “Just one afternoon. Just an hour, I promise! You can tell Nightmare we went to go get more detergent.”
Eventually, your wheedling wore him down, and you found yourself blinking owlishly in the first natural light you’d seen in weeks. It was your old AU, so Dream would have an easier time finding you. You sat at an outside table at the café where you and Dream had your lunch date, while Cross very unsubtly was seated at another table with sunglasses, a hat, and trenchcoat with the collar turned up. Honestly, he couldn’t have called more attention to himself if he tried.
“Oh!” A breathless exclamation brought your head up to see Dream standing there, eyelights blown wide as he saw you. “You really…you’re really here. I thought for sure it was Killer texting me on your phone again pretending to be you.”
A habit you had yet to break Killer of.
You rose to your feet with a shy smile, only to find yourself smashed against Dream’s chest as he swept you up in a crushing hug. He was warm, the aura of his soul radiating pleasantly against you even through his bones.
“I missed you,” he murmured into your hair. An odd warmth spread in your chest, and it felt as if your heart was in a slowly tightening knot as you struggled to work through the emotions that arose from the confession. You tentatively returned the hug, your hands splaying out over his back and feeling the pleased thrumming of his magic.
“I missed you too,” you whispered. His arms tightened around you. “Are you going to…?”
“No,” he said, catching your meaning. His eyelights darted over to the ‘innocuous’ skeleton who was definitely not watching the two of you over the rim of his shades. “My brother has too tight a grip on you, I’m afraid. If I want to rescue you, I’d need to gather more allies to match his strength.”
“Um.” He guided the two of you back to the table, though to your delight, he kept your hands in his, even when you were seated. The leather of his gloves were cool against your skin, a stark contrast to the gentle warmth of his bones. He smiled at you, encouraging you to go on. “I—I actually…don’t really mind it.”
Dream blinked. “You don’t mind…what? Being Nightmare’s slave?”
“No!” you protested. “I mean—I’m not really…he actually pays me. In gold. Still trying to figure out what bank I can deposit it in, but still, he pays me every week. And—and all my meals are cooked for me, the internet’s actually better than it was in my apartment, and Nightmare says if I continue to behave, then I’ll be allowed to leave the castle when I’m not on the clock.”
His expression was one of very obvious bewilderment, his voice carefully flat as he spoke, and you could feel the incredulity in his question. “What are you saying? You like being my brother’s prisoner?”
“I-I’m sorry.”
“No—” Dream caught your hands before you could pull them away, his voice turning agitated at how you wilted at his supposed disapproval. “No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—it’s just, my brother, he’s…well, he’s Nightmare. I know how hard he is to deal with, especially when he’s in one of his moods.”
You shrugged, suddenly finding it hard to meet his eye, unwilling to face his potentially disappointed gaze.
A minute or two passed; Dream was obviously deep in thought, his thumb idly rubbing back and forth over your knuckles, that adorable crease between his brow returning with his rumination. After a while, you could feel his eyelights shifting back over to contemplate you. “You’re…happy in my brother’s employ, then? He’s truly not torturing you, or forcing you to say this?”
You nodded. Dream watched your expression for a moment, then you could feel it as his whole body relaxed. “Alright. I apologize for being so…uptight about it. Blue does tell me I need to, erm, ‘take the stick out of my rear’ more often. If you say you’re fine, then I shall trust you.”
“Thank you, Dream.”
“You’re welcome.”
“…Dream?”
“Hm?”
A roaring in your ears as you fidgeted, working up the courage to say how you felt. Some part of you had a feeling that Dream already knew, but then another part of you whispered that maybe he did know but never said anything, to avoid crushing your feelings with his rejection. Still, you told yourself, there was no use pining over it if you weren’t ever going to man up and say something. So, you squared your shoulders, and looked a bemused Dream dead in the eye to proclaim, “I—I like you.”
He brightened, eyelights sparkling. “Oh! I like you too.”
“No, I mean—I like like you.”
“It’s not a competition!” he chided you. “Because if it were, I would win. I like like like you.”
Ugh, this dumb, handsome idiot. You resisted the urge to facepalm at his thwarting your confession. “Dream, I mean—I want to date you!”
“Oh—” his skull turned an interesting shade of yellow, his cheeks darkening into a dull amber. He hemmed and hawed, a stream of cut-off syllables spewing forth as he struggled to form a coherent rejection. “You really—I mean, it’s—I just—”
Of course you should have known better than to believe you could date someone as perfect and beautiful as him. You sighed, struggling not to let the tears flow even as you could feel your cheeks heating up with your embarrassment. “It’s okay, Dream. You don’t have to—”
“No! No!” Dream practically shouted, uncharacteristically flustered. You looked at him in shock, your eyes wide at the wild look in his sockets during his outburst. Over his shoulder, you could see Cross’s sunglasses slipping off his face as he stared unblinkingly at the drama unfolding at your table.
Dream made an aggravated sound in the back of his throat, running a hand over his skull as he groaned. “Why do I keep saying things that make you so sad? I’m such an idiot.”
“You’re not an idiot, Dream.” You reassured him.
He waved your placations off, his expression still taut and an aggrieved slant to his smile as he said dryly, “No, apparently I’m an even bigger idiot than Blue constantly thinks. I…ah.” Yellow bloomed over his skull, and he broke eye contact with you, looking away, sounding almost shy when he said quietly, “I, um…I thought we already were dating.”
“What?” you asked dumbly. Off to the side, you saw Cross mouthing the same question.
Dream sighed, rubbing at his skull in what you recognized to be one of the habits he adopted whenever he was nervous. “It’s just—we text every day, and compliment each other’s physical appearance, and express how much we like and care for each other…I—I’m afraid I don’t really know the customs, as I’ve never dated anyone, and I—I guess I must have presumed too much.”
“Oh my fucking God, just kiss her already.”
You whirled around to see several familiar skeletons sitting at the table behind you—to your horror, one of whom was Nightmare, looking vaguely disgusted at all the positive, lovey-dovey emotions floating around his vicinity. Killer, who had been the one speaking just now, gave you a cheeky grin, while Axe and Dust waved.
How long had they been there?! You stood, ready to go off on them for interrupting such a delicate moment, only for a hand on your shoulder to have you turning back around and seeing Dream standing very, very close to you. “May I?” he asked quietly, a shy smile on his face. His breath came out in warm puffs against your face, even as he leaned down.
“Uh—huh?”
Your confused grunt was similar enough to consent for him, it would seem, for Dream leaned down even further to seal your mouth to his. Instantly, you could feel a tingling warmth flowing through you, a heady combination of his intent, his soul resonating with yours, and your sheer giddiness at being kissed by Dream. Your eyes slid closed, and you rose up onto your tiptoes to meet him as he moved in to deepen the kiss, your arms slipping around his neck to help anchor you against him.
Dimly, you were aware of the catcalling from the table behind you, along with Nightmare’s judgmental scowl, but none of that mattered right now. All you cared about was how good Dream’s teeth felt pressing against your lips, his arms tightening pleasantly around your waist, and how at peace you felt in this moment.
“This wasn’t in your report,” Nightmare said sourly when Cross wandered over to rejoin them. His face was drawn up in a disgusted sneer at the sheer amount of positivity he could feel from you and Dream, his brows tense and expression strained as he fought off the impending migraine he could sense approaching.
Cross huffed. “Well, they weren’t making out when I was watching. I told you Dream wasn’t trying to thwart you or whatever.”
“Hmph. Perhaps this was just his plan to weaken me. If I stay any longer, I fear I will start melting—or they’ll start fornicating on the table. Come along, Killer, Axe, Dust. We shall return to the castle now that I am sure that Dream poses no threat to me currently.”
“You…don’t care if one of your humans is dating your brother?” Cross asked incredulously. The others looked at Nightmare, curious for the answer as well, as all of them were well aware of Nightmare’s possessive streak.
Nightmare cast another glance over at where you and Dream still stood, locked in an embrace as Dream happily nuzzled you. Something in Nightmare’s expression softened at seeing Dream truly happy for the first time since their childhood, and not just putting on the mask of the Guardian of Positivity that he put on for the whole Multiverse.
“Even idiots like him deserve my grace once in a while,” he said gruffly, trying and failing to hide the affectionate lilt to his voice when talking about his twin. “I shall overlook his transgressions this time, for the sake of the Multiverse’s balance.”
You knew that all too soon, you were going to have to return to the castle, and Dream would have to go back to his job of protecting the Multiverse from Nightmare’s evil plans. But, you didn’t care if you had to claw out every scrap of time with Dream, if you had to savor every second you could enjoy with him in worlds just around the corner from Nightmare, if you had to spend all your time speaking in hushed whispers as so not to give away your position.
As long as you could see his face, feel the warmth of his magic, his soul beating its resonance pleasantly throughout you…that was all you needed.