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  1. Public Bookmark *

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     “I need your help.” 

    Ilya peers up again and raises an eyebrow. He pauses the video he was watching. “With?” 

    Shane fidgets. “I, uh… I can’t– I mean, I can but I’m not very good– Fuck, listen, just– Ineedyoutohelpmewithsex.” 

    A pause. A long pause. Ilya blinks a couple of times, mouth twitching at the corners. Then,

    “You need me to teach you how to fuck your girl, Hollander?”

    Shane needs help satisfying his girlfriend, Jessica. He turns to his roommate, Ilya, for help.

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    29 May 2026

  2. Public Bookmark 17

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    He pulls his phone out. He’s too tired and vulnerable to find space for any sort of self-consciousness when he texts Jayce.

    i miss you.

    He doesn’t expect an answer straight away. Surely Jayce is in the middle of a set, hyper-focused and diligent.

    It takes thirty seconds for the three dots to show up. And only two for the message to deliver.

    miss u too.

    Viktor smiles. A second message comes through.

    i swear i’m going super fast for u. nearly done with squats!

    Viktor imagines the very intimately familiar shape of two ass cheeks bulging against offensively tight shorts.

    send a pic.

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    28 May 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “But you would be unconscious for most, if not all of that? You won’t wake up immediately like you always do.” While Jayce has never refused a new idea Viktor has brought to their bedroom, he can’t quite wrap his head around the appeal of this particular scenario. If Viktor isn’t awake to respond to and enjoy their intimacy, what is the point of it, really?

    “I know, but I think I will still be able to feel you, even if just subconsciously. At one point strong enough physical stimulation will wake me eventually.” Viktor pauses to find the words he’s so clearly carefully putting together in his mind. His voice drops to a conspiratory whisper. “But before that I want you to worship my body, until I can feel you in my dreams, Jayce. Will you indulge me?”

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    14 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “Did you… Did you get a whole roll of wrapping paper for it?”

    “Yes. And ribbon.”

    “You’re cute.”

    “Shut up.”

    // shane’s birthday is next week. ilya has gifts for him.

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    26 Apr 2026

  5. Public Bookmark 8

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    I never knew a person’s gaze could have weight.
    Not until I found myself, every day, every hour, every ordinary case‑less afternoon,
    carrying the weight of Sherlock Holmes watching me.

    We play a game.
    The rules were never written, but we both know them by heart:
    You may observe, but you must not be seen.
    You may want, but you must not reach.
    You may think it, but you must not say it.
    You never ask. I never answer.

    We have played this game for two years.
    I thought we could play it for a lifetime.

    —— Until one rain‑stopped night, he knelt before my chair and placed his fingers in my palm.

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    24 Apr 2026