icouldntsleep
Fandoms
Recent works
-
now that you're dead, it hurts by icouldntsleep
Fandoms: 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)
20 May 2026
Tags
Summary
It was always just him, he’d thought, that felt this way. That the reason he couldn’t leave Lan Wangji alone, even though the older man begged for it every other minute, was because he felt this spiritual connection to him that he didn’t feel with anyone else.
It took death to realize it was reciprocated, of course. Because Wei Wuxian can’t have anything nice.
Except A-Yuan, he supposes. And Wen Ning. And— the knowledge of what could have been.
-
Tags
Summary
“Aren’t you the same?” Eiji points out, voice rising. “You only see me for who I was when I first came here! I’m different! I can never go back to who I was back then. I’ll never be that stupid idiot again!”
“Eiji!” Ash shouts back. “That’s exactly the point! You’re becoming just like me. You’re becoming–”
“Dark? Cruel? Bloodthirsty?” Eiji interrupts. “Let me tell you something, Ash, my biggest regret after coming here is that I didn’t put a bullet through Golzine’s brain the first time I saw him!”
-
if i could trade his life for mine by icouldntsleep
Fandoms: 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)
12 Mar 2026
Tags
Summary
But he is still a boy. Even at nineteen, Lan Wangji can’t help but worry. He had no one to worry over him when he was that age, and he wants A-Yuan to know that Lan Wangji cares for him.
So on the rare days like this, where A-Yuan comes to him with puffy eyes and disheveled robes, Lan Wangji does not ask questions when he ushers the teenager into the Jingshi. He simply walks him towards the bed, letting him sit on the edge.
OR
Lan Wangji takes care of his son like he would in times of old.
-
i can finally ask, how have you been? by icouldntsleep
Fandoms: 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
09 Feb 2026
Tags
Summary
As he raises his gaze, he catches the eye of someone across the room.
He recognizes him instantly.
This man has been watching Lan Wangji very closely the entire time. He has no idea what the man could possibly want with him, but every time he’s looked up, the man has been in the corner of his eyes somewhere.
Something is so utterly familiar about him, and Lan Wangji just can’t put his finger on what.
-
the world will carry on by icouldntsleep
Fandoms: 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)
04 Feb 2026
Tags
Summary
“Do you understand how serious this is?” His father hisses. “This is a severe lapse in judgement from you, Lan Zhan. No one else can matter. You are better than all of them. It does not matter what they do, and you know better than to show awe like that.”
Lan Zhan nods, a sinking feeling in his gut.
“You will not speak to him again.” His father says coldly. “You will make sure that he does not speak to you. This will not happen again, do you understand? You will not waste all of the effort I’ve put into you on a boy.”
Recent bookmarks
-
Tags
Summary
A meet-cute at sunrise. Sort of?
Bookmarked by icouldntsleep
27 Apr 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
I HATE THEM SO BADDDDDD UGGGGHHHHH THISIS SO GOOD
-
Tags
Summary
Wrists tied to the headboard and a harshly spoken command to ‘stay still,’ but if he wanted him to just lie still why didn’t he buy a goddamn blowup doll instead of—
“Ash?” Eiji’s soft voice breaks through his thoughts.
Something as simple as a stay in a hotel room on a road trip can bring the past to the surface.
-
Tags
Summary
“So you know about me,” Ash says. Not a question. Eiji already knew some of it. Ash was pretty blunt about how he knew about Club Cod. Runaway kids like me, he’d said.
“Ash—”
“Don’t bother pretending,” Ash interrupts. “I overheard.”
“I do know,” Eiji agrees. He’s looking directly at Ash. Ash is the one who can’t meet his gaze. “And I’m sorry.”
After starting the road trip to California, Ash confronts Eiji about what he learned about Ash.
Bookmarked by icouldntsleep
09 Apr 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
they didn’t have shorter’s gay candy they should be fined
“there is no him and eiji” shutupshutupshutup kyskys
-
No more sacrifices. I want us both to live. by chaos101
Fandoms: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
29 Sep 2021
Tags
Summary
So it’s okay to die here, right? It’s not ... suicide. Not really. Not when the person dying is someone who never should have existed in the first place. It’s just putting the universe back in order. Taking a thorn out of the side of Lady Luck or Mother Earth or God or whatever the fuck kind of deity you pray to when your soulmate was shot and all you want in the world is for him to survive instead of you.
And he does.
And you don’t.
And it’s okay.
Everything is as it should be.
Ash survives, too.
-
Tags
Summary
"I was, like—desirable, I guess, when I was a kid, right?"
Eiji tries not to wince.
"And a lot's changed," Ash continues. "I mean, I'm taller now. I've gained weight. I look—older, in every way. And ..." He looks down at his shoulder, at a particularly bad scar that's visible to Eiji even in the darkness. "My skin is—yeah. Now."
Eiji bites at his lip. There's a lot to unpack with what Ash just said, isn't there? The fact that he associates being attractive so strongly with looking young is ... honestly a little horrifying, though it does make sense.
Hm.
"I like you how you are now, Ash," Eiji murmurs. "And how you'll be tomorrow, and in our future. You know why?"
Ash shakes his head.
"Because it's our future. Together. And that means far more to me."
Eiji kisses Ash's scars.