Chapter Text
Steve starts issuing orders as the quinjet lands. They were going into the fight mostly blind, having heard the alert and left the tower in a rush. All he knew was that some idiot in a cape was apparently standing in the middle of Central Park, threatening to unleash his ‘hordes of destruction’. No one was even sure what said hordes consisted of, but they were hoping they could contain the guy before he got around to unleashing them.
Tony and Sam had done a fly over while they waited for the rest of the team to arrive, and they now landed next to Steve to fill him in as he studied a map of the area.
“Okay, Hawkeye and Thor – take the south approach. Hawkeye get as close as you can without being seen and get eyes on. Thor, stay out of sight, we don’t want to spook the guy early. Widow and Falcon, you guys go east. Widow, take this path here and get close. Falcon, stay back and cover this area in case he tries to….” Steve trails off as a high-pitched buzzing fills his ears. It’s painful in its intensity and he clamps his hands over his ears and hunches over.
It only dampens the noise slightly, and he feels a tug on his wrist that makes him open his eyes- huh, he can’t remember closing them – and look into Tony’s. Steve can see his husband’s lips moving but can’t hear anything over the God-awful noise. Why isn’t anyone else reacting? Can’t they hear it? Tony turns to say something to someone, probably Bruce, and Steve can see the others hovering behind Tony, watching Steve with concern.
Hands come from behind him, one cool metal and one covered in leather, to cover his own, helping to block the noise. It’s enough of a barrier that Steve no longer feels like his brain is going to start leaking out his ears and he sighs slightly in relief and slumps back against his best friend. He wants to ask how James knew, but he wouldn’t be able to hear the answer anyway.
Clint steps into his line of vision and gestures to get his attention. Once Steve is focusing on him, Clint swiftly signs a question – You ok? Steve nods. Clint continues, We think the noise is just too high for us to hear, but you’ve got that crazy super soldier senses thing going on. James can just barely hear it, and Bruce says that the Hulk is freaking out slightly. He has him under control at the moment, something about the noise being a distraction, who knows? Anyway, Stark wants to know if you think the noise is mechanical or something else. Like, does it sound like a machine we can hunt down and turn off? James can’t hear it well enough to tell.
Steve analyzes the noise through the two layers of hands and then says softly, “I think it is. It sounds almost like a generator of some kind.”
Got it. Don’t worry, Cap, we’ll find it. Even if we have to use James like a tracking dog. Clint grins at the growl Steve can feel rumbling through James’s chest. Then he turns and starts back towards the rest of the team. There is a brief discussion and they look like they are about to split up to go find the machine when Steve senses a change in the noise.
“Wait- something is different.” He calls, and the others return to him. “The noise changed – almost like it went from idling to in gear? Like a car? If it is a machine, I think we are about to find out what it does.”
This news does not go over well, but before the team can take off the sound thickens, tightens, swirls into greater and greater thrums that cause Steve to cry out in pain and then…..
Silence.
The sharp shift causes Steve to sway slightly, but he cautiously pulls his and James’s hands off his ears. The noise is gone, but in its place is a sound Steve was positive he would never hear again.
“What the hell?”
“Dum Dum?” Steve asks incredulously as his head snaps to the side where he heard the voice.
Standing in a ring around a small campfire off to his right are the Howling Commandos, including younger versions of him and Bucky. They look like they all just jumped to their feet, and are debating whether to shoot at the people who suddenly appeared at the edge of their camp. It is Steve’s question that has them hesitating.
Steve reaches up and pulls his cowl down so they can see his face unhampered. “Look, I don’t have any idea what is going on but can we agree not to shoot one another for the time being?” The question is directed both at the Commandos and at James, who he can see out of the corner of his eye has a gun in his flesh hand. The Commandos look back at their Steve for his orders and he slowly nods. “Let’s see if we can figure this out. If that really is me somehow I would rather not kill me.”
The Commandos relax slightly at his words and lower their weapons. James waits until they do and then slips his gun back into his holster. Before anything else happens, Steve wants to see who all is with him.
With a raised eyebrow, he turns his back to the Commandos, ignoring James’s displeased growl, and looks to see if any of the other Avengers ended up coming with. Turns out all of them did, and they are standing behind him with their weapons held loosely. That would probably explain the Commandos’ reaction, not that seeing a clone of your commander appearing from thin air wouldn’t be enough.
The members of his team are having quite the variety of reactions, he notes with amusement. Clint is grinning widely while looking back and forth between Steve, James and the Commandos. Sam is uneasy but obviously intrigued. Thor is standing calmly to the side, apparent time travel not enough to ruffle the god’s good cheer. Natasha has her poker face on so there was no way to tell what she was thinking. Tony is unreadable as well, since his mask is down, but Steve has a suspicion that he is in shock, seeing the men who were his childhood heroes again. He had known the Commandos growing up, of course, between Peggy and Howard, but seeing them all alive – not to mention young – was probably screwing with his head. Bruce was the most immediate concern. He was a pale shade of green.
“Bruce?” Steve asks.
Bruce grimaces, “Just need a minute.”
Steve accepts that and turns to James. If anyone was likely to freak out about the situation it was either him or James. Steve is trying very hard not to think about what is happening in order to stave off the panic attack he can feel building. If James reverts back to the Winter Soldier, he is not sure he will be able to keep himself together long enough to help. Luckily, James seems to be handling the whole thing better than Steve. He is in his usual battleground position just off to Steve’s left and back a bit, though he is hovering closer like he does when he is nervous. Shooting his best friend what he hopes is a reassuring smile, Steve takes a breath and turns back to the Commandos.
They rearranged while he was checking the Avengers. Their Steve is now in front, their Bucky in the same place as his, he notes with a snort. Some things never change. The others are arranged out behind them, mirroring the Avengers from across the fire. Their Steve is eyeing Steve warily. “Alright, so who - or what- are you?”
Steve raises a brow. “I’m you. And no I am not some freaky Hydra clone or anything like that. I’m you but…older.” There is really no way to explain the situation without sounding like he has lost his mind. Hell, he is not even convinced of that.
“Older? Are you telling me you are from the future?” His counterpart sounds skeptical.
Steve has to fight down a hysterical laugh at the absurdity of it all. For the last several years he has been known as the man from the past that was pushed into an unfamiliar future. Now he is the man from the future pushed back into the familiar past, but he dragged all his modern counterparts along with him.
Steve manages to get himself under control and looks at his past self. Thinking furiously, he feels an idea take form. “Yes. I am you but a few years older. And I have a thought about how to prove it to you. Bucky,” he says, pointing at the younger Bucky across the fire. Steve knows that the key to this is to get Bucky on his side. He has always trusted Bucky more than he trusted himself. If he can get Bucky to accept it, he knows his younger version will too.
“January 1938.” Steve says quietly and he watches as both the young version of himself and Bucky stiffen. He can feel James shift closer. Steve makes a quick decision and continues in Gaelic. Neither he nor Bucky was ever fluent, but Steve had picked up some from his ma and whatever Steve learned, Bucky learned. “Beidh mé ag troid i gcónaí le haghaidh tú.”
Bucky blinks several times and clears his throat before saying, “It’s Steve. I don’t understand how or what or any of that, but that is Steve Rogers.”
The tension in Steve’s shoulders eases and a real smile grows on his face. “I don’t understand the how or what either to be honest. We were on a mission and then there was this horrendous noise and then we ended up here.” He shrugs.
Steve surveys the Commandos and then the Avengers and the surroundings. He comes to a quick decision. “I’m assuming we are behind enemy lines because Lord knows we spent enough time there. I have no idea how we got here or how long we are going to be here so I am gonna go ahead and do some introductions. I will give a quick run down of skills too since we may have to fight at some point and that will go a hell of a lot smoother if everyone knows what the others can do. Actually, on that note…” He turns to his younger self who is already shaking his head.
“You are me.” He says. “That means you already know everything in my head, including all these guys’ skill sets.” He sweeps an arm out to encompass the Commandos. “And you know all of theirs.” This comes with a nod toward the Avengers. “Plus you have more experience than me. I’ll follow your lead.”
Steve nods. He isn’t all that surprised. It is what he would have done, after all. Then he tries to figure out where to start.
“Alright, this is going to get weird. There are some things I have to explain and others that I can’t explain so you will have to accept that there is a reason for what I hold back, understood?”
He looks at the Commandos who all nod or grunt in affirmation.
“First thing you need to know. From my perspective, it has been give or take five years since I was here. But we all,” he gestures toward the Avengers and hesitates for a moment before continuing. “Before we showed up here we were in the year 2017.” His younger self blinks rapidly and Bucky sputters before saying, “So you’ve done this time travel thing before? Goddammit Stevie you are gonna be the death of me.”
The Avengers all tense, and Steve forces words past the lump in his throat before the Commandos notice. He manages to only sound a little chocked when he says “In a manner of speaking I have. Best just leave it at that.”
Clearing his throat, he straightens his back and then finds an honest grin for the men he once commanded. “This is going to go straight to your heads, but I don’t have to introduce you. The Howling Commandos are famous – museum exhibits and everything. These guys already know who you are and what you do. Of course almost everything in the books and exhibits is a lie,” he smirks at them, “but the basic facts are true enough.”
The Commandos take that news just how he had expected, grinning and jeering at him. “As for my team…”
Steve tries to figure out the best way to do this. It is going to be a shit show no matter what but maybe he can keep the trouble till the end.
“We all have our names, just like I’m Captain America, and we use those on mission so I’ll provide them as well.”
Bucky arches one eyebrow. “You leading a gang of superheros now? And you didn’t invite us? Even me? Now Stevie that’s just damn rude.” Steve can hear the hurt lurking under the joking tone and winces.
The tension is thicker this time, thick enough that his younger counterpart catches his eye with a question clear on his face. Not now is his unspoken reply. His younger self dips his chin slightly in acknowledgment and snakes out an arm to cuff Bucky on the back of his head. “Let him-me talk, Jerk.”
Bucky scowls at him and replies, “That is gonna get fucking confusing real quick.”
Steve is the one who replies. “We should probably figure out some way of differentiating.”
His counterpart shrugs, “I can go by Rogers.”
Steve nods. “And this lot usually just calls me Cap so I can go by that. So - these are the Avengers. This is Clint Barton, also known as Hawkeye. Best damn sniper I have ever seen.” Clint grins and waves his bow at Bucky who looks vaguely affronted.
Dum Dum snorts before Bucky can say anything though. “Better than Sarge? I don’t believe it. Can’t believe you’d even say shit like that Cap. I mean, seriously, is your sniper carrying a fucking bow and arrow?”
Clint moves so quickly that Steve would have missed it if he hadn’t been expecting it. In one fluid motion the archer whips an arrow from his quiver, draws, releases and is back in his original stance, grin in place, before the arrow has even pinned Dum Dum’s hat to the tree behind him. Morita releases a long whistle through his teeth. Steve’s lips twitch and he continues as if nothing happened.
“Next to him is Natasha Romanov, also called Black Widow. She can kill you in more ways than you can come up with together, and you’d be dead before you realized she was there.” Natasha’s small smile is one of her most terrifying and not one of the Commandos is stupid enough to make a comment.
“Over there is Sam Wilson, also known as Falcon. He was Air Force Pararescue – the military version of CAP.” This gets looks of respect from the Commandos. “As for his what he can do? Sam, want to show them? Keep in mind we are in enemy territory.” Sam grins and extends his wings. He takes off and circles the clearing once, keeping below the tree line, before landing back in his original spot. Gabe is the first Commando to find his voice. “That is fucking amazing.” Sam grins as murmurers of assent come from the others.
“I know.” He replies easily. “And Cap, Natasha and I only had to break into one secure military compound to get them.” Steve feels a blush creep up his cheeks as the Commandos laugh and Bucky scowls at him.
Steve waits for them to quiet down, then continues. “The guy over by the tree is Dr. Bruce Banner. Let’s just say he has an anger management issue and you all will not provoke him.” The last is said in a tone of command that has the Commandos straightening and nodding. “We try to keep him out of the fights as often as possible, but he is… impressive when he does join. Hopefully we don’t need him. Bruce also provides most of our medical care, since none of us are too keen about doctors.”
Bruce simply waves shyly at the Commandos while retorting, “Still not that kind of doctor.”
Steve sends him a smile and then says, “This is where things get odd.”
“Just get on with it Cap.” Is the ever-helpful response.
“This is Thor Odinson. He actually doesn’t have another name, we just call him Thor.”
Dernier interrupts. “Je suis désolé, avez-vous dit Thor? Comme dans le Dieu des dieux Norvégien Dieu du tonnerre?” I’m sorry, did you just say Thor? As in the God damn Norse God of Thunder?
Thor looks delighted that someone recognized his name. “Bien rencontré, frère de bouclier!” He booms. Well met, shield brother!
Dernier blinks at him owlishly and turns back to Steve. “Thor?” He asks helplessly. “Tu as vraiment un putain de dieu sur ton équipe?” You actually have a fucking god on your team?
“Il est grand d'avoir autour.” He is great to have around. Steve grins at the look on Dernier’s face. “For those of you who are not Dernier, Thor is the Norse god of Thunder. His talents include flying, calling down lightening and destroying things with Mjolnir.” Thor happily swings his hammer in front of him.
“Hey Tones?” Steve asks, turning to his husband. “Mind losing the helmet at least?” There is a pause and then the armor is shuffling, pulling away so Tony can step out.
“Sentry mode.” He orders off handedly, then frowns when the suit doesn’t respond. “Dammit. No JARVIS, no sentry mode.” Tony rolls his eyes. “Damn thing is fritzy since the jump anyway.”
Steve’s instantly worried. “The arc reactor?”
Tony stops him with a wave. “Feels fine. Suit is alright, just a little clunky without JARVIS to help with the interfacing.”
They are interrupted by an incredulous Bucky. “Did that guy just come out of a fucking robot?”
Tony spins to face him. “I did indeed buttercup. And it’s not a robot, it’s my suit. And it happens to be my newest suit so be nice. That thing costs more than you could spend in your lifetime.”
Bucky looks like he is caught between amused and offended, a place frequented by anyone who spends time around Tony.
“This is Tony Stark.” Steve puts in before Bucky can land on offended. “Howard’s son.”
This cause an uproar that takes several minutes to calm. While the Commandos are ranting and raving, Tony looks up at Steve with understanding in his dark eyes. “You need to not be married for awhile?” He asks in an undertone.
Steve grimaces. “It’s not me.” He says pointing at his chest. “It’s me.” He continues with a gesture at Rogers, who, he notices with alarm, seems to be studying his and Tony’s interaction.
“It’s ok babe.” Tony says. “Life is different in this time. I am not going to put you in danger. I am not going to put Rogers in danger. Do you want me to take off my ring?” He asks quietly.
Steve is shaking his head forcefully before the question is even fully formed. “Absolutely not.” He retorts vehemently. “I put that ring on you and it will stay there.”
Tony smiles at him fondly. “Calm yourself. I was just asking.”
It takes another minute for the Commandos to quiet down enough to hear Steve. “Tony is also known as Iron Man, and he has the suit. It’s got lots of firepower and it can fly.”
Now for the bad part. Steve hesitates, wondering exactly how to do this.
“So Cap, are you going to introduce us to that frankly terrifying shadow you have there?” Monty’s voice breaks into his musings.
Steve turns to James. “It’s up to you.” He breathes, so only James can hear him. James reaches out and grips Steve’s elbow for a moment, then he lifts his hands to remove his mask and goggles. Turning back to the Commandos and blocking their view of James in the process he says, “This is the Winter Soldier. He is sometimes called the Ghost. He is almost as strong as I am and he is absolutely lethal at both close and long range.” A brush of fingertips across his lower back signals that James is ready. Steve swallows and then says bluntly as he steps to the side, “His name is James Buchanan Barnes.”
Dead silence fills the clearing. The Commandos are all staring at James, most with shocked disbelief. Bucky is looking at his future self with a dizzying array of emotions crossing his face. Steve doesn’t even try to decipher them. He is more focused on James. Reaching out, he places a gentle hand on James’s shoulder and feels him lean into it to ground himself.
It is Steve’s younger voice that breaks the silence. “Buck…” It is a broken noise. He is staring at his best friend’s future, pain and horror plain on his face. Rogers has his hand fisted in the hem of his best friend’s shirt in a gesture that Steve is very familiar with. He does it to James all the time. Needing the contact to reassure himself that James is there, that it wasn’t an illusion.
Steve feels Tony fidget uncomfortably at his side. It is going against every instinct he has not to comfort Steve when he looks that broken, despite it not being his Steve. Steve shifts his hand slightly so that it brushes the back of Tony’s and his husband calms at the touch.
Bucky stumbles forward, closing the gap and dragging Rogers, still attached to his shirt, along with him. James reaches up to grab Steve’s hand where it rests on his shoulder. He uses the hold to pull Steve forward with him as he heads toward his younger self. Steve goes easily, gesturing with his free hand to keep the rest back.
The four continue forward until they are only a couple feet apart. The movement caused the firelight to glint off James’s metal arm, and caused Morita to exclaim, “Holy Fuck! How in the hell-“
Steve cut him off harshly. “Don’t. Don’t ask. I told you there were things I couldn’t explain and this is one of them. Suffice to say that a lot of fucked up shit has gone down since we were with you last.”
He takes a shuddering breath to try and steady himself, locking eyes with Rogers and for one brief moment letting all the guilt, horror, pain and anguish he still feels over James show in his eyes. Rogers chokes on a breath and clenches Bucky’s shirt tighter. Steve can feel James lay a gentle hand over his where it has migrated to the straps of James’s tactical vest. Steve drags his eyes over to meet James’s.
With a rueful glance at their counterparts, James lifts his hands and signs quickly. You know I don’t blame you for anything that happened. None of it was your fault and you need to stop blaming yourself.
“Was that sign language?” Rogers asks, clearing his throat. “Is Buck – I mean are you – can you?”
James snorts a little. “I can hear just fine punk. Quit your stammering.” His voice is different now, deeper and huskier, almost a growl, but the tone is all Bucky. Steve can see some of the tension ease from the Commandos at the sound.
Clint pipes up from behind them. “I’m the deaf one.” Steve can hear the smirk in his voice. He rolls his eyes.
“Clearly he has aids so he can hear you. We all just learned to sign so that he didn’t have to wear them at home all the time.”
James speaks up. “Jim is still looking like his brain is about to explode. Like Steve said, we can’t explain how it happened, but yes this is my arm now.” He extends his left arm, the mechanics whirling quietly as he shifts. “Stark’s given me some pretty sweet upgrades, not that that should surprise any of you what with him being Howard’s brat and all.”
Steve shoots Tony a quick glance and he can see Tony’s expression shuttering. He turns back to James and signs Buck you asshole, do you ever think about the words coming out of your mouth? James looks at him blankly for a minute, then glances at Tony and winces at his expression. “Fuck.” He mutters. James moves to Tony, whispers something to him briefly and waits until Tony blinks and his expression softens before nodding and moving back to Steve.
All the byplay has given Rogers and Bucky a chance to compose themselves, and now Bucky asks hesitantly, “The arm – you can control it? Can you feel anything?”
James laughs. “My reflexes with this thing rival Steve’s. I control it just like you control your arms. You don’t really think all that much about how to move them right? Just think about what you want to do and then do it? Same thing. As for feeling – right now I have some pretty sensitive pressure sensors in it. Means I can tell when I am touching something. But I can’t feel heat or cold or anything like that, and surface textures are a bit beyond me.”
“Working on that.” Tony interjects from behind them. “If you would sit still for five fucking minutes and let me test somethings out. But no….you would rather suffer from substandard tech when you have a technical genius with a full lab just a few floors down because…wait remind me again why you refuse Barnes?”
Some of the Commandos are blinking at Tony in fascination and Steve has to fight down a laugh. Even experience with Howard wasn’t enough to truly prepare you for the force of nature that was Tony Stark.
“Because the last time I let you play with my arm, you didn’t let me leave the lab for three days! If Steve hadn’t come back from his mission then and dragged you out I am pretty sure we’d still be down there!” James retorts, then less joking, “But I may need you to take a look when – if – we get back. It’s been a little strange since we got here.”
“Guess the jump wasn’t great for the electronics.” Tony mused. “Implies some sort of electrical current was used in the jump. Backs up what Cap was saying about the noise.”
“Ok so now that introductions are out of the way and you believe we are who we say we are can we all relax?” Steve addresses the question to the entire group.
It is Thor, of all people, who breaches the divide first, stamping over and dropping himself by the fire before turning to Dum Dum and inquiring, “Have you any sustenance to share, shield brother?”
Dum Dum stares at him for a moment, then shrugs and offers Thor a ration kit before sitting down next to him. That is all it takes before the others start to move back to the fireside, Avengers and Commandos mixing and cautiously making attempts at conversation.
Steve gestures James, Tony, Bruce, Bucky and Rogers over to a space just slightly removed from the others.
“Ok Tony, any ideas on how we got here? Or how we get home?” He asks.
Tony scratches at his beard and replies “Well we know it was some kind of machine. With what we know about your, James’s and Hulk’s hearing ranges I think Bruce and I can piece together some info there.”
“Hang on,” Bucky jumps in. “James and Hulk?”
James looks tempted to smack his younger self upside the head. He snorted, waving a hand in the air. “James you idiot. Stevie is the only one who calls me Bucky anymore.”
Steve winces slightly. “Yeah I ..uh…was somewhat less than successful at the name switch. Only time I ever called you James it was followed by Buchanan Barnes.”
James smiles at him. “Steve I told you it doesn’t bother me when you do it.”
“I know I just….anyway,” he switches topics quickly after noticing the growing alarm in their younger counterparts faces. “Hulk is Bruce, in a manner of speaking. Sorry Bruce.”
Bruce shook his head ruefully. “It’s alright Cap. Hard to explain it otherwise. And Tony is right. Between what we know about that and how you described it as it was happening, we are definitely talking some kind of machine. We could probably figure out a few more probable details, but I am not sure it is worthwhile. Even if we could figure it out – which we can’t –“ Tony makes a disgruntled noise, “there is no way we could build anything like that here. I think we just have to hope it is temporary or that nutjob brings us back.”
“Or until Coulson figures out what happened?” Steve asks with a slight smile.
“As much as I hate to admit it, Bruce is right.” Tony grumbled. He was frowning and rubbing his chest, Steve noted with alarm.
“Tony.” Tony glanced up at his tone, then glanced down at his chest as if he hadn’t realized what he was doing. With a quick smirk he quipped, “Just the cold. Makes it ache. I promise I’ll let you know if anything feels off.” His eyes are serious above his smirk, so Steve nods.
Steve ignored the questioning looks from the two younger versions and motioned for them all to head back to the fire.
In their absence the others had succeeded in throwing together some kind of dinner, and portions were being passed around. Steve sat down on an empty log between Tony and Rogers. Steve felt Tony stiffen slightly as Gabe, who was on Tony’s other side, tried to pass him a serving. Leaning forward, Steve snagged the bowl Gabe was holding out, took a bite and then gently placed it in Tony’s lap. Tony sent him a grateful look and started jabbing suspiciously at the contents of the bowl. Leaving him to it, Steve turned to find Rogers watching the exchange.
“Tony doesn’t like to be handed things.” He said simply. Then he caught motion out of the corner of his eye and grinned at his younger self and Bucky, who was just beyond him on the log. “Watch.” Steve tilted his head just slightly to where James was slinking around the fire towards where Natasha and Clint were sitting. He crept up behind an oblivious Morita until he was just a hairsbreadth away. Then he leaned down and growled, “You’re in my spot.”
“JESUS MARY AND JOSEPH” Morita yelped and toppled off the log. The others burst out laughing, and James glanced over and winked at Steve before settling calmly on the log next to Natasha, who hadn’t reacted to his appearance with anything more than a quirked eyebrow.
His counterpart looked a little more at ease as he watched. “Buck is still a little shit then?” He asked in an undertone to Steve. He nodded. “Some things don’t change.”
They lapse into silence and Steve listens to the voices of his friends that he had long since said goodbye to. He doesn’t even realize that his breath has started to quicken and hitch until James appears behind his shoulder and hauls him to his feet. He guides him away from the fire and through the trees until they are out of earshot. Tony follows a few moments later and says, “Thor is distracting them.”
As if this were a signal he was unaware he was waiting for, Steve’s knees went out from under him and he crumpled to the ground.
“Hey, hey, you’re ok babe.” Tony kneeled down next to Steve and drew him in.
Steve curled into his husband’s embrace and gasped, “I can’t – my chest – Tony- “
“Breathe hon. I know, it’s a lot to take in. Everyone is taken care of, James and I got you, take whatever time you need.”
“They are all here. I never thought I would see them again. I never got to say goodbye and now they are here and – what am I supposed to do? How do I just pretend that everything is fine?”
It is, surprisingly, James who has the answer. “Steve, what did you do when you found out Peggy was alive?”
“I – I went to visit. I just wanted to grab what time I had with her.”
“And knowing that she was dying and her time was limited?”
“I tried to make the most of the time we had.”
“So do the same here. We could get dragged back to our time in an hour or weeks. No way to tell.” Ignoring Tony’s grumble of annoyance, James continued softly, “We just appreciate the time we have with them now, ok punk?”
Steve gave a half-hearted smile, “How’d you get so wise, jerk?”
Something flickered behind James’s eyes and Steve straightened. “Buck?”
James shook his head ruefully. “It’s nothing, Steve. Just…” He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “No one expected you to live as long as you have Stevie. I spent our childhood being told not to get too attached to you. Never listened, but I was always terrified that each winter would be the one to finally take you away. I always tried to make the most of the time I had with you, just in case…”
Steve lurches to his feet and pulls his best friend in. James’s arms go around him and they simply stand there for a long moment as Steve fights back tears.
Finally, Steve pulls back. He turns and Tony puts a hand on his shoulder. “Are you ok, babe?”
Steve leans down and presses his forehead to Tony’s. “Not really, but I can keep it together.”
“We can stay longer.”
Steve shakes his head and glances around quickly before kissing Tony swiftly. He has to take a moment to make sure he is composed and then leads James and Tony back to the fire.
They have only gone a few steps before they hear heckling. Raising his brow at the other men, Steve picks up his pace. He strides into the clearing to see Jim bent over something while the rest of the Commandos and the Avengers mock him good naturedly.
Steve puts on his ‘Captain America is disappointed in you” face and props his hands on his hips before clearing his throat. The Commandos immediately straighten and shut up. The Avengers quiet too, but they are still grinning.
“You realize we could hear you from way the hell back there.”
“Sorry, Cap.” Monty apologizes, the other Commandos echoing him.
“Funsucker.” Clint remarks with a grin. Gabe turns to him in surprise.
“Yeah, Cap, no harm in a little challenge is there?” Sam asks with a smirk.
Morita looks back and forth between the Avengers and Steve and asks slowly, “What?”
Steve tries to keep his face straight as he replies, “This lot is a bunch of insubordinate assholes. I try my best but they still don’t give me the proper respect. Should have seen them before I got my hands on them. Bunch of lone wolves that no one would work with.”
The Commandos stare at him for a moment and then Bucky snorts and doubles over laughing. The Avengers quickly follow and Steve feels a grin creeping over his face despite his best efforts.
“Seriously, though, what the hell are you doing?”
“Your boy Thor here said that we wouldn’t be able to lift his hammer.” Dum Dum explained.
“So of course you had to try.”
“Obviously! It has to be some kind of trick. Not even Rogers can lift it.”
“I know.” Steve laughs. “I tried before.”
“But you were actually close.” Tony said. “The thing creaked at least.”
“Try it now!” Clint demands.
Unease flickers through Steve and he glances around the circle before he shakes his head. “Like I said, it didn’t work before, no reason it would work now…”
“Nuh uh.” Sam says, climbing over the log he had been sitting on and dragging Steve over to Mjolnir. “One more attempt.”
Steve sighs and wraps one hand half-heartedly around the handle. He tugs lightly and stumbles as the hammer lifts easily. All noise around the fire ceases abruptly as Steve stares at the hammer in his hand. He raises his eyes to meet Thor’s knowing ones. Thor is the only one that looks like he anticipated this.
“But… how... I’m not… there is no way I am worthy.” He protests, shoving the hammer in Thor’s direction.
“Perhaps that is why she has deemed you such.” He says cryptically before taking pity on Steve and taking Mjolnir from him. Steve backs away from him and Tony snags his arm and guides him to a seat on a log. As soon as he was sitting, the others were clambering around Thor, demanding they get another try.
Tony looked at him critically. Steve managed to scrounge up a smile for his husband. “I am not going to fall apart Tones.”
“No.” Tony agreed. “You are far too stubborn. But today has been – a lot.” He finishes lamely. It startles a laugh out of Steve.
“Because normally our lives are so calm and normal and boring?”
“Well, not exactly.” Tony concedes, with a gentle smile. His body language changes slightly, closing off, but before Steve can ask, the log jostles as Rogers sits down next to him, Bucky following.
“Didn’t want to try again?” Tony asks the two. They exchange a look and then shake their heads. They lapse into silence again, but this time Steve focuses on the laughter of his friends and family and sinks into a peaceful calm.
Rogers watches the assembled teams for a few minutes and then asks in an undertone, “I know there are things you can’t explain. But can I ask you something?” At Steve’s cautious nod, he continues. “I know things have happened. Bad things. Definitely to Buck,” here he swallowed thickly and studied James across the fire. “But also to you. And your team – none of the other Commandos are on it, which speaks for itself there. And you wouldn’t just leave your team if you weren’t struggling earlier. I guess what I am trying to ask is…did you all start this haunted or is this a result of what has happened to you?”
Steve can’t fight back the hysterical laugh that breaks out at the question, biting his fist to muffle the noise. Tony turns to him in concern and he manages to repeat the question for him.
Tony grins and answers the startled younger man. “If you give Steve a moment to collect himself I am sure he’ll answer you himself, but being on this team hasn’t made us more haunted – it fixed us. All of us. Well maybe not Thor so much, it is a little hard to tell with him. But honestly look at the team. Three of us were active duty soldiers in war zones. Three are ex-assassins. Every single one of us has been tortured more than once and not one of us can sleep through a week without nightmares. The whole crew has PTSD in some form or another, er sorry, shell-shock? Is that the term now? Regardless the point stands. Movie night is always a challenge because we have to avoid all the triggers.”
Rogers and Bucky are now looking thoroughly horrified, but Steve has managed to get himself under control.
Tony continues in a softer tone, “So yeah, we are a pretty fucked up group, but we are a family. We protect one another and help one another through all that shit. We understand one another enough to be able to help, because of all that. You think we are haunted now, you should have seen us before we came together. Steve wasn’t really kidding earlier. No one would work with anyone. Well, except Natasha and Hawkass. Natasha actually wrote my recommendation and specifically said I was ‘not recommended’. Sam was the only mostly well-adjusted one – but even he dropped everything at the drop of a hat to dive right back into the chaos. I think he wasn’t coping with real life as well as he seemed. None of us were coping well. Several of us attempted suicide. Didn’t take, obviously, but not for lack of trying. This team saved all of us. What you see now isn’t haunted. It’s healed.”
When Steve looks back to see how the younger men were taking this, he finds them looking…rather blank. “Yeah, Tony has that effect on people. He doesn’t quite grasp the concept of too much information.”
“No..I..uh…yeah just a lot to process.” Rogers murmurers. They watch the good-natured bickering happening on the far side of the fire as Rogers and Bucky try to deal with the abundance of information they were just given.
After a few minutes, Steve turns to Rogers and says “Look, we don’t know how long we are stuck here. So you mind if we tag along with you? I don’t know where you are headed, but it’s not like we have anywhere in particular to be. Plus, Buck and I have been here before and while everyone on my team has spent some time in war zones of one form or another, the things I saw here were….”
Bucky and Rogers nod. “You know exactly how I feel about working with people other than my team behind enemy lines.” Rogers says with a wry half smile. “But this is my team in a way. You trust them like you trust the Howlies right?”
“More. They aren’t just my team. They are my family. I trust them the way that right now you only trust Bucky.” Steve answers without hesitation. Rogers tilts his head and eyes Tony considering. Tony just raises his eyebrows and stays quiet for once in his life.
Bucky looks between the three of them and then narrows his eyes at Steve suspiciously. Steve arranges his face in his most neutral expression. He knows that it is probably a wasted effort, Bucky has always been able to read him, but he maintains the mask regardless.
Bucky nods slowly and says, eyes never leaving Steve’s, “I think they should come. They could be useful. We are on our way to take down another base. Think you can help us out with that?”
Tony answers with a grin. “Taking out a Hydra base with the Howling Commandos? It is like a childhood dream come true.”
Steve rolls his eyes. Not long after he and Rogers set a watch rotation, making sure there is a Commando and Avenger on each rotation just for everyone’s piece of mind. It was a little early for the Avengers, but he could tell that the Commandos were exhausted and his team all had experience in getting shut eye when they could. There was a little grumbling, but everyone settled down quickly.
Steve stretched out next to the fire with James on one side and a gap on the other for Tony, who was on the first watch. He closed his eyes and fell asleep to the familiar scents and sounds of his teams.