Work Text:
"Just a few more minutes and you will reach a state of complete understanding. You will find true peace and true purpose. Now, breathe in-"
The soothing voice that came out of the radio speakers was suddenly drowned out by a guttural roar, echoing through the sewers. Splinter, who had been balancing on his tail for more than twenty-four hours, lost his footing and had to resume his normal posture before falling to the ground in the most humiliating way.
His eyes grew wide and his lips were just a thin line as Leonardo and Michelangelo tried to pull Raphael into the lair. He wasn't angry - he was furious.
"Let me go! I will find them! I will ki-"
"Calm down, brah!"
"Shut up and let me GO!"
Raphael pulled on Mikey's golden necklace to throw him out of balance, before roughly shoving him against Donatello and out of the way. After that, he faced his big brother Leo and snarled at him. His voice wasn't more than a dangerous hiss, and his eyes were narrowed to piercing slits. "Lemme go, Leo. I won't ask twice!"
"No, you won't!", came the deafening voice of their father. It was only then that Raphael paused in his tracks.
The giant rat slowly made his way to Michelangelo and Donatello, touching their forearms in concern, before facing the red-clad turtle again.
"Care to explain what's going on? Or will a day in the Hashi loose your tongues?"
Raphael only huffed, his hands clenched into fists. His breathing was ragged and hard, his nostrils flared as Leonardo let go of his arm and kneeled in front of their master.
"Father, he's lost control. There was an incident in the city. Alex, she ... she got hurt." Leonardo glanced at his hotheaded brother before continuing.
"She's in the hospital. It's nothing too serious, but Raphael is out of his mind! The sun's coming up in merely two hours and he rambles about bringing them to justice."
Raphael couldn't stay quiet anymore. His oh-so-perfect brother was talking as if he wasn't there!
"Yer the one always talkin' about justice and fairness! Our friend got hurt by some thieves, they're still runnin' around ... maybe hurtin' others!"
Leonardo sighed in annoyance while he stood up and faced his brother again. Couldn't he obey for once? The blue-clad turtle crossed his arms, before speaking in a calm and rather cold voice.
"You're beyond reason, Raph. We weren't there when it happened. We don't know how they looked like. We will find them, but not over the next twelve hours. Going outside wouldn't help anyone right now. Especially not her."
Raphael's eyes widened and he took a step back from his brother. His breathing hadn't slowed down in the slightest, and even though he tried to be reasonable - he couldn't. He looked from one family member to the next, finally gazing at his father, who seemingly agreed with Leonardo's decision. He couldn't speak right now. He couldn't apologize right now. The bulky terrapin only puffed and turned on his heels, stomping over to his bench.
His older brother wanted to say something, but the clawed hand of his father kept him silent.
"Don't, Leonardo. He knows you're right. We all know you're right. But it hurts him nonetheless."
"But why? She's a friend, but-"
The soft chuckle of Splinter interrupted the skilled ninja.
"Oh, Leonardo. You're not as omniscient as you think you are. She's so much more than a friend to your dear brother." His eyes had a soft sheen to it as he looked around, fixating Michelangelo, who had a knowing smirk written across his face.
"She holds his heart."
Raphael grunted as he lay on his bench, lifting all the manhole covers he possessed in an agonizingly fast rhythm. Sweat trickled down his arms, his forehead, running along the tendons of his neck and pooling inside his shell. He had to dull the pain. The only way he knew how to do it was to inflict a different kind of pain. So he continued to stem those weights, gritting his teeth, screwing his eyes shut. White blazing patterns flickered through the darkness. He didn't want to see. Didn't want to imagine how she looked like when they attacked. How she must've screamed, hoping for someone to help her. And he wasn't there.
The big terrapin began to pant, his body was at its limit, but he couldn't stop yet. His mind wouldn't stop racing.
She was stabbed. If he had been there, he could've taken the blow for her. Hell, he would cut his arm off this instant, just to undo all this.
The thought of losing her ... he couldn't. Raphael tried to block out those pictures flashing before his eyes but found he was incapable of doing so. He saw her blond hair and imagined how soft it felt between his rough and scaly fingers. She always giggled when he buried his face in those silky tresses, inhaling her rosy scent.
No. Stop it!
Raphael clenched his jaw and with each painful movement of his arms, a fuming grunt left his lungs. He could hear his blood pumping through his veins. Could hear his frantic heartbeat in his ears, drumming, distracting him.
He felt how the weights came closer to his face, and even though he tried with all his might, they wouldn't stop in their tracks. He had no control over his muscles anymore and just before the weight could seriously hurt him, two strong hands wrapped around the barbell and pulled it away from the red-clad turtle.
"What are you doing, Raph?" came the unmistakable voice of Leonardo, his big brother. Raphael gasped for air, feeling the burning sensation in his arms and the familiar weakness that came along with it. The giant terrapin slowly straightened himself before looking up. He expected to see disdain written over his brother's face, but all he saw was deep and honest concern. Raphael desperately tried to slow his breathing, to collect his thoughts. Sweat ran down his skin and he reached for a towel on the floor, but before he could wipe his face, Leo spoke again.
"I ... I am sorry."
Raphael looked up.
"W-What?"
Leonardo seemed to search for the right words, absentmindedly chewing on his bottom lip.
"A good leader shows consideration for others. A good brother shows sympathy."
Raphael had to process the words of his big brother. It wasn't often that he had a reason to apologize to him, but it definitely struck a chord each time he did it.
"Come on. Put that towel away and follow me. We don't have much time."
A couple of minutes later, both brothers stood on a highrise, slowly making their way to the edge of the building. The horizon already got a lilac hue to it and they couldn't waste much more time.
"Look into the second window from the right. Third row."
Raphael squinted his eyes and let them roam over the hospital on the opposite side.
There!
"Is that-"
"Yes."
"But how-"
"Donnie."
His brother slowly put his hand on Raphael's shoulder, assuring him.
"She will be alright. We can't get any closer, but now you know she will be up and about in no time and you have no reason to run amok in New York City."
Raphael bit his lip and looked at his feet.
"I know ... I know." His gaze lifted and he looked into the eyes of his brother, ice blue and sometimes so very distant. But not in this moment.
"Thank you, Leo." They both bumped their fists, slowly making their way back to the funnel.
"Anytime, Raph. Anytime."