Chapter Text
McCoy sipped his drink and looked around the room purposefully, thankful for all people who were still there. All the ones who made it. He wasn’t even sure how he’d pulled this off, considering he was in a less-than-celebratory mood after everything that happened. After everyone they lost. But he really wanted Jim to have something nice, because Jim deserved it, so he was going to have a good time and focus on the things they didn’t lose.
He kept glancing around though, less and less subtly as the evening went on, breath catching every time Spock caught his gaze. McCoy tried to tell himself it was because he was still worried, because they’d come too close to Spock not being okay.
—
It was dark by the time he said his goodbyes and headed for the exit.
“May I walk with you Leonard?”
“Sure Spock. I’ll uh… I wanted to check how you were healing up anyway.”
They walked out the building in silence, falling into step easily once they were outside in the simulated night of Yorktown. McCoy tried to look straight ahead, purposefully not lifting his gaze any higher than necessary.
“I see you are still uncomfortable at this Starbase.”
McCoy laughed, “That obvious?”
“Yes,” Spock replied with the faintest trace of a smile that most people would have missed. McCoy wondered when he started being able to read all of Spock’s subtleties.
The rest of their walk was quiet, comfortably so, and mostly uneventful. Except for the moments where their hands brushed together and McCoy’s heart pounded for a few minutes afterwards.
—
Spock had already changed by the time McCoy walked into his room with the scanner he’d retrieved from his own.
He walked up to Spock and lifted up his t-shirt, folding it over to keep it in place. He tried to not get distracted by the line of hair under Spock’s navel and tried really hard to not think about where it went. He pressed his fingers gently to Spock’s almost-healed skin before using his scanner, rationalising it by telling himself that sometimes plain old-fashioned doctoring worked just as well as technology. In reality he just wanted to touch Spock. To reassure himself that Spock was fine, that they all were. And to see how Spock’s skin felt under his fingers.
“Does it hurt?”
“No, I have not experienced any pain since leaving the hospital.”
“Looks alright,” McCoy said softly, putting his scanner down on the counter and straightening Spock’s t-shirt.
Spock didn’t move however, and now they were standing much too close and McCoy didn’t know what to do with his hands.
“Leonard…” Spock’s voice trailed off as he looked away.
McCoy didn’t say anything, but softened his expression in the hope that Spock would proceed.
“I meant to thank you,” Spock said quietly, “for saving me.”
“Spock you… you don’t have to thank me. I hope you know I didn’t mean what I said back there. I—” It was McCoy’s turn to look away, suddenly feeling too vulnerable under Spock’s gaze “—Jesus Spock I don’t know what I’d do without you either.”
Spock didn’t respond, not in words anyway, but his hands found McCoy’s. He threaded their fingers together and the next few moments consisted of carefully controlled breaths. Spock inched forward just as McCoy’s gaze dropped, and pressed their lips together. It was light and questioning, and Spock pulled back like he wanted to see if maybe this wasn’t what he should be doing. He didn’t have much time to think about it because McCoy untangled their fingers and brought his hands up to Spock’s face, gently pulling him in again and kissing him back with much more intent.
For all the build-up and the waiting, all the years of it, they kissed softly. Lips moving slowly and hands gently seeking out warmth and skin. Urgency abandoned for a reverence that came from knowing, despite themselves, that this was always the way it was going to be.