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“They can’t help but be afraid of you.”
Vision’s words circled through Wanda’s head like the rides at the carnival she and Pietro used to beg their parents to take them to every year. A constant repetition of what she was, of what she had become. A perpetual reminder that she was now other, and something to be feared.
She had thought that being around the others would take that feeling away. After all, they were all enhanced in their own way, or at least had the reckless heroism that came with being near people who were enhanced. None of them could be a part of normal society now. That thought didn’t comfort Wanda, though. It only heightened that sense of us vs. them.
Wanda hadn’t been in a great place after the Raft. The fight had taken it out of her in ways that none of their other battles had. And sitting there in that cell, tied up, that metal noose around her neck, it took her back to the dark days of being in Strucker’s lab. How they had broken her apart and then stuck her back together like a vase that was broken. Sure, she was the same person, but now she was different, so different.
Then Steve had shown up and rescued them all, just when she had started to doubt that they would ever get out. He loaded them all onto a quinjet and took off to a tiny village in the middle of Sweden, said he was taking them somewhere safe, somewhere they could breathe and plot their next move without constantly looking over their shoulder.
They’d landed on a hill behind a mostly isolated cottage and trudged down a muddy path, the door to the cottage swinging open and a brunette running out. “Darce!” Steve shouted when he saw her.
The girl met them halfway up the hill and looked over their little group, clucking her tongue at how worn down they looked. Wanda watched as she ran to Steve and checked him over, giving him a meaningful look and rising on her tiptoes to press a kiss on his cheek. Steve introduced him to Bucky, who was standing at his side. She held out her hand and after a handshake and a brief pause, gave him a hug. He looked stunned.
Wanda glanced at the rest of the group, all of them tired and weary and yet all of them standing there patiently as this girl surveyed them, giving out hugs and welcoming words to everyone. She even let Sam pick her up and whirl her around, her laughter floating like butterflies over to Wanda’s ear as he teased about her missing him most of all.
Wanda tried not to listen in on the girl’s thoughts, but she was a loud thinker, and things kept creeping in anyway, a sense of worry, a fear, anguish, but mostly joy at seeing her friends and relief that they were safe. She was introduced around to the rest of the group, eventually stepping in front of Wanda, hand extended. Wanda shook her hand delicately, almost subconsciously realizing she had to be careful around this girl.
She wasn’t enhanced like them, wasn’t a soldier or a warrior, she was just a girl. A girl, Wanda realized, who would be their saving grace, the way she had opened her home to them in their hour of need. Once they had shaken hands, the girl, Darcy as she had been introduced to her, swept her into a tight hug, nearly knocking the breath from Wanda’s lungs. Then she’d pulled back, gave her a small smile and said, “I think you and me are gonna be the best of friends.”
Darcy led the haggard group into the cottage, giving them a brief tour. The house belonged to someone named Erik, who they eventually met in what had probably once been a study, but had now been converted into a laboratory of sorts. The room was crowded, full of beeping and whirring machinery, a desk piled with notepads covered in illegible scribbles, and two distracted scientists.
“This is where the mad scientists do their evil bidding. Say hi, you two,” Darcy said, gesturing back to the group.
They gave half-hearted hellos to the group and went back to whispering to each other over a machine that was making a strange clunking sound. Wanda let her power poke gently at the edges of their minds, not prying, but getting a sense of their motives. She had known scientists who were the very worst and knew she would feel better about them if she knew who they were.
Dr. Foster, Jane, had a mind that was racing, but in the most methodical way Wanda had ever seen. Dr. Selvig, Erik, was the man who owned the house. His childhood home apparently. He’d allowed Jane and Darcy to come here after SHIELD fell and they had been holed up since then. His mind was painful. Skittish and distracted and distant at the same time, a tangle that was slowly and painstakingly becoming untangled. It reminded Wanda of Clint’s on his bad days, or Bucky’s most of the time.
Darcy led them from the lab and started assigning beds so everyone could put their things down and relax a bit.
“We’re not putting you out too bad, are we, Darce?” Steve asked.
“No, of course not. We will just all be super great friends by the end of this. Although I will murder in cold blood anyone who gets into my chocolate stash. Clint,” she said with a cough.
Clint sighed, “One time, Darcy.”
“At least three times,” Darcy countered.
“Are there enough spots for everyone?” Steve asked, ignoring their bickering.
“Yeah, Erik won’t sleep anywhere but the living room, and Jane and I will share, so it’s fine. Actually, we have an extra bed in our room. Wanda, would you be okay bunking with us?”
“That would be fine,” Wanda answered softly.
“Awesome. Jane keeps weird hours, so it will probably just be you and me. It’ll be like a sleepover or something.”
Wanda had never had a real sleepover before, so she wasn’t sure if that’s what it was like or not. But she liked it. Their room was roomy and bright, painted a cheery yellow, with a stencil of wildflowers around the ceiling. There were three small beds in a row, it having once housed Erik’s sisters when they were little. They lived in the next village and Darcy said they were lovely women. Wanda liked being there. And Darcy was right, Jane was almost never there and it was usually just the two of them. Occasionally, she would wander in in the early hours of the day and collapse on her twin bed on her side of the room, dead to the world.
Wanda found she liked spending time with Darcy. The girl was sweet and charming with the biggest heart Wanda had ever encountered. She was funny and smart, her mind rolling like a marble across a hardwood floor. Smooth and quick and easy. Wanda found herself watching Darcy. She liked the way she got excited about things, but had perfected her snark. She liked the way she cared for everyone, doted on them, really. She seemed to get her own comfort by supplying it to others. Wanda liked everything about her. She liked her laugh and the way her eyes would close when she was laughing really hard. She liked her eyes, too, the blue that sparkled like a cut sapphire.
She liked how free she was with her body. Wanda was constantly conscious of herself, but not Darcy. Darcy would lean on whoever was around, or put her hands on them, or tug at their hair as she walked by. Whenever she touched her, Wanda practically preened. She found ways to move about the cottage to get as much contact as she could. Accidentally stepping in Darcy’s way, or sitting near her whenever possible. Even at night, Wanda would make sure she was bundled up in bed by the time Darcy laid down. If she were, Darcy would reach over before she crawled into bed and pat Wanda, or pull up her blanket or flick her toes through the quilt.
And then they would talk. Although she could easily poke around in Darcy’s mind to get information, she liked it better when she could listen to Darcy’s voice drifting through the darkened room. They talked about everything, their childhoods and what had led them to where they were. The terrible things they had both seen, but also the good. And most surprisingly of all, Darcy seemed okay with who Wanda was. That incessant reminder that Vision had been repeating in her head for weeks seemed to pause when Darcy was around.
It terrified Wanda. Because she didn’t want Darcy to fear her, though it seemed inevitable at some point. And Wanda thought she felt that fear sometimes. Darcy’s mind would get twitchy and nervous and Wanda wondered what it was in that moment that made Darcy frightened of her. Maybe if she could figure out what it was, she could stop doing it and she would never end up pushing her away.
***
“These guys are relentless. Every time I cook, I think, Come on, Darcy, there’s no way they can eat all of this. And every time, everything is wiped clean. I’m pretty sure I even saw Clint licking the dish the last time I made spaghetti. They’re animals.”
They were baking, something Darcy did often. She said it was her happy place, and that it also helped her ego to see the guys’ eyes get big when they saw her bring out one of her cakes or pies or a tray of cookies. Darcy held the spoon up to Wanda and let her take a taste of the filling for the cherry pies she was making. It was delicious, both sweet and tart, and Wanda couldn’t wait for dessert that evening.
Once the final pie was slipped into the oven to bake, Darcy stood and turned back. She gave Wanda a grin and moved closer to her. Darcy raised her hand, her thumb coming up to wipe at a bit of cherry filling that had landed on the corner of Wanda’s mouth. Darcy met her eyes and let her pink tongue dart out to lick the red filling off her thumb. Wanda’s heart started pounding as she watched the display, her mind accidentally drifting over to see what was happening in Darcy’s. It was like a splash of cold water when, at the edges of Darcy’s mind, that nervous buzzing started up again. Wanda felt herself jerk back.
Sure, Darcy wasn’t afraid of her now, but Wanda knew how people felt about her. How easily someone could turn on her once they got afraid. She didn’t want that soft buzzing to turn into a deafening roar of fear. Better to step back now. Wanda turned away and busied herself with washing the dishes in the sink.
“You don’t have to do that, I’ll clean up,” came Darcy’s voice in an even tone.
“I don’t mind,” Wanda replied.
“Ok, thanks.”
Wanda felt a wave of hurt come at her from Darcy’s direction and when she turned back, Darcy was gone.
That night, after dinner, when they and everyone else had shuffled off to their rooms, they were alone again. Darcy sat on her bed and stared at her feet dangling off of the edge. She bit her lip before smiling at Wanda. “Hey, I just wanted to say sorry for earlier, in the kitchen. I thought I was being smooth or something, but it just came off as weird. You’re not interested, that’s cool. No hard feelings.”
Wanda looked at Darcy’s soft smile and felt the same buzzing within her, but softer.
“It was fine. I should not have jumped away like that.”
Wanda didn’t mention that she had been regretting that move ever since it happened. Darcy just shook her head, “I respect your boundaries, Wanda.”
She slipped under the covers and they lay there in silence.
“What did you mean when you said I wasn’t interested?” Wanda asked softly.
Darcy tilted her head to look at Wanda and gave a little laugh. “I just meant you weren’t interested in me in that particular way.”
“But you are? Interested?”
“Yeah. I’m interested. But I’m also really glad we’re friends.”
“I didn’t know,” Wanda admitted.
Darcy gave another small laugh, smiling fondly at her, “I know, it’s fine. Go to sleep, ok?”
Wanda nodded and let herself drift off to a calm sleep. Darcy’s sleep, however, was not calm. Sometime in the middle of the night, Wanda woke up to the sound of whimpering coming from the other bed. Jane’s bed was empty and she sat up to look over at Darcy. The other girl was curled into a tight ball on her bed, face tense, her fingers tightly gripping the pillow, as low, pained noises fell from her mouth.
“Darcy,” Wanda said softly.
She didn’t stir and Wanda peeked into her mind. It was terrifying, darkness and cold and the world crumbling and a sense of absolute and total fear. Wanda pulled back immediately and moved from her bed to Darcy’s. She sat beside her and touched her gently, pushing softer and happier thoughts to her. Eventually, Darcy left the nightmare, her muscles loosening and her eyes blinking open.
“Wanda?”
“Shh, it is alright,” Wanda said, pushing back a few curls of Darcy’s hair.
Darcy let out a shaky breath. “It was a nightmare.”
“I know,” Wanda said, all but confessing that she had looked into Darcy’s mind.
She wasn’t mad though, just nodded her head and gave her a small smile. “Thank you.”
“It was nothing.”
Wanda looked her over and noticed the small tremor that was still rippling through Darcy’s body and lay down beside her, pulling the covers over them both. Darcy gave her a questioning look, but allowed herself to be gathered in Wanda’s arms. Darcy had been taking care of them all for so long, it felt good to pay some of that back.
“I don’t have them so much anymore,” Darcy confessed. “I was seeing a therapist and working through stuff. But then we were on the road again, and now we’re here and, I don’t know. I think my brain is broken sometimes.”
Wanda ran her fingers through Darcy’s hair, smelling the scent of lavender from her shampoo. “You have been through some terrible things.”
“We all have.” Darcy glanced up at Wanda, “You have, too.”
Wanda nodded softly and asked, “Do you ever think that the things that happened to you have changed you, but not for the better?”
“Sometimes, yeah.”
Wanda chewed the inside of her lip, wanting to tell Darcy about her greatest fear, about the carnival ride of self doubt she was constantly on. She had almost chickened out when Darcy let out a sigh and relaxed further against Wanda. Wanda had never felt so safe in her life, just being around Darcy had done that to her, and she felt the words pouring out.
Everything. About how she thought she was a monster some days, how she felt people’s fear, expected it even. The overwhelming guilt she felt about Sokovia and Lagos, both situations created because she had something powerful in her and she thought maybe it was too powerful. And how Darcy scared her most of all, because Darcy didn’t have that shadow of fear in her mind when Wanda was around. Because Wanda didn’t want to take that fearlessness for granted, because when Darcy realized she should be scared of her, and she would realize it, it would break Wanda.
Darcy listened quietly, waiting until Wanda was finished to softly pinch her arm. “Hey, now. Don’t talk about yourself like that. You’re not a monster, you’re a person. A person I happen to like quite a lot. So, stop.”
“One day you will look at me and be terrified of what you see.”
“No, I won’t,” Darcy said confidently.
Darcy lifted her hand and wiped away the tears that had fallen from Wanda’s eyes, her fingertips brushing away the wet tracks. Wanda looked into her eyes and saw nothing but love. Looked into her mind and saw nothing but love.
She grabbed Darcy’s hands and moved it away from her face, leaning forward to brush her lips once against Darcy’s. A puff of air left Darcy’s mouth and Wanda kissed her again, properly this time. Darcy’s lips were soft and dry and Wanda could taste the faint minty flavor of her toothpaste. Wanda tried not to sound as shy as she felt when she spoke, “I may not be as uninterested as you think.”
“No, I guess not,” Darcy said with a grin.
Darcy walked into the kitchen the next morning and shot Wanda a shy smile. Wanda stood from the table to wash her bowl and brushed Darcy as she passed.
“Did you sleep well, Darcy?”
“Like a rock,” Darcy responded, grinning. “You?”
“Best night’s sleep in years,” Wanda purred.
“I’m glad to hear it. Can’t beat those Swedish mattresses.”
“Yes, that is definitely what it was.”
Darcy hummed, “Well, I’m going to town in a bit to pick up a few things. It’s a nice day and I thought I might walk. Would you be interested in joining me?”
“That sounds lovely, yes.”
“Ok, let me go get dressed,” Darcy said.
They left the cottage together and walked for a bit in silence. Darcy glanced over at Wanda and grinned, her hand reaching over hesitantly to hold Wanda’s. Their fingers laced together and they gently swung their linked hands between them.
“Thank you for inviting me, Darcy.”
“Oh, no problem. It’s good to get out of that house sometimes. And I thought it might be nice to hang out, just the two of us.”
“It is nice,” Wanda agreed.
“Yeah,” Darcy said. “Plus, if I have to hear Sam and Bucky arguing one more time, I’m going to scream. I should get them and Steve three-way best friend necklaces so they can all just chill.”
“I don’t know that that would help.”
“Probably not. Wishful thinking.” She slowed down slightly and tugged Wanda off the path in between a grove of trees. “C’mon, I want to show you something.”
They walked a bit and then came to a small clearing, full of little purple flowers. “This is beautiful, Darcy.”
“Erik mentioned it one day when we first got here and I walked the road until I found it. I don’t think anyone else knows it’s here.”
Wanda spun in a circle, looking around at the flowers and trees, the blue sky above them. She faced Darcy. “So we are alone?”
Darcy smirked. “Yep. Totally alone. Just us and the wildflowers.”
“It would be a shame to waste such privacy,” Wanda murmured.
Darcy nodded softly and tugged Wanda closer. Her hands tangled in Wanda’s hair as she leaned forward and kissed her, their tongues dancing against each other’s. Wanda felt a burst of bravery and decided to stop denying herself the things she wanted because she was afraid. She backed Darcy up until her back hit a tree, her eyes popping open. Wanda took in her wide eyes, darker than she’d ever seen them, and kissed her again.
This time, her hand left Darcy’s shoulder and slipped down to trace the curves of her waist. Darcy grabbed Wanda’s hand and moved it up until it was cupping her breast, grinning slightly into their kiss.
“Oh. You are going to be trouble, aren’t you?”
“I hope so,” Darcy said.
“Well, in that case,” Wanda said, letting herself trail off.
Darcy arched her brow, her mouth falling open a bit as Wanda moved her hand away from breast and down to play at the hem of her sweater. Her fingertips slipped under the pink fabric and danced along Darcy's stomach. Wanda felt the softness of Darcy’s skin and tucked her hand down into her leggings. A heavy breath left Darcy’s mouth at the contact and Wanda kissed her again as fingers moved over the wet spot on Darcy's panties.
And there, in a field of wildflowers, the two of them truly alone for the first time, Wanda pressed a finger into Darcy, then two, moving them just so until Darcy was panting in front of her. She gasped Wanda’s name and gripped onto her shoulders. Wanda didn't speak, but pushed thoughts into Darcy's head, thoughts about how good she felt and the daydreams Wanda had been having about her and how this, the real thing, was so much better than she had imagined.
Darcy gasped at each new image, until her body tensed and then she fluttered around Wanda’s fingers with a cry. Darcy's head fell back against the tree as she caught her breath, Wanda placing a soft kiss against her throat.
“So, interested, huh?” Darcy asked with a content grin.
“Interested,” Wanda confirmed. Darcy reached for Wanda’s thigh, hiking up the bottom of her skirt, but Wanda stopped her, “Later.”
“Ok. Later. I guess we need to get to town.”
Wanda nodded and they walked hand in hand back to the road and towards town.
They arrived back at the cottage later that afternoon, bags slung over their arms, smiles painted on their faces. They put away their groceries and checked in on everyone, finally stopping by the lab.
“Oh, Darcy. Good, you’re here. I can’t read my own writing. Will you look this over for me?” Jane asked, shuffling some papers around into a messy stack.
“Later, boss lady. Wanda and I are going to take a nap. It was a long walk and we are exhausted. Don’t disturb us, please.”
Jane gave her an assessing look and then nodded meaningfully. “Oh. Well, ok. Have a good nap, you two.”
“We will,” Darcy said, pulling Wanda out of the lab and into their room.
Later, Wanda would remember only bits and pieces of it, it had been so intense and perfect. She could see in perfect detail the way they had both laughed at how small Darcy’s bed was as they piled on to it.
The way Darcy’s hands felt tracing along her thigh, and the look on her face when Wanda lay under her, spread out without a stitch of clothing on. The feeling of Darcy’s mouth biting a path up her leg and the way her tongue moved against her. The soft noises that came from Darcy, like she’d never tasted anything so lovely.
The stars Wanda swears she saw when she finally came, a whispered, ‘Darcy’ on her lips. Darcy crawled up the bed afterwards, wrapping herself around Wanda. Wanda leaned in for a kiss and tasted herself on her tongue, before laying back and cuddling closer.
“I so need a nap now,” Darcy said sleepily. “The others won’t miss us for a few hours.”
That night was the first night they ate together as a couple.
It was two nights later when they gave up the illusion of propriety and pushed their twin beds together.
Then, two weeks later, when the team finally got a plan together to move on, Wanda and Darcy stood at the bottom of the hill, arm in arm, waving them off with promises to call constantly.
And it was a full month later that Wanda realized that Vision’s words had disappeared, had been drowned out by the love of her friends, but especially by Darcy. That the sharp words that she had once let become her mantra had just disappeared.
It was like the first time you noticed that winter was over and you were taken by surprise that the wildflowers had popped up again. And she would always have Darcy to thank for that.