Chapter Text
John rubbed at his temples, having had started to form a headache from all this time on his computer. He had been on his computer since 7 and now it was nearing 4 in the morning. Thats nine hours of staring at a bright screen in a dark room attempting to code, which by the way turned into a pile of malarky almost instantaneously. John liked to think of himself as a pretty good coder but in reality he knew that all the numbers and various other things just looked like gibberish. And now, at 3:56 in the morning, it looked just like blurriness and some scattered numbers more than ever.
Reluctantly, John exited out of the program, pulling up Pesterchum. He had 7 new messages, two from Jade and five from Dave. Why the hell was Dave messaging him this late? Not to mention on a school night. John regretted staying up so late, he didn’t even get his homework completed. Who the hell assigns homework on the third to last week of school anyway?
Anyways, John got that there was a time difference but in Texas it was only an hour earlier. Though for Jade it was like 15 hours later than here, but John did NOT want to think about numbers again but he could safely assume it was day time at the very least. He’d look at what she wanted in after he saw what Dave wanted.
-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 3:13 --
TG: hey
TG: i know youre online it says so right there
TG: dude this isnt cool i have some really boss news
TG: ok i lied i just wanna tell you about some bullshit bro just pulled
TG: ok while i know you have a raging hard on for nic cage right now i think it would be in your best interest to stop what youre doing and pay a brother some respect and listen up
-- 3:58 --
EB: it should interest you to know i dont have a hard on right now dave.
EB: actually, im quite flaccid.
EB: if you want to hear more about my dick please press 5 or wait for an operator to direct you directly to my pants.
TG: on any other day i wouldve slammed the 5 key so fast it would make your head spin
TG: but right now im gonna have to put you on hold
EB: i dont think you can put a phone operator on hold dave.
TG: wow look at all the fucks im giving
TG: im gonna have to call one of those phone lines some day and put them on hold just to prove you wrong
EB: i thought you said no fucks were given?
TG: dude just shut up and listen
TG: ok class now that all you shit heads have calmed down its mother fucking story time
TG: now i was just minding my own damn business being a fantastic little brother
TG: wearing an adorable sailor suit with an over sized lollipop
TG: that whole shebang
EB: get to the point dave, its like 4 in the morning and i have school in a few hours.
TG: sleep is for the weak john
TG: but yeah so there i was being a perfect little innocent angel and then bro just starts scolding me for no reason
EB: no reason.
TG: no
TG: reason
EB: what did you do?
TG: i already told you
TG: nothing
EG: right.
TG: ok so maybe
TG: just maybe
TG: i broke a window
EG: good night dave.
-- ectoBiologist [EG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 4:16 --
John sighed, logging off and shutting down the computer. Realizing after the screen turned black that he hadn’t even looked at what Jade was pestering him about. Oh well he’d look again after the hour and a half of sleep he hoped to get before school.
John took off his glasses and placed them on top of his dresser before slipping into bed. Good thing he mapped out his whole bedroom in his head years ago, otherwise he could've tripped in the darkness. Though unlike his other friends, Johns bedroom was constantly clean. Seldom was his floor littered with clothing and hilarious props he used for his amazing pranks. As the prank master of his time he needed things like a set a fake arms and smoke pellets. The only thing that would make him a better prankster would be having a phone. He could release to the world brilliant clever crank calls that would be loved and adored by pranksters everywhere. Plus he probably could use a phone for non-pranking reasons, but according to Dave the main thing people used their cell phones for was sending nudes and John wasn’t sure that was something he was into. Or capable of rather. Who would he even send nudes to? Rose? That would be mighty weird and awkward. Or perhaps, the ultimate prank? Or just weird.
John closed his eyes to the dark room, sleep taking him almost immediately into a deep, dreamless state.
John had not been more glad to be out of school the following day. He just wanted to get home and sleep. He simply could not stay up that late again until school was done with for the year. Which, thankfully was only for another three weeks. Then he was free to sleep in all day, stay up all night, stay awake for days on end, sleep for a week straight, anything really. It was his time. And since Dad worked often, Johns summer schedule could be as all over the place as he wanted without much consequence. It didn’t really bother him that he would be spending all summer in his room, again. Sure it would be nice to see his friends, go swimming, maybe go to camp even. Which all sounded great, to an extent that is. John wasn't the most confident, nor was he a social pariah. True, there was a group of people for everyone and John could probably find them in his school or community with some effort, but was it really worth all the paranoia?
Do they even actually like me? Do they just feel bad that i get picked on more than them? Maybe its to make them to seem less of losers by comparison. I must be the one that’s secretly hated.
Been there done that. Besides, John wasn’t the smartest or best looking. In Johns opinion, his eyes seemed a little too far apart. His nose too big. His teeth big and he was pretty sure he had an overbite. Not too mention how he was shorter than most boys in his grade, not by that much but still a noticeable amount. Then there was his unreasonable skinniness. No matter how many cakes and pastries his dad had made and John had devoured, with less enthusiasm over the years, he would stay a bag of bones. No notable muscle build or mass of any sort. Nothing. John was just unappealing and he knew it. Sure, he had his good qualities, but who really cared if you could play complicated songs on the piano or balance a bucket full of water on top of a barely open door frame. That meant next to nothing. Though don’t be misled, John didn’t hate himself. He was at peace with his appearance and social anxieties. None of it bothered him, and it wasn’t like he was trying to impress any girls or anything since he didn’t have an interest in dating.
And yeah, he had a small group of people he called friends at school, but that wasn’t actual friendship. Well, it was, but there was never any effort made to get in touch with these people outside of school so they were just people that stuck together to not be alone during school hours. The only four people he really felt close to were his four best friends. All conveniently located around the world. The closest friend he had was states away. Dave lived somewhere in Texas, probably in the capital city or something. Then Rose and Jade lived across the ocean. John didn’t know where in Europe Rose lived, but it was definitely somewhere there. And Jade. Not even Jade is 100% sure where Jade lives. Though judging by the time zone she inhabits, it’s some small personal island off of Australia. John had tried going onto google maps and looking around for the island but he never had much luck, maybe he’d try again some day. Speaking of Jade, he never checked what she had been wanting on Pesterchum yesterday.
Tossing aside his backpack and changing out of his mud caked pants, John seated himself in front of his desktop. He opened up Pesterchum and he was instantly met with twenty five new messages from Dave along with the ones from Jade. He’d check those later. The only person online was Rose, but he didn’t have anything to report to her right now.
-- gardenGnostic [GG] started pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 2:47 --
GG: john!!
GG: come on i got that game you told me about! :)
--16:23 --
EB: game?
EB: oh yeah, SBURB.
EB: actually we decided not to play that, uh i thought someone had told you?
EB: well actually by now someone probably did.
EB: probably rose.
EB: ok talk to you later when youre awake or something.
-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 16:26 --
John supposed he’d take a peak at what Dave sent after John logged off last night.
-- ectoBiologist [EG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 4:16 --
TG: wait john
TG: fuck
TG: come on it wasnt even my fault this time
TG: bro was the one who started the strife
TG: or maybe it was me i dont know little hazy on those deets
TG: ok so i was the one who tried to get the drop on bro inside the apartment
TG: if he just let himself get a sick new hole in his arm then we wouldnt have a fancy new shattered window
TG: duuude
TG: well i guess its just you and me dave
TG: nah dave i got shit to do
TG: windows to repair
TG: puppets to destroy
TG: wow dave you got the rude-tude too huh
TG: you know it dave
TG: john this is the kind of shit that goes down when you leave me like that
TG: john i need you
TG: like an unmarried childless menopausal woman needs cats
TG: that much john
TG: that
TG: fucking
TG: much
TG: this isnt over egbert
TG: mark my crescent fresh words dude
TG: i forget where i was going with this
TG: fuck am i tired
-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EG] at 6:20 --
Sometimes John wondered if Dave even went to school. It was a wednesday, and he was fairly certain that Texas had schools. At least he was 80% sure they did. Texas is weird but it couldn’t possibly be that weird. Well regardless, Dave certainly didn’t seem have any qualms about not sleeping on school nights. But knowing him, he probably just slept through every class anyway. John shook his head, logging off Pesterchum and pulling up the web browser. He’d do his homework in an hour, and probably should put his pants in the washing machine before Dad gets home.
He didn’t want another embarrassing incident at school with his Dad, which by the way only made things about ten times worse. John could pick himself up and keep walking it was no problem, he didn’t mind that so much. John could recall three times that Dad stepped in. Once in elementary school some 5th graders used him for their experiment to see how many smaller kids they could shove into the janitors closet before they were caught. John could remember how gross it was in there, the sickening scent of mold and dust and cleaning chemicals that invaded his nostrils no matter how tightly he covered his face with his hands. There was one other kid in there with him for all of ten minutes while the bigger kids went to catch the others who ran away, but one of them got to a teacher and told so the experiment was cut short. Except the teacher wasn’t told about the two kids that actually had been locked in the closet. In the closet was John and a 4th grade girl who barely spoke any english and was given the nickname Dora by the other kids, though that wasn’t her name John couldn’t recall what her name actually was. Both John and her got very sick from the cleaning chemicals and whatever else that could have been toxic in the secluded space. That’s how Dad found out, which resulted in him forcing John to tell him which students put him in the closest and Dad marching down to the school and making the teachers sit the 5th grade boys and John down to discuss their feelings. It was horrible. After that the older boys relished in the fact that they could make John upset so easily and actually focused their preadolescent rage on John for the rest of the year. One of the kids who was the most ruthless of the bunch always had bruises but never seemed to get into fights at school and looking back at it he was probably was being beaten at home, which made John feel all the more bad for the kids parents being told about the closet incident.
And that was just in elementary. While it still seems like a cliché from some older movie, John was also shoved into a locker in his second year of middle school for much less scientific reasons, and Johns dad wouldn’t have found out if not for the big bruise that blossomed on his shoulder and back from being violently pushed into a metal box with coat hooks. Similar results. The years following were filled with a lot less physical violence and a lot more hurtful words. Which got more creative before it became less. Though every now and then there was tripping or shoving which resulted in dirty or tattered clothes, and depending on if and where he would fall there might be some bruises too sometimes. The last time that Dad came to school and made things worse on accident, was when John had the misfortune of being clocked right in the nose. The was freshmen year of high school and i was sort of Johns fault. The one time that John ever snapped at someone for poking fun at him, and the kid got real angry. But John usually would have just shrugged off the verbal abuse but they hit a nerve.
“You don’t have friends because you’re a social wet blanket. Plus who would want to be friends with such an annoying faggot” laughter, and John said something back very calmly and very quietly, “I do have friends. And they like me.”
“Ok then why don’t they come to help you pick you up when you trip over your own feet.”
“They don’t live around here”
“What was that, faggot?”
“I said they go to different schools.”
“So they don’t exist after all!” more laughter, “And even if they were real i bet they are freaky losers too. Who probably smell like shit and are dumb as a bag of bricks, just like you!”
And that’s where John got upset. Even though the insults were in poor taste, he could never let the friends he cared about be talked of so poorly. So in a stern, bold voice he spoke through gritted teeth.
“My friends are the greatest people. They are cool, they are intellectual, they are kind. And they are my friends. They like and accept me for who i am because they are not low-life scum who have nothing better to do than to than pick on quieter kids who don’t do shit to deserve what you say and do to them. They are better than you. A lot of people are. Don’t. Speak. Poorly. Of. My. Friends.”
And for a second it seemed like by the look on his acne splattered face that he had seen the error of his behavior, but the next thing John saw was the ground as he doubled over from the pain shooting through his lower abdomen. Then he got a fist to the nose. He went home with bruises and a bloody nose. Then because of Dad he was deemed a tattle tail and was punched in the arm for being the cause of the other boy getting his phone taken away.
After Johns pants were ridden of potential grass stains and mud, he was just starting his science homework when he heard Dads car pull into the driveway. Dad was home and John felt the sense of privacy being taken from him.
Dad didn’t bother him until dinner time. Unfortunately John was left with unpleasant thoughts and memories until then.
During dinner Dad announced that he had a business trip for all of summer, and since John didn’t have anywhere to stay for that time then he would have to come with. Which didn’t seem fair until Dad told him where they were going for the summer.
“Texas!?” John exclaimed with newly found excitement.
“Now i know it’s hot there and you don’t want to go but i can’t le-”
“No, no!” John cut him off enthusiastically, “My best friend lives in texas!”
Dad looked confused but after an hour of John persistently trying to remind Dad of who Dave was and why he should be able to hang with him, Dad, while reluctant, finally agreed to let John visit his friend. John was so ecstatic he didn’t even care that he was shoved into a mud puddle today. After dinner, and while avoiding dessert, John rushed upstairs to tell Dave the fantastic news.