Chapter Text
It’d been two hours. It’d been two hours since Chiron came down from Atlanta. Two hours since he first got to see Kevin after all those years and one hour since he told Kevin that he’d been the only man to touch him with no one ever since. An hour.
When Chiron made the confession, he honestly didn’t know what he was expecting. He didn’t know if Kevin would accept him. If Kevin wasn’t ready, rejected him, Chiron knew to put on his armor and protect himself and his feelings. Something he wasn’t able to do when he was younger. Something he learned to do as time and streets hardened him. Kevin didn’t reject him though. In fact he embraced him with open arms and a warm smile. He walked over to Chiron and wrapped his arms around him. They had stayed like that a while. Kevin sighed into Chiron’s neck and inhaled, taking his scent in, placing palms on a sturdy back, running them over tense muscles. Kevin kept doing it until he felt the muscles relax and give in to his pleading hands. How long had it taken Chiron to sculpt himself so beautifully? He thought to himself. Kevin let his brain wander, losing himself in Chiron and the embrace. He forgot that he was tired after a long work day. He forgot about the tea he’d set on the stove. Chiron just made everything seem unimportant.
“Look, Chiron,” Kevin said, pulling away, “I… Ion know what to say, man.” He said scratching his head and looking down.
“You ain’t gotta say nothing.” Chiron said shrugging, indifferent. Kevin looked at him, bewildered.
“Naw, man. I didn’t mean it like that. You know… I just don’t know where to start. I wasn’t able to stop thinking about you since you left, man.” Kevin leaned against the countertop, putting his head down as if that would help the blockage going on in his brain. “There were so many things left…unsaid.” Chiron nodded, remaining silent.
“When you left, Chiron… I didn’t think I would ever have this opportunity. To tell you how sorry I am. To tell you that…I fucked up… I really fucked up, Black.” Kevin let out a breath and waited for Chiron to say something. Anything. He clenched his fists out of worry. Chiron hadn’t said a word to him yet. Just looked at him in that silent way of his. The look made him want to just reveal himself to Chiron. It made him just want to crack his soul open to him. He didn’t know how to do it with just his words, since it was physically impossible to do what he wanted. He needed Chiron to understand. But understand what? The water began to boil at last, offering some relief. Kevin jumped to go get it, offering a small, shy smile as he poured the water into a mug. He made a gesture for Chiron to sit down at the table. He brought the tea to Chiron and set it in front of him, Chiron nodding his head in thanks.
“I told you that I don’t be drinking that shit, man.” Chiron said quietly, fiddling with the mug. Kevin gave him another look.
“Well, you told me you got a headache, man. I ain’t gon’ have you moanin’ and groanin’ all night.” Kevin paused, smiling. “You a lightweight forreal, man. It’s probably all the alcohol that you couldn’t taste.” He said. When Chiron chuckled, he looked up surprised. Chiron quickly intercepted the look but Kevin didn’t notice. He still needed Chiron to forgive him. Needed him to get how awful he felt, losing all those years with him.
“Kev…it’s okay, man. We straight. There’s nothing else to say or do. All we got to do now is make up for lost time.” Chiron said. He didn’t want to dwell on the past. He just wanted time with Kevin, time to rekindle and spark whatever they may have had and he wanted to do it soon. Kevin looked at him, searching for any hint of doubt or something else that could’ve betrayed the words he so smoothly delivered. But he found nothing. All he saw in Chiron’s eyes was mystery and honesty. He nodded slowly, swallowing what had seemed like a hundred cotton balls. He cleared his throat and turned his attention to Chiron’s tea once more.
“You really gon’ leave that tea here, huh?” He said shaking his head in fake mourning. Chiron pushed the mug away from himself and nodded.
“I gave you warning, man.” He said and smiled again. He looked down quickly, eyes always avoiding Kevin’s gaze. Kevin got up, taking Chiron’s mug and setting it on the counter. He walked back over to Chiron.
“Come on then, Black,” Kevin said while walking away, “I’m pretty sure you tired now. I’ll show you where you can sleep tonight.” Chiron stood up, putting his hands in his pockets. He followed Kevin. He still had some leftover clothes in the car from when he went to visit Teresa and stay with her for a few days. She often liked his company and he tried to visit whenever he could. As a habit, he always left some clean clothes to stay in. He absently wondered if he had some sweats to stay in. He didn’t want to sleep in his boxers in Kevin’s home, didn’t want to reveal himself like that yet.
The room looked comfortable, still faintly smelling of paint and fresh linen. As if no one had the time to give the room the scent of being lived in. There was a full size bed with thick blankets and a ton of pillows, which Chiron knew would be discarded as soon as his nightmares came to visit. He could only hope that Kevin wouldn’t bear witness to any of them.
“It’s small, but it’s something that’ll keep you warm and safe.” Kevin said looking around once more. Chiron nodded again and Kevin paused, looked at Chiron and chuckled.
“What?” Chiron said looking down. Kevin wished Chiron would stop hiding his beautiful eyes from him. They were constantly filled with questions, always searching. Kevin wanted to respond with kisses on his dark skin, wanted to lay Chiron down and make him forget all the wrong, wanted to make him scream his name until he went hoarse and couldn’t speak or scream anymore. Kevin felt the electricity in his body, felt the warmth pooling in his stomach and knowing what that signified, he quickly veered away from his thoughts and focused on an appropriate response.
“Ima need you to start saying more to me, Black. You’re driving me crazy not knowin what’s going on in that head of yours.” Kevin said. Chiron looked down again and kicked a foot out, watching the carpet color change from light to dark to light again.
“You got any clothes witchu? I know you not about to sleep in them jeans.” Kevin said pointing to his guest’s uncomfortable bed wear.
“Nah. I got some clothes in the car. I just gotta go grab them.” Chiron said. Kevin nodded and followed Chiron out.
Finally, when all was said and done, Chiron changed into his sleepwear for the night. Black sweatpants and a gray wife beater. Deciding that it was too hot for even a wife beater, Chiron peeled it off and threw it amongst the pillows. He walked slowly over to the light, looking at everything again, really wondering if he were about to sleep in Kevin’s home. Once grasping that everything around him was tangible, he flicked the light off and got under the covers. The smell was comforting, the darkness was even more comforting. The man he had an intense passion for. The same man who made Chiron really understand who he was that night at the beach was there with him, in the same home. Even then, Kevin understood. For years, Chiron pushed that night to the back of his mind because he didn’t think that he’d ever have the chance to see Kevin again. The memories were sometimes too painful. But every night, Chiron had one of two dreams. He’d either see his mother, screaming, while she pumped herself full of drugs, for Chiron to get away from her. Her eyes were full of disgust. The only thing she ever looked at with longing or love was a syringe. Sometimes, Chiron wished he was the syringe just to get a feeling of the love his mother hid away from him so well. If the dream was really bad, she’d chase him and try to pump him with the drugs too, saying, “Don’t you wanna be numb, baby? Huh, Chiron…?” She’d laugh and her eyes would look glassy. Seeing but not seeing at the same time. Chiron feared being numb. Life was painful but feeling it, made him stronger. He didn’t need to run away from anything. He’d wake up drenched in sweat, tears never surfacing to express the fear, the hatred and the love he had for his mother. She was trying to get better but his head wouldn’t forgive her, generating the same reason as to why Chiron should hate his mother. Every night.
The other dream he had was at the same beach where Kevin showed him what it was like to be desired. To be wanted and appreciated. He was grown in that dream, and Kevin, he maintained the look he had currently with his caramel skin and plump lips. Always ready to give a smile. Chiron would be sitting on the sand and staring blankly into the ocean, darkened by the night, wishing it would take him away. Perhaps to another life, perhaps to Kevin. He never really knew. He’d be there for a while before Kevin actually showed up. Kevin always showed up. He’d smile at Chiron and sit down next to him, somehow knowing that he needed silence. They waited, watched the ocean together, watched the moon and maybe the stars if they were available. Eventually Chiron got tired and would lie down on the sand. Kevin would look at him and smile and he’d keep on looking until Chiron would smile, look away and quietly ask what’s up.
“You a real beauty, Chiron. Damn.” He’d say while sucking his teeth and shaking his head. True to real life, Chiron would be quiet. He took the opportunity to breathe, to relax.
“Forreal, man. I just wanna…” Kevin stopped himself and looked out into the water. He laughed while shaking his head. “Nevermind, Black.”
“Whatchu wanna do? Huh, nigga? You goin’ soft on me?” Chiron would ask, teasingly. Kevin looked down at him in mock appall.
“I see you still have that smartass mouth, huh?” He said. Chiron stared back, smiling.
“I’m still tryna figure out what you wanna do.” Chiron said, not knowing where his bravery came from. Kevin grinned and climbed over his body, straddling him.
“You wanna know that badly?” Kevin asked. Chiron shrugged, still acting nonchalant, when really his heart was racing and threatening to run out of his chest. Kevin kept looking but Chiron kept his silence. “Oh, so you can act big but you don’t know how to speak, huh?” Kevin said. “That’s okay, I’m sure that I can get something out of you.” He made eye contact with Chiron again before going for his pants. He skillfully unbuttoned Chiron’s jeans and pulled them down. Chiron’s mouth slightly opened but he bit his lip again, in anticipation.
“You gon’ say anything yet?” Kevin asked while grabbing ahold of Chiron’s hard length. He saw Chiron’s abs clench through his dark blue t-shirt as he tried to control himself. Lip still held down by his teeth, he shook his head, arms by his side, grabbing the sand as Kevin slowly stroked. Kevin stuck his other hand up Chiron’s shirt, rubbing his stomach.
“Take that off,” he said quietly pulling Chiron’s shirt. “I wanna see you.” Chiron sat up, Kevin still in his lap and pulled his shirt off in one movement, making sure to lay back slowly onto the sand. Kevin groaned low and Chiron instantly recognized the sound. It was hunger. Kevin swooped down for a kiss, slow and passionate, savoring everything that was Chiron. He sighed into the kiss and felt Chiron’s hands cup his face. He pulled away and pinned Chiron’s hands above his head, swollen lips forming another smirk.
“Ah, ah, man. You’re not using your words, so don’t use your hands neither.” He went back to stroking Chiron, making sure to look him in the eyes. Chiron fidgeted, mouth slipping open. He looked at Kevin’s hands working him, going fast, trying to bring him to the edge. He started to arch before he could control himself.
“Come on now,” Kevin said, “I wanna hear you, Chiron.” Chiron whimpered, breathing quickly, finding himself trying to run away from Kevin’s grasp, his eyes, his lips. He didn’t want to come quick. He wanted to be in the moment forever.
Kevin stopped, removing his hands from Chiron’s body. Chiron gasped at the loss of contact and instinctively grabbed himself. Kevin batted his hands away not even a second later. He started to remove his own clothes and got off of Chiron. He positioned himself between Chiron’s legs and gently spread them. He leaned down and whispered to Chiron.
“I know you wanted to get close, but you’ll speak when you want it bad enough.” He kissed his neck and pulled away. He pointed two fingers to Chiron. “Suck ‘em.” Chiron did without question or protestation. Kevin had to close his eyes to block out the sinful sight of Chiron with his fingers. After what seemed like forever, he pulled them away, almost coming at the sight of Chiron’s plump open lips glistening, eyes filled with submission. He positioned his fingers at Chiron’s entrance, slowly entering, watching Chiron’s face for any discomfort. Chiron immediately tensed up, arching his back. He tried to work his hips, get used to the feeling. Kevin placed a hand on his stomach, stilling him.
“I know. I know, Chiron. Just relax, man. I’m tryna make it good for you.” Kevin said softly. Chiron couldn’t help but be grateful. Even when they were teenagers and they were at the beach the first time, Kevin always made it about Chiron and only him. “So damn tight.” Kevin muttered to himself and breaking Chiron out of thought. He felt his face heat up and he concealed a smile.
Eventually the two fingers started to feel good, Kevin added another and Chiron found himself spilling out moans. He threw his head to one side and tried to get more. More of Kevin. More of this euphoric feeling. He looked up at the stars and again at Kevin, who was positioning himself against Chiron’s entrance. He looked at Chiron to confirm that it was okay and Chiron nodded.
The stretch felt good. It wasn’t too much for Chiron. He knew that Kevin was trying to control himself. He tensed without meaning to and Kevin immediately dropped his head down, groaning.
“You can’t do that shit to me, Chiron,” he said panting from the effort of controlling himself. It took every ounce of willpower to not just plow Chiron into the sand and make him come over and over and over again. Chiron arched up, moaning as Kevin went in deeper. It was a connection that he’d long been waiting for. He finally got it, was getting it in the place that started it all. It meant so much more to him for that.
“Kev…” he half sighed and half moaned gripping nothing but sand, “More. Gimme more.” Finally, everything was becoming too much for him. He spoke. Kevin looked unsure at first, perhaps hesitating for too long because Chiron wrapped his legs around him and brought him in roughly, mouth dropping open. The sensation was so overwhelming, Chiron was letting out broken moans, repeating Kevin’s name over and over again. Kevin, trying to clear the fog that was his brain, clumsily grabbed for Chiron’s length once more and worked Chiron with quick strokes. The heat in his stomach was so intense. He was so close, but it was about Chiron. Always about Chiron.
“Come on, Chi, come for me.” Kevin said thrusting hard and fast. He pulled Chiron closer, and leaned down. Chiron’s eyes were closed tight, grabbing sand roughly. His stomach contracting beautifully with every breath he took. Kevin kissed his jaw, going down to his neck and sucking hard. Chiron bared his neck to get more, grabbed onto Kevin’s shoulders and started to see his vision spot out with pleasure.
“Kev…Kevin,” he swallowed and another moan was punched out of him as Kevin went impossibly faster. This man was on a mission.
“Come for me, Chiron.” Kevin moaned, thrusting erratically, a signal that he was even closer. Chiron grabbed at his back and pulled him closer to close the distance between their chests. His eyes rolled back and he arched up as waves and waves of pleasure consumed him. He didn’t know what to do, he felt so good. He clawed at Kevin’s back while streams of come painted both their stomachs and Kevin’s hand. Kevin kissed his neck through his orgasm and whispered words of praise in between in each kiss. “You look so beautiful when you come. So beautiful, Chiron.” He stopped thrusting hard into Chiron because he didn’t want him to be overstimulated. He knew that pleasure would soon turn into pain if he did. He took slow, long thrusts, hoping not to disturb the peace too much. Chiron was still recovering, still panting. Sweat beads glistened on his neck and chest.
Kevin came not too long after Chiron. He’d already been so impossibly close but he held out for Chiron. His arms were supporting him, palms flat against the sand.
“Oh, shit.” Kevin groaned, going rigid. Chiron whimpered underneath him at the sensation of being filled so much and so quickly. He clenched around Kevin which forced another choked moan, and reached up to pull him down before he got too weak and fell on top of him. Kevin twitched inside of Chiron, letting out small sounds as he emptied himself into him. He was breathing hard, his sweat covering his stomach in a thin layer along with the rest of his body. They laid there in silence for what seemed like a long time. Kevin’s voice interrupted.
“Mmm…damn.” He said gently pulling himself out. He rolled off of Chiron, wrapping an arm around to bring him too. Chiron was flush against his chest, breathing normally again.
“Chiron that was…” Kevin said letting out a huge breath. Chiron weakly chuckled.
“If this is how it’ll be, I’ll never speak again.” He mumbled.
“Man, shut up,” Kevin chuckled softly, “You’d be gettin' it anyway.” They both laughed, Kevin wiping the sand off of Chiron’s back, dusting him off until they fell asleep under the stars, traces of dawn making its appearance.
*********
“Yo, Black, you good?” Kevin called into the dark room. Chiron was on his back but he started quickly, hearing Kevin’s voice. He turned around so he wouldn’t see his erection and laid on his side, blankets covering him.
“Yeah.” Chiron said, voice cracking. Kevin smiled before starting to close the door, unaware of Chiron’s jumpiness.
“If you need anything, I’m right down the hall.” He said before shutting the door, leaving Chiron with his thoughts again. As if that worked out the first time. Chiron groaned and tried to will his ‘friend’ away. Now was certainly not the time. He heard, Kevin’s room door close and he sighed before closing his eyes.
“Shit.” He said aloud. What had he gotten himself into?