Chapter Text
“Hey there, drifter.”
The familiar voice behind him made him smile, and he pulled the bar stool next to him closer, patting it for his surprise guest. He didn’t want to look at her, wanted the anticipation to rush into his veins a little and bring him life.
“Hey there, silver eyes.”
Summer sat next to Qrow and began to indicate to the bartender her order before his hand lifted as he said, “She’s on my tab.”
“I’ll just have a water, thank you,” she chuckled.
He wanted to look at her, to quip about how he could afford a drink for a lightweight like her, to let the smile she brought to him bubble up into laughter as it always did when they were together. But he didn’t.
“How’s the squirt?” he asked instead.
Summer’s eyes were on him now. She sat close enough to him to where he could feel her drop the hood to her shoulders and turn all her attention on him. She pretended to sound condescending, but her amusement rang clearer. “She’s your niece.”
“She’s a potato with hair.”
She laughed despite her effort to be serious, causing her to snort and cover her face, the heat from her blush turning the electricity between them into fire. Even without looking, he could feel everything next to him. “She’s almost eighteen months. She doesn’t look like a potato anymore. But she’s great, thanks for asking. I bet she’d love to meet you again.”
“Maybe I’ll swing by for the big two.”
She managed to regain her composure as she settled down next to him, her shoulder gently nudging him. It was subconscious. She leaned back into place before she realized what she’d done. “Tai would like that.”
He smirked, glass to his lips. “I’m sure Tai would.”
They sat content in a moment of silence, his attention focused completely on her presence next to him. The bartender dropped off her glass of water, which she grasped with both hands. He could feel her every fidget, and he frowned as he realized how excited she’d gotten at his suggestion. “I can’t make any promises,” he reminded her.
“I know.” Her smile had fallen, and his heart sank. He made a mental note to not forget this time, and then he wondered if that wasn’t her plan all along.
“How are you ?” she asked. This time, she reached for him, hand gently placed on his knee, the warmth from her touch pumping that life she brought into his veins. He used to joke about how so much heat could come from such a tiny person. She was quick to say she only felt hot to him because he ran so cold.
“The usual. Trying to find my brat of a sister while taking orders from the man behind the curtains.”
She leaned closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. She may have acknowledged his answer, or maybe she was simply sighing into his side, but either way, his heart still skipped a beat. He closed his eyes and savored the touch, the feeling of warmth and life and love that only Summer could bring. Whiskey came close, but it was an acquired taste. She was something he craved from the start, and he could stay like this forever.
But like whiskey, it wasn’t safe.
"Summer…” he finally said, voice as firm as he could make it.
“Qrow.” She met his tone, and he finally looked at her, silver eyes and all. His heart ached as he took her in all over again. The small features and bright silver eyes framed by the short, red-tinged hair. The plump lower lip she’d chewed red and dry from worry, the scratches and tiny white scars too pale for the casual eye that he’d memorized from injuries past on her porcelain skin. She was being serious now.
“I’m pregnant.”
The breath he’d been holding suddenly fell out of him. Waves of thoughts washed over, extinguishing the fire she lit inside. Disappointment? No. He’d willingly given up his chances. Anger? He couldn’t be mad. He knew better than to hold on to what little he could with her. Sadness? He dropped his head to keep her from seeing through him. “Of course. Give Tai my congrats.”
“It’s not his…”
The waves that hit him froze, and she repeated herself to clarify. “It can’t be…”
He shook his head, looking towards her but not at her, as if frantically searching the corners of his mind for a possibility that her words didn’t mean what they did. “It was… only once…”
She placed a gentle hand on his face, steadying him as she forced his eyes back on hers. She raised her brow, a small but efforted joking smile, as she said, “That is all it takes.”
“I thought you-”
She knew what he was going to say because he sure as hell couldn’t finish his thought. “I’m only helping take care of Yang. Tai and I… aren’t like that.”
Qrow felt his breathing escalate. Panic was overcoming him. She reached for him, placing both hands on his cheeks now. “Qrow. I told you before. I love you.”
He slowly exhaled and focused on her. Her eyes, filled with affection and adoration, seemed to settle him momentarily. If not her eyes, then the words that followed were enough. He needed to stay calm. Things always seemed to get worse when he was worked up. He didn’t just drink to drown his sorrows. The duller he seemed to be, the slower his bad luck seemed to get, so he put his attention on her and tried to get out of his own head.
When he managed this, he knew the most important thing to make sure of was her living situation. Tai was kind and adored her, but having been betrayed by the first woman he loved, he may not be so accepting.
“Does he know?”
She shook her head. “I haven’t said anything yet.” Looking back at him, she seemed to know why he asked and reassured him, “But he knows how I feel about you. I’m sure he’s put it together.” The grip she had placed firmly on his cheeks to calm him relaxed, one hand gently brushing back along his cheekbone and through the hairline behind his ear. Comforting and so warm, he closed his eyes and lost himself in her touch.
He remembered that night he foolishly gave in to the hopes and dreams he’d fostered in his youth. He had sworn to himself that he could live on just one night. One night of touch and of vulnerability and of tender words. One night of her. It had been foolish before because all it did was make the longing stronger. But it was foolish now because the consequences hurt more than just him.
He placed his hands on hers, forcing himself to let go. He couldn’t do this to her. A child? His child? With Summer? He couldn’t be a father. He couldn’t risk that life- their lives- like those of the ones he’d already lost. He wasn’t safe. Bad luck. That’s what he was. That’s all he would ever bring.
He guided her hands away from his face, which fell cold without her touch. “I can’t.” The words were strained. Deep down, he didn’t want to say them, but even in the picturesque fantasy world of his dreams where he could be that doting husband to the woman he loved and father to their child, all he imagined was the inevitable misfortune his Semblance would bring.
“What?”
He looked at her, felt his chest throb as if he were drowning, denying his body of the air he so desperately needed to survive. He tried to convey this to her with his eyes, tried to remind her how much it hurt him to tell her no but how necessary it was. “Summer… I can’t. I’ve told you- I can’t stay. If I’m in one place for too long, you know what happens.”
She smiled at him. Innocent, optimistic, and stubborn all at once. “I know. So we won’t. We’ll follow you anywhere. I’m prepared to do that. Yang will be old enough for Tai to handle on his own. I’ll fight beside you like I always have and-”
“Summer .” He put all his energy into her name as his heart broke. “You can’t follow me. It’s not safe. Especially not for a child.”
She pouted, persisting. “I’m stronger than your ‘Semblance.’ Tai and Raven never could work with you, but I could. That should be proof enough, but I can be a Huntress and protect our child. I’ve taken care of Yang, haven’t I?” She wanted to shoot back at him, let him know how much pain pushing her away caused and hide the desperation she now faced, but she could only plead. She knew.
“Yes. With Tai . But if you haven’t noticed, I’m not exactly the warm fatherly type, either. Even if I could guarantee your safety, I’d never be able to be a dad.” He tried to be resolute, to put up his crude persona to keep her from breaking down his walls. Just like when they were younger, when he first realized how he’d fallen for her and tried to make her hate him so she’d never get close enough to get hurt.
“Do you think Tai figured things out as soon as Yang was born? He was helpless. Being a parent doesn’t come with a textbook, Qrow. But you’re capable of loving someone, aren’t you?” He closed his eyes, wincing at her words. She was trapping him.
“Don’t do this.”
“Or are you saying you don’t love me?”
“Stop it."
“Well?”
The first time he’d ever met her, he’d liked her. She seemed so cute and shy, but when Raven angrily combated the leadership Ozpin had bestowed upon her, Summer proved her might with precision and a sharp tongue. That was when he knew he was in trouble.
He tried to be rude, to tease her and taunt her so she’d keep away, but those silver eyes saw through everything. His teasing became theirs, his taunts became flirts, and his attempts at pushing her away only made her stand strong.
“You know that’s not true,” he whispered.
Her voice was breaking. She was holding back tears. “Then don’t tell me you can’t.”
The breath and his voice caught in his throat, but he choked out regardless, “I can’t .”
As if the universe meant to emphasize his point, thunder rolled outside, a storm closing in. Mutterings through the bar about the sudden inclement weather echoed as he continued. “Say you follow me. What are the chances you’ll die in childbirth? The baby could be stillborn. You could miscarry. Or maybe your water breaks fighting a Grimm. Or a Grimm attacks you at your most vulnerable. You could get lucky. It could all be normal, but how long are we willing to take the chance that your good luck will run out? What if the kid’s got the same curse? Do you really think two negatives make a positive? Think of all the possibilities, Summer, and tell me those are risks you’re willing to take.”
She hesitated. She knew he had a point. Even when she never believed in his Semblance, she always did respect the chance that he may.
“I’m not saying I can’t because I don’t love you. I’m saying I can’t because I do. I’m no good for a kid. And I’m certainly not good for you.”
He didn’t turn back to look at her because he knew she was crying now. He could hear it in her voice as she begged, “Don’t say that.”
“Tai will love her the same way you love Yang. Give her a sister. Or brother. But let them have the family I can’t.”
“Qrow,” she sobbed. “I don’t want Tai.”
He couldn’t take it anymore. He threw his arms around her and held her tight against his chest, nearly toppling her out of her stool. “I know,” he whispered, holding back his own tears. No one ever made him feel as wanted as she did. No one ever made life feel so worth it. It was more than he could have ever asked for.
He let her cry, holding her close to try and stop any more words between them. If they kept talking, she might convince him to change his mind. He might do something foolish again.
When there were no more tears, she stayed put. It was sinking in how ineffective they were, how words were no longer an option. So she stayed in his arms, hoping that she could keep him there this time.
It occurred to him, somewhere deep in the bottom swells of his thoughts, that that one night he had given into may have been an effort such as this. It was a possibility harder to swallow than the numerous fates he had come to imagine befalling her due to his misfortune. So he put it out of his mind for another time.
He finally gently pushed her off his chest to pay the tab and stood, hand around her shoulder as he made it known he would walk with her to an inn. They exchanged no words, only the silent acknowledgement that this was it.
As they walked, she held to him tighter, begging him to come with her but knowing better. He let her touch him as she wished. She grasped his hand as they stepped outside, weaving her fingers into his. She delicately traced the lines of his chest as they waited to cross the street. She ran her thumb along his jawline while he paid for her room. She pressed herself against his back between his shoulder blades as he unlocked the door. And when he opened the door, turning to let her in, she stood on her tiptoes to kiss him.
He held her, kissing her in a moment he promised he would relive until the end so that he could remember what it felt like to be alive. Her warmth, melting away the horrors he had frozen in time to return to as a reminder of what he wrought, and her strength, breaking down his walls and exposing him for how truly lonely he was.
But when she let go, she knew his mind was made up. It felt as if she knew all along. In that moment, he looked at her and saw the flames die, a cold reflection of himself staring back, and he realized this was the misfortune he had brought her. He had rid her of her life.