Work Text:
You are Karkat Vantas. Today, or whatever day it is, has not been good. You’ve spent it watching Sollux and Eridan strife it out and pacifying a very pissed off Gamzee. Not to mention that bucket ‘Egderp’ threw through Harley’s portal into your face. Yeah all that shit. Now you are hammering angrily at your keyboard writing memos and hoping fucking ‘future you’ doesn’t respond. But wait! Karkat fucking Vantas doesn’t have that much luck. No fucking chance. Of course there he is! Being a right nook sniffer over everything you say. There he goes again! Off on another rant about something you didn’t do but wishes he had. What? Fuck! This timeline thing is really confusing you. You wish Aradia was around so you could get her to explain this because grub-sauce you are confused. But then she’s too busy to even give any thought to much else. To be honest, everyone is leaving you alone. No one is bothering you. Except future you but what the fuck, he isn’t really any more annoying than any of your pals. What you’re more worried about is the death toll. Not that you really care.
Your thoughts are interrupted by a shrill cackle from Terezi, a rap from Dave and sigh from Rose. You aren’t going to any peace and quiet down here. You quickly tell future you to FUCK OFF and close the memo before absconding, much to the surprise of the others. Especially when you said you weren’t leaving this God forsaken lab. Fortunately for your think pan, no one follows you.
You take turn after turn, going deeper into the maze of the meteor, until you find yourself at the place that is known to you as the place they never let you in to. That happened to be Nepeta but you decide that seeing as no one has seen her around lately, you can’t think why, that you’ll let yourself in. You have a sudden feeling of guilt and stop. What if she caught you? She’d probably go bright olive with rage and embarrassment. But then why would she be embarrassed? Was there something she didn’t want people to know? Must be. All the more reason to have a look around.
You banish your guilt and enter. Once in, you close the door behind you. Looking around you see the drawings on the wall. You examine the pictures, of which, there are many. You see Terezi and Dave with a heart between them and a drawing of Tavros and Vriska and Kanaya with a grey club. It’s all well and good just having a right snoop around, until you come face to something labelled as OTP, whatever the fuck that meant, and stop suddenly. Your mutant blood runs straight to your face, warming your cheeks. Was this really there? Was this really a chalk drawing of you and Nepeta kissing with a heart underneath? You abscond so quickly that you forget to leave the image behind.
Again you wander down more empty; grey clad, halls and corridors. Nothing disturbs you. Not the honks from the vents or the scrapes of blood on walls. You are completely lost in your thoughts. What was that meant to mean? Did Nepeta like you in a flushed way? What the fuck Karkat! How have you never noticed? She always acted weird around you. Shy, embarrassed like she was hiding something she was ashamed of. Something no one would accept. Subsequently to these thoughts, you aren’t looking where you are going. That is until you find yourself falling. You stare at the floor for what seems like forever, though only being for a few seconds. Picking yourself up you rub your nose and inspect what tripped you. It’s not what you were expecting.
The thing that tripped you up was a body, a dead body, a very familiar dead body.
Nepeta lies curled up in a protective ball at your feet amongst a pool of olive blood; her blood. Her hat is gone, taken by that ass of a clown, letting her hair hang over her small crushed body. Your feelings almost prevent you from noticing the sketch that lies curled up beside her. It is a very familiar person. So familiar you know immediately that it’s you. Nepeta had drawn you in her blood with her dying breath. Your throat clogs and jams and you struggle to draw breath. When you do, it comes in shudders. Nepeta had been thinking of you before she died. You! And what did you do all the time? Shoved her away! You let her die without knowing whether her flush crush returned the feeling! You are such a fucking bulge head! You kneel by her side and plant the most gentle of kisses on her cheek. You leave before you kill yourself there and then so you can join her. You think of nothing else until you are back at the transportalizer.
All heads turn to face you when you arrive back in the lab. You give them the hardest, strongest stare you can muster before planting your guilty backside on your chair. No one speaks. Not even Dave. You slam your head onto your keyboard and lay there. You’re not sure how long you are like that, your thoughts filing through the same thoughts over and over again. You feel hands on your shoulders. You know them. It’s Terezi.
‘Karkat?’ She questions.
‘Fuck off.’ You mumble.
‘Karkat, what’s wrong?’
‘Nothing.’ Lie.
‘No ‘nothing’ is something. Has something happened?’
‘Fuck off with your concern for me!’ Regretted instantly.
‘Karkat.’ Now her hands are massaging your shoulders. Terezi is never this nice. They must definitely be worried. ‘Tell me what’s up. Something has happened hasn’t it?’
You can’t hold it anymore. You turn suddenly and bury your face in her shirt and weep. Weep like you have never done since you were only a grub. You are Karkat Vantas. You are crying. You never thought you could cry at all, never mind crying a tsunami into existence. Terezi just holds you. Not in a romantic way, more like a mother and child way. You don’t care. Not one bit. Not anymore. Not now that Nepeta was dead and had left without hearing you say;
I love you too Nepeta.