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It was Valentine’s Day and although Loki had never celebrated the Midgardian custom, he was all too eager to use this day to confess his love for you. Since you arrived Loki had felt a strong and unmistakable urge to get close to you and was delighted when you were kind to him, giving him a chance despite the fact he believed deep down he didn't deserve it- at least, that's how it felt. Over time you grew to become Loki's most loyal and trusted friend- his best friend, but Loki would never reveal that to you and it definitely had nothing to do with the fact that he didn't have any other friends aside from you, and it definitely wasn't embarrassing to talk about. Still, he couldn’t remember a time when someone treated him with such kindness and genuinely, not until he met you.
He'd realized some time ago that he wanted to claim you as his own- make you his- but his own self-doubt had gotten in the way. Sure, Loki was a charmer and a sweet talker. He was handsome and intelligent and before the fall he could have taken any woman from Asgard to his bed (come to think about it, he probably still could) but Loki actually wanted you to like him. He hadn't cared if the women he bedded liked him or not since he hadn't planned on pursuing anything further, but with you, it was different. He wanted more than just a warm body to fill his bed. He doesn't know how you did it, but you’d done it. He'd fallen in love with you and decided today- Valentine’s Day -he would finally confess his feelings for you. It wasn't going to be easy, putting himself out there and taking the chance when you could easily reject him and leave him stripped bare and raw- vulnerable. But, how was one ever suppose to know if they never take the chance?
Loki was in the break room going over the poem he had written for you one last time, and making sure that it was free of any errors before he gifted it to you. On the table, sat a bundle of beautiful orchids, your favorite flower. You’d mentioned it in casual conversation once, but Loki-being-Loki remembered everything you’d ever told him.
Just as he was finishing up his preparations Natasha had walked in to get a bottle of water. Since they weren’t exactly friends he didn’t take the time to acknowledge her or speak to her when she came in.
Natasha opened the fridge, not noticing anything out of the ordinary at first, but as she rose up she paused and made an ugly face. Shutting the fridge, water in hand, she walked over to Loki with a look of amusement written all over her face.
“What the hell are those?” She pointed at the flowers, snorting. “Are those for a girl? You- in love?” Natasha laughed harder cupped a hand over her mouth before turning away from Loki to leave, but not before spitting out another insult.
“Seriously. Nice one. As if anyone would ever want to love a monster such as you.” She spat out venomously and mockingly before she finally retreated from the room.
Loki froze, staring at your card and flowers until he finally admitted defeat and let out an angry, frustrated cry. As much as it pained him to admit the assassin was right. He was a monster.
‘Such a fool.’ He thought to himself. ‘No one could ever love a monster such and I, and here I am thinking that I actually deserve her love... Even after all of the horrible things I’d done... To think that she could... That she would ever...’
With a single swipe of his hand, the flowers landed with a plop inside the trash can below. He tossed the card that contained your poem into the trash with the flowers never giving it another thought. He sighed, leaning against the table for support while he hung his head in shame.
Well, at least this way you wouldn’t be able to hurt him if you were never put in a position that would force you to reject him. He knew you cared about him as a friend, but really, he’d been delusional to think that a woman as sweet as you could ever love a man like him. The monster.
‘Coward. You hear me- you’re nothing but a gutless, spineless, coward.’
You walk in to find Loki with his head hung low with what looked like a bundle of orchids sitting in the trash. Confused, you take a few steps into the room, but when Loki turned around, unaware that you were behind him, you watched all the color drain from his face. Quickly breaking eye contact he darted out of the room before you even had a chance to say anything. Well, that hadn’t been strange at all.
Loki was always in a weird mood, but he seemed to be in an even more unusual mood than normal. Curiously, you strolled over toward the direction of the trash can, kneeling down until you found a card and picked it up, taking your time to admire the very beautiful but very large bundle of orchids.
Opening the card you found a poem. Wait- it was addressed to you! Your heart was pounding as you greedily took in all the words, leaving you enchanted and captivated, never having read anything quite so beautiful before.
Your breathing hitched and your heart skipped a beat as you stared dumbfoundedly at the signature of the man who had written you such beautiful words.
Yours truly, Loki.
The God who cannot help but fall madly in love with you over and over again.
It took you a moment before the realization finally hit you.
Loki??!!!
Loki had been the one to write this..... For you?
Butterflies filled your stomach at the revelation and you let out a shriek of happiness, having to use every ounce of willpower that you had to keep from jumping for joy and doing a ridiculous happy dance in the middle of the break room.
Wait....
You frown. You’d been so excited about the card and who’d written it that you’d forgotten about that fact that you’d found it in the trash only moments ago. You couldn’t figure it out. Why hadn’t he given this stuff to you? Why did Loki throw it away?
The truth was you were head over heels in love with him. It wasn’t enough that he took your breath away just from the mere sight of him- not to mention he wore leathers so tight it should be illegal- but his voice... Loki's voice was hypnotic. The accent alone was enough to send you trembling to your knees. But the most important factor was that Loki was your closest and dearest friend and you loved him. Yes, he had his moments like we all did, but even when he scowled and furrowed his brows you couldn't help but think he was adorable.
There was just something about Loki that made you feel safe and warm even if you couldn’t put your finger on the exact reason. Maybe it was because even in his worst moods, he had never been truly unkind towards you. You weren’t sure when you’d fallen for the dark prince exactly, but for months now you’d been pining over him in secret, never daring to try and push for more since you were convinced he could never want you.
But he did- he does.
It was hard to wrap your mind around and you had a difficult time coming to terms with the fact that Loki cared about you the same way you cared about him.
That Loki loved YOU.
That he wanted YOU.
Your eyes widen at a realization. “That’s why he looked at me like that when I walked in. He must have literally just trashed this stuff,” you mumbled to yourself glancing back down to look over the card once more.
Then it hit you- if you’d walked in just a few minutes later, you would have missed Loki’s strange behavior and you would have never thought to check the trash can.
You would have never known those Orchids were for you. Never having read his beautiful confession of love- not knowing that he loved you at all.
You clutched the flower and card against your chest for a brief moment before deciding you were going to get to the bottom of this and find out why- Why he’d given up. You knew Loki would never open up and tell you what happened, but someone else would.
You stopped by your room first to properly put away the flowers and leave the card by your nightstand. Leaving your room you head down the hall, finding Natasha and Clint standing around and laughing uncontrollably at.... Something.
You couldn’t help that you were curious and approach them with a smile. “Hey, guys, what’s so funny?”
“Oh, get this!- Natasha was just telling me how she caught Loki with flowers and a card.” Clint laughed hysterically holding his side. “Fucking, Hilarious.”
“Oh?” Had these two idiots really forget that you and Loki were friends, while they stood around and talked shit about him behind his back? “Is that so?”
Oh. HELL. NO.
“Yep! I told him that no one would ever want to love him being the monster that he is. I mean, seriously, what the hell was he thinking? I can’t even think of anyone that would be stupid enough to even risk a relationship with that kind of crazy.”
Oh really? Is that so...
You’d had enough, feeling your blood pressure rising you became consumed with anger. Your hands were trembling and it was taking every ounce of willpower that you had not to beat the living shit out of both of them right here and now.
You glared at Natasha seething with rage. You were always the quiet, shy type, at least until someone made you really mad. Which turns out was actually really hard to do unless they were talking shit about your best friend. One thing was for certain, quiet and shy, was NOT in your nature at this very moment.
“Didn’t you use to kill people for a living before you joined SHIELD?” You bluntly spew and Natasha’s eyes widened from the sudden outburst. “You are all a bunch of fucking hypocrites! We’ve all done terrible things- horrible things. So why can’t you give Loki a fucking break, already? Do you honestly think you’re so much better than he is? News flash, he’s a God- a God that could smash you with his boot if he really and truly wanted to. So, I would suggest you learn your place and keep your mouth shut!”
Natasha stared at her with an open mouth and tried to speak, but only sputtered nonsense from being caught so off guard. Clint opened his mouth for a second before he wised up and slammed it shut.
A heavy silence hung in the air.
“I also cannot believe that you told Loki no one would ever love him and that he was a monster. You’re the monster and a bitch!.” You roared and turned with the intention of leaving before there was bloodshed, but you just couldn’t help yourself. Turning your head to glare at them over your shoulder you shouted, “Oh, and for the record, I love Loki, so the next time I hear you talking shit about him I will shove my boot straight up your ass!”
You headed straight for Loki’s quarters, determined not to let Natasha plant those horrible thoughts inside his head. You’d tried numerous times to convince Loki that his intelligence and magic was way better than Thor’s clueless personality and overrated (and in your opinion boring) brute strength.
You saw nothing special about slinging a hammer around.
You softly knocked on his door getting to the count of three before you were met with an angry pair of emerald eyes. It was obvious his mood had not changed and he looked at you with something that resembled disgust. It may have even hurt your feelings if you didn’t know what you already knew.
“What do you want?” His tone came out a lot harsher and angrier than what you were used to.
His face was guarded, but for a brief moment his eyes betrayed him and revealed just enough for you to see the pain and sadness that lie behind them- blinking it all away a moment later.
“Can I come in, please?” You ask softly.
Loki didn’t respond using words. Instead, he rolled his eyes and glared at you for several moments before letting out a heavy sigh and stepping off to the side and let you in. As soon as you were in the room you jumped from the loud and unexpected sound of his door slamming shut.
He wouldn’t meet your eyes only staring down towards the floor.
“So, what is it that you want?” he repeated coldly clenching his jaw.
Deciding that you might as well get it all out in the open you got straight to the point.
“I found the flowers and the card that you were going to give me in the trash,”
His eyes finally snapped up to meet yours and you watched them as they grew wider and wider, witnessing all the color drain from Loki’s face for the second time today.
He looked like he was going to be sick- do Gods even get sick?- You wonder.
“You.... What?” He exclaimed and let out a cry of disbelief. “No, no, no- FUCK!”
“Loki-”
“Please, just don’t.” He snapped, throwing a hand up defensively. “I’m well aware that I’m a monster so there is no need to confirm it. Just pretend you never saw it and I will pretend I never wrote it.”
His voice cracked by the end of his sentence and he released a growl of frustration. You took a guess that Loki was trying really hard to avoid looking vulnerable right now. Your heart ached, you’d never seen him like this.
Realizing actions would speak louder than words you approached him and backed him into a corner as he eyed you warily. Pressing your hands against his chest you slide them up and around his neck and tilted your head to study his reaction. His breathing had quickened and he was eyeing you curiously.
Leaning in you closed the space between you and pressed your lips firmly against his. After the initial shock wore off, he started to respond in return. You parted your lips, hoping to encourage him to deepen the kiss. And he did, responding more eagerly from your touch, and you couldn’t help but wonder how long he’d been starved and deprived of affection- physically and emotionally.
Gracefully, he lifted you up and carried you to the bed, placing you down gently before finally pulling away from your lips to frantically search your eyes. You knew what he was looking for. He needed the reassurance. He needed to know that you wanted this. That you wanted him.
“The poem you wrote me, it was the most beautiful thing I had ever read.” You tell him honestly, holding eye contact with him as you spoke.
“And no matter what you think, I know that you are not a monster. Because if you were truly a monster I could not love you, and I do, Loki. Even before today I knew that I already loved you."
Loki leaned in to cup your face and gave you a kiss so fierce that it left you breathless before pulling back to whisper, “Happy Valentine’s Day.”
“Happy Valentine’s Day.” You reply with a grin and let out a yelp when Loki pulled you into his chest unexpectedly, nuzzling against the crook of your neck and wrapped his arms snugly around your waist.
“I love you.” He whispered hoarsely against your ear.
“I love you too,” You murmured softly, pulling back slightly so Loki would meet your gaze. A mischievous smile danced across your lips.
“Now, " you began, using a tone so casual and carefree that Loki hadn’t expected those particular five words to come tumbling out of your mouth. "Make me scream your name.”