Chapter Text
I nervously wipe my hands on my skirt before adjusting my shirt, again. Today I was going to tell Claire how I felt. I've been crushing on her for almost a year now. I would confess my love for Claire today! Through a love letter...that I spent three days agonizing over writing.
This probably wouldn't be the first time Claire's been confessed to. Actually, I'm certain this is nowhere near the first time. Claire's just like an angel, she's the prettiest girl in the entire school, in the entire district even. She was gorgeous enough to be a model. Of course, she would have a whole truckload of admirers, crushing on her. Including me.
With a final bout of courage, I walk to Claire's class. She was alone right now. I know this because this isn't the first time I've tried to confess. It's actually my twelfth try. I have a fairly good idea of Claire's schedule by now. At the third bell, Claire was always the last one to leave class. I have no idea why, but Claire's always consistent with her departing times.
I go inside the class and my breath catches in my throat. Claire was sitting at her desk, with a peaceful look on her face. She was absolutely breathtaking.
I nervously walked to Claire and gave her my, embarrassingly, cutesy love letter. Claire blankly looked up at me, before grabbing my letter and opening it, then she started reading it out loud. I blush intensely at hearing my sincere, awkward, and intense words. "I really like you. I like you so much, I'll do anything for you," Claire read to me. Each sentence was more embarrassing to hear than the last. I blush even harder and try my best to endure this humiliation.
"Do you really mean it?" At first, I don't catch Claire's question, my brain too occupied trying to keep me calm, but then she asks it again.
"Do you really mean it?! That you like so much you'll do anything for me?" Claire asked again, with a pissed off edge to her voice. Maybe I imagined it.
"Y-Yes. Of course...but why are you asking..?" I shakily ask.
Claire smiles and hums to herself. "I see. Well, then. Would you care to throw away this letter you wrote me?"
I stare at her, dumbstruck. Did she really just ask me..to throw away my love letter?
"If you do it, I just might go out with you," Claire said with a dismissive tone.
"W-What..." I desperately try to articulate the hurricane of emotions running through my head.
"Holding this letter is annoying, so would you please throw it away. You said you'd do anything. Or was your letter, just a lie?" Claire says.
I must be a fool. Or maybe I had no self-esteem. Either way, I take my letter from Claire's delicate hands and throw it away into the trash can. It feels so awful to throw it away into the rubbish bin myself. It feels like my heart was being punched. For a second I think I'll be okay, but then tears start to stream down my face. I'm pathetic. The emotional turmoil is beyond description. I stand still and try my best to not make any noises as I try to hold back more tears.
Suddenly, Claire unexpectedly grabs my arm and pulls me in a hug. She stands on her tiptoes to wrap her arms around my neck.
"Don't cry. Seeing you cry.....makes me want to throw up," She says while looking up at me, "So stop crying."
Overwhelmed and confused, my eyes make little effort to stop my tears.
"If you stop crying, I'll go out with you."
Claire's words cause me to sniffle and huff and try my best to stop crying. I must truly be a fool with no self-esteem. Through painful breath-holding and snorting, I stop crying. I wipe my eyes and even my breathing.
That's when I hear the bell ring. Great. With a little more awkward staring, we both leave the class without even glancing at each other.
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It's after school, and I'm walking home...with Claire. We're even holding hands. I wonder if she really did mean it when she said we could go out if I stopped crying. I had always thought of Claire as a perfect angel, but then again, before I'd never seen this side of her. When I think about it, I didn't know anything about her at all.
I look over at Claire, and she seems absolutely unfazed. Well, I guess that's understandable since it was me who was riding that roller coaster of emotions. I wonder if Claire has had other girls tell her the same things I did. The thought puts a bitter taste in my mouth.
"I have to turn right here," Claire says while letting go of my hand. I nearly choke on the words I want to say.
"U-Uh..You know earlier when you told me not to cry...I didn't cry. Um..So want to go out?" I say with an awkward stammer.
I look down at the pavement, feeling my cheeks heat up, more so than what they were before. I couldn't believe how desperate I sounded.
"Okay. Let's date," Claire says with the same, painfully, dismissive tone she used in the classroom.
I nearly cry with joy. No matter how mean Claire is to me...I just can't help myself from loving her.
"T-Thank you! Do you..want to go to the movies or-"
"Why would I want to do those things?" Claire asks sharply.
"I mean..how can we be dating and not go on any dates," I say with a, surprisingly, even voice.
"Just come over to my house," Claire says and walks towards the right. I honestly have no idea what I should do as I watch Claire walk off. I could follow her, but what if I got suckered into doing something embarrassing? I stare at her while frowning and, probably, looking pitiful. Claire doesn't even give me a side-ways glance before yelling, quite loudly, "Come on!"
Reluctantly, I jog next to Claire. We walk in, suffocating, silence for what feels like an eternity. Claire makes no effort to start a conversation. She only leads me further up the road. This situation really did suck.
"We're here," Claire said to me, before grabbing my hand again.
I gape dumbly and blush at our intertwined hands. Claire doesn't seem to care, and just pulls my hand harshly into her front yard. I open my mouth to ask Claire if it's okay for me to be intruding like this, but the words die on my lips as Claire shoots me a questioning glare.
We...well, Claire walks into the large house in front of us, while dragging me along. We go up the stairs and enter a spacious room that looks like it was made for a princess. The walls were a soft pink, the drawers and hardwood floor were white, and the bed was one of the cutest things I've ever seen.
"Wow," I say softly. Feeling a sense of awe at being in Claire's bedroom. I've fantasized being here for months.
"Wipe the gross look off your face," Claire warns me.
I blush furiously and try my best to look normal. I think I failed though, by the way, Claire looked at me with disdain.
She walks over to her walk-in closet and comes out with what looks like a dog collar. The gold tag says "Pet" on the front and Claire and her address on the back.
"So you have a dog?" I ask, actually feeling curious.
"No, I have you."
I think somehow my face turned an even darker shade of red. Did she expect me to wear this thing? I mean the thought of being owned by Claire wasn't all that unpleasant, but I had my dignity! Or at least, I think I do.
Claire hands me the black, leather collar. For a while, I just stare at it in my hands. I guess I really don't have any dignity because I slowly put on the collar. It's snug around my neck, but not uncomfortably so. Claire watches me with a pleased expression. I feel my heart soar at her approval, and can't fight against the dopey smile that overtakes my face.
"What's your name?" Claire asks me.
Shame suddenly weighs on me at doing these ludicrous things for a girl who didn't even know I existed a few hours ago.
"I'm Alexa....Alexa Shepherd." I say while looking away from Claire.
Claire laughs at my name. A happy, amused laugh. I suddenly feel very happy again.
"You'll be my German Shepherd then," Claire says with a smile at her clever play on words. I make no response to Claire's words, other than stare at the floor.
"Get on your hands and knees and kiss my shoe pet," Claire commands.
My eyes widen at the odd, command. Lately, Claire has been catching me off guard again and again with the things she'll say. With the same foolish courage that got me into this mess, I walk over to Claire and drop to my knees. Claire was sitting on the bed, with her feet a tad bit elevated from the ground. I move my hands to grab Claire's shoe when she suddenly yells at me.
"You're not allowed to touch!"
I flinch away from Claire, before calming down and bending over to kiss the tip of Claire's boot several times. Claire said just to kiss her shoe, but would this be enough? I look up hesitantly to see Claire watching me with an unreadable expression. I'll continue...I'll continue until Claire looks pleased again.
With renewed fervor, I start kissing Claire's shoe. I lather the top of Claire's shoe with soft kisses and, feeling a bit bold, I even lick it. Claire's cute leather boots are oddly warm beneath my lips. It encourages me to continue kissing at the nice texture.
Claire shoves the bottom of her shoe onto my face and presses it there firmly.
I hold back the feeling to move her shoe with my hand, and just start kissing the sole of Claire's shoe. I feel a lot grosser kissing the bottom of Claire's shoe, even though the top side of her shoe couldn't have been too much cleaner. To make it all worse, the bottom of Claire's shoe wasn't warm like the top was. I felt dirty. I look up at Claire, and somehow I don't feel surprised when I see Claire, almost, sadistically smiling. Her face enchanting me, as well as making me nervous. Determined not to disappoint, I deeply kiss the bottom of Claire's shoe to the point that my lips start to hurt. I continued until Claire pulled away her foot.
"The maids will be coming upstairs to clean soon. You need to leave," Claire said emotionlessly.
I stare at Claire with hurt eyes.
"You're not allowed to take off your collar unless I tell you to," Claire informs me.
I resist the urge to complain to Claire because I'm sure she would be upset if I did. I hope my parents won't question this. I really would die of embarrassment if I had to tell my mom how I ended up having to always wear this collar. There's just no good way to say, "the girl I love makes me prove my love by making me throw away my love letter, kissing her shoe, and wearing a collar that says pet."
"Hey! I said leave!" Claire shouts at me.
I must have been standing there with a blank expression longer than I realized. I embarrassedly go to the window and open it before jumping to a tree that was, somewhat, near the window. I balance myself on the branch to calm my breathing before jumping down from the tree.
I look at my collar, that felt more constricting than it had before. I wonder how I'll hide this at school. Or if Claire even wants me to hide it. I'll jump that hurdle when I get to it, I guess. With a frazzled state of mind, I make my way home.