Chapter Text
Emil slammed his pencil down on his desk victoriously as he finally finished his homework.
"Finally, I'm free." he said. He really needs to stop talking to himself.
Emil packed his pencil and binder back in his backpack and grabbed his laptop. He'd been dying to check it for ages—he'd heard the Skype notification going off like crazy—but promised himself he'd make sure to start finishing his homework before using any technology every day.
He was surprised to see a new chat in his conversations list. As soon as he opened it, he was bombarded with a bunch of messages from the past hour. They were all between two people, one he recognized and one he did not. He read the last of the messages, and immediately wished he wasn't in this chat.
Not Dracula: you're disgusting
ForeverAScone: i just want to know
Not Dracula: for the last time, I'm not gay!
and even if I was
I'm still not a vampire
ForeverAScone: I'm not saying you are a vampire, I'm saying if you were a vampire, could you still suck a dick? Cuz the fangs, ya know?
Ice Steilsson: Vlad. Why am I in this chat?
Not Dracula: Em!
because, we barely talk now that we're in high school!
we used to be best buddies!
I thought it would be fun to introduce my new best friends to my old best friend!
then we can all be friends!
Ice Steilsson: Why are you friends with this person? Have you gone insane?
ForeverAScone: rude! Come on dude, you're such a stiff. Lighten up a little would ya?
Not Dracula: it wouldn't hurt you to be a little nicer, em~
but to answer your question, this isn't my friend.
ForeverAScone: ouch
Not Dracula: it's his boyfriend
ForeverAScone: dude, you ruined it.
I was trying to troll all of Artie's friends.
Ice Steilsson: ...
What?
ForeverAScone: I am so sorry.
I let Alfred use my computer for his homework but the bugger decided to use my Skype without permission.
Ice Steilsson: Oh. It's okay I guess.
ForeverAScone: jrkelsldhrj
Hrjejdhs
Jdosowmdbdnslsn
Not Dracula: I'm guessing they're fighting over the keyboard now?
...
aaaand now they're offline.
the_viking_king: I leave my computer alone for one hour
and come back to see this.
Ice Steilsson: same -_-
...
What's with your name? It looks like something a sixth grader would come up with.
the_viking_king: wow, you're exactly right. My idiot Danish friend made this account for me in sixth grade. Don't ask why I kept it...
what about you, "Em.The.Ice.Queen?"
Ice Steilsson: that was Vlad! He made this stupid account for me.
the_viking_king: ah, so we're in the same boat.
Not Dracula: haha omfg I forgot you guys aren't contacts so you can only see each other's usernames. This is so cute.
Ice Steilsson: what's that supposed to mean?!
Not Dracula: you can be the queen to his king~
Ice Steilsson: not funny
the_viking_king: what, it could be fun
Ice Steilsson: oh no. You're insane too, aren't you?
the_viking_king: I'm just saying, it could be fun to pretend. It's not like I know you irl anyways.
Ice Steilsson: how about no?
the_viking_king: what do you think Vlad?
...
Vlad?
Ice Steilsson: that jerk went offline without saying anything...
the_viking_king: hey, you want to share contacts? Then we could talk in private chat and actually see each other's names
Ice Steilsson: sounds good. I would hate to spam the group chat...
the_viking_king would like to share contacts with you
Emil hit accept.
Ice Steilsson has shared contacts with the_viking_king
Lukas Bondevik: much better. Tell me your name isn't actually Ice...
Ice Steilsson: of course not
I just don't like sharing my name with strange people
Lukas Bondevik: that makes sense. I wouldn't call myself strange though.
Ice Steilsson: I didn't mean you! Just people in general.
Lukas Bondevik: wow, I was joking. You're so cute omg.
Ice Steilsson: excuse me?
Lukas Bondevik: you get all defensive so easily
it's adorable
Ice Steilsson: oh shut it!
Lukas Bondevik: you're doing it again~
Oh my goodness you're only fifteen that's so cute
You're like a little baby
Ice Steilsson: are you reading my profile?!
Lukas Bondevik: is there a reason I shouldn't be?
Ice Steilsson: well no, I guess not.
wtf you're only 17 how am I a baby?
Lukas Bondevik: you just are.
why did you leave your gender unspecified?
Ice Steilsson: it's annoying that people always have to act differently depending on the gender of whom they're talking to!
Lukas Bondevik: what do you mean?
Ice Steilsson: girls get all uncomfortable when there's a guy in the chat and guys never say what they're actually thinking when there's a girl around
This way no one acts differently when talking to me
Lukas Bondevik: oh man. You're definitely a girl.
Ice Steilsson: what?!
Lukas Bondevik: that is so something only a girl would say
Ice Steilsson: fuck you!
Lukas Bondevik: and now you're getting defensive again. At this point there is nothing that can convince me you aren't a girl.
Ice Steilsson: you're an ass
Lukas Bondevik: and you're cute
I wonder if you look as cute as you act~
Honestly why do you have a puffin for your profile picture?
Ice Steilsson: I just really like puffins okay? Shut up.
Why is your picture of someone throwing another guy in a garbage can?
Lukas Bondevik: that is me. Throwing my friend in the trash. Because he is trash.
Emil blushed slightly. This guy was hot. Really hot. Oh god why couldn't he know someone that hot in real life?
Ice Steilsson: okay thats actually hilarious, I'll give you that.
Lukas Bondevik: thank you, I try
Come on, you know what I look like. I wanna know what you look like
Ice Steilsson: why does it matter?
Lukas Bondevik: it doesn't really
even if you look like a potato I'll still talk to you
Ice Steilsson: sheesh
Is that any way to talk to a lady?
Lukas Bondevik: hah! So you are a girl. Knew it.
Emil sighed, considering his next move. He could take this opportunity to prove that he was, in fact, a boy, or he could play along and pretend to be a girl for a while...Emil smirked as made his decision.
He searched on his computer for a picture of himself from a year back. More specifically, a picture of the time his friend Leon forced him to go to a convention with him. Cosplaying. As a girl. A very very convincing girl. He sent the picture to Lukas and awaited his response.
Lukas Bondevik: holy shit
you're hot
Emil nearly screamed. A hot guy called me hot! he thought. He would've been more excited had he not remembered that this guy thought he was a girl. Fuck, he's probably straight. Wait what am I thinking? It's not like we're ever going to get together or anything anyways. I don't even know him!
Em, you still there?
sorry if I made you uncomfortable
I just didnt think you'd be that cute, that's all
Ice Steilsson: ah sorry. You just surprised me...
You're pretty hot yourself
Lukas Bondevik: thanks
Hey it's kinda late so I'm gonna try to sleep
Talk to you tomorrow?
Ice Steilsson: sounds good
Emil sighed as the other boy logged off. He wanted to keep talking to him. He wondered if maybe it was wrong of him to pretend to be someone he wasn't, but decided it was just fine. Besides, the real him would never be that flirty or talkative either. No one was their real self online.
Emil put his laptop away and plugged it in to charge before getting up to get ready for bed. He already felt himself getting impatient for tomorrow to come. He couldn't push aside his eagerness to get to know his new friend a bit better. Goodness, maybe I really am a girl, he thought before he fell asleep.