Chapter Text
Nathan and the guys were doing the normal blank on blank YouTube video this time it was Jay on Nathan twitter questions about small things like what kind of food he thought was gross or when you get drunk do you throw up badly.
Nathans point of view
It sucked too because I didn't feel so good today to begin with and the questions were just making it soo much more worse I wanted to throw up, but I didn’t I just felt my face go pale and the guys noticed it too so they said bye and turned off the cam.
"Nathan?" Jay calls turning toward me.
"Nathan are you ok" Jay asked getting closer to me
"Ha ya I just don’t feel so good, I’m good we can keep going" I say shifting in my seat.
"Keep going Nathan your face turned white" Jay said looking really conserved
"Ya" Max and Tom said at the same time
"I hope you’re not getting sick because we have a concert soon don't want Nathan yakking on stage" Siva said
"Oh god ya the concert is in a week" I say as I had a rush of Nausea and jumped up running to the closes bathroom
“How could he forget that” I hear Tom say
Bathrooms I hate public bathrooms especially when I’m throwing up why am I throwing up anyway.
A week later
I was feeling better a lot better and it was the day of the concert too so that was good.
We just got here and we were late too yahoo we needed to get ready but I needed to pee like a race horse and every one was yelling telling us to get ready, go to makeup, go here go there, get this get that so go to the bathroom now and fast. I finally got to the bathroom peed and washed my hands but there was no napkins so I whipped them on my shirt, I stop and did it again then I just laid them on my stomach it was hard really hard when someone came in the bathroom making me jump. I left the bathroom to get ready, I finally got dressed and I was ready to GO. We were ready and on stage when I a cramp hit me and hit and hit me hard, I just kept getting them too. Then we started dancing and it just got worse the more I moved, I couldn’t stop dancing though.
(If heartache was a physical pain
I could face it I could face it
But you're hurting me
From inside of my head
I can't take it I can't take it
I'm gonna lose my mind
I'm gonna lose my mind)
Then it came to my part but that feeling kept coming over me and it was starting to feel like I was going to die.
(And I'd rather be crazy
I'd rather go insane)
Thoughts
We finished the concert and again I had to pee like a race horse AGAIN, what the fuck is going on with me.
Throwing up
Peeing
Hard stomach
Cramps
I just kept thinking about it over and over till I got back and pasted out on the couch.
2 weeks later
The cramps just kept happening more and more, I stopped throwing up too so that made me happy. Tom found out he's going to be a father, he was telling us too like right now.
"Ya I went over there and found her throwing up in the bathroom" Tom tells us still standing in the middle of the living room.
"I tried helping her up when I felt her stomach it was hard, how fast do they start growing? She had a small round hard stomach under her shirt?" Tom says throwing up his hands
When everything started clicking in.
Thoughts
Throwing up
Hard stomach
Peeing
When everything went black
It was 8 weeks ago 8.
Flashback
8 weeks ago flashback
It was a huge party (as I did my shoulder walk, walking into the party) the party was a little too big for me right now even to loud. They’re music was louder than our music and way too many people I get that every day, why would I want it on my free time? The only good thing is they have beer that Max can sneak me. Now its 12 god I still don't want to be here but I'm drunk so let’s have some fun with this shit.
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(I don't need to try to control you (Oh, yeah)
Look into my eyes and I'll own you
With them moves like Jagger
I've got the moves like Jagger (Yeah yeah)
I've got the moves like Jagger)
Played as I danced on the bar table men and women all around me when the song changed to one of their songs, Chasing the sun to be exact. I start jumping up and down in the middle of the dance floor singing along with the song.
I was having so much fun till I started getting dizzy the worlds spinning hahaha, when Jay came over to help.
“The world is moving, wow I’m drunk” I giggle trying to balance myself.
"Nathan how much have you drank?" Jay asks grabbing both my arms to keep me balanced.
"Not that mu... I think I'm going to yak" I say covering my mouth with one of my hands.
"Ok wait one minute the bathroom is right over here" Jay says as he was basically carrying me to the bathroom.
Nathan point of view back to the parasite
I wake up on the floor with every one over me, looking at me.
Then it was just flashes of good really good sex with Jay and someone else bald guy, then I woke up with no one with me so I just thought it was a really fucked up dream.
"Why would I sleep with Jay anyway" I say in my head
"Hey Nathan you ok dude" Tom asks
"I’m fine really get back to her yakking and hard tummy ya, I just don't feel good again" I say
“Nathan you passed out” Jay says helping me up.
“ya its kind of funny you’ve been sick a lot yaking, tired, gaining weight when you’ve been yaking a lot, and now passing out” Tom asks
“and headaches, stomachaches, and a few other things” I blurt out, man I didn’t want to say that.
"Dude I'd say you were pregnant too if you were a girl" Siva says
I didn't even say anything to that remark, I just walked away with my eyes closed because I was still dizzy. As I walked away I heard mumbling, I know Siva was just joking but I don’t think it’s a joke. Oh god no I can't be pregnant I'm a guy why am I even talking to my self about this; I should just do it all ready get a pregnancy test and take it. Yes that's what I'll do wait, what well I tell the guys oh that I'm going to get flu medicine ya that's it.
“Hey guys I'm going to the store want anything?" I say, hoping to god they don’t ask questions.
"Ya a root beer" Siva answers
"No thank" Max answers
"Mmm ya twizlers, please" Jay answers smiling at me.
"Aspirin" Tom answers
Wow this whole pregnant girlfriend is hitting him hard.
"Ok be back soon" I say walking out the door.
Thank god they didn't ask why I was going to the store, I hate lying to them they’re like my brother well Siva and Tom are because I slept with Jay and Max and that’s just weird. I get to the store, I don’t really know where to go so I just walked down each alley. When I finally found the right alley I walked up to the shelf looking at all the pregnancy test, why do they make so many? I grab a few different ones. When I get to the cash register he didn’t ask anything about it just rang me up, thank god. I ask to use the bathroom and still he does ask any questions just tells me where to go, I walk into the bathroom scared I just looked around the bathroom. I stood in front of the mirror just staring at myself, when I finally got the balls to open the bag and pull the pregnancy tests out I put them of the sink. I looked back into the mirror then looked down at the tests picking one up, I read the derations to each box. I did what they all said and started to wait, I felt like time was going slow so slow. When the alarm clock I set went off I look down at one of the test to see TWO PINK LINES, I want to the next one and the next one each one had the result as the first one. That’s when I started to panic I’m pregnant, how am I going to deal with this, how is the band go to deal with this, how are the lads going to take this, and how am I going to deal with any of this.
"Fuck you god fuck you" I scream
I got myself to gather but now I felt guilty
2 months later (Nathan is five months pregnant)
Now im wearing big baggy sweat shirts and sweet pants, god I don't wear sweat pants every day this is killing me. On top of that the baby is kicking ya the baby is kicking now and kicking the shit out of me. Me not knowing who the dad is getting to me too, me hiding it alone is murdering me. I pee all the time, I eat like a pig but throw it up. I know the guys notice everything, which makes the me not telling guilt even worse. When they did notice my stomach once they called it a baby beer gut, which is Funny because I haven’t had a beer in 18 weeks.
"Hey Nathan get out of your head dude what are you thinking about anyway?" Tom asks
"Nothing sorry" I say
"Well it's something because you missed two of your lines" Jay says
"Oh I'm sorry, let’s do it over I’ll do better" I say
"Ok" Tom says
[Max:] sang
(We've only just begun
Hypnotized by drums
Until forever comes
You'll find us chasing the sun)
When all of a sudden I get sick to my stomach and moved back a step, it was from the baby moving but that’s when I started remembering that night. Max’s voice triggering the memoir of the sex 18 weeks ago, it was Max, Max was the bald guy I slept with. I slept with Jay and Max oh god who's the father, I didn’t even think about it about who the father was until now.
[Nathan:]
(They said this day wouldn't come
We refused to run
We've only just begun
Few mins later)
[Jay:]
(I'm never
I'm never down
Live forever, forever
With you around)
The baby moved to the point that my knee’s felt like they were going to buckle and all I could think is how can a baby move so much so early in the pregnancy, who out of Jay AND Max who is the father of my child.
[Nathan:]
(We've only just begun
Hypnotized by drums
Until forever comes
You'll find us chasing the sun
Then we'd finished the song)
When we got home I went straight for my room like I always do now a days, I just sat there thinking about everything. How I have to tell the boys, management, and the world. About how scared I am about this whole thing period, a baby I’m going to have to take care of a baby. What if Jay or Max think I’m a freak and don’t want anything to do with me or the baby, what if they all think I’m a freak. I have to tell them though I can’t hid it any more, for two reasons. One being I really can’t hid it my sweaters are starting to get to small showing off my shape everything is getting to small, and two its killing me not telling them. After a few I get up and start for the living room, I can’t do this, I can’t hid it from them anymore. I just pulped right down on the couch spacing out probably looking shocked to them, I could still hear every one but I didn't respond I didn’t want to. Then I felt to bump two kicks at the same time so I started Thinking maybe I have more than one in me, ya that’s all I need more than one. How am I going to take care of one or more babies? Then I went back to thinking about how I didn’t know who the father, most defiantly me having more than one baby would freak, scare, and force Jay or Max away. What am I going to do run away ya right where would I go?
"What's up with Nathan?" Jay asks
"Could it be about that night we did a three sum he's been different ever since then" Max asks
"I hope not because he said and seem to like it... Nathan are you ok" Jay asked again
“You remembered the sex” I say not really asking
Siva and Tom are just staring at me, when Jay sat down next to me and put his hand on my knee. The baby or babies started instantly kicking, I unzipped my sweat shirt and lightly grabbed Jays hand and put it right on the spot where the baby or babies were kicking. He pulled his hand away and what I didn't see coming he put his hand back, he put it back. The room was quit no noise a pin could drop and we would hear it, I thought they'd freak, call me names, make fun of me, even run. Jay just kept his hand there not moving it from the spot it was at and moved his other hand to the small of my back, Max moved a little to a crouching position with his hand over his mouth, Siva and Tom just stood there and stared at my stomach. I was the one to break the silence, I had to it was making me sick.
"What the fuck say something, call me a freak, do something please, do anything" I begged
"Why?" Siva asked the first one to talk not taking his eyes off my stomach.
"Why, what" I ask shifting a little in my seat, Jay following every movement so his hand didn’t leave my stomach.
"Why call you a freak, why do something" Tom ask breaking his gaze from my stomach looking up at me.
"Because I'm freaking out, because I’m a freak" I say
"Who's the father?" Max finally says something.
And there I go gone I lost it balling my eyes out, sobbing and they all came rushing over to me with no hesitation. Jays hand was still on my stomach, I put mine on his.